All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I
learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school
mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things
I learned:Share everything.
Play fair.
Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing
and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and
stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The
roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but
we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the
Styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you
learned–the biggest word of all–LOOK.Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love
and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult
terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world
it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three
o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or
if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the
world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.~ Robert Fulghum
Sunday Thought For The Day
The Feel Good Jungle
photo credit: Kol Tregaskes
“My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass.” ~ Leslie Grimutter
Announcing: A new site!!
The Feel Good Jungle!!
It’s like here, only different. Check it out!
A site dedicated to all things health and fitness — where it’s all about “a journey toward peak health”.
Nothing changes here at the Jungle of Life. This will just segment some of the topics (like training for that marathon…yikes…maybe I should be out there running right now!!)
You are all welcome in the Feel Good Jungle!
Comments are closed.
Life, Reflection, and Cancer
“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you — all of the expectations, all of the beliefs — and becoming who you are.” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen
Today, I would like to introduce Gail Konop Baker. Gail and I crossed paths recently. In that crossing, I experienced both her generous heart and a bit of her “story”. Her story is one of challenge, of hope, and of a realization of what truly matters in life. In her early forties, Gail was diagnosed with breast cancer. From that, she has built herself back up. In that process, and as part of the journals she kept during those days — a book, Cancer Is A Bitch, was written.
As you think about your life, and wherever you are in that…read along as you experience part of Gail’s life. We never know what fully lies in front of us…
1. Tell us a little bit about who “you” are (family, career, any special life experiences you’d like to share, etc.)
Who am I? That is an excellent question and one that I ponder daily. Sometimes hourly. Who I am has evolved and is evolving over time. Constants? I am a mother of three totally kick-ass children, a writer and a passionate and curious seeker. Things that have evolved in the past few years? I am a published author, professional speaker and marathon runner. Things still evolving? I am a yoga teacher-in-training and on a perpetual journey to discover who I want to be.
Lance’s Commentary: My daughter and I were recently in NYC. We saw a sign in Times Square, with those words…“Kick Ass”. She took a picture and made it her phone’s background.…(it didn’t last!!).
2. You have written a book about your battle with cancer. Tell us about that process, and what it has meant for you personally.
I never planned to write a breast cancer memoir. I never planned to get the cancer that would prompt that. But in 2006 after just completing my second novel about a woman who finds a lump in her breast and thinks she might have breast cancer and wonders if she’s lived a meaningful life, I went in for my annual mammogram and was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma in situ and a week later had a lumpectomy.
It rocked my world. Stunned and panicked and paralyzed me. And even after I was told it was non-invasive and they got it all out and I was “cured,” I fell into a funk. I couldn’t write, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything other than Google health sites and make homemade batches of organic facial creams and scribble my deepest rawest craziest most intimate thoughts into a journal.
I never planned to show those words to anyone. In fact I wrote them thinking this was a way I didn’t have to burden my friends and family with my crazy thoughts. Nobody I was close to had ever had cancer. Not my parents. None of my friends. And while I knew they cared, I felt alone in my deepest thoughts and fears. Eventually I wrote those thoughts into an essay that I called “CANCER IS A BITCH” and sent it to some trusted writer friends who said it was the most powerful thing I’d ever written. But lose the word, bitch, they both said. Nobody will ever publish like that.
Honestly, I didn’t know what I had written or what to do with it. But soon after that I read that Literary Mama was looking for columnists and on a whim I pitched it as a column and they offered me a monthly column. The responses from readers were so soulful, I was floored. Many hadn’t even had cancer but they either knew someone who had or just responded to the midlife issues that I wrote about. Issues like what it meant to reach midlife and wonder if this was the life I meant to live, if I was the person I’d always meant to be. Next thing I knew I pitched the idea of writing it into a book to a lit agent and he offered to represent me and sold it.
