photo credit: Simon Pais
“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.” ~ Anthony Robbins
“I screwed up.“
“I can’t believe I just did that.“
“What was I thinking.“
“How could I not see that coming?“
“Dammit!”
Or any other myriad of thoughts/words that might come out (aloud, or in our head) when things don’t go quite as planned.
Has that ever happened to you? (of course it has…and for me, too)
How do you handle these moments?
Embarrassment? Did anyone else see that? Laugh it off? Make up excuses? Etc, etc, etc…
This past weekend, I was out mountain biking with my two sons. There is this state park just a few miles from our home, and it’s a fun place to go and take on some of the trails…trails that are not overly complicated, yet still provide for a fun ride and a great opportunity to get outdoors. This is a new activity we have just discovered over the summer. And this was also the first time on the trails for my younger son.
As we were ascending the first hill, he happened to hit a rut. (hmmm…isn’t life sometimes like that?)
CRASH!
And then…
He jumped right back up! And back on that bike — unfazed by this fall.
Kids. They really get it sometimes. There was no “jeez, I look like a fool”, or “what’s wrong with me”, or any of the other thoughts that can cross our minds when we ‘screw up’. It was simply something that happened.
…and then, back on that bike.
How about you? How about me?
When you fall — which you certainly have…which you certainly will… (when I fall — which I certainly have…which I certainly will…) …
What do we do?
Think about that.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor E. Frankl
YOU…choose your response.
photo credit: Ben Fredericson (xjrlokix)
What will it be?
In the grand scheme of things, our life here on earth truly is short. That does not mean it isn’t meaningful, though (because it IS meaningful…for each and every one of us).
Listen to your heart.
Chase rainbows.
Screw up.
Get back up.
Brush yourself off.
Reach for the stars!
And keep heading down that trail that is truly one of meaning for you…a journey that is so worth it!
..and LIVE!
It is getting back on the bicycle or that horse and moving forward – that is the choice. Sometimes it is harder though – it is not about riding a bike or hitting a rut as much as it is about putting yourself and your ability to provide or protect or support that is on the line. It is taking a risk that will mean something to other people – losing a job, changing directions, moving… ending a marriage, fighting in courts, drawing lines in the sand that move people away from one another over closer to each other.
WE make mistakes, we hit ruts… and the challenge is to learn and grow and see them for what they are – chances to choose and do something different or change our minds and actions or move forward with love and not fear.
Sounds like a great weekend, Lance!
The Exception´s Last Fabulous Post ..Treasures — Celebrating my 30s
The Exception,
Choices. That’s what I’m taking away from all that you have shared. And that’s always something we have — the choice in how we respond. Choosing love…what a wonderful view!
And — our day trip to the state park was very much a part of a great weekend!!
I couldn’t believe the headline. Lance screw up? Never!! Hehe.
My bones ache from the amount of times I’ve got back up after a fall but I feel compelled to keep doing it. It’s tempting to think life has something agaist us but it really doesn’t. Things happen we can’t take it personally and we just have to get on with it. As you say it’s our response to the adversities that really matters. Thanks for sharing Lance. I’m glad your boy is OK.
Dave´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mona Lisa Million– Monday 6 September 2010
Dave,
Ha!!! Well.…believe it or not…I DO screw up! (…sometimes more than I’d like to admit…)
How we respond…that’s something that IS always within our control. And that’s why I really love that Frankl quote…it is so true…
And — we were all more than okay — we left that day with great memories…and all our body parts intact!
I think of one of my favorite books, Who Moved My Cheese. I am always astonished on reflection that the person who moves my cheese the most is actually me.
I got a bit preachy on my blog this week, and then let loose with a cursing tirade on Facebook this morning after my bank account got looted. On reflection, I am more upset that I cursed than I am about the bank situation.
I grow…
Roy,
That’s a book I have definitely heard of…although I have not read it. Hmm…maybe it’s time!
Sorry to hear about your bank account. Not fun. And still — we react to these moments. The thing is — even when we’re less than our best selves — our moments of introspection can give us clarity for our going forward. I sense that very much from you today…and that’s a great thing…
Hi Lance! I’m proud to say that I’ve “screwed” up many many many times.
