Acceptance And A Pair of Tiny Black Underwear

by Lance Ekum on · 67 comments

Disclaimer:  That is not my tiny black underwear!  (unless that is fashionable?)

Today it is an honor to have Megan Bord, from It's All About Joy, here to share a fun story.  Megan is a wonderful and caring friend, and someone whose words always touch upon a deeper spot in my heart.  Ever since Megan and I crossed paths, I have just really sensed this deeper heart connection to love and joy.  As I have talked more with her, I know this is much more than just a sense…it is truly a part of her core.  Megan radiates life, love, and inner joy in very beautiful ways. 

Read along, as Megan shares a recent personal experience, and how that all relates to each of our own unique quirks…

Acceptance And A Pair of Tiny Black Underwear

 

“As quirky as we are – and we’re all pretty quirky – you will find you don’t need anyone else’s approval for how you live your life. You aren’t dependent on anyone else’s opinion of your clothes, hair, weight, demeanor. In return, you are less judgmental of everyone else. Your capacity to simply accept everyone as they are grows.” Geri Larkin, The Chocolate Cake Sutra

As a recovering perfectionist (aka, an incredibly fearful person), when I first read the paragraph above, I loved it. As recently as a few years ago, though, had I read that same paragraph, I wouldn’t have understood it.  

Let me set the stage a bit better: I’m the girl who used to put on lipstick and earrings to go for a run. I’m the one who, as a kid, took two hours to do her hair… for school. I think I singlehandedly supported the hairspray industry from 1985 – 2000. And for God’s sake, don’t touch my hair! (Sheesh) I’m the one who always carried a little mirror with her in the event that one suspected they hade something stuck in their teeth or nose, and I’m also the friend who would tell others if that was the case.

To say I was a fuss budget doesn’t quite do it justice, but it’s a start.

I cared what other people thought of me. I cared so much that at times I let it rule my thoughts and affect my actions. I wanted to feel safe and secure, and was convinced that validation came from the outside.

These days, I’m a bit wiser. I recognize that the only person’s opinion that truly matters – the one I need to be able to live with at the end of each day – is my own. And the older I get and the more I open my mind and heart to the world around me, the easier self-acceptance becomes. It’s such a beautiful two-way street, too. The less I judge myself, the less I judge others. And the more I view others with compassionate, loving eyes, the easier it is to view myself that way, too.

Huzzah!

And that leads to stories like the one I encountered the other day, which, had it happened ten years ago, would have mortified me. Now, though, it just makes me laugh.

Here’s what happened: After spending three hours out and about, I returned home and decided to change into my most comfortable pajamas. As I took off my pants, I noticed that a pair of tiny black underwear had fallen to the floor. I thought, “That’s odd. I’m not wearing black underwear today.” After a few seconds of sizing up what might have happened, I realized that while I may not have thought I was wearing black underwear that day, static cling being what it is (God’s substitute for duct tape), there was a good chance those tiny panties had been wearing me! Lord only knows who saw them stuck to whatever part of my pants they decided to make as their home as I trounced here, there and everywhere. Gracious, can you even imagine?!

Ah, but our own quirks and imperfections are what make it easier for us to relate to the quirks and imperfections in others. And as I accept my flaws, black underwear and all, I find it infinitely easier to embrace yours. I don’t know about you, but to me that feels like such a beautiful, joyful and connective way to live!

You can keep up with Megan by subscribing to It's All About Joy,  and following her on Twitter.

Lance writes stories from his heart, aiming to inspire and motivate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he's not here, you can find him hanging out with his family, riding a bike, or just generally acting goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Treehouse newsletter and get additional inspiration in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
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{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather Villa February 10, 2010 at 4:22 am

That’s one of the benefits of getting older – liberation. You finally start to see the real important things in life. And it’s not how perfect my hair is. lol It’s nice to not be so uptight anymore or to sweat the little things. Thanks for sharing your story.
.-= Heather Villa´s Last Fabulous Post ..Weekend Reading: My fav’s from this week: 2/5/10 =-.

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Lynn February 10, 2010 at 4:26 am

It is wonderful that we are all so different. I love the black panties story – and it took a long time, but I accept my flaws. Thank you for the morning chuckle – I wore a Bounce sheet for hours one day. 🙂
.-= Lynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Dressed to fit, nothing but a hug and big hair =-.

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Jay Schryer February 10, 2010 at 5:28 am

That’s hilarious, Megan!

But kudos for you for reaching the stage of enlightenment where you can laugh at life’s little quirks that come along. So many people never get to that point. As always, you’re an inspiration to all of us. Thanks for being so awesome!
.-= Jay Schryer´s Last Fabulous Post ..The P.I.T.A. Scale, and How it Will Change Your Life =-.

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Jannie Funster February 10, 2010 at 5:38 am

Megan is a sweet shining star whom I can’t imagine the blogosphere without! She’s funny (actually hilarious!) insightful and lives up to her joyful name! Every time I see her shining gravatar on my blog my heart lights up.

Now what was the question? Oh yes, flaws and fears. Flaws I embrace. Fears I listen to, then tell to take a hike.

You guys are so great!!!

xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Who Dat, Who Dat Birthday Boy? =-.

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Evelyn Lim February 10, 2010 at 5:58 am

Megan,

Oh my gosh…I would never have guessed!! Thanks for sharing about how you were like when you were much younger. I am glad to know that you’ve come a long way since then. You look gorgeous by the way. I seriously doubt you need so much make-up and hairspray.
.-= Evelyn Lim´s Last Fabulous Post ..Create a Feng Shui Wealth Vision Board =-.

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Peggy February 10, 2010 at 6:03 am

Hi Megan and Lance!

