You said, “Is it really fair for that child to be brought into the world with its beginnings in such a painful environment, where the mother may forever be resentful of the situation, and upset by it, hating it? Looking at that child as a product of a situation that disgusts her? ”
The bigger tragedy would be to extinguish a life that made no decisions to exist but is being killed to convenience another. There are more options, such as adoption, that would prevent the scenario you described.

What if my pursuit of happiness infringes on your pursuit? Who wins? What if my pursuit of happiness involves me snatching some money out of your purse or molesting your child? Should I go for it?

All I was attempting to say in my response was that ,yes, we need to live from our authentic self and go for it in life. But I felt that the post made it sound way too simple. There are times when personal responsibility and what is morally right (or at least legally) needs to take precedence. One of the things that is necessary for us to be grown up in life is to have the ability to delay gratification and make some choses that take bliss out of the equation. (Maybe that is why teenagers are involved in more car wrecks) Without that ability, all hell breaks loose.

I do respect your comments, but I cannot agree with the idea of it being that simple. I have had to work through some things in life that were very hard and brought me much pain but it was the right thing to do and in the end, was not only healthier for me physically and emotionally but for my family as well. They mean more to me than bliss. Now, through hard work and pain, we are great. BUT at the time, I chose the pain over happiness for the great good.

Laurie if I may offer another way to look at this situation in terms of what you mention…I am going to ask some questions, please just take it as an alternate view, as in no way am I trying to change your thoughts on this. We all have to pick what makes sense to us.

When you say “Not every choice I make is intended to bring me happiness or bliss.” … the first thing that pops into my head is “why not?” If you don’t enjoy the exercise you do, pick another form of exercise that you will enjoy. I don’t enjoy going to the gym for example, but it doesn’t mean I don’t stay active. I simply find other more enjoyable ways to stay active. The Universe provides us with so many choices and so many ways to express ourselves. There is beauty in diversity and I believe there is a choice for everyone out there with which they can be really happy or blissful about.

When it comes to “right” and “wrong” Laurie, please believe me when I say I was there. I was brought up in a very religious home and clearly knew what was right and what was wrong. Except then, as I grew up and as I learned more about the world, humanity and history I realized that not only has “right” and “wrong” changed so much over the history of time, but it is so relative. One person may win the lottery and for them it is a blessing and for another a curse. One person may get a serious disease and think it is a disaster, where as another experiences a spiritual awakening because of it and considers it the best thing that ever happened to them.

When it comes to the example you mention about being raped and getting pregnant. If you think that the right thing to do is keep the pregnancy and thus the child, that is still your choice to make that call as being “the right thing to do”. There are many people who feel that being “pro-choice” is the right thing to do. How can we as loving humans make one of us right and saintly, and the other wrong and evil? We should not be here to judge each other’s choices. A loving God doesn’t even judge us, it is the human component of judgment that has been enforced on so many. What is “right” and “wrong” has to be what is right and wrong for YOU, not for society or anyone else. Because as I mentioned for every decision that one thinks is right, there is someone else, who will prove it wrong or vice-versa.

One thing I learned is that if we make decisions because that is what our family, society, government or religion told us is “right” – we will never be truly happy. Most humans when left to their own devices DO choose their highest version. We are after all beings of love. But we cannot judge how we each express that love, for as I mentioned what is right for one person, may be wrong for another.

I would also consider this: let’s say the person who gets raped and pregnant hates their situation but feels it is the “right thing to do” to have the child. Is it really fair for that child to be brought into the world with its beginnings in such a painful environment, where the mother may forever be resentful of the situation, and upset by it, hating it? Looking at that child as a product of a situation that disgusts her? Consciously we may try to love that child, but our subconscious, and much more powerful mind may prove otherwise in our thoughts and actions from then on towards the child.

If one considers the birth of a child a blessing, a gift or miracle, and if one chooses to experience that birth than I would have to say, take on that decision with bliss and joy! Do it because it feels right to you, not because someone in society made you do it or disapproves of our choice (whatever that choice may be).

Laurie, again I value your comment and thoughts so much because they allow all of us here to grow and probe further into a situation that is not a clear cut or easy thing in many ways. But to me, I was “there” – I explored the idea of martyrdom, I explored the decisions and choices of the major world religions, and I thought life was hard, really hard at times in fact. Today however, because I chose to look at things differently (in no way better or worse) just differently, I began to see the world and life differently. Today I don’t think life is hard anymore, and our happiness really can be that easy. But it will only happen if we free ourselves from the confines of others. When we start living life from our highest state, not someone elses, all decisions seem to flow easier. Nothing anymore is a “disaster” or “tragedy” – everything can be a beautiful opportunity that brings out an even higher state of ourselves.