With each “screw up” comes a learning experience. Now, I mostly try to notice what is the lesson here. This awareness will hopefully help me handle things in a different manner the next time I screw up.
Loving blessings!
Andrea DeBell — britetalk´s Last Fabulous Post ..How to Get What You Want in Three Steps
Andrea,
Okay…and since you’re proud to say that…I’m saying it too: “I’ve screwed up many times too!”
Each time we fall, each time things don’t go quite as expected, each time we “screw up”…these are all moments for us to reflect and grow. When we do this — these moments are much more than they appear on the surface. And that’s a pretty wonderful thing!
Love to you!
Hi Lance
Great, great message and that quote from Victor Frankel just priceless!
Presence, consciousness, clarity and space results in an amazing state of being where there are no ups and downs, there is just the natural, and divine flow of it all.
Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Essential Energy with Cyndi Dale– The Energy Boundaries of Intimacy
Evita,
I just completely love this Viktor Frankl quote. It reminds me that we ALWAYS have a choice…even when we might think we don’t…we do. We can always choose our response. And that’s such an important thing to remember. Do I choose a response based on love, or based on something very much opposite?
Thanks so much, always, for your caring and thoughtful comments…
Hi Lance!!!
Oh boy, when I fall , I usually look around to see if anybody saw, because I want somebody to laugh with. Unless I’m tripping over a root walking to my apt in the middle of the night.…then I say “Damn it!!!” How would I know this? Yeah I did that the other night! LOL
When we mess up I think that the most important thing to do is own it! Don’t run from it. Learn from it and admire the fact that you’re trying, you’re involved! Life is full of failure! It’s messy! But the failure’s bring you a step closer to success.…
Thanks Lance! You always make me think!!!
Natalia
Natalia,
Ha!! Seeing in the dark…not always so easy!!
And I love that — having somebody to laugh with when we “trip up”! I’m going to have to try this!! It’s just too good! (thank YOU!!!)
…a step closer to success…
Wonderful, wonderful thoughts!!
Hi Lance,
My knees are scared from falling down and getting back up. I call them my battle scared, because if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be who I am. I kind of like how I am. Great postLance and there is a world of truth in it. It is so true and good for your son that it didn’t bother him a bit. Hope he stays that way as he ages.
Debbie
Debbie,
Ah yes…as we age (hmmm.…I notice that more and more the older I get!) those real falls — the physical kind — can be challenging on our body. And yet — the scars (figuratively or literally) — help to define who we are.
Just like you embody happiness — and what a wonderful thing that is! That’s a choice you have made — and how awesome that you have!!
My son…he definitely has age (and no fear) on his side!!
Heck, I haven’t really participated in the day fully if there isn’t some lil screw up in there to get down with! Anyway, I find I am pretty good at bouncing back and getting better at laughing at myself and I can’t practice those things without some oopsie moments in there too. You have such a kid’s heart…full of the positive and joy to be found even in the wobbly moments. Wonderful!!
Clearly Composed´s Last Fabulous Post .. Nutrition Spotlight– The Autumn Salad
Emma,
I love it!! How you embrace the daily screw ups!! What a great attitude toward life — and a true sign that you are out there, LIVING your life! And the more we do this — fully accept that bang up and hang ups can happen to us — the more fun life really is!
As for that kid’s heart…thank YOU!!! And you know…I see that very much in you, too!! (like the helicopter!!) Woohoo!
Hi Lance,
Thanks for these wise words as well as the quotes you’ve included. I’ve always love the Frankl quote. Gorgeous photography, as usual, too!
Man o man, of all the times I’ve screwed up — it seems the best thing to do is to keep going. Good for you for mountain biking and for your family, too. Super awesome.
Keep up the great work, Lance. I really liked the message here. Your words fall on me like a fresh late-summer breeze.
~xo
Lori´s Last Fabulous Post ..Fiercely Caring
Hi Lori,
That Frankl quote is one of my very favorites…and it fits so well with this message today.