I love this! I can relate, because as a recovering perfectionist, I too have learned to accept my flaws, my quirks, and the day that I walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck on my shoe. My co-workers and I had a good laugh at that one 🙂

xo
Peggy
.-= Peggy´s Last Fabulous Post ..Procrastination Purgatory or Something Else? =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 10, 2010 at 6:48 am

Hi, Heather!

I do wonder how much age has to do with softening us, versus aggressive self-development. Gosh, could I have saved myself years of perfectionist enslavement if I’d only worked harder at it?!! (Wait, that’s the perfectionist in me writing… Don’t answer that!)
I was so glad to read your comment, and find kindred spirits on Lance’s blog. Thank you!

Hi, Lynn!

Our differences are what unite us in a way. I’m so happy to read that you accept your flaws, Bounce sheets and all! Now THAT would have been fun to witness. God bless the laundry… It makes us both presentable and laughable all at once some days. Thank you for your comment!

Hi, Jay!

If you’d known me when I was a teenager or even in my early 20’s, you’d probably be convinced I never would have reached this point of acceptance. I still have my “stuff,” but it’s a whole lot smaller and less noticeable than it used to be. (smile) And no, no, my friend — thank YOU for being awesome. Your comments always make me shine!

Hi, Jannie!

I feel like Judy Garland: “A Star is Born!” Thank you! Me, hilarious? No… That’s a title that’s reserved for you. I do my best, but have a ways to go.
I think every young girl should be given a crash course in how to wholeheartedly accept her flaws, and how to laugh in the face of fear. That course would have done me worlds more of good than Economics ever did! Thank you for your beautiful energy, Jannie!

Hi, Evelyn!

Oh boy, let’s hope my mom doesn’t read this post and share all the many ways in which I probably drove her CRAZY with my perfectionist tendencies. Gracious, you’re too kind, Evelyn, and I so appreciate your goodness. Have a beautiful day, and thank you for commenting!

Hi, Peggy!

Toilet paper — that’s the ONE thing I scan for as I leave bathroom stalls. Well, that and making sure my zipper is all the way up. I’ve seen too many cases out in public with stray toilet paper making its getaway (even told a woman in the grocery store once that she had some on her shoe; she nearly hugged me). I love that I’m in such good company. I could imagine spending an entire night with a couple bottles of wine and our most embarrassing recovering perfectionist stories to keep us entertained!
Thanks for your great comment!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Tess The Bold Life February 10, 2010 at 8:02 am

Megan,

I love perfectionists because I’m the opposite. 3 out of 4 of my daughters are perfectionists like their father;). I’ve had to embrace, “Tess The Mess.” My granddaughter is a perfectionist and tactile sensitive meaning the tag on her shirt will bug her (her brain gets hooked on it) so she has them cut off. I, on the other hand, would meet you for a run with my shirt inside out and not notice! Then if you mentioned it I laugh and say, “who cares,” I wouldn’t bother changing it. (This to this day drives my kids crazy)! Can we all please meet somewhere in the middle?!?
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s Last Fabulous Post ..Born To Run =-.

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Hilary February 10, 2010 at 8:04 am

Hi Lance and Megan .. I first thought they were Lance’s panties .. displayed erroneous somewhere and I thought oh oh where is this going .. then I spotted Megan you were here too – so there was more to tell. Great story .. far too many disasters in that area .. I’ve learnt to go up to people and say .. I think you need to deal with this – but for many years I’d just leave them to sort it out (or some kind soul to tell them) – when I was in my perfectionist mode, and far too wound up to offer my time and assistance ..

I’d have loved to be where I am now and not as now 40 years on – but better late than never. Mum and I have some toilet stories that we have hysterics about .. good belly laughs for a bed-ridden lady – they were funny .. too terrible to reprint .. in company one day!

Megan’s great ideas for a recovering perfectionist stories .. love that idea .. but the wine at lunchtime too much – would have a serious one to add to the list .. enjoy your weeks – Hilary
PS love the title .. Underwear in the Jungle!
.-= Hilary´s Last Fabulous Post ..Rhinoceros chase – or how about a little rolling over with Hippopotami? =-.

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Audra Krell February 10, 2010 at 8:17 am

Thanks for sharing your joy Megan! It’s always fun to read about what you’ve been up to and especially about what you are learning. I think we’ve really arrived somewhere when we can laugh at ourselves and when we don’t care that others just might be laughing at us!
.-= Audra Krell´s Last Fabulous Post ..Pure Pleasure =-.

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Katie West/The Levity Coach February 10, 2010 at 8:24 am

Ha Ha What Fabulousness…….wish I could have been there for your little black underwear moment so we could have rolled on the floor laughing…. It can be so hard to do but laughter is what always gets me over myself….like telling my ego to “get real, dude!”
You rock Megan..I think you are a shining star. Thank you for being so real, so you, and present in this world. When I think about how some people feel that you can’t get to know someone in the “virtual” world, I think about you and your authenticity. You keep it all real and in that way are an example for all of us.
.-= Katie West/The Levity Coach´s Last Fabulous Post ..Be the Agent of Change You Already Are =-.

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Evita February 10, 2010 at 9:02 am

LOL Megan – that is hilarious! I love it!

And you know what an amazing message, about self acceptance and losing the judgment. It is so true, especially for us as girls, a lot of us are made to feel that we have to look perfect all the time (God only knows what that perfect is). Anyway, I saw directly and indirectly how much that can really tamper with a person’s self worth and self love during the growing up years. Today like you, it feels good to be me! To really be comfortable being how and who I want to be, without society dictating how I should dress, or look or whatever the case may be!

And Lance, ha ha – glad those tiny black undies weren’t yours 😉
.-= Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Moving Beyond the Holy Day to Holiness and Wholeness Now =-.

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Hanlie February 10, 2010 at 9:53 am

You had me at the first paragraph. Perfectionism = fear? It all makes sense to me now. I also find myself much less worried about looking perfect when I leave the house as I get older.

