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This Challenged Me — Part 2

lone bench in fog
Creative Commons License photo credit: Makz

“He then learns that in going down into the secrets of his own mind he has descended into the secrets of all minds.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

First off, thank you, every­one, for read­ing Part 1 of the interview!

This whole expe­ri­ence has been enlight­en­ing, has been reveal­ing, has been hum­bling.  And it really makes me real­ize, as dif­fer­ent as we all are, indi­vid­u­ally, in many ways we are the same.  Deep down, at our core, we are united.  We are one…

Today, we are mov­ing on to the sec­ond install­ment,  Part 2 of my inter­view with Stephen Hop­son, from the Adver­sity Uni­ver­sity Blog.

Once again, Stephen has chal­lenged me with ques­tions that make me look deep within myself for answers.  He has a real skill for this!

It has truly been an honor to par­tic­i­pate in this inter­view with Stephen, and to share myself with all of you, my friends.

As we pre­pare to say good-bye to this year, and enter our next, I thank you, all, for your vis­its, your read­ing, your com­ments, your time.  Thank you, every one of you, for mak­ing this jun­gle a bit less tan­gled.  You are awe­some, all of you!

Sunday Thought For The Day

Pigeon Point Lighthouse
Creative Commons License photo credit: Mum­b­leyJoe

“Faith is the dar­ing of the soul to go far­ther than it can see.” ~ William New­ton Clark

This Challenged Me — Part 1

Questions
Creative Commons License photo credit: Ober­azzi
“Life’s chal­lenges are not sup­posed to par­a­lyze you, they’re sup­posed to help you dis­cover who you are.” ~ Ber­nice John­son Reagon

Today, I have the great honor of being inter­viewed by Stephen Hop­son, from the Adver­sity Uni­ver­sity Blog.  Stephen really does ask the tough ques­tions, ones that have made me think very deeply.  Check out Part I of the inter­view, and see how I did with these chal­leng­ing ques­tions!   Part II to be aired next week…

Stephen writes very much from the heart.  His works always impress me, with the level of detail he shares, and with his very hon­est and authen­tic words.  When not blog­ging, Stephen fills his time as an inspi­ra­tional speaker, author, and pilot.  That’s a pretty cool com­bi­na­tion!  (…and I won­der if he’s really a ther­a­pist too!?)

The Adver­sity Uni­ver­sity Blog is all about how we all have adver­sity in our lives, and yet — how we can all over­come these adver­si­ties we have, and go on to achieve the dreams we have in our hearts!  Stephen has first-hand expe­ri­ence deal­ing with adver­sity, and over­com­ing it.  He has been pro­foundly deaf since birth, and yet has went on to accom­plish much in his life, not let­ting this be an obsta­cle to his suc­cess!  And that is a very pow­er­ful story, and mes­sage of hope for all of us!

A cou­ple of ran­dom posts from Stephen:

How Mak­ing an Irra­tional, Last-Minute Deci­sion Can Change Your Life

Knock, Knock: “Can You Come Out to Play?”

Thanks, Stephen!  You can check out Part I of the inter­view here.

Sunday Thought For The Day

Candle
Creative Commons License photo credit: @ly$ in wonderland

“Maybe Christ­mas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christ­mas… per­haps… means a lit­tle bit more.” ~ Dr. Seuss, from ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’

Bounce!

Note:  If you’re hav­ing trou­ble view­ing the video, click here.

“Fun is good.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Memo­r­ial Day, 2008

It was a cool, yet sunny, spring week­end.  Late May.  We packed our sleep­ing bags.  S’mores  were secured.  Wood for the evening camp­fires packed.  Swim­suit — check!

We were on our way — a week­end away, with friends.  Off to a spot where our cell phones didn’t work.  Into small town Amer­ica.  And then, beyond…

Sur­rounded by corn fields and cows.

Ahhh…

It was a nice camp­ground, out there away from every­thing.  Snack bar.  River.  Pool.  Bas­ket­ball court.  Big bouncy pillow.

Big bouncy pillow?