But what I was writing and thinking about evolved over time. At first I thought I was trying to record my thoughts and feelings as openly and honestly and deeply as possible. But after I started connecting with readers, I discovered the more open I was about all aspects of my life, the more universal my message. People responded to my honesty, which, in turn, inspired me to share more of me.
The other major incident was that a good friend of mine was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and another neighbor with a stage IV brain tumor, both middle-aged. Both were also mothers of children still at home. At that point, my story evolved into a bigger story. I felt this connection to them (even though I was “cured”). And then beyond that a kind of collective grief. I wanted to speak about cancer in order to try to de-stigmatize it. I do believe that cancer is one of the last standing taboos. You say the word and lot of people wince and physically back off. I wanted to give voice to that. To stand in solidarity with those who had been pierced by cancer’s insidious claw.
More than four years have past since my surgery and the whole experience is starting to fade, other than the fact that I wrote a book about it and still speak and talk about it when people ask, and the profound life-altering effect, I have in many ways left the trauma behind and moved on.
Lance’s Commentary: Writing can be therapeutic. As I read your thoughts, I’m reminded of how true this is. Sometimes, a pen and paper can offer so much healing…
3. “Cancer is a Bitch”…the title of your book – gives the first impression that pretty much cancer is a real evil. Could you describe what inspired the title, and what the real meaning behind this book is.
As I said earlier, I originally wrote an essay inspired by the journals and the first line of the essay was “I am sitting topless in the oncologist’s office on Valentine’s Day. Cancer is a Bitch.” I guess I meant that cancer is too forceful, it backs you into a wall, it sits on top of you, crushing your sternum, it doesn’t let you say uncle, it doesn’t back down. At least that’s how hearing those words felt to me initially. I thought the title would be changed before publication, they usually are. It is a little hard to roll off your tongue especially in social gatherings; I cleared an adult table at a Bar Mitzvah once. And of course all my 12 year-old son’s friends wanted a copy of it and I worried social services might come and take me away. But I do think the title captures the sassy, edgy, humorous tone of the book.
The real meaning of the book is that facing my mortality at such a young age forced me into a midlife reckoning with myself and inspired me to take charge of my life. And eventually soar (well, I’m starting to soar). I hope the message people walk away with is that if or when you get smacked down by a bitch (like cancer or divorce, or an accident, or losing a job, or any other unexpected tragedy), go ahead and wallow and go a little nutty and then you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and do and be exactly what you want to do and be. Fewer “whys,” more “why nots.” No excuses. No apologies.
Lance’s Commentary: Gail, this is a powerful example of just how much we value heartfelt honesty. I can’t imagine what it must be like to hear those words…the words spoken to you, telling you that YOU have cancer. Yet, in your sharing of all of this, I think there’s this deeper part of all of us — that of how we connect with caring and honesty.
4. Since writing the book what has this meant for you both personally and professionally?
Professionally? The book launched my writing career. I had been writing for more than 20 years and while I’d had some minor success publishing in small journals and winning some awards, I hadn’t published a book. While on the road promoting it, I discovered I enjoyed speaking to audiences and that launched my public speaking career.
Personally? The scare and promoting the book inspired me to take even better care of myself. Since the scare I have run two half marathons and one full marathon, started my yoga teacher training, detoxed my diet and look and feel better than I did in my thirties. I also detoxed my life. I decided now was the time to live exactly the way I’d always imagined.
Lance’s Commentary: I love that you’ve found good out of this! Cancer is a nasty thing (a bitch, I suppose…). And from this, I get a real sense that it has helped to propel you into some wonderful directions in your life. It’s so good to hear the positive that has come from a very challenging moment in life.
5. Tell us one unexpected thing that has happened since writing your book.
I think discovering what a shameless ham I am in front of audiences really surprised me. Not much intimidates or scares me anymore.
6. Gail, what does a typical day look like for you?
I wake around 6:30 a.m. do 10 minutes of meditation starting with a devotion of gratitude. I then do 10–15 minutes of yoga just to get the bodily juices flowing. Stand on my head to both reverse gravity and get some blood in there. I wake him between meditation and yoga and then go down and let the dogs out and feed them (two yellow labs). Then I squeeze a fresh lemon into a glass of water and make coffee and breakfast, drive my son to school. When I am in focused writing mode (like I have been recently trying to finish up a new book proposal), I try not to get sucked into the internet world that likes to seduce me. Instead, I dive straight into whatever I was working on the previous day, before anything interrupts my brain flow. Two hours minimum. My reward after that is the internet. Facebook is my crack! I answer any pressing e-mails and make a list of practical things I have to do. After that it’s either a run or yoga or on very stressful days, both! Shower and then either more writing or errands or driving the carpool. Or all three! When I am promoting or giving a speech, the day is entirely different. For speaking it’s all about the hair and outfit (kidding… sort of!) and for interviews it’s all about making the same thing I have said many times sound fresh and interesting. I don’t like to rehearse too much for speaking or interviews since I have discovered that I operate better off the cuff.
Lance’s Commentary: I find exercise to be so good, and for much more than the physical benefits that really took me down that road. And — I’m doing my first marathon this year! So…a typical day for me…involves running (kidding…sort of!!). We should have coffee someday!
7. Anything new you have coming up?
Yes, I am working on a new book that I am very excited about. The topic is marriage. It promises to be very juicy and humorous and inspiring (at least that’s what I’m hoping).
Lance’s Commentary: Marriage can definitely have some juicy and humorous moments…this sounds like a GREAT book!
8. Deep down, what makes you uniquely “you”?
I am quirky and curious and very alive. It is hard for me to predict exactly what or whom will turn me on but when I am turned on it’s like high voltage energy gone wild.
Lance’s Commentary: “Energy gone wild”!!! Hey, now that’s a pump me up kind of moment!
Closing Comments: Gail, it’s an honor having you here! Your story is inspiring. As I sit here, never having had cancer…I take this one really important thing from everything you’ve shared today. NOW is important. And am I truly living the life that I desire? We never know when it could all change. Thank you for sharing a bit of YOU here today!
You can keep up with Gail by visiting her website, and following her on Twitter.
UPDATE: Interested in reading Gail’s book? Gail is offering signed copies of “Cancer Is A Bitch”. If you’re interested, please contact Gail, including your name and address.
Sunday Thought For The Day
photo credit: R.O Mania♥
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?”
~ Mary Oliver, The Summer Day
What Does It Start With?
“I can think of no more stirring symbol of man’s humanity to man than a fire engine.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut
Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to have lunch and get to know another Milwaukee blogger, Nate St. Pierre. What Nate has created, though, is much more than a blog. He has really created a movement, based around his website, It Starts With Us.
What is so unique about what Nate is doing, is how It Starts With Us (ISWU) has really become a place to bring people together — from all walks of life and every corner of the globe. Brought together around the simple idea of doing good in our world. And that’s not to say there aren’t a whole lot of opportunities to do that right in our own neighborhoods — as I’m sure there are. This is really about small, easy acts of good (missions) that can be done - with a common connection to people from all over the world!
Please join me as I ask Nate some questions about what has brought him to this place he’s at today.
1. Tell us a little bit about who “you” are (family, career, any special life experiences you’d like to share, etc.)
I laughed when I saw the word “career” in the question. I don’t think I’ve ever had a career as most people would define it. I started out as a janitor at age 14, then during high school and college I worked as a civilian hire for the Air Force. I went to college on academic scholarship to study molecular genetics and organic chemistry, then dropped out of school to go work at a fish cannery in Alaska. When I came back from there, I did some freelance technical writing and desktop publishing. During the dot-com bubble I taught myself basic web design and built a topic-specific search engine directory, which I ran for a while and then sold. From there I moved into land title insurance for a little bit, and then I became a web developer for a big company. After doing that for a while, I became the web team leader and ran that show for a couple of years, until I decided to quit and focus on ItStartsWith.Us full-time. Instead of having a solid career to back me up, I feel that I have a variety of different experiences to draw from, each of which has allowed me to develop a different skill set and perspective on life. I can’t say that I’ll run ItStartsWith.Us forever, but I can tell you that it’s the first job I’ve ever truly loved.
Lance’s Commentary: The experience at the fish cannery in Alaska has to have some pretty interesting memories! And…I think you have really hit upon an important thing: Our life is not just about our career, it’s really about our life experiences and the people we’ve met along the way. Keep on really living life, my friend!
2. What led to the creation of the It Starts With Us website?
I was attending a week-long leadership training course for my job in November of 2008, and one of the sessions focused on completing self-assessment exercises. “What are your skills, talents and interests, what do you enjoy doing, etc.” — that kind of thing. After writing all that down, the idea was that you should try to do something in your life that would speak to those qualities. With that in mind, the instructions were to write for 20 minutes based on the question presented on the next page. When I turned to the page, I saw that it was blank, except for the phrase, “Next year, I will … ” at the top. I scribbled furiously for 20 minutes, and when I was done, I looked back to see what I had written. Today I don’t remember anything about that page except what I wrote for the first line: “Next year, I will change the world.”
I thought about what that meant for a few months, and realized that I could never do very much on my own. But I thought that if I could build a system that would enable people to participate quickly and easily, feel like part of a team, have fun, not pay a dime, and actually see the life-changing results of their work, then they would engage with the project. And with so many people engaging, we literally could change the world.
Lance’s Commentary: Nate, what you have created with the It Starts With Us movement is incredibly soul-touching. You ARE changing the world — in some amazing ways!
3. Nate, when I think about your site, I think about how I can personally make a difference in the world – and how your site helps facilitate a way to do that. Am I close to what you see your mission as?
Indeed. The vision of ItStartsWith.Us is to change the world. The mission — the way we do that — is to make a positive impact in the lives of the people around us … in just 15 minutes a week. Anyone and everyone can give 15 minutes a week towards helping out their neighbor, loving their family, working on their attitude, or joining us in one of our shared missions, like writing a letter to a sick child or dropping a Love Bomb on someone in need. When I assign the weekly missions, I try to make them small enough to be attainable, but big enough to make a measurable difference in someone else’s life, and also your own.
Lance’s Commentary: What’s so great about this is the minimal time commitment that is really necessary to be a part of this. Anyone can do it!! And — the whole collective of this is so powerful!
4. Tell us about the weekly missions, and how they have impacted you personally.
I like to think of the weekly missions as a gentle reminder to keep our eyes open to the good we can do in this world as we walk through life. There’s no pressure to do them or not — nobody’s keeping score. It’s very easy to delete the email or unsubscribe from the list altogether. We’ve been running missions for right around a year now, and I’ve done every single one I’ve assigned. And you know what? It was hard for me. It made me stretch a little bit. I’m a huge introvert, and I’m not the friendliest person (my family and friends can attest to that). But doing these missions each week has opened my eyes to so many things I can do better in this life. I’ve found so many ways to make a difference for others, even if it’s just as simple as a friendly smile, a quick chat on the street, or a small offer of help. And the surprising thing is, as much as the people I serve appreciate the little things I do, I’m the one who gets the biggest benefit. My outlook on life is better. My attitude is more positive. My days are more joyful. It’s really been amazing, and it seems the old adage is true — when you serve others, you really do get back more than you give.
Lance’s Commentary: I’ve been a member since our lunch meeting back in late winter of this year. While I haven’t done every mission, I have done most of them. And that’s the thing. Some weeks we get busy, can’t get to every email that comes in, etc, etc. And that’s what works here. I do this when I can. And it’s a win-win when I do. Someone benefits from whatever “kindness” is being put out there this week. That’s not nearly it, though — I come away from all of this a better person, and am touched by each one of these missions that I participate in!
5. Tell us one unexpected thing that has happened to you in the last year.
I think the most unexpected thing is what I mentioned just above — that I was changed as a result of this project. I began it because I believed in the idea and thought I could bring a lot of people together for the common good, but I was totally amazed by the way it transformed me right from the beginning.
Lance’s Commentary: I love this!! When we transform ourselves in amazing ways, what a great place to be!
6. If you had to pick one thing as your greatest achievement, what would it be (and why)?
With this project, or with life? Hmm. I’ll pick the “with this project” option, because it’s easier. With this project I’m most proud of the fact that we’ve been able to make such a difference for so many people. We started out with 18 members a year ago, and today we have over 2,000 members in dozens of countries. In just one year we’ve been able to get to the point where we’re now pumping hundreds of hours of community service into the world each week in an organized, directed and effective way. And we’ve been able to do it with no funding — just a desire to make a difference. I wish I could share all the notes, calls and emails I receive on a weekly basis about what the team has done — we truly do touch hearts and change lives. It’s incredible to be a part of that.
Lance’s Commentary: Hundreds of hours.…fifteen minutes at a time!! How cool is that!!
7. Anything new you have coming up?
Dude, I always have something new coming up. 
Right now I’m working with a couple of people on two spin-off sites: Love Bomb and Love Drop. The Love Bomb subgroup is already very active, so we’re going to turn that into a standalone project to better focus the efforts of those members. Love Drop will be a true 501©3 charitable organization centered around the micro-giving concept, where interested people join the group and donate either $1.00 or $5.00 a month, and at the end of each month we ask our members if they know of anyone who could use some financial help, and then we’ll direct virtually all of that money to the chosen recipient. I try to keep the main ItStartsWith.Us team away from any monetary giving, so this will give interested parties the opportunity to give back financially.
The biggest thing I’m working on right now, however, is the business offering of the project. Last month I quit my job to focus on ISWU full-time (putting 30 hours a week into the project on top of my full-time job for the last year was getting a bit rough). I’m now working with large organizations and businesses to utilize the ISWU model to mobilize their members to give back in a fun, free and effective way. I’ve custom-built all the tools necessary for businesses to adopt this model and have the same kind of success that we’re having, and I’m doing personal consulting to help them implement the system and make a real impact with it. Even better, when these organizations contract with me to adopt the ISWU platform, they also become part of the leadership network I’ve formed, and part of our quarterly initiatives … which will be huge missions consisting of people from different companies and groups all over the world, where we all work together to do something for one person, one family, or one organization … all at the same time. Imagine all of us coming together to grant a wish for a child in the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which is one of the places I’m going be looking to partner with. The world has never seen the kind of things we’re going to be able to accomplish this year. It’s going to make a huge difference — and be a lot of fun at the same time.
Lance’s Commentary: I’ve been a part of the Love Bomb group for several weeks. What a moving experience, to be able to offer some words of encouragement and love to one person who has a lot they are dealing with. And — how awesome that you are able to focus on ISWU full-time! The whole idea of taking this into business, too, makes so much sense: what a great way to unite a common group of people around a common cause!
8. Deep down, what makes you uniquely “you”?
Had to end with a tough one, didn’t you? Hmm. Okay, how about this? I’m a business-minded idealist. Meaning, I have the values, passion, dedication and drive of someone who wants to change the world, but I’m doing it in such a way that it makes sense to those with the money and power to help make it happen. I talk to executives about how adopting the ISWU platform will help with employee engagement, recruitment and retention, and about how the real-world results they get with their group will be worth much more in positive brand-building than what they’re currently spending from their advertising and PR budgets. I show them how being a part of this network affects their bottom line and is actually profitable for them, and then when they join, I fly out to their headquarters and show them how to run their own group that touches hearts and changes lives. Yep. Just like what we’re doing now. And since I give them all the tools and all the expertise they need for a very reasonable price, ISWU becomes a self-sustainable business … in the business of changing the world.
So that’s how I feel I’m unique — I’m someone who believes that absolutely everyone is in a position to do amazing things for the common good. Passionate individuals, small companies, global brands, non-profits, educational organizations, celebrities, regular folk … as long as we work together in an organized, effective and sustainable way, we’ll be able to do things that have never been done before. It is certainly possible. In fact, it’s even easier than you think. And I’m excited about getting it done.
Lance’s Commentary: Hey, I can’t make all of these easy!! You are creating something that is very special and meaningful for everyone involved. That, coupled with the new directions you have planned — and you are indeed changing the world…in very life-connecting ways!
Closing Comments: Nate, as I read that quote by Kurt Vonnegut up above…you ARE the fire engine! And all these people signing up to be a part of the team become the water. Wow!! From this…WE are all changing the world! Your creation of It Starts With Us is the catalyst for bringing together people to collectively make a big difference in our world, one step at a time! I am honored to be part of this amazing movement!
You can keep up with Nate and the It Starts With Us movement by visiting his website, following him on Twitter, and subscribing to his Facebook page.
Sunday Thought For The Day
The Rebel’s Manifesto is the creation of Keri Smith, from the Wish Jar.
And Why Do We Laugh?
“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” ~ Victor Hugo
Do you ever have one of those moments where you maybe question if something is the right thing to do?
You hear what your heart is saying, and yet — it can still feel like you’re putting yourself out there. Or maybe it feels like “will this be weird?”. Perhaps it costs too much. Or a million other excuses. Does this ever happen to you?
It happens to me.
Sometimes I fight it, and I DON’T do what sings and dances in my heart. (have you ever been there?)
Sometimes, though.…sometimes.…
I really listen to that voice that speaks deeply from my heart.
Fly halfway across the country (New York City). Get hotel. To laugh.
Couldn’t I just step outside my backdoor, and do the same thing?
In reality, it was much more than that.
It was a wonderful opportunity to connect up with sweet friends from here at the Jungle (Hi Amy! Hi Katie! Hi Ina!). Make new friends (Hi EVERYONE!). And…perhaps the best of all…precious time with my daughter (who, for the record, is growing up way too fast).
Be a part of this moment. The Levity Project — NYC. And a celebration of World Laughter Day.
It was all right, and it was all good.
Except there was this little thing. Or maybe it wasn’t little at all.
Picture this: My daughter and I exploring the sights and sounds of this great city (read: shopping). Now, picture this: bomb threat in Times Square. And we are there.
Well, not as this threat was discovered. We wandered into the Time Square area a couple of hours after the initial discovery of this. For a thirteen year old girl, hearing the words “bomb threat” set off feelings of alarm. (and why didn’t I feel that way? Have I become indifferent to all the “noise” out there?)
Laughter event planned for the very next morning.
Including in a visit to that very spot of the bomb threat.
Would laughter feel trivial in the face of what had just happened?
Or.
Or, would laughter heal?
Laughter for no reason at all, except to bring an extra sense of peace and joy to the world (or — at least the people around us).
Note: If you are having trouble viewing this, please click here.
Laughter as the balm for our souls.
And we laughed.
Some who looked the other way…pretending we weren’t there. Strange looks.
And we laughed.
And there was joy. Energy. Smiles. Giggles. Belly laughs. Excitement.
And for a moment, there was this real sense that the strangers passing in that day were more than strangers. They were united as part of humankind.
Brothers and sisters of this species we call human.
Perhaps that moment lasted no longer than a few minutes that we were together. Or perhaps…some of those took that feeling that had touched them…took that with them through their day. Or maybe even beyond.
It was good. Meaningful. And the right thing on that day, in that moment, and at that place.
Laugh!
For no reason at all! And feel your soul smiling back at you…
Sunday Thought For The Day
photo credit: kool_skatkat
“I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame of that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other.” ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
A special celebration of love for all, and as we celebrate Mother’s Day, may all mother’s in our world feel that love and appreciation!
RAOKA: Family
Family
“Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.” ~ Author Unknown
Preface: Random Acts of Kick Arse is a movement to bring more of {monthly theme} into our lives, and the lives of those around us.
April Theme: Family. Find ways to incorporate the concept of family into daily life.
The Lowdown: Guess who’s the “nut” in the picture up above???? (maybe I shouldn’t ask that!!!)
Family: As I think about this, the first thing that’s there is my immediate family. Those people I live with. My wife, Lora. Our three kids — Jakob, Rebekah, and Cameron. (Bekah is the one up above with me, as we debate the finer qualities of M&M’s!) These people mean the world to me! Do I always remember that? Are there moments when I get too attached to an outcome, and forget the person? Sure. And perhaps we all do this, at times. So, it’s all part of that journey we are on. And we learn as we go…
“The family — that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” ~ Dodie Smith
Today, as I think back over the last month — I am reminded of many shining moments of family.
Jakob on the Hunt for Easter Eggs! (and with family love, life’s basket is overflowing)
Cameron on the Run! (fun and games make for great family moments!)
Bekah and I at the Rockefeller Center (wonderful family memories put us on top of the world!)
Family is a pretty sweet thing. So, I think about these people I live with, these people that are family. And really — the more extended family, too. Parents. Siblings. Aunts and uncles. Cousins. Nephews. Nieces. Family can become a pretty big and extended clan, and a group of people who love us — just because we are part of that family. And that IS a very special thing.
There is also another family, too. Our “family” that may not necessarily be related to us — yet still holds special meaning in our hearts. Friends, who are there for us. Today, I would like to acknowledge each one of you — you are part of this Jungle of Life family, and that also means the world to me!! You bring your good thoughts, your care, and your YOU here to this place. I’m honored to have you here in this space. And you are each, indeed, a part of this “family”.
In any family there are moments of beautiful goodness, and moments of real heartache. On February 25th, this Jungle of Life family experienced some of that heartache, losing a very special person, Amy Pratt. There was much sadness in all of this, and of life that ended all too soon. Yet, from that there has also come good. Since that time, I have been honored to develop a closer friendship with Amy’s mother, Jeanne. Recently, Jeanne sent our family a wonderful reminder of Amy. A doll, specially made, with angel wings, and a small piece of Amy — something near and dear to her heart — a small doll necklace of seaglass. In honor of Amy, we have created a new garden in our backyard — we call it our Garden of Life. Life everlasting…
The seeds we sow…the seeds of life…create the “family” we have.
I am honored to be a part of a family that shines love out into the world. That is the family I live with, the family I am related to, and YOU.
Thank YOU, each one of you, for being “family” here in this jungle of life! I am honored to have each of you as a part of me.
We are indeed all one…
What is Random Acts of Kick Arse (RAOKA)? With the idea that there are so many ways we can do small things to change the world for good, Sami, from Life, Laughs, and Lemmings took an idea she had and created this movement. The movement: A new theme to focus on each month, bringing a little more good to the world. The movement started in October 2009, and has a core group of participants:
Lori from Jane Be Nimble
Gayze from Gazehound’s Animal Communication
Zeenat from Positive Provocations
Each month a topic will be chosen to focus on, and then at the start of the next month, the participants will write about their experiences from the previous month.
Interested in joining the movement? Contact Lori for details.
May Theme: Serenity (as chosen by Zeenat)
Logo courtesy of Melissa from Operation NICE
I Am NOT An Abomination
I have a special guest visiting today. Vanessa, from VanessaLeigh, is here and sharing a deeply personal part of her own life journey.
I approached Vanessa about sharing this part of her journey, and what love means to her, knowing fully that this is a subject that can sometimes be a challenging discussion.
Love.
And I wonder, who are we to judge another? Who are we to think we have all the answers? Who are we to question the deep longings and beautiful connections of two souls brought together?
