Bring the Give…To You

by Lance Ekum on · 34 comments

It's a Wednesday evening.  There's a crispness in the air, as the temperature flirts with freezing.  It's a good night for a sweatshirt, maybe a blanket, some hot cocoa perhaps…

And it's a good night to give…to you.

We lead busy lives.  All that STUFF we have going on EVERY day.  All wrapped around some sleep in there there someplace.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I'm busy – the status symbol of success.   ?

Whoa!

Has it come to that?

The truth is – I know that I have, on more that one occasion, pulled out that "I'm busy" card (and felt that there was some level of status in that).

It's easy.  Because the truth is – we ARE busy!  And even if we're not – it's still not too difficult to occupy our time with those non-important and non-urgent activities that make us "look" busy (or like we're just trying to get a short break in the busy-ness of our lives…).

Lets' call this for what it really is – we "allow" ourselves to be busy.

And in the DOING of this – we are, at our core, neglecting something very important.

Neglecting Ourselves. 

In the pretense of our busy lives – we neglect to take care of ourselves.

By the time all of our busy commitments are done – what's left?  What's REALLY left?

Is there time to just BE with YOU?

Is there?

And are you?

No phones. No television. No running to that next activity. 

Just – time to be still.  (whatever that idea of "be still" is for you)

Time – for YOU.  Not because you should.  Not because you need to fill a time-chunk in your calendar.  Not because it looks good.

Do it because your life is precious…meaningful…real… (it is)

Do it because you don't know that tomorrow brings… (we don't know)

Do it because you are worth it… (you are)

30 Day Challenge:  Make time – each day.  Now – give that TIME to YOU.  This can be a bunch of different possibilities:  morning meditation/quiet time, a walk around the block, resurrect (or start a new) hobby, read a book, exercise, "play" outside, etc.  You get the idea – this is about deliberately choosing to give time to yourself.  DAILY.  And you are doing this – because YOU choose to.  Remember: you are doing this for YOU.  Choose, with meaning, what this will be.  And then – commit to GIVING to YOU – for the next 30 days.


by Lance Ekum

Lance writes stories from his heart, aiming to inspire and motivate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he's not here, you can find him hanging out with his family, riding a bike, or just generally acting goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Treehouse newsletter and get additional inspiration in your email inbox!
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Chrysta Bairre December 1, 2011 at 8:26 am

Thanks for this great reminder to take some time out just to be each day. A favorite mantra of mine is, “I am a human being, not a human doing.” Of course sometimes I am a human doing and I’m so busy doing I forget to simply be.

Have a grateful day!

Chrysta
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Lance Ekum December 1, 2011 at 8:37 am

Hi Chrysta!!
Thanks for being here – and for sharing your mantra. YES – we are human BEINGS!! Now…to hold ourselves to that space… {it’s a work in progress for me…that’s for sure!}

Happy December…and beyond!
Lance

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Lynn December 1, 2011 at 10:02 am

This is an excellent month for such a challenge. I’m in!
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:20 am

Awesome, Lynn!!! Woohoo!!!

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Melody | Deliberate Receiving December 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I’ve adopted a mantra from Abraham-Hicks: “Nothing is as important as that I feel good.” And I’ve really tried to make that a priority. So, if I have to clean the house but also need to do some energy work because an issue has me down, I’ll do the energy work.The house will not fall apart if I push the cleaning, but I will suffer for the rest of the day or even longer if I don’t take care of myself. Making how I feel a priority has caused a major shift in how I view myself. I am important enough to warrant this kind of attention. I no longer put myself last (which usually means my needs never got met because I ran out of time before I got to me.)

In fact, you know what? I think it’s a fabulous time for a nap. 😀

Hugs!
Melody
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:24 am

Melody,
Mmmm….I love this, and how you focus on YOU first! When we don’t put focus on our own self-care, it is exactly as you say – we run out of time, and it just doesn’t happen (or happens haphazardly).

And the house…yes, it will not fall apart if not cleaned! (and…sometimes I think maybe some of the dust bunnies hold our house together!!)

How was that nap?? (divine..I’m guessing!)