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Jodi at Joy Discovered February 10, 2010 at 9:57 am

Hi Megan!
I love your humor and grace throughout this story!
Hugs to you! Jodi
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s Last Fabulous Post ..Off the Shelf: Blink by Malcolm Gladwell =-.

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Michelle @ Following Your Joy February 10, 2010 at 11:32 am

Thanks, Megan–hilarious!!!

Isn’t it AWESOME to be in a place where you just don’t care anymore? It’s all about surrender and acceptance. I appreciate you sharing the laugh with us!

I recently got up the nerve to try something that I’ve wanted to do for years…but was too afraid of what I might “look” like: I tried karaoke! It was liberating, freeing, and fun. And I was so proud of myself for not apologizing for my goofy voice. I let it be and I had fun with it.

Glad we can share in the fun ot life together. And you are right–life IS too short!!!

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Caroline February 10, 2010 at 12:17 pm

Oh my gosh…so funny! But way to go…acceptance of our selves. I too helped support the hair spray industry..especially from 1984-1990. Holy cow I had some high hair! It’s so nice to be older and wiser. Sure I still like to look good…but it’s for me, not to prove anything to the world. And yeah…I like to embrace my inner dork. 🙂

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Lindsey Petersen February 10, 2010 at 12:21 pm

The underwear story is SOOOO typical of me. Of course, I’m the one who always forgets my earrings, rarely wears make-up and doesn’t really care what others think about me, so dropping strange underwear is normal…
Lindsey Petersen
http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com

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Aurora February 10, 2010 at 12:24 pm

Great story – and you are at a wonderful place in your life. I could totally relate to the perfectionist part – and then when you start to accept yourself more, accepting others more comes with it.
Thank goodness for the wisdom that comes with age and the desire to learn:)
.-= Aurora´s Last Fabulous Post ..Character Assassination =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 10, 2010 at 1:20 pm

Hi, Tess!

Meeting in the middle would be nice; I think it’s funny that you’re practically the odd man out in your family. I could learn a lot about how to relax in my own skin from you, I think. Although on my worst days, I’d probably try to turn your shirt right-side out for you! (sigh) Thanks for your smiling-provoking comment!

Hi, Hilary!

I love your new picture, by the way. So happy, elegant and beautiful!
I’m actually glad that Lance put a disclaimer up about the panties not being his. (wink!) You’re so funny!
I love your approach to letting others know something’s not quite right with them, “I think you need to deal with this…” How tactful, and I may use it! Some day I hope to read your hysterical stories – nothing like a good belly laugh to enliven us. You have me intrigued, Hilary, and I’m so grateful for your good energy and hearty comment!

Hi, Audra!

I so appreciate your lovely comment and supportive energy. Thank you! What a great way to judge how far we’ve come in life: by how good we can feel no matter what the circumstance. Laughter is one of my favorite things to do, and while I still need to loosen up a bit in some areas of my life, the levity comes more easily now than it ever has. And like you said, if we can take others laughing at (or with?) us in stride, that’s a very good thing.

Hi, Katie!

You do my heart and mind a world of good with your awesome energy. Thank you for your magnificent comment! Coming from you, the “keeping it real” comment is high praise. I look to you and I see trueness, ease, and (above all, perhaps) levity. I want to be more like you when I grow up!
I loved your comment about the virtual world, too — I feel very close and connected to people that I’ve only ever “met” via email or the Internet. A heart connection is a heart connection, and it doesn’t have to happen in-person. So amen, sister! And here’s to more light, loveable and authentic moments between us all!

Hi, Evita!
I loved your comment. I’m not going to say that being male isn’t hard – I’m sure it has it’s really challenging moments and I can’t deny those for anyone. Coming into this world as a female, though, especially in a day and age when IMAGES of “perfect” women are everywhere… Oye! For so many years I thought I was doing it wrong. I was convinced that every other girl or woman out there was better at being feminine than I was. That just exacerbated an already perfectionist inclination in me that I’m fairly certain I was born with.
I’m so glad that we’ve both come as far as we have, and feel comfortable in our own skin. Here’s to even more of that moving forward, and to the incredible joy we’ll feel as a result.

Hi, Hanlie!

Thank you for your comment, and like you, the older I get the more relaxed I become. As I wrote in an earlier comment, part of me wonders if self-acceptance comes with age, with working on oneself, or a little bit of both? Regardless, I’m so much happier now than I used to be, and it keeps getting better. Much love – and courage to be all of who you are! – to you.

Hi, Jodi!

You’re so kind; thank you for coming by and sharing your beautiful energy.

Hi, Michelle!
Karaoke?! That’s huge. I’m not sure I could be as brave as you, but boy it’s intriguing. I love to sing (by myself), and fancy myself a closet professional (??!!). I would have loved to see you singing your heart out, and I’m sure you had a huge smile on your face the entire time. Here’s to more FUN and liberating experiences in life!
Thank you for your great comment, and lots of love to you.

Hi, Caroline!

Inner dorks unite! I really appreciate the fact that while you’re more relaxed now that you’re older, it doesn’t mean you’re a slouch. You still like to look good but you’re doing it for YOU. That’s just fantastic, and if we could teach young girls to embrace that, perhaps they’d grow up with far fewer fears. Then again, maybe it’s a rite of passage. In any case, thanks for your comment and great energy!

Hi, Lindsey!

Oh my gosh, I didn’t mean to steal your story! (wink) Between you and Tess (at The Bold Life), I have some more relaxing I need to learn how to do. Thanks for being here!

Hi, Aurora!

Well said, and I’m glad I have kindred spirits out there who can relate to this story. It’s very reassuring! Thanks for your comment!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Jody - Fit at 52 February 10, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Lance, thx for this post & for Megan! I loved this!!!! I find myself following into this trap all the time about what others think. It is a hard one to break & left over form a fat childhood. Thta just made me laugh out loud baout those undies & what a great message! I must share this with others!