Yep…keep on going!! Get back up…and get back on that horse (or bike, or path, with life…).
Lori, your amazing attitude and love shine through…always…
xoxo
Hi Lance,
Wow…Thank you!
I’ve just fallen..ouch..I choose my response..always…find the good in the experience..share what I can with others, find somethngto laugh about..and then praise for the whole thing–ouch and all.
I used to be so afraid to make mistakes, so afraid to fall, that I wouldn’t even try–I’d watch others and wish *I* had the courage, moxie, whatever it was that allowed them to get back on that bike one more time..
Guess what? I have it..as do you..as do we all..and now I have it in me to also praise for the entire experience..it is truly the experience of life that fills my heart, not the supposed perfection that is often sought after..
Thank you Lance, as always, for you share beauty, and today I celebrate that:)
Joy´s Last Fabulous Post ..Wednesday Wisdom– Your Astonishing Light…
Hi Joy,
Yes, those falls we have…they can sometimes hurt (physically and/or emotionally). When we can move beyond that — find the joy in the midst of challenge…good, good stuff!
Perfection…it’s WAY overrated, isn’t it!! Here’s to living a perfectly imperfect life…embracing all the moments of our life…and truly LIVING!!
Joy, you shine at this!!
Hi Lance
My dad always said to me “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not doing anything”. Isn’t that a cool way to put it?
I’ve obviously been doing because I’ve made plenty of mistakes but each one is really an opportunity to learn, change and grow. I say embrace the mistakes and keep rockin’!
Also, I’m so proud of your son! He got right back on that bike! Awesome!
Thank you Lance!
Keith´s Last Fabulous Post ..Love!
Keith,
Your father is a wise, wise man!! That is a very cool way to view mistakes!
Here’s to doing lots…making mistakes…and having the time of our life!!
And my son…yep…it hardly phased him (and he even fell a second time…and the same thing…just jumped right back up!!)
Rock on, Keith!!
Hi Lance .. love it .. they’ve been falling around for ever .. in their little lives — it’s nothing different — from when you let him fall off his bike — remember?! The best thing is .. you’ve both taught him not to fret, and just get on with life .…
where did we ‘adulties’ forget?! Live life ..
Fantastic that you’re out and about with him sharing life together .. the odd bump and bruise will give him something to brag about on his return .. enjoy the days .. Hilary
Hilary´s Last Fabulous Post ..Emoticons– Book Packaging– ebooks what was the future– is now the past
Hilary,
Right! When do we (as adults) sometimes forget this idea?? Just like when we learned to walk (as a toddler) — that involved a lot of falling. Yes — let’s LIVE LIFE!!
And this really was a fun acitivity for us to do!! Bumps and all.…
Hi Lance,
I liked the way you showed the fun that lies around and within even on screwing up…Surely one learns a lot from all such instances and even I screw up a lot many times…
I must say the quote by Viktor E. Frankl “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” is really really nice.
To share with you one such another quote, I have heard which slightly resembles the victor’s quote,(not much to do with here right now, but I felt like sharing…don’t mind..!)
“Whenever you face a choice between two options in your life, just toss a coin because while the coin is in air you suddenly come to know what your heart is hoping for.” and that’s your choice and your ultimate response..
Thanks for sharing a nice post.
Sangita..
Sangita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Revering my teachers– Happy Teachers’ Day
Sangita,
I personally just love this Frankl quote. There’s so much there in those few words. We ALWAYS have a choice.…at least in our response (to whatever life brings our way)!
And thank you for sharing this other quote — very thought provoking..
Hi, Lance — wow your comment box remembered my log-in info today — what a great start to my morning!
When I screw up, or perceive that I have, it’s the feeling inside that bothers me, and once I shake the feeling I’m good to go again. Like, if I listen back to a song I’ve recorded and there is a note in my singing I could have sung better I feel a bit depressed. But if I look at it as an opportunity to see what needs fixing, I tune into it as a chance for growth, see what to do differently next time.
We all fall, we all learn, we are all blessed no matter what happens.