Big, big hugs back to you!
Lance

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Sara December 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Lance,

I’m in like Lynn:~) This is good post for this time of year. Things can get crazy, tempers can flare and we start running around in circles trying to make holiday.

To be honest, I already spend a certain amount of time each day…well, almost each day out on my porch watching the food fest at the bird feeder with my cat (she’s behind the screen of the porch:~) There’s something so wonderful about wings lit up by the setting sun and the busy mouths eating seeds and peanuts or taking a dip in the bird bath. I forget all about the things I didn’t do or need to do in those “sitting on the porch” moments. I will do this, however, for 30 days in a row.

Thanks for this dose of calm sanity:~)
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:27 am

Sara,
It’s so great to have you here today!!

And – what a very wonderful story to share! Moments, just being – so good. And nature (and her gifts) – when we just let that penetrate our soul…it is good beyond words.

Yay! May this next month – you on your porch – be filled with a new calmness and a continued wonderment of our amazing world…

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David Stevens December 1, 2011 at 7:46 pm

I’ve already started ‘the challenge’ Lance. Giving is so important. I find when giving to myself I can easily give to others.
Being “busy” is a status for many as well as a fact of Life for many as well…..it can also be an excuse, subtle as it may be however an excuse none the less. Thank you for this important message.
be good to yourself
David
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:30 am

David,
Such a great point – that our busy-ness can become an excuse – for many things (the more important but less urgent).

So…may your month of December be filled with continued moments of self-giving…and the clarity that comes from that.

Great to have you here sharing your thoughts.

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Ajen December 1, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Hi Lance- I guess we are cruising the same wavelength today. A few hours ago this evening I started practicing guided imagery. I have decided to do this as means to clear my thoughts after working on projects for my academic program. I am already loving the results from the guided imagery session. It is like having a bit of Cadbury chocolate after a quite Friday night dinner. yummmm…
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:32 am

Ajen,
I’m loving being on the same wavelength as you…and when you throw in some chocolate along with that – double YUM!!!

How awesome that you are doing some guided imagery – it can be so meaningful and provide new clarity in our life journey. It’s been a while since I’ve done that – and now you have me thinking about bringing that back for me, too!

Have a super weekend!!

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Joy December 1, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Hi Lance,
I love this idea..just being with me..for me. I think so often we are ‘afraid’ of silence/stillness because we are not being “productive” or using our time wisely. The best way to know my self is to be with myself, no distractions or filler..Thank you for this beautiful reflection!

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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:34 am

Joy,
So true – quiet time can easily seem like unproductive time. After all – to the outside world, it looks like we’re not getting anything done (and we look at ourselves from that perspective, too). The truth is, though, that by taking that inner time – we only strengthen our outer world journey. And that…is time so, so well spent.

Thanks for being here!

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Jean Burman December 2, 2011 at 7:32 am

I love this challenge Lance! Thank you for suggesting it. I’m in. And actually started yesterday [which is really weird because I’m only just reading this now] … but yesterday I took myself off for some pampering. Something I rarely if ever do. Now I feel amazing. But it’s funny how the guilts creep in as well… taking all that time [1 hour] for me and only me LOL

Thanks for the reminder Lance 🙂
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Lance Ekum December 2, 2011 at 7:38 am

Jean,
Mmmm…pampering!!!

I’m reminded of a massage I had (wow…over a year ago, now!) and how I did feel guilty about that, too – here I was, indulging myself…when there were so many other things that I could be doing.

The thing is, though – when I finished – I felt so relaxed, so refreshed, so renewed.

So, I’m glad you took that hour for yourself, Jean – even if you did feel a little bit guilty. Because you ARE amazing!!

Happy sunshine and moonbeams,
Lance

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susan December 2, 2011 at 8:38 am

Hi Lance! Oh excellent choice of a challenge and a perfect time to start – if you aren’t in it already! Looks like you are getting lots of takers on this – that’s great!

Aging teaches one a lot of things – one really important thing is to use your time and energy wisely. You can look back on a lot of years of “busy-ness” and wonder just what in the heck that was all about anyway. Did it make you a better person? Did it make your relationships work better? Was it really worth the exhaustion? Who/what benefited from your stress? I could give you 100 more questions.