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Fatibony{self help wellness} February 10, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Lovely story and the black panties made me laugh, great lesson you have shared here cuz at the end of the day we would are left with no one but ourselves. Awesome Thanks 🙂
.-= Fatibony{self help wellness}´s Last Fabulous Post ..Two People,Yes, Two Lasting Friends =-.

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Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings February 10, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Hahahaha! That is one funny story (Note: I’m laughing WITH you not AT you).

Being an Aussie, laughing at myself is pretty much ingrained. It’s a cultural thing. Actually, it’s also a genetic thing. Having said that, I can still relate to the worrying about what others think. I can also relate to how, with age, it becomes far less of an issue. And you’re so right, the more we accept ourselves, the more we accept others.

Great post Megan and thanks for introducing her to us Lance!
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s Last Fabulous Post ..Daisy List #80. Gold Class Movie Night =-.

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Hilary February 10, 2010 at 3:23 pm

Hi Megan …. thanks ..I don’t! But I don’t take too well to photos …. and this pic was taken at Mum’s Nursing Centre .. not professional …. but glad you like them when I’d cropped it!! … Oh yes . Mum’s stories that we laughed at were hysterical – we had the whole ward (in London ) dashing in to laugh at what was going on!! Fun .. they were amazed anyone could laugh so much … – yes .. I do live life as full as I can for Mum and I in the circumstances ..

Just glad I give you some energy and heart!! .. bye – Hilary
.-= Hilary´s Last Fabulous Post ..Rhinoceros chase – or how about a little rolling over with Hippopotami? =-.

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Alexys Fairfield February 10, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Hi Megan,

Ah, it’s just another aspect of your fabulousness my friend. And the irony is that you probably paid more for less. LOL.

If that tiny underwear got you this story it was with it, wasn’t it? 😀

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Joy February 10, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Megan,
You are so cute–I love this story!!! And I think this– so know that I say it out of love for you…whomever saw the tiny black underwear was thinking wow bet she looks super hot *in* those–LOL:) And the women who saw were thinking, dang, I better get a pair!! I know that’s not “Enlightened” but it’s heartfelt:)
And you know something else, we each have a similar story. And I hope we can each laugh at it….

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vikum February 10, 2010 at 7:03 pm

he he…. It was a good one. It always takes some time to come to our ‘wise’ age where we understand a lot of things about ourselves. What a difference?
Thanks a lot Megan. Have a nice day !
.-= vikum´s Last Fabulous Post ..Hard journeys will pay you back =-.

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J.D. Meier February 10, 2010 at 7:35 pm

> a beautiful two-way street, too. The less I judge myself, the less I judge others.
Very well put.

It’s also a great reminder that you have to be careful of little black underwear … it’s like a little ninja that can cling to anything.
.-= J.D. Meier´s Last Fabulous Post ..10 Ways to Go from Good to Great =-.

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Angelia Sims February 10, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Megan,

This is awesome. I love how you evolved over the years to be who you truly are, in acceptance of yourself and others.

I was always a goofy klutz most of my life but I still cared far too much about what people thought. The last few years that has changed. I really thought it was an age thing but with your story – I am thinking it was letting go of judgments. What a beautiful thing.

Happy, happy days Megan!

http://youthinkyoucanblog.wordpress.com

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Zeenat{Positive Provocations} February 11, 2010 at 3:36 am

Oh My Joyful Angel,
Once again you have made me smile…and lough so hard..i had to wait 15 minutes to get a hold of myself before i typed this comment 🙂 You naughty little minx…you get me everytime…whether its your humor or your insightful writing..it gets me everytime 🙂
As fro the school girl that you were…i think we were twins in our teenage years….seriously i was exactly the same..2 hrs to get dressed..and I wouldnt open my front door without looking perfectly presentable..omg i was so freaking self indulgent….ha…And see me now….I could have weird things sticking out of me ..and i still woudlnt know it…let alone care…
I dont own any make up anymore..My hubby actually calls me very very low maintainance..compared to the other gals he’s seen around 🙂 That i take as a compliment….Low maintainance…but high on love hehheh…
psst…i bet someone took a pic of that undie stuck to you….:) I am all inquisitive to seee….ok ok….if you dont want to post it on facebook….email me..;)
So Much Love to you my darling megan!

And Lance….as always…Megans post is just perfect…i so needed to read this humorous rendition…of the undies..:) Thank you Lance 🙂

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 11, 2010 at 6:18 am

Hi, Jody!

This is my first time corresponding with you in our blogging community. My gosh, you ARE fit (and FABULOUS, I might add!). Thank you so much for your wonderful comment; you made my morning!
Like you, some of my childhood insecurities still linger in funny little ways, but when I can take notice of them, I’m able to laugh them away. As Katie (the Levity Coach) said (to her fears), “Get real, dude!”

Hi, Fatibony!

Thank you so much for your comment, and your loving energy. Based on the title of your latest blog post, I have to read it! Much joy and love to you!

Hi, Sami!

I didn’t realize that Aussies were more prone to laughter — I think I need to visit, and bring a lot of my friends with me! I appreciate your comment and wonderful energy, so thank you, Sami!

Hi, Hilary!

You’re such a dear – thank you! (smile)

Hi, Alexys!

My gosh, it’s like you read my mind in some cases! Why do tiny underwear cost so much?!! There’s not a whole lot there to be paying for! But you’re right – the value was not in the fabric, but in what the fabric helped me realize about myself. Very wise, and wonderful as always. Thank you!

Hi, Joy!

Oh I think your comment is very enlightened! It lit me right up, so thank you! (wink) And I believe you’re right: everyone has an underwear story. With Peggy, it was toilet paper on her shoe. With Tess, it could be just about anything (!!). With Lynn, it was a dryer sheet. I LOVE IT! Thank you, my wonderful friend, for spreading so much happiness and a HUGE smile from your coast to mine. ~ Big hug ~

Hi, Vikum!