Have an awesome day!!
xo
Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Without further ado…
Jannie,
Hey, that IS a great start to your morning…and…well…so is having you HERE!! Woo-Hoo!!
Ah…that feeling inside when we screw up — I know what you mean. That’s a great feeling to shake away. And…I’m shaking a bit right now…just as practice!!
Keep singing…your voice is love-filled!!!
I’ve learnt over the last few years that it’s okay to make mistake — sounds crazy, I know, but I’m a slow learner! I found that I had to watch my self-talk after each mess-up, because invariably I’d be telling myself what an idiot I was! I’d talk myself in to believing that I just wasn’t good enough. Now, I’ve learnt to laugh at myself, shake off the mistake and move on.….….
Corinne Rodrigues´s Last Fabulous Post ..Finding Meaning & Purpose — Step 2
Corinne,
Sometimes this stuff take a while to really “get”!! And you know…I know that I still have moments where it doesn’t go quite as I’d like — when I screw up. It still sometimes takes me a while to fully brush off and get back out there…
Laughing at ourselves…there’s a whole lot of truth in how therapeutic that is!!
Here’s to living life, screwing up a bit…and then moving on to even greater places!
Hi Lance,
I can feel the feeling of the woman in the first photo. Who hasn’t been there? I screw up a lot less as I age but maybe that’s not a good thing! It could mean less risks and adventure…
Tess The Bold Life´s Last Fabulous Post ..Powered by Intuition with Angela Artemis
Tess,
Yes…that feeling of despair (I’ve certainly been there). And it’s not a fun feeling. Life has it’s up and downs, though…and when we see that…and then embrace all that life gives us (or that we give to our life)…we really can move on to greatness within ourselves.
Hmmm…I happen to think you’re one smart cookie…and doing some pretty awesome things (and well!!)!!! Keep on rockin’ it!!
Hi Lance…its the first time reading here at The Jungle of Life…
Thank you very much for this post. I tend to be ssoooo hard on myself for simple screw ups and end up blaming myself so much.
Thank you for reminding me that i am just human!
I liked the observation you made about your son, he immediately got up without no dwelling on the actual fall.
Again, thanks for all that you share!
Clau,
Welcome! It’s great to have you here!
I know what you mean — I can tend to do that, too…become too overly critical of myself when I screw up. And the truth is — many times, these screw up lead to even greater things (realizations about myself, moving beyond fears, learning new things, etc). And that really is all good stuff!
Yep…you and I (and everyone else here!)…we are definitely just human!!
Thanks for the visit!
I love that story, Lance. You can’t keep a good man (or kid) down! It just shows the natural, soaring spirit that is within us all. To say “poor me” and feel like a victim is something we have to learn how to do… it’s not natural. Nature intends for us to bounce back up and get on the “bike” again and express our indomitable SELF.
Rob,
Yep!! I happen to think he’s a pretty good kid!! We are ALL meant to soar!! That does mean, though, that we’ll also fall now and then…in our moves toward more meaningful soaring. It’s all good, though — isn’t it!!
Here’s to bouncing back and moving on toward the amazing life that is within each of us!
Thanks for your creative way of reminding that it is progress, not perfection, that will get me there with a smile and willing hand to help others. What a lesson it’s been to admit a screw-up and keep going. Just like your wise young son.
Amy MacLeod´s Last Fabulous Post ..A Serious Letter to My Younger Self
Amy,
…and my “wise young son” doesn’t even realize his own wisdom. He’s just out there having fun, and living in that moment!! Now…if we can all do that just a bit more in our own lives…just think of how great that would be!!
Great to have you here today, Amy!!
I love this, Lance. You captured so well what so many of us miss. That we always, always have a choice how we proceed after a fall.
My heart is warmed from this inspiration from you and your sons.
Belinda,
Yes…as the wise Viktor Frankl reminds us all…we can always choose our response (I love that!!).
Thanks for being here, Belinda!
Another great post Lance… the quotes are great & that last one gets me thinking for sure!