What is this thing that seems as big as a foot­ball field?  And draw­ing all the kids to it, like a mag­net find­ing spilled nails..

Day 1 and day 2, relax­ing days.  Kids wan­der­ing off (pre­sum­ably to the big bouncy pil­low).  Adults hang­ing out.  Yet, by the third day — what was the draw of this big ‘thing’ that had all the kids want­ing more, all the laugh­ing, all the screaming?

Big bouncy pillow!

Why do the chil­dren get to have all the fun?

And with that…we joined in!  A cou­ple of adults amongst hun­dreds of kids (well, not hundreds…lots, though!).  And it WAS fun!  And ALL the kids loved it!  Loved us out there, with them.  Kids we didn’t even know — drawn to us.  And we jumped.  And we bounced.  And we fell (with­out com­pletely squash­ing some of the smaller vari­ety out there).  And we had FUN!  Big, crazy, kid-type fun!  Care­free fun!

Sure, we were tired when we fin­ished.  We needed water (and oxy­gen! — almost!).  Our legs ached the next day.  Was it worth all this?

YES!

“I think of life itself now as a won­der­ful play that I’ve writ­ten for myself, and so my pur­pose is to have the utmost fun play­ing my part.” ~ Shirley MacLaine

As we get older, as we leave the days of our child­hood, and move toward the days of adult­hood — we some­times leave also the care­free fun that being a child means.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Just because we’re no longer a child, doesn’t mean fun has to leave our vocabulary.

Go out.  Have some fun!  Be goofy!  Act silly!  Do some­thing that makes oth­ers smile or chuckle!  Be a lit­tle weird!  Act a lit­tle strange! Get out of your com­fort zone of typ­i­cal adulthood!

Look­ing for ideas?  Check out the Escape Adult­hood blog, where Kim and Jason make being more child-like a top pri­or­ity!  It’s the cure for adul­ti­tis!

Have some fun today.  YOU deserve it!

Sunday Thought For The Day

Best Helicopter Skiing
Creative Commons License photo credit: Best Heliski­ing Canada

“You have to take risks. We will only under­stand the mir­a­cle of life fully when we allow the unex­pected to hap­pen.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Kindness Comes In Small Gestures

Unclaimed Mitten
Creative Commons License photo credit: Chris Camp­bell

“No act of kind­ness, no mat­ter how small, is ever wasted.” ~ Aesop

A cold morn­ing, even for us.  Fresh snow from the day before blan­keted the browned lawns through­out the neigh­bor­hood.  For a fourth grade boy, the draw toward the pow­dery white was too much.

The day was Fri­day.  In the com­fort of a warmed car, we drove up to the bus stop.  Lit­tle Bear could wait with me for his bus to arrive.  The draw toward the pow­dery white…

Lit­tle Bear  needed to get out, to run in the fresh, white snow.  To make a snow­ball.  And at his bus stop, two other neigh­bor­hood girls were get­ting out of their car to wait for the bus, as well.  First grade.  Kinder­garten.  New kids to our neigh­bor­hood, hav­ing just moved in within the past month.  On this cold morn­ing, even for us, three kids now play­ing in the pow­dery white.

And then it hap­pened.  With­out prompt­ing.  Not some­thing I did.  Not some­thing his mother had done.

The first grade girl was strug­gling to get her mit­tens on.  Hands freez­ing.  On this cold, cold morn­ing.  Lit­tle Bear removed his gloves.  Set them down.  Lit­tle Bear then helped her to get her mit­tens on.  Cool­ing his hands to help her warm hers…  Unaware he was being watched.  Just doing this because it was “right”.

As his par­ent, I could say that it’s what we’ve taught him to do.  I could say we actively prac­tice this at home.  That we talk about being kind, being polite, doing what’s “right”

And yet, I believe this act — this one small bit of kind­ness — was not some­thing we taught.  Not some­thing we prac­ticed doing at home.  This one small bit of kind­ness  came from deep within, from know­ing what is right.  From our built-in radar that says “this is right”.

What’s On Your Radar Screen?