Thank you for your comment, and I think you’re absolutely right: in time, all things soften in and find their comfortable place, including our self-acceptance. Be well & joyful!

Hi, JD!

I just laughed aloud about your little ninja comment! I’ll never look at underwear the same way again. (smile) Many thanks, and much love!

Hi, Angelia!

Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. It made me happy to read that you, too, are evermore accepting of those funny little aspects of yourself that make you truly unique in this world. That’s just awesome! Much love and joy to you!

Hi, my Beautiful Zeenat!

“Low Maintenance, but High On Love.” That should be a t-shirt! (smile) Your comment was just so perfect, and I’m tremendously grateful, my friend. Thank you! We were probably soul sisters growing up, and with every primp or perfection-seeking prod we gave to ourselves, the other perked up. What a pair we would have made!
Your beauty shines through like the sun, and in it I see a more brilliant world. Thank you for being YOU — exactly as you are, and helping the rest of us embrace our most loving selves. Huge hug!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Karl Staib - Work Happy Now February 11, 2010 at 7:42 am

Ha! That’s funny. You are right the only thing you can do is laugh about it. You didn’t do it on purpose. A wise person recognizes the difference and just rolls with it. An even wiser person uses the story to help other people overcome their fear of feeling embarrassed.

I bet all the guys thought you were flirting with you. Did they all bring you coffee? 😉
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s Last Fabulous Post ..Welcome Forbes Readers =-.

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Maryse February 11, 2010 at 7:53 am

Funny story. It’s like walking out of the restroom with toilet paper hanging out of our pants. Hey, if you made someone laugh, you added light to their day. And you have a great attitude. Yes, it takes a while to get there!
Maryse

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suzen February 11, 2010 at 8:24 am

Hi Lance! SO happy to see My Megan here! Double my joy in one post!

Hi My Megan! Cute story, you cutie! I can SO relate! Went thru quite a bit of that OMG what will people think or say too. It took me longer than it took you to drop that whole thing, but what a relief and such joy to be free of it. I’d taken such heat for going the hippie route, that I reversed that to get into the corporate world and was SO obsessed with “image”. I even took up tennis – I play like s— but damn, I looked good! Had the outfit, etc! Ha!

I live in town full of she-she-ta-ta’s – they dress up to go to the gym. I show up in my sweat shorts and t-shirt, no make-up, hair is a “whatever”. The glare on their jewels makes it hard to focus! The glare of their stares at me is amusing. The benefit? They give me LOTS of room to myself! 🙂

It’s funny how the older one gets, the less the superficial stuff matters. Enjoy your liberation! Let me tell ya, it gets even BETTER! 🙂 You’re already a joy-filled bright star – your total evolution will be astounding!!!!!

Love and hugs
suZen

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Hilda February 11, 2010 at 9:43 am

OMG Megan, I once pranced about my flat with my knickers tucked into my skirt, much to the amusement of my (male) flatmate. I was mortified at the time. If it happened today I would laugh at it too. It’s taken quite a while, but like you, I’ve come to realise that what other people think of me is none of my business, it’s what I think that counts. Thanks for the laugh (and hi Lance!)
.-= Hilda´s Last Fabulous Post ..Freedom is within =-.

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Nadia - Happy Lotus February 11, 2010 at 10:13 am

Hi Lance and Megan,

Lance, I love the picture that you used. Yay for embracing our inner dorks! WOO HOO! 🙂

Megan, being that I used to be a perfectionist, I could so relate to your behavior when you were a perfectionist. I, too, always had a mirror in my purse and never could understand why someone would not tell another person if they had a piece of spinach in between their teeth. Thank you for showing that I was not alone in that behavior. 🙂

And good for you for not caring if the world saw your panites! One time, I had a trail of tissue paper attached to my shoe and I walked for blocks with it, totally unaware that I had it. When I got to where I was going, I finally looked down and realized that my shoe had a long trail of tissue paper attached it. I had no idea how that got there and it was so funny, I started to laugh because it must have looked so funny.

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Stacey Shipman February 11, 2010 at 10:59 am

This is a great story. Having just read it today, I’m reminded of last night’s episode of Modern Family – did you see it?

We all try to be so buttoned up, but for what? Let loose! Maybe we should all wear our underwear on the outside once in a while!
.-= Stacey Shipman´s Last Fabulous Post ..Stretch Break: Side Bend and Simple Chest Stretch =-.

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Heather Kephart February 11, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Ahahaa!!! Megan, I love that!

I think you and I have been working on a lot of the same issues. I’m also a recovering perfectionist. But I”m not as far along as you are. I can’t imagine what it feels like to NOT be self-conscious. What does it feel like not to worry about what others think of your appearance? I can’t even imagine.

As soon as I figure out the whole self-improvement vs self-acceptance paradox I’ll be golden. Hopefully static cling will not be involved in any way!
.-= Heather Kephart´s Last Fabulous Post ..Fiction or Bust =-.

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Lance February 11, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Megan,
Hi Megan!! It is so great having you here! And this has been such a fun story (and comments) to read! Hmmm….I think it just might be the first time we’ve had a discussion around underwear here in the Jungle!! (and definitely the first for tiny black underwear!) Anyway, just you sharing this is really a sign of how comfortable you are in your own skin. And that is really a wonderful and beautiful gift you bring to this world. You have such a comforting presence in your words, and that really is so, so sweet. Thank you so much for being here, today and always. You are a dear and caring friend…

All,
Well, this have just been a whole lot of fun to read and hear everyone’s stories! Thanks so much for sharing…embarrassing moments and all. It truly shows just how much, once we get over ourselves, we are alright just the way we are…imperfections and all.