The time you take right now – every day – to allow yourself peaceful moments, to relax, or meditate will seriously add years to your life, AND improve your health! When people tell me they don’t have time for this “stuff” I’m so tempted to send them sympathy cards with a reminder that you don’t get time back – there are no do-overs or rewinds.

You do so much here to show people how to be conscious participants in this life game! Many blessings on you for all of it! Love you to pieces, big guy!
Hugs
SuZen
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 10:24 am

Suzen,
Hey question girl – 100 questions…now that would DEFINITELY keep me busy!!!

“No rewinds”…Suzen, that is so true. I’m thinking about a friend who recently passed away unexpectedly at 44 years old. It was a stark reminder of just how precious (and fleeting) life is. So…how are we truly choosing to spend our days here on earth?

I’m grateful for your presence here, and for the gift of your beautiful soul in this world…

xoxo,
Lance

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Debbie @ Happy Maker December 2, 2011 at 9:50 am

Thanks for the reminder Lance. Taking time for ourselves is very important. I have to say that I do do this. After dinner is done in the evening, shut everything down. The last 2 hours before bed are mine. I either watch my favorite TV show or I read.
Thanks for the remind.
Debbie
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 10:30 am

Debbie,
It’s so, so good to read this…and to see your words of DOING this. Taking time – deliberately – for ourselves, is such a good thing for our souls…

Great to have you here -and for the wisdom you share…

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Evelyn Lim December 2, 2011 at 10:22 am

It is true. We tend to fill our days with far too many activities than we can cope. I have to confess that my plate can get rather full. Yet, I recognize the importance of setting aside time. Because only when we set aside time for ourselves do we give ourselves the opportunity to recharge and have the energy for the rest of the day.

Thank you for your beautiful messagel! Thumbs up to the suggestion to make time for myself each day!
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Evelyn,
Mmmm….I can relate. Some days – they seem jam-packed. Still…we can always choose to set aside some time – even just a few minutes – and that can make all the difference.

I know how much you value self-care, so I also know that you are committed to taking care of you – and, Evelyn, that’s a gift you bring to the world. Thank you for being love and light in this world…for yourself…and for all those you touch (me included).

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Amy@souldipper December 2, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Praise to the Universe, Lance!

Halle – hopping – lujah!

This message is popping up all over and it’s so needed. All our technology is driving us into everywhere else but HERE.

Many thanks for this great article.
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

Amy,
It’s so GREAT seeing you here today!!! Yahoooo!!!!

And…your energy (the “hopping” part especially) is catching!!!

Let’s set aside all of our tech devices…regularly…and just be.

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Eileen Thai December 3, 2011 at 9:44 am

Eventhough I am a semi-retiree, the internet (email, Facebook, twitter, games, and what have you) takes up most of my time. I make a point to take a break and walk away from the computer. I make a point to do the following:
– Exercise for 10 minutes after getting out of bed
– Spend some time with your love one watching a movie/show, and doing some exercise like taking a walk around the neighborhood.
– Create something delicious in the kitchen
– Take advantage of nice weather to go hiking or exploring your hometown.
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 11:03 am

Hi Eileen,
Welcome to the Jungle! It’s great having you here!

That’s it – actively choosing something that has meaning for us – and really connecting with that.

Sounds like you are doing this very well – so, so awesome!

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Jody - Fit at 54 December 3, 2011 at 12:30 pm

YES to this & so hard for many. I recall when I was working 60++++ hours & with that & regular stuff, did not do it. It is so important…. even 10 minutes helps! 🙂
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Lance Ekum December 3, 2011 at 7:48 pm

It doesn’t take much, does it – 10 minutes can do wonders for our souls!!

Thanks for being here!

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Lea December 4, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Good challenge, I think I’ll try it. I haven’t had me time in so long.
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Lance Ekum December 5, 2011 at 5:51 am

Great to have you on board with this, Lea!!

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Tess The Bold Life December 7, 2011 at 7:12 am

Lance,
I’m starting my 30 days today. I was missing my me time in the wedding craziness. Can you hear me exhale? xo
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Lance Ekum December 8, 2011 at 8:03 am

Hey Tess,
Yay!!

And…that wedding craziness (for your daughter)…was really so, so cool!! Runