3 Common Mistakes That Can Stop You From Using Your Shyness to Your Advantage

by Guest Author on · 1 comment

This world is a beautiful place to be in when you know how to use the way you are to your advantage. Being shy (timid, introvert) is no different. It gives you many qualities that other types of personality wouldn’t give you.

I am a shy person and to be honest, I like it. I don’t see anything wrong with it, on the contrary, it gave me the foundation to be who I am now and helps me to become better for the future.

Today, allow me to reveal to you 3 common mistakes shy people tend to make that stops them to take advantage of being shy; and later, discover the benefits of being shy and a few ideas of how to use them to your advantage.

1. Trying to be somebody else.

The world needs you. You as you are. You as a shy person.

Why? Because you are a great asset for those around you. Would you tell your secrets to an extrovert? Probably not. Would you find modesty in an extrovert? Probably not. Would you search for calm and serenity alongside an extrovert? Probably not.

That is not to say that is something wrong with being an extrovert. Far, far from it; it means that all of us, each person part of the big collective that is the human race, serves a purpose, serves a different function. We are completing each other in such amazing and wonderful ways.

For example: if you are the confidant for an extrovert, in return this person probably is helping you to get introduced in the circles you want to be.

2. Judging yourself too harshly.

Shy people tend to be sensitive to details. Plus, they have the affinity to make statistics, to notice patterns and anticipate consequences. Therefore, if you are a shy person, you are prone to judge yourself too harshly because you are that person that misses nothing, no gestures, no comments, no actions and sometimes, not even simple thoughts.

However, judging yourself is not modifying your behavior in positive, and it is deterring you from being the great person you, actually are. You already are a reserved person, you already approach things and people with caution, there is no need for you to do even more. Is it?

Let me tell you this: people around you don’t see, don’t notice, don’t know, exactly what you know, see and notice.

No matter who we are or how we are, we are aware, only about what is in our mind. We often get self-absorbed, and what you might consider a big offense or mistake you’ve done, most probably goes unnoticed by others.

Free yourself from judgment and use that space and time to improve what you believe you might lack in.

3. Underestimating your value and overestimating the value of other people.

It is true that being shy can give you many benefits, yet you need to pay attention that, if you try too much to be someone else, and adding judgment toward self on top of that, can make you end up with low self-esteem. Being shy is not a problem, is not taking your power to be successful and fulfilled, but having low self-esteem can. Having low self-esteem is an issue that you need to address.

Yes, you want to keep your modesty. However, there is a difference between being modest and downplaying your value. Take credit for what you’re doing right and assume the responsibilities that are coming from your merits. Understand your value because only in this way you can use your potential, talents and knowledge to your advantage and for the benefit of others.

Now, let’s talk about the benefits that being shy can offer you.

The power of the observer.

Did you know that wisdom comes more from observation rather than knowledge or practice? And observation is one of the benefits of being shy.

If you are shy, you are a good observer. You notice, and you pay attention to many things that most people don’t. Therefore, you have the awareness and a better understanding of what is happening around you.

Excellent listening skills.

Being a good listener doesn’t come naturally to most people, yet you are a naturally born listener. That means that you already have a great foundation to build on your communication, influence and assertiveness skills. Plus, it comes easier to you to empathize and sympathize with others. Compassion is your middle name, and people are drawn to you for your calming effect. They are open and relaxed in your presence which means you get the chance to know them better and in time, you become a good character judge.

Taking the time to think before speaking.

Rarely happens to a shy person to have that monumental discourse that some other people regret even before finishing it because shy people think before speaking.

Most probably you are analyzing and evaluating the effects, the consequences, and effectiveness of what you are saying before letting the words out. Are you not?

Self-reliant and independent.

A shy person knows how to entertain her/himself and how to solve his/hers situations and problems. How? Using creative thinking and a lot of caution.

Shy people are forced, by their nature to think outside of the box, to find new ways of doing things and as a consequence, they are creative and flexible.


Carmen Jacob is the creator of several personal development programs, courses, and books, which focus on using what you already have to improve your life and the life of those around you.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Maria Collins January 10, 2017 at 7:47 am

As a shy person, all I have to say is thank you for the elucidating article posted. I’ve shown it to everyone in the house so now they can stop telling me I should try to be more outgoing. Thank you for the blog Lance, and can you tell me who the guest writer is?

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