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Mindful Mimi February 12, 2010 at 2:22 am

Lance: what a great visitor you have.
Megan: what a quirky writing style. And what a funny story. I could never live up to the purrrfect girls in school no matter how hard I tried. Now I realize that some of the them may have considered me as perfect. That’s what life’s all about: it teaches you lessons all along the way and it’s up to you when you get them 🙂 Go black panties 🙂
.-= Mindful Mimi´s Last Fabulous Post ..I will write peace on your wings and you will fly all over the world — Sadako Sasaki =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 12, 2010 at 5:31 am

Hi, Karl!

Gosh, I didn’t get any coffee that day… Hmph! I think I might try it again, only maybe change the color to red. (wink) Thanks for your comment, and I love what you said about “a wise person recognizes the difference.” I’m going to hold onto that thought for awhile.

Hi, Maryse!

You’re right about it taking awhile to reach a place of acceptance, regardless of circumstance. Now, had someone pointed out said underwear to me while I was out and about, I wonder how I would have reacted? No wait… I’m not sure I want to manifest that! Thanks for your great comment and taking time to share your energy.

Hi, SuZen!

You made me laugh out loud this morning – my first guffaw of the day! By the way, I would truly love to see pictures of your swing from hippie-dom into corporate stodgy-dom.
And as I read about the ladies at your gym, I thought, “Hmm, I didn’t think SuZen lived in the same town as me…” !! Love that they give you room to yourself – at a gym, that’s actually rather nice!
I have to say, every day I grow more and more comfortable in my own skin, and as I continue reading, learning, and exploring this great big world we live in – and defining my authentic place within it – my joy expands.
Thank you for your wonderful comment, and BIG loving energy!

Hi, Hilda!

You quoted one of my favorite lines in your comment. It’s one that only started making sense to me in my late 20’s: what other people think of us is none of our business. YES! I like to couple it with: ignorance is bliss. (smile)
Here’s to our continued evolution, and ever-expanding joy!

Hi, Nadia!
Spinach-illuminators, unite!
Gosh, I smiled as I imagined your tissue paper story. In my head the tissue trail was at least three feet long, and I could see you laughing when you recognized what had happened. Honestly, you seem so accepting to me that I can’t imagine you ever having a perfectionist phase, but that just gives me hope that any lingering bits of perfectionism in me will keep working themselves out until one day, I’m completely free.
Thank you for your awesome comment!

Hi, Stacey!

I didn’t see that TV show you referenced, but am intrigued. I’m also intrigued by this “underwear on the outside” idea. Let’s get Katie at The Levity Project to initiate! Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment!

Hi, Heather!

Oh man I loved your comment — so well crafted, and yet completely heartfelt.
You’ve given my monkey mind something to latch onto today: “self-improvement” versus “self-acceptance.” I bet my treadmill workout will be interesting (because that’s where stuff like that usually sloshes around for awhile until it suddenly makes sense)!
I appreciate your good energy and knowing I have another kindred spirit out there!

Hi, Lance!

Thank you so much for inviting me to be part of this incredible love fest known as “The Jungle of Life.” I feel privileged to be here.
Part of what makes feeling comfortable in my own skin possible is the amazing people who surround me – you among them. The more we all share with one another, the more love we feel inside, which means that “outer stuff” just doesn’t matter as much.
Wasn’t it the Beatles who said, “All you need is love” ? Well, I second that. So Lance, thank YOU for all the love you give to everyone whose path you cross. (*bow*)

Hi, Mindful Mimi!

Go Black Panties, indeed! Thank you for your lovely comment, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance in this awesome blogging community of ours.
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Tim February 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Hi Megan:

Ouch, that had to be a sinking feeling once you realized. It reminds me of a day in high school when I put on a t-shirt backwards after my gym class and walked around for 15 or 20 minutes. I felt pretty stupid. These days, I think I have embraced my inner dork and inner geek. I think, in years past, I would be embarrassed to admit this. But today, an older, wiser me is comfortable with that tag…and I can laugh about it. Megan, thanks for sharing your story here and Lance, thanks for allowing her to share the story on your blog.

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Jillian February 12, 2010 at 3:08 pm

Hello Megan and Lance,

Good to see you two uniting.

I guess I had it easy, never having been a perfectionist I had to accept myself at an early age for who I was because I was all I had.

I can’t even begin to know what it would be like to have my hair in place, to never be late, to not mix up analogies, to not laugh beer out of my nose, to not put my foot in my mouth but what I realized early on was that my idiosyncracies made people laugh and what could be a better gift than that?
.-= Jillian´s Last Fabulous Post ..Looking for Snow? Visit the Wolf Creek Ski Area + Enter to Win 4 Passes =-.

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Jannie Funster February 12, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Megan! Tell Lance a slice of cake from Jim’s birthday is waiting here for him, okay?? And it’s the LAST slice, now hidden .But if Jim or Kelly go hunting I’m sure they’ll make it theirs.

Thanks

xoxo you guys.
.-= Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Sweetest Bloom =-.

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BK February 13, 2010 at 1:41 am

I certainly agree with you that “the only person’s opinion that truly matters – the one I need to be able to live with at the end of each day – is my own.” Just as what Barbara de Angelis said, “No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.”
.-= BK´s Last Fabulous Post ..Religious Harmony in the World =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 13, 2010 at 7:14 am

Hi, Tim!

I’m not sure it was a sinking feeling, so much as a, “Wow, THAT must have looked pretty crazy!” feeling. (smile) I did laugh to myself when I realized what had happened. A backwards t-shirt — in high school, that would have sent me into a self-awareness/embarrassment panic. Heck, I didn’t even like it if any of my tags were sticking out of the back of my shirt! Thanks for sharing your story, and for encouraging me with mine.

Hi, Jillian!