We all have oppor­tu­ni­ties, every day, to be a lit­tle kinder.  To help.  To serve.  Is your built-in radar see­ing these oppor­tu­ni­ties?  Or, have you become “too busy” to notice what’s on this radar screen?

Life hap­pens.  For all of us.  It’s easy to focus on “me”.  We all seem to have enough to worry about, right?

Your built-in radar is pick­ing up oppor­tu­ni­ties to share your kind­ness.  Slow down and take a look at that screen.  See what’s on there.  Then take a few sim­ple moments out of your day, out of your world — to make some­one else’s world bet­ter.  Be a light for oth­ers.  Spread good.

Kind­ness comes in small gestures…

Let’s All Just Let It Flow

“Climb the moun­tains and get their good tid­ings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sun­shine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own fresh­ness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” ~ John Muir

Today, it is an honor to share with you another inter­view with one of our reg­u­lar read­ers here at the Jun­gle of Life — Stacey Ship­man, whose blog, Let It Flow, is a source of much inspi­ra­tion in the areas of health, well­ness, and per­sonal growth.  What I par­tic­u­larly like about Stacey is that she is not afraid to express her opin­ion, and often that leaves me with much to think about as I read the words she shares — both in her own blog posts, as well as in her well thought out com­ments she leaves here.  She writes from the heart, and isn’t afraid to open up and really share her­self and her expe­ri­ences.  A recent exam­ple is, Mind vs. Body: Never Give Up and Adven­tures in Rock Climb­ing.  Stop over and check out what she’s talk­ing about!

And with that, please help me in wel­com­ing Stacey here today!

I ask her the tough ques­tions, and Stacey answers them with poise and grace…

1. Tell us a lit­tle bit about who “you” are (fam­ily, career, any spe­cial life expe­ri­ences you’d like to share, etc.)

I am a Mass­a­chu­setts native cur­rently liv­ing 12 miles south of Boston with my hus­band Michael and my two “boys” — Mr. Bob and Habibi (our cats).  I spent 10 years as a mar­ket research pro­fes­sional before leav­ing the cor­po­rate world to start my own “thing”.   I spe­cial­ize in mak­ing stress relief easy and prac­ti­cal.  I still very much use my mar­ket research skills and am grate­ful to have them.

Every expe­ri­ence is an oppor­tu­nity to learn about myself, and some of my most mem­o­rable expe­ri­ences include run­ning marathons in Boston qual­i­fy­ing times, hik­ing and camp­ing in the Grand Canyon, zip lin­ing in the rain for­est of Costa Rica and fire­walk­ing.  Each of those adven­tures helped me develop the belief that I can pretty much do any­thing I put my mind to.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: You’ve had some very excit­ing expe­ri­ences — fire­walk­ing, that one sounds painful!  The Grand Canyon trip — that one’s on my list of things to do.

2. How long have you been blog­ging, and what led you to start writing?

I’ve been blog­ging for almost 2 years, although blog­ging with pur­pose for almost 1.  I started blog­ging to:

1) Increase web pres­ence for my business

2) Get my thoughts out.  I have a lot of infor­ma­tion that can help peo­ple and I wanted to share it.  Now blog­ging helps fuel my pro­grams, speak­ing top­ics and prod­uct ideas.

3. Health and well­ness are a big part of your “story”.  Can you tell us about your journey?

My well­ness jour­ney started in col­lege when I gained the fresh­man 15.  I was shop­ping for jeans one day and the Levi’s sales­woman said to me, “Let me get you a pair of our 550s, they are a lit­tle fuller through the hips.”  I started exer­cis­ing 60 to 90 min­utes, 5 to 7 days a week, and car­ried a calo­rie counter with me. I lost 30 lbs and ended up with mono.  The ill­ness led me to seek out infor­ma­tion so I could more effec­tively man­age my weight and my health.  My pas­sion was born.  I became an aer­o­bics instruc­tor and fit­ness trainer part time and in 2005 became a cer­ti­fied yoga instructor.