So, it is with my deep gratitude that I share with you Vanessa, who she is, and what love is. And, as I read this, I can only believe that my place is not one to judge another because they are somehow different from me. In fact, as I think about this more deeply, are we not all different? And are there not things in our heart that would speak love even more beautifully if we lived that place with even more compassion and care?
Vanessa, thank you for so openly sharing, and for speaking the truth in your heart. You are a shining and beautiful soul, and it is an honor to have you here.
I Am NOT An Abomination
“We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved.” ~ Anonymous
I feel compelled to write about this due to the strong feelings associated with this topic: HOMOSEXUALITY. I don’t get angry about the topic much anymore, as much as become determined, almost indignant, on needing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this. And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homosexuality is as natural in humanity as heterosexuality, even if I were not a lesbian. But I am a lesbian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.
Now, I am not writing this post as a testament to what science is proving in terms of sexual orientation and genetics. I am not writing this post as a way to quote passages of Scripture, to defend why they are misinterpreted. I am writing this from a feeling, human perspective. It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the personal perspective to the table, which is not always considered when the various sides of this issue take their positions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.
I feel firmly confident in the fact that God has created me, as well as millions of other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be. I would, and do, believe that regardless if science seemed to indicate that there are genetic differences or not, that God meant for this to be. I feel fully connected to God and to my spirituality, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay. I am a kind, generous human being, I give willingly to others, I try to be fair and not wasteful, and I have a committed, lifelong partner whom I am devoted to. We are raising a well adjusted, beautiful daughter and doing a fine job. God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.
This is usually where the conversation goes to the area of “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of statements, referring to being gay as being a “choice” or “lifestyle”, and that we are “giving in” to “sinful urges” without restraint. While I will not be discussing my own sexual behavior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sexual orientation, or in my case, being a lesbian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sexual behavior, sexual activity, sexual intimacy. Yes, that is part of it in most of the couple relationships that I am acquainted with, as in most committed relationships. That is PART of what connects two persons to one another. But, think about it for a minute: when you meet someone that you know may be a significant person to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attraction? Some of us have had the experience of being attracted to a person physically or sexually only, with nothing else much there. That has not been my typical experience, and that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about falling in love, being attracted to a person on all levels: physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, soulfully, prayerfully — the heart to heart connection that comes with those that we fall in love with madly. THAT is what orientation is about. If I were to describe a heterosexual orientation as only about sex, or sexual attraction or intimacy, I would be diminishing it and leaving out so much else that describes and defines a couple relationship.
And, just as there are messed up persons in this world who are heterosexual, married or not, so is the case in the homosexual world as well. Not much difference there. However, there are many of us that are monogamous, in committed, long term relationships, who are not unfaithful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God willing. Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do intimately if we were allowed to be married? If that were to sanction our committed relationship, then really, who would care how we conduct ourselves? And, for those that think that the institution of marriage will be ultimately destroyed, and the foundation of our society shattered if homosexual persons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that marriage could use some help these days? I mean, the most recent statistic is that almost half, if not half, of marriages end in divorce? How can we worsen those types of numbers? Isn’t it remotely possible that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?
I know some people, many people actually, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in households and communities and churches, that told them that being a homosexual was against God, unnatural, and an abomination, and who believed it for much of their lives. Some of those same people have had changes of hearts and minds over their lifetime, by realizing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist. I am so grateful for those persons in my life. I am so glad to know that instead of bringing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appreciation, compassion and joy at who I genuinely am.
I am gay, I am worthy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.
UPDATE: The conversation on this continues, as Evita, from Evolving Beings, discusses Expanding Our Evolving Views of Homosexuality.
Special note: I am deeply grateful to Vanessa for sharing as openly as she has here, and for Evita beautifully sharing her compassionate views on sexual orientation. It is with these conversations, that continued love and understanding can be more openly expressed in all aspects of our lives. Thank you, both of you, for being light and love in this world.