We were watching that America’s Got Talent show the other night & there is this amazing ball room dancing couple that are KIDS!!! 12 & 13 years old.. they are just amazing to watch! Well, in the big finals, the young gal at the very beginning of their routine.. right at the beginning.. fell down the steps & immediately she was up & continuing on with their routine. This is the first mistake they ever made thru the show & it was the finals. The thing that struck me & I said it to my hubby right after that fall & before even the judges talked was that she got up & went on without as much as a beat.… she did not let it deter her.
She was crying after as the judges gave their talk but they all said what character it showed that she got right up & went on with a flawless routine. Amazing!
Maybe we lose some of this ability as we age.… we have to capture that youth again.…
Thx Lance!
Jody — Fit at 52´s Last Fabulous Post ..It Is All About the View — Weight Loss & Life Help
Jody,
I didn’t see the America’s Got Talent show — but did hear about the girl to fell. And — then — in front of so, so many people — she still performed such an amazing routine!! Wow!! Those were tears that were well-earned…and she truly showed her character and perserverance!
.…one of those kid-like qualities that is so worth holding onto…
It’s sure easy to feel embarrassed, especially if you think someone is watching you. When I’m watching me, depending on the “screw up” (cause that makes a difference), I either laugh or become annoyed with myself. Kids can sure teach us a lot, can’t they. Although… I have seen kids react to “mistakes” unfavourably, too. Maybe it not only has to do with their spirit… but in how their parents are raising them. Hats off to you, Lance.
Davina´s Last Fabulous Post ..Stoic & The Opening Line
Davina,
I know!! When we feel watched (on purpose, by chance)…this definitely can bring up feeling of embarrassment. (I’ve been there!) Still…the truth is…it happens to all of us (including those watching…). Hmmm.…and now.…to remember that as I go out and into my days!!
And thank YOU Davina!! You are way sweet!!
One of the great things that we can learn from kids (especially young ones, before they’ve unlearned their magic) is to not judge. A fall is just a fall. It’s neither good, bad, or a screw-up, really. It is just a fall and that is all it is. Things just are what they are, until we attach a judgement to them.
Kids are such wonderful teachers, aren’t they?
Rose´s Last Fabulous Post ..a little alone time …
Rose,
I love that you have brought up this concept of judging (or really … that we should not). I so completely agree with that — and yet — that truly is a part of this — we feel judged when we ‘screw up’.
It just is…wonderful, wonderful thoughts!
And yes, kids sure can be wonderful teachers…without even trying…
Absolutely AWESOME, thank you Lance. You are gifted and a gift! Good for your son…he sounds destined to follow in your footsteps
Naomi Estment´s Last Fabulous Post ..Seasons
Naomi,
You are way too sweet and kind!!! (…not that I’m complaining!!) Thank YOU!!!
And that’s you…shining your AWESOME out into the world!
So great to have you here!
Great post. Thanks for the reminder. I do think if someone fed the woman on the floor it might give her the strength to get up.
Erin S.´s Last Fabulous Post ..Who Will Answer
Erin,
Thanks. And you bring up a great point. If someone were to feed that woman (food, connection, care, love, etc)…that can really give strength. Something so worth remembering…
I used to be a big bully to myself. Actually I still can be, but it’s very much reduced. I used to yell at myself for every mistake. I’ve learned that this yelling killed my motivation. Now I’m much more gentle and compassionate with myself. I actually enjoy my work so much more.
Karl,
As we travel through this life, if we truly can learn a bit as we go…then what a great direction we are headed in. You are, Karl — and that comes shining through!
Here’s to making mistakes, and then moving on to the greatness that is beyond that!!
I love that story, Lance, and I could see your son doing what you described — unfazed! God bless him.
I’ve done some ridiculous things in my life, but have learned not to dwell on them. Once I screwed up at work and cost our firm a big job. Rather than wallow in what happened, I owned it, and learned how to be better as a result. On top of that, my brother once told me that managers don’t like people who never screw up because they don’t have the skills to recover from challenging situations. Amen!