Wow, you really do sound like a completely comfortable-with-yourself person, from the get-go. I admire that! I come from a family where the phrase “what would the neighbors say?” wasn’t uncommon. You’re right, though, besides love, what better gift can we give than laughter? Thank you so much for your comment.

Hi, Jannie!

Now, where EXACTLY is that last slice hidden? Lance asked me specifically to get that info from you. And if there are any spare keys tucked in any frogs or anything, he wanted to know that, too. And also, if you, Jim and Kelly will be gone at all this weekend, please advise. With times. And durations of absence. Thank you!

Hi, BK!

I love how that quote reads – thank you for sharing it, and for leaving such a wonderful comment. Blessings to you!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Paul Maurice Martin February 13, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Megan, good point about self acceptance but I have to say that working in the public schools, I never did learn to accept chalk dust on my butt, which I guess is about the closest I’ll ever come to static-cling panties – I sure hope so anyway.

But that chalk dust just positions you to be the butt of way too many jokes in an elementary school setting…

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Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny February 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm

haha! oh my goodness, isn’t life wonderful? My fellow blogger, Staci and I share “flaunt your flaws” posts on Fridays. We’d love to have you add this post to our blog roll. Actually, I think I can do it for you. Her blog is called “justbloggled”. Well done on sporting the little black panties…at least they were yours and not someone else’s…lol!
.-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s Last Fabulous Post ..sharing chocolate covered strawberries on Valentine’s Day: juicy, sweet and delicious =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 13, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Hi, Paul!

Chalk dust butt — I could see that being an equal embarrassment! Sort of reminds me of white deodorant stains on black shirts. Those are always fun, too!
I’m smiling right now, and giving a lot of thanks for your great comment. I always appreciate your energy!

Hi, Cheryl!

I’m intrigued and will head over to Staci’s blog after this. Yours, as well. Thank you so much!
And man, you’ve made an excellent point there: thank GOD those panties were mine! (smile)
Be well and thanks for your great comment!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Terie February 14, 2010 at 6:53 am

🙂 I can’t help but laugh at this story because I have a feeling I’ve been there, done that several times in my life. I love this message and it is so true. I agree that getting older makes us wiser and in time we realize that the “what would people think” syndrome is only in our heads. What a waste of perfectly good thought and time on my part to be so consumed by the opinion of others, yet it happens more often than not. I realized I reached this liberation when I walked into the grocery store and saw my reflection in a mirror. I realized I was wearing the same shirt I slept in the night before. Hey it was clean, it’s also a tie-dye and it’s mighty comfy 🙂

Thanks for sharing your story and for reminding us to just let go and be free!!
.-= Terie´s Last Fabulous Post ..Self Portrait "Pouting Emilie" =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 14, 2010 at 7:10 am

Hi, Terie!

I LOVE that! The grocery store used to always give me pause before I walked out the door: who might I see? How did I look? Now, like you, those thoughts don’t enter my head the way they used to. My thoughts now are more along the lines of, “What do I have to buy and can I enjoy myself if I go now, or will I be rushing around?”
Thank you so much for sharing your good energy here, and making me smile.
Be well!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Laura Hegfield February 14, 2010 at 11:06 am

I love this story and the way you have expressed the two way street quality of self acceptance/accepting others just the way we all are. My favorite recent undie story happened while shopping for lingere with my daughter…I was in my wheelchair and the aisles at the store were not quite wide enough and the tiny plastic hangers on random bras and panties bailed from the racks and attached themselves to the spokes of my wheels…so my poor mortified teenage daughter had to be seen with her mom’s colorfully decorated chariot rolling through the department store until we noticed…I personally thought is was pretty funny. She did to, eventually. What can you do? Sometimes embarassing dorky things happen…laughing about it eases the awkwardness.
.-= Laura Hegfield´s Last Fabulous Post ..Silk Saris and Stories =-.

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Chris Edgar February 14, 2010 at 2:17 pm

It’s funny, my appearance used to be a lot sloppier when I didn’t accept myself as much. But I think that was just a more subtle form of ego — I wanted to tell the world that I wasn’t superficial and didn’t share everybody else’s piddling earthly concerns. 🙂

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jen February 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm

Pure hilarity! Thanks for bringing us another brilliant light, Lance. I can’t wait to check out Megan’s blog. This reminded me of how much I’m trying to learn to laugh at myself more – and how rare and welcome the friend who can also laugh at myself with me. What joy.
.-= jen´s Last Fabulous Post ..a valentine for single moms and dads =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 15, 2010 at 5:52 am

Hi, Laura!

Oh my gosh, I’m smiling as I read your comment and picturing all the hangers of lingerie attached to your chair! What a beautiful, fun story, and the fact that it involves your teenage daughter makes it that much better. Laughing at life feels good, doesn’t it? And I like feeling good, so as often as possible now, I try to laugh at life. Like anything, it takes practice, but it’s well worth the effort.
Much love & joy to you!

Hi, Chris!

Wow, that’s a manifestation of ego I wouldn’t have thought of right away. I’m so glad you shared that, and am grateful for your good energy, always. Sending joy and love your way this week!

Hi, Jen!

Based on your picture, it looks like you laugh a lot and are very happy and accepting! Thank you for leaving such a beautiful comment, and please know how much I appreciate your good energy. Be well & joyful!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Sara February 15, 2010 at 6:05 am

Great story Megan and even better meaning and significance. It’s funny how sometimes the smallest things can have the greatest meaning and impact. Thanks!
.-= Sara´s Last Fabulous Post ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.

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JAN February 15, 2010 at 3:35 pm

What a wonderful story, Megan, especially of recovering your truest self! Perfectionism be gone.!What others think of us be gone! Being who you are, warts and all, has such freedom. (As does midlife and aging….)As you describe yourself I am reminded of a much younger version of myself who cared way too much what people thought of me. I could absolutely not go out of the house without makeup or earrings! I am a recovering perfectionist, too, and the underwear story is such a great way to say, “Isn’t it time to let all that go?” xo

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Bella February 15, 2010 at 6:33 pm

Ahhhhh, I loved this! 🙂

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 15, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Hi, Sara!

