Achieving Greatness Together

by Kelly Sajonia on · 16 comments

I have a con­fes­sion to make: I have never been great in a relationship.

This might seem to be a sur­pris­ing admis­sion from some­one writ­ing a rela­tion­ship col­umn monthly, but until last year this was true.

Let me explain…

A rela­tion­ship is a part­ner­ship and it takes both peo­ple to be suc­cess­ful. It is some­thing stated often for a very good rea­son: it’s true. A per­son can try hard to be a good part­ner. One can pos­sess great com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills, be lov­ing, con­sid­er­ate, empa­thetic, and more. But great­ness will not be achieved alone. Until a wor­thy part­ner is the other half of the rela­tion­ship with the per­son mak­ing heroic efforts to be suc­cess­ful, it won’t hap­pen. Regard­less of the effort made, it is not pos­si­ble for one per­son to com­pen­sate for defi­cien­cies in another.

So back to my self-admitted rela­tion­ship mediocrity…

No mat­ter how hard I tried in what would always be doomed rela­tion­ships, I could not improve or repair them alone. I also could not reach a level of great­ness that I wanted in my per­sonal life either. Try­ing to fill in the defi­cien­cies nei­ther brought me great­ness nor did I find these rela­tion­ships per­son­ally satisfying.

What changed is sim­ple: I changed partners.

Being in a rela­tion­ship with some­one who mir­rors my desire to be suc­cess­ful in the rela­tion­ship, feel ful­filled, cre­ate hap­pi­ness for the other, is com­fort­able open­ing his heart to another, and has a strong desire to achieve great­ness in a part­ner­ship made a dif­fer­ence. I find I am doing what I have always done, but with sig­nif­i­cantly dif­fer­ent results.

I have awak­ened to my own great­ness by real­iz­ing that to do so meant find­ing some­one who had the abil­ity and desire to work towards the great­ness with me.

Being one half of a whole, rela­tion­ship great­ness can only be achieved together.

Have you dis­cov­ered your own great­ness in a relationship?

 

If so, please share below.


by Kelly Sajo­nia

Kelly Sajo­nia is a writer for many sites, but spends most of her time writ­ing for her award-winning blog Naked Girl in a Dress. Her inspi­ra­tional blog cel­e­brates redis­cov­er­ing life and love at any age. Kelly also has a full ser­vice social media mar­ket­ing busi­ness, runs a social media site for writ­ers, teaches blog­ging, and occa­sion­ally takes a pro­fes­sional pho­tog­ra­phy gig.
Kelly Sajonia
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Glori | Crazy Introvert May 25, 2012 at 8:00 am

Have you dis­cov­ered your own great­ness in a relationship?
Well, I haven’t even tried being in a “relationship” so I wouldn’t know. LOL. But reading posts such as these actually give me an idea of what a relationship should be. My friends are often afraid for me, thinking that I would easily be “played” by guys because of my inexperience. I hope not. I like to believe that there are still good guys out there who wouldn’t do that.
Thanks for a great post!
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Kelly Sajonia May 25, 2012 at 10:43 am

Thanks for visiting Glori. I do believe there are good guys out there, but first you have to take the first step to be open to dating. Read my article here on Courage. It was published in March:

http://www.jungleoflife.com/the-courage-to-love/

Best of luck to you!
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Peter May 25, 2012 at 10:53 am

I definitely know the feeling you have been writing about, I am not so good at my relationships as well. I’ve broke up with my last girlfriend a month ago, she has been my longest relationship with 7 months. I just can’t manage a relationship when things won’t fit as usual. When I need to step out of my comfort zone, I feel got lost and don’t want to solve the problems anymore, I just want to escape from the uncomfortable situation.

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Kelly Sajonia June 2, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Peter,
It might help to work on being able to step out of your comfort zone in other areas of you life. Once you feel you are making progress there, it might be time to try being in a relationship again. You might be better prepared to be a partner.

Best of luck to you.
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Born27 May 28, 2012 at 9:49 am

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about relationship. And I am glad to know that you are trying to be a good partner. This is the right way to do, if you really want to last your relationship forever.

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Kimbundance June 1, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Yes greatness is achieved together. Love it!
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Kelly Sajonia June 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Thank you Kimbundance, for visiting and commenting. I am happy this piece resonated for you.
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Shelon June 2, 2012 at 4:09 am

Hi, Kelly. I am truly, deeply inspired by your post. Especially this line:
“Regard­less of the effort made, it is not pos­si­ble for one per­son to com­pen­sate for defi­cien­cies in another.”

Very true and I can attest to this. I have been in a relationship where I did my best to be a good partner but the other person simply took things for granted. I was sad and frustrated and it simply did not bring the best in me. Thank you so much for this post. I know I made a good decision and I’m faithful that someone else who mirrors my principles and beliefs is waiting to be my partner for life :-)
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Kelly Sajonia June 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I can speak to this Shelon because I have also been where you were: in a relationship with someone not worthy of the effort I was making. What will always bring out the best in us is when we are happy and fulfilled in our lives–whether that is alone or with a loving partner.

Thank you for this inspiring comment….I feel a new post being formed in my mind right now.
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Shelon June 8, 2012 at 5:01 am

I really am very touched by this post, Kelly. I just got out of that relationship so the pain and memories are still fresh. It certainly did not bring the best in me but I’m happy and relieved that I found enough courage to let go.
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Kelly Sajonia June 12, 2012 at 7:51 am

It is so difficult to let go, but it can often lead to greater happiness. It sounds like this is the situation for you. Have faith in that and be patient. Time will reveal something greater in your life.

Hang in there.
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Drake July 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I think everybody knows how you feel Shelon, but you always need to remember that you split up for a reason. Also get rid of the things that would remind you of your partner. At least in the beginning this makes life a lot easier.

All the best
Drake
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Kelly Sajonia July 28, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Drake,
Great advice for Shelon. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment.
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Anneri June 16, 2012 at 2:47 am

This is so true! ‘Achieving greatness together”. We really can’t do it alone, or just from one side. That is why its so important to find someone with the same relationship goal as us. If that is something I can teach my daughter I will feel great!

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Kelly Sajonia June 19, 2012 at 8:03 am

I feel the same way about raising my kids; I want them to have a good understanding of what makes a solid relationship and how to be successful at choosing a life partner.
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