Love to you, my friend! Have a beautiful weekend!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Simon Hay Starts US Tour in Rochester– NY
Hi Megan,
In a way, it seemed like he was proud of his falls (there were two). Like — “see, I was out there and having fun and trying something new”. Not — “I fell, so I shouldn’t do this anymore”.
I love that attitude!! (now…if I can just have that when I “fall”…)
And what a great example you’ve shared. And…because of that.. you are better!
Megan, I appreciate you so much! Thank you for writing, thank you for sharing a part of you, thank you for being in my life…
Big hugs on a wonderful weekend!
Lance,
I am so glad that I discovered your wonderful blog! What an inspiring post!
I find as I age I am much more gentle and sweet with myself. It sure feels good to be your own best friend! Thanks for your inspiration and keep writing! I will be visiting frequently.
Hi Brenda,
It’s great to “meet” you!! And it is wonderful to have you here!
When we age with wisdom, we do move more toward a place of more gentleness. And when we connect with ourselves more deeply, what a great place to be! From your words, I just feel this very much in you! what a gift that is!
In life, to be successful, one must learn how to fail. “Getting back up” is paramount in anyone’s ride to the top (no pun intended!).
Colleen´s Last Fabulous Post ..Pasco Chamber Of Commerce 2010 Sunshine Ball– Carnival on the Canal
Colleen,
That’s right!! Your words remind me of the life of Abe Lincoln…who failed many times…before becoming president of the United States!!
Here’s to reaching the top in all that our heart calls out…
I have a horse! There’s a saying, “Ain’t no horse that can’t be rode, ain’t no cowboy that can’t be throwed!” I don’t know about the first part, but my horse has proved the second part to me a few times. I’ve ALWAYS climbed back on and ridden home, cracked ribs or no. I don’t know if the horse appreciates me for that or not, but he has never run off after sending me skyward so I guess he expects me to cowboy up
Dr. J,
So…you’re a cowboy at heart!! And I grew up having a pony (and remember on more than one occasion, where I too ended up off that animal!). And that’s a great metaphor for life — getting back on the horse.…getting back out there…and truly moving beyond whatever has happened!
This is uncanny Lance. This same thing happened to me while running a trail in Nature this past week.
On one level, we could say that we screwed up. On another level, we can say that we wished for this experience to happen so as to become more deeply aligned with our authentic self. Therefore, we can realize that everything has a purpose and that nothing needs to be regretted. It was what it was and can be embraced so the karma can be released. It is a cleansing where the lesson was internalized and absorbed back into the field of Love.
All is a process of awakening. When we are hard on ourselves, we are slow to wake up. When we ease up on our selves.…..we find ourselves floating to a lighter state of Being.
Bern,
That really is pretty uncanny!! And…I love how you’ve ended this. It truly is awakening…awakening to our deeper being — when we get back up — and move forward with love and care…
I seem to always get back up when I get kicked down in life, even though sometimes it takes longer than other times. And I get a lot of practice doing embarrassing things, too. I’m a little klutzy. I crash into things all the time — walls, desks, car doors… And sometimes someone happens to see me klutz out. Not much I can do but laugh with them.
Sahar,
Hey, we should get together!! I’m pretty good at that klutzy thing, too!!!
Laughter will be the spoken language.…
…and that is just way cool!!! (just like YOU!)
Hi Lance!
Appreciate you sharing this story here. Yes, we DO choose our response, and Viktor Frankl is the ultimate example in that. I use the 7 Habits principles with my clients, and my favorite of all the habits is that Habit One: Be Proactive. I always remember Stephen Covey saying that if you don’t “get” that you are in charge of your life and you have the power to choose…you might as well forget about the rest of the habits. Amen!
Thanks for the inspiration today.
Michelle @ Following Your Joy´s Last Fabulous Post ..What’s Your Favorite Way To Party
Michelle,
I can’t fully grasp what Viktor Frankl endured during his time in the concentration camps. And still.…just knowing (to some extent) what he experienced, and yet how he was able to choose his response…it reminds me that I’m in a whole lot better place…in choosing my response…
And — I love the 7 Habits book. So much good stuff in there by Mr. Covey!!