That’s so true – it doesn’t take a piano falling on our head to make an impact. Something small can help us recognize just how much we’ve shifted. Thanks for your comment, and have a beautiful week!

Hi, Jan!

I could picture you putting on that makeup and those earrings — and I thought, “What a beautiful kindred spirit!” Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone. I love the idea of declaring that yes, indeed, it’s time to let all of it go and BE WHO I AM! Underwear on the inside or outside – doesn’t matter!”
I’m grateful for your kind comment. Wishing you a lovely week!

Hi, Bella!

Why thank you! Much love & joy to you.
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Robin Easton February 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Dear Sweet Megan, I just LOVE you!!!!! I read this and just wanted to HUG you. You just get better and better. This has to be one of the BEST things I’ve read in ages. I got to the end and burst out laughing my face off. I mean, REALLY right out loud. You are soooooo dang human. I have a GREAT imagination and could just picture those panties plastered across your leg or butt or wherever, and you blissfully walking around oblivious to it all. THAT is SOOOOO beautiful. I love things like that. I will have to tell a story sometime about a friend. You are just to precious. Thank you for sharing this. Much love, Robin xox 🙂
.-= Robin Easton´s Last Fabulous Post ..Forgiveness =-.

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sheila February 16, 2010 at 4:58 am

Gosh, we sound an awful lot like each other, lol. (then AND now). And I had a moment similar to this panty one once….only it was chocolate pudding…on my CHIN. 🙂 Visiting from both my blogs today….incase you don’t know who I am with my website link, I’m also over from maviefolle .com (where you left me a comment). 🙂
.-= sheila´s Last Fabulous Post ..The many benefits of Rosemary =-.

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Kristy February 16, 2010 at 8:23 am

Megan, well, I am Tess’ daughter and she made reference to the 3 daughter’s who were perfectionists which leave 1 daughter left….that’s me. I am much like her. I would so be the person who’d not only show up w/ the black underwear clung to my pants, but I would probably laugh at myself and then feel the need to tell someone about what I did. I am very close to my middle sister–who happens to be a perfectionist. She and I work together and will be at sales meetings. She’ll feel the need to reposition my cardigan or state the obvious that I have a zit on my face. I used to want to be like her, like my dad, and probably even like my oldest sister. There is a burning desire to have an organized desk but in my 30’s I’ve truly started to embrace that is part of who I am. I tell on myself and will be the one meeting my mom for a race and we both have our shirts on backwrads or inside out. To me, it makes life a bit more interesting. It leaves me wondering what silly, quirky thing am I going to do today…..what’s funny is I attract people who are the perfectionists :). Imagine that. Also, you are beautiful and radiate joy.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 16, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Hi, Robin!

You make my heart overflow with the love you share. Thank you so much! No amount of land or water could keep your energy from enriching my life – almost as if you were right in the room speaking your words to me. I am touched by all you wrote… Human, indeed, and happy to share this planet with loving, beautiful souls like you. Sending you a big, grateful hug!

Hi, Sheila!

Pudding – that’s great! Oh gosh, the esteemed company I’m in: I love it! What I love even more, though, is that this fabulous crowd of people who have commented all value the ability to laugh at ourselves. It’s what makes living in these human bodies more bearable, I think.
Thank you for your comment and great energy!

Hi, Kristy!

It’s lovely to make your acquaintance by way of Lance’s blog. I think I’ve seen a picture of you on your mom’s site, and to read your words here is a privilege. Thank you!
As for the many adventures you face each day as a non-perfectionist — or better yet, a relaxionist — it actually sounds quite fun! None of that wasted time or energy worrying what’s not right. Instead it sounds more like you look forward to, and welcome, quirks and oddities that others might consider embarrassing. I really love and admire that! I’m slowly getting there, but it takes time and the release of some lifelong habits. I’m convinced, though, that one pair of underwear at a time, I CAN and WILL become a relaxionist, too!
Wishing you a joyful week, and again, sending gratitude your way!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Kaushik February 16, 2010 at 3:52 pm

That’s a funny and beautiful story! Approval is one of our strongest drivers, and it’s quite relief when we are able to see it. It’s quite a challenge for young women especially, with the cultural and magazine standards of beauty and expectation. Thanks, very illuminating.
.-= Kaushik´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divine Valentine and 2012 =-.

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Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord February 17, 2010 at 5:37 am

Hi, Kaushik!

Thanks for your great comment, and you hit the nail on the head. In my young life, I wanted to be (we’re talking early 1980’s here): Princess Diana, Cindy Crawford, and Joan Lunden (I LOVED her hair!). I never realized that all three of those women had people who dressed and primped them every day. I also never dreamed that Cindy had been airbrushed in magazines… (sigh) So yes, as a young girl, my standards were unrealistic. Couple that with my innate sense of high personal standards and it was a recipe for disaster! But luckily, awakening has helped shift me toward a more accepting way of life. Amen! And thank goodness for little black underwear… (smile)
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Underwear in the Jungle! =-.

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Jon January 1, 2011 at 10:55 am

I’ll never forget the time that a pair of my mum’s red knickers somehow got caught up in my rugby shirt. I was about 12, and pulled my shirt out of my gym bag in the school changing rooms, and there inside was some red knickers. Never even knew my mum had red knickers!

Somehow nobody noticed. I pushed them down to the bottom of the bag and then put them back in the laundry when I got home. It could have been so much worse, if anybody saw them fall out of my shirt I would have died a million times over in that changing room!
Jon´s Last Fabulous Post ..Adriana Lima Wears Victoria’s Secret LingerieMy Profile

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