The jour­ney hasn’t always been easy or healthy.  With the pas­sion came the obses­sion.  I worked out 2 hours a day, and changed or declined plans in order to fit in a work­out. When faced with fear pro­vok­ing sit­u­a­tions, I exer­cised to avoid it.  Only within the last cou­ple of years did I real­ize this obses­sion was a problem.

I remain active daily and now I am more in tune with the needs of my body.  Some­times I need a run and some­times I need to relax.  That aware­ness has made all the dif­fer­ence in my health and well-being.  My expe­ri­ence cou­pled with edu­ca­tion is the basis for my pas­sion of help­ing oth­ers live life well, bal­anced and less stressed.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: I love your hon­esty here Stacey.  It’s not always easy for any of us.  Hear­ing what oth­ers have been through to get where they are is not only inspi­ra­tional, but gives hope.  Thank you for being so open about the jour­ney you’ve been on.

4. You’ve made the switch from the cor­po­rate world to work­ing for your­self.  What advice would you give some­one look­ing to make this leap?

Based on my own experience:

  • Work on your­self first — I needed to fig­ure out where my fear came from
  • Get rid of the F word — Fail­ure.  It’s a learn­ing expe­ri­ence, not a failure.
  • Be resilient — when you do “fail”, you have to pick your­self up and keep going.  Don’t get stuck in what went “wrong”. Learn from it!
  • Have patience — Prob­a­bly the most chal­leng­ing!  We all want imme­di­ate results.  Slow and steady…
  • Get sup­port — Even if you are start­ing a busi­ness on your own (like me) there are sup­port net­works avail­able — coach­ing, net­work­ing groups, friends, advi­sory boards.

Bonus:  Be flex­i­ble.  The only thing I know for sure is that change hap­pens.  I am not in the same place I was 3 years ago or doing the same things.  I have done noth­ing but evolve and change — per­son­ally and pro­fes­sion­ally.  Allow it to hap­pen, it’s actu­ally very freeing!

5. One of the things I know you’re pas­sion­ate about is yoga.  In a few sen­tences, can you tell us the real ben­e­fits we can achieve by adding yoga into our well­ness activities?

Yoga is a prac­tice you need to expe­ri­ence your­self to truly under­stand. (5 or 10 min­utes a day is all you need to real­ize ben­e­fits).   That said I’ve expe­ri­enced the fol­low­ing ben­e­fits:  Peace of mind, less stress, less phys­i­cal and emo­tional ten­sion, a more pos­i­tive way of think­ing and liv­ing, a new per­spec­tive, greater con­fi­dence, greater strength and flex­i­bil­ity (both phys­i­cally and mentally).

I’ll be writ­ing more about yoga on my blog because I really believe in the practice.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: Stay tuned to her web­site, Let It Flow, this will be good stuff!

6. What do you see as the real pur­pose of your blog (in other words, why do you write)?

I write because I have some­thing to say and I write with the pur­pose of help­ing peo­ple think in a way they may not be used to.  Whether online or in per­son, I love to chal­lenge peo­ple.  I don’t nec­es­sar­ily want peo­ple to agree with me. I do insist, how­ever on mutual respect, espe­cially when it comes to any differences.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: I recall being chal­lenged by you on more than one occa­sion.  And it’s all good!

7. Tell me one unex­pected thing that has hap­pened because of your blog.

The com­mu­nity of peo­ple I “met”.

8. If you had to pick one thing as your great­est achieve­ment, what would it be (and why)?

I was recently asked about my proud­est moments and I rat­tled off 5!  If I have to choose only one…

The risk I took when I quite my cor­po­rate job and the fact that nearly 3 years later I’m still going strong.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: There is a def­i­nite risk in leav­ing some­thing that is steady, for the unknown of being out on your own.  I com­mend you, Stacey, on mak­ing this leap, and con­grat­u­late you on the suc­cess you’ve expe­ri­enced.  This is a great exam­ple to all of us on what is pos­si­ble if we believe in ourselves!

9. You’ve done sev­eral pieces of work using both audio and video.  Can you tell us about this, it’s ben­e­fits, and what you’ve learned along the way?