Again this is my view, my truth and what works for me – I have found bliss and if I can inspire or encourage someone to find theirs than I love to help, but I will never push my ideas on someone else. We all have to find peace in our choices, and I respect yours.

@ JAN – Hi Jan and thank you so much for taking the time to read what I have written here. Your feedback and thoughts are very much appreciated.

For a long time in life, I did not realize how much choice we had. I like most people thought that life happens to most of us, in some predetermined way – a way where we really had no control over our circumstances. And then as I learned and grew, it was perhaps the biggest “aha” moment of my life. We do have choice, even if not about a specific situation happening, about how we respond or react to it – exactly as you say. This is also why today I know that no matter, and I do mean no matter what happens I will be okay. Nothing is a tragedy unless I make it.

Thank you again for your comment and many blessings to you as well.

@ SAMI – Hi Sami – that is wonderful to hear. I think for many of us, it will always (in some ways) be a work in progress as life presents us with so many wonderful opportunities to encourage our further growth.

So many blessings, happiness and bliss to you as you continue on your journey!
Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Essential Energy with Cyndi Dale: Beyond the Golden Rule

There are many around the world that are persecuted for their faith. Choosing to not abandon their faith can cost them their freedom or even life, depending on the society they live in. Yet they are choosing persecution because they value their faith more their their happiness.

I agree that much of the time, we can find happiness, even in difficult times. It is more a choice in itself. Attitude is vital, I agree. I just felt it was made to seem too easy here. Sometimes life is really difficult. Sometimes, happiness and bliss must be set aside for a greater good. I don’t agree with “If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.” Exercise doesn’t feel good, yet I do it.

I have to agree Hanlie, no matter what another gives us, it is first and foremost important what we give to ourselves. A spouse can be and say all the right things, but if we don’t hold ourselves to the highest love possible, we actually do not allow that love to come in from them, and hence it seems no matter what they do it fells like “not enough”.

I am so thrilled for you that you have decided to embark on your own journey of healing and self-renewal. I truly believe when we go within, one by one all the external things begin to make sense and life takes on a whole new meaning. I am delighted to share in your journey with you!

@ CATH – Hi Cath – that is such valuable advice! Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

You know for the longest time I felt the same way about relationships and divorces. I too was raised in a family where divorce was just “wrong”. As a young girl, it seemed like one of the worst things that can happen to a person. And then I grew up and learned, and awoke (a lot!) and today I realize that there is no rhyme or reason to judge or prevent someone from being free or fully happy. Yes, we make choices, but people change – we are allowed to do that, we evolve and become new people. And that is okay. This is why a particular home, spouse, job that served us at one point, may not serve our growth or being at another point. I am not for an easy way in or out, just an understanding that we are evolving creatures, and although sometimes our choices are made with the best of intentions – as we change they simply might not serve our growth any longer. Thanks again for your input!

@ BERNIE – Hi Bernie and thank you too so much for coming over to Lance’s site here to share in what I wrote.

I cannot agree with you more about people being “addicted” to pain or drama. I have seen it vividly in a few close people around me for years now, and the “sad” part is there is nothing one can do to change it, until that person decides to change it themselves. The victim role seems to be a popular one in our society.
It is only when we step away from that role, when we break free and realize that there is another way, that we do not have to suffer and that it is much easier to live a happy life, that we begin to really live.

I too have heard of contracts – i.e. the ones we make before we come through in each physical life time and although some aspects of this make sense to me, I was always confused as to what happens when one is done with a lesson or role…and here you explained that beautifully! Thank you Bernie – as always you shed this amazing light of wisdom on yet another topic close to me.

@ JANNIE – Hi Jannie and how wonderful to see you here! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this post of mine.

Letting go does seem hard or scary at times, but I feel it is integral to take on new levels of growth and awareness. We can watch the trees in the fall for a great example, they build up these amazing crowns of beautiful leaves all year, only to let go of them all in the fall. But this is necessary for the new growth in the spring, and so it is with us.

@ BARBARA – Hello Barbara and thank you so much for your wise and loving comment. How beautiful that you taught that to your children and can see the wonderful results being reaped today in yet another generation.

You are so right, when we learn to put some thought in our choices, we can predict the outcome often and very closely. This is where I teach people that conscious words, thoughts and actions make all the difference between an easy life of happiness or pain and struggle. Thank you for sharing that beautiful story!

@ TIM – Hi Tim and so great to “meet” you here! You are so right, we are creatures of habit, so often it is easier to do the same thing that does not serve us, instead of trying a new thing that would serve us better.