  • My ulti­mate goal is to be a media per­son­al­ity — TV or radio — I enjoy both!
  • Allows me to share infor­ma­tion to a wider audi­ence.  I espe­cially love inter­view­ing other people.
  • Nice sup­ple­ment to my writ­ing and serve as a great cre­ative outlet.
  • Great way to make busi­ness and pro­fes­sional con­tacts.  Look­ing for­ward to shar­ing more with a new web­site in 2009.
  • Great busi­ness mar­ket­ing tool allow­ing you to show­case your exper­tise and abil­i­ties as a prac­ti­tioner, speaker, etc.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: Once you’re famous and have your own national TV show, remem­ber you got your start right here!!  Okay, on a more seri­ous note, you are dream­ing big.  And what bet­ter way to achieve what you really want than to dream it, and then share it with oth­ers.  Go Stacey!

10. It’s good to sep­a­rate from work — and do other activ­i­ties.  What are your out­lets?  What do these other activ­i­ties add to your life?

I feel for­tu­nate that I love well­ness — as work and as a per­sonal activ­ity, but well­ness aside.…

I love jig­saw puz­zles, watch­ing Will Fer­rell movies (affin­ity for Old School!), Latin and belly danc­ing, rock climb­ing, cook­ing, adven­ture travel, spend­ing time at the arcade with my niece and nephew, and more recently tak­ing stand up com­edy classes.

My favorite activ­ity is sit­ting on the deck or by the fire (depend­ing on the sea­son) sip­ping a glass of wine and have great con­ver­sa­tion with my hus­band, Michael.  Or kick­ing his butt in back­yard badminton!

Lance’s Com­men­tary: The next time we’re in Boston, I’m com­ing over!  Since my wife likes to “beat” me at all things sports (my claim is that I let her win, but maybe that’s an exag­ger­a­tion) — we’ll play men vs. women dou­bles bad­minton — that way I’ll have some­one to com­mis­er­ate with!  And we can close with a good Will Fer­rell movie — I’m think­ing “Kick­ing and Scream­ing”… which I might be doing after the bad­minton tour­na­ment!

Clos­ing Thoughts: Stacey, it’s been a plea­sure hav­ing you here today.  You did fab­u­lous, and it’s been great to get to know you bet­ter!  You are a real source of inspi­ra­tion, have a heart of gold, and have been a great addi­tion to the won­der­ful com­mu­nity we have here.  Thank you, again, for shar­ing your­self with all of us!

Sunday Thought For The Day


Creative Commons License photo credit: Ham­burg­er­Jung


“All your life you are told the things you can­not do. All your life they will say you’re not good enough or strong enough or tal­ented enough; they will say you’re the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thou­sand times no, until all the no’s become mean­ing­less. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.  AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES.” ~ Nike ad

A Simple Holiday and Life Hack

Today, it is an honor to have Jen­nifer Abbott as our guest writer.  Jen­nifer is a won­der­ful soul, car­ing lady, and all-around princess of kind­ness.  A tal­ented writer, Jen­nifer shares thought-provoking arti­cles at Prin­ci­ples for Peace — a blog with a real focus on achiev­ing inner peace and true suc­cess in life.  “Do You Want to be Great?” is one exam­ple of the “spo­ken from the heart” writ­ing she does.  When she’s not carv­ing inspir­ing sto­ries from the key­board -  Jen­nifer enjoys sculpt­ing, soft­ball, and spend­ing time with her won­der­ful husband.

Sit back, have a cup of cof­fee, and enjoy, as Jen­nifer shares with us…

A Sim­ple Hol­i­day and Life Hack

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly end­less.” ~ Mother Teresa

Creative Commons License photo credit: *SMILING PUG

*SMILING PUG* - ????! Gong Xi Fa Cai! , HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, PUG CHINADOLL MODEL BY BUGBABY *-*We all know the hol­i­days can be a bit (or a lot) stress­ful.  For a few rare fam­i­lies the hol­i­days may go effort­lessly smooth, but to oth­ers the hol­i­days can quickly turn into an episode of Every­body Loves Ray­mond.  Let’s take a look at one way we can make the hol­i­days be a bit more pleasant.