Fear as I mentioned has a lot to do with it. But once we get through that fear, and venture into new territory most people realize that they do not have to be tied to a life of pain. We do have choices, and we can exercise them at every moment. We just have to be willing to do so. Thanks again for your comment!
Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Essential Energy: Beyond the Golden Rule

Thanks for this post…it is a great reminder about how much choice we do have despite the feeling that we sometimes don’t have any choice. I also think that we humans are creatures of habit and that we continue with these habits even if they don’t make us happy or are not good for us. Thanks for getting me thinking today and thank you to Lance for introducing me to Evita.
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I love that you brought up “choices”. That was something we taught our kids. All of our choices have a consequence – good or bad. Take your pick. Although we can and do learn from making the wrong ones, we soon find out if we put some thought into our choices, we can almost predict the outcome. Ironically our kids are now teaching our grandchildren the same thing. It warms my heart to see that happening.
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Yes, bliss is always there any time of the day or night. Just a thought away.

I see that some people are addicted to suffering, because through acting out, they get the kind of attention that they think they need to momentarily fill them selves up with. Many people just don’t know what it is like to live outside of a box, so why leave the box or the circle that they have cemented themselves to. Some have even forgotten that anything else exists. Options need to be shown and provided. Firstly, we need to stop responding to an individual’s negative tendencies and to notice and see the spark in an individual and to lure it out into a comfortable and safe environment, thereby opening one’s self up to new world of exploration. People should travel and see the releativity of the world and how there are infinite ways to do something, thereby, loosening up one’s rigid perspective.

For some reason, the idea of contracts came to my mind today, and then you mentioned them here on your post. So I feel compelled to share. It is said that we have a contract that we make before coming to earth. Now to me, I believe that contracts limit the individual, and so I thought why would we have a contract. Well, a contract, is a contraction in the energetic body. It creates blocks and attachments within the physcial world. The blocks even create tensions in our physical bodies and within our minds. So the contract is in actuallity our energy bodies that provides us with a unique perspective upon the world. They are blueprints because the density of the blockages, or the contractions, attract or magnitize certain issues to appear before us. Like attracts Like. Therefore, we get a reflection of our behavior till we get sick from our behaviour, and feel compelled to transcend that behaviour. So the contract is meant to become uncontracted. Therefore, If the general public learns that we can find peace through alleviating personal tensions, we can all begin changing our selves, and therefore the world. We can re-negotiate our contracts by paying attention to that which makes us tense. The tension can be unwound to openness. Soon, there is no more contract to abide, and no rules to follow. All we are left with is an open Heart, and a Soul to feel the Life that is Presented to Us.
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Looking back – my thinking was silly. I left the relationship over 5 years ago. It was hard and I was scared but I’m so much happier now. And I would advise anyone to get out of a situation they’re not happy in. Sometimes the barriers seem higher than they are but it’s much easier once you push through them.

@ HAPPYMAKER – Hello Debbie – Thank you so much and I feel the same as you. Any complaints we make we choose to make them. At every moment we have a choice to change the circumstance or change the way we think about it. Learning is definitely empowering and it is about taking steps towards that, that we free ourselves from the obstacles and fear of not knowing and being stuck in a place where we don’t want to be.

@ EVELYN – Hi Evelyn and thank you so much for the feedback! You bring up a great point about choosing those things in your life….we really all did, and it does not help us to push against them or resist them. There are many things we can do to change our circumstances – at every point we can make a new choice that brings us closer or further away from a state of bliss.

@ JODI – Hi Jodi – Thank you so much for the comment and feedback. Indeed we can get back to a state where we feel the happiest, but yes it does take some conscious effort to realize that we can and make choices according to that. Great to hear from you here Jodi!

@ LANCE – Hello Lance – It is such a pleasure to be here, thank you so much for inviting me and I am honored to be a host on your site this week!

Thank you also so very much for the beautiful words. It is wonderful that you see that in my life indeed Lance, as I really do live that state. Whether in the old days when I used to teach in a classroom or today, I I walk my own talk. In fact today I cannot imagine it any other way. I have been up and down on the roller coaster of life and very early on in my life I decided to get off. I realized that the ups and downs of life, the dramas and the struggles were not for me. I realized and learned that there is another way, a more peace and happiness filled way. Some major awakening had to take place, some major re-arranging of old thoughts and paradigms. Of course this is an ongoing journey and there is still lots to learn, but I love where I am and it just keeps getting better. I feel blessed to live it and it is such a gift and blessing to be able to share it with others. Life can be amazing, and I hope to inspire as many people as I can to see that and live their own life of bliss. I have been “there” and I have been “here” and although there is no one right answer for everyone, for me “here” is definitely better.

I value your friendship a lot and again thank you for having me here and also for sharing with you in your life’s journey!

@ JOY- Hello Joy and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You said it so well when you explained that “comfortable” state. Sometimes I think many people don’t even realize how happy they can be, because they get into that state and think this is as good as it gets. But when we look within, especially at our heart as you say, it tells a different story. How wonderful that you are living out your own state of bliss by exploring the passions of life!

@
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