I’m involved with a pro­gram called SFT Aware­ness in which we teach peo­ple how to process and remove emo­tional pain.  The fol­low­ing les­son is a part of a les­son we teach that I have found to per­son­ally be very help­ful in my every­day life.  The more I imple­ment this prin­ci­ple the more effec­tive my com­mu­ni­ca­tion is and my life just seems to go a lit­tle eas­ier.  It is really sim­ple, yet takes a lot of effort to mas­ter.  How­ever, I have found the effort to be well worth it.  This con­cept is called the “You” Rule.  And no, that doesn’t mean that YOU RULE, but it does mean that you put the spot­light on your­self.  Con­fused?  Let me see if I can clear things up.

Creative Commons License photo credit: Chris Owens

Flying Hot Dog

Con­sider this: How many times a day do you use the word “you” when it is not asso­ci­ated with a com­pli­ment or giv­ing direc­tions or infor­ma­tion that is asked for?

Have you ever used any of these phrases before?  Con­sider how you feel when these phrases are directed toward you:

You should.…”

You need to.…”

You (can be implied) do it like this.…”

You always.….”

You think you’re.…”

The “You” Rule goes some­thing like this:  Never use the word “you” again except for a com­pli­ment or if some­one asks you for direc­tions or help. As a gen­eral rule, the word “you” is con­sid­ered to be antag­o­nis­tic, puts pres­sure on peo­ple and makes them defensive.

Often when peo­ple use the word “you” an insult or neg­a­tive thought is sure to fol­low and/or the think­ing error of con­trol­ling is involved.  Imple­ment­ing the “You” Rule helps to ensure that these things do not take place.

This rule is espe­cially help­ful when com­bined with assertive state­ments that get your needs met while not offend­ing the other per­son.  Instead of using the word “you,” mix a lit­tle humil­ity and respect with putting the spot­light on your­self and things will go much eas­ier.  You may not always get your way, but you have been heard and you have not offended anyone.

Sce­nario: You are dis­cussing with your fam­ily what to do for the meals when you get together for the hol­i­days.  Some­one sug­gests that you all go out to eat.  Maybe you don’t like that suggestion.

One pos­si­ble response is, “You always make the deci­sions about what we do for meals.”  Does this sound any bet­ter? -  “That’s a good idea.  It would be a lot eas­ier to eat out, but I would like it if we all cooked a lit­tle some­thing and stayed in.”  Not only is the per­son com­pli­mented for “a good idea,” but by say­ing, “I would like it if.…” the spot­light is put on you and the other per­son does not feel attacked.

Other exam­ples:

When you are sit­ting around with your fam­ily at the hol­i­days, instead of say­ing, “You need to read this book.” say some­thing like, “I just read this great book.”  or “I have got to tell you about this great book I read.”  Then tell them about how it was help­ful to you and not how it can help them.  This puts the spot­light on you and they are a lot more likely to read the book and see if it can also help them.

Instead of say­ing, “You always pick the restau­rant when we eat out.”  Say, some­thing like, “You always pick really good restau­rants (com­pli­ment), but I would like it if we take turns choos­ing where we eat.”  Again, in this exam­ple, by say­ing, “I would like it if…” the spot­light is on you.

Obvi­ously, it is not always bad to use the word “you,” but as a gen­eral rule it is con­sid­ered antag­o­nis­tic.  I have found that it’s espe­cially okay to use “you” for direc­tions (IF asked) and great to use it plen­ti­fully for com­pli­ments.  It is also great to use when try­ing to gen­uinely learn more about some­one or when I am ask­ing for help.

In regards to offer­ing help: often times, I have found that peo­ple do not want my help unless they ask me.  So I find it a gen­eral rule to imple­ment the “You” Rule, keep silent and let peo­ple do things the way they do them.

Your turn: Can you think of a time when you used the word “you” and things went wrong?  How about a time when some­one used the word “you” toward you and you felt attacked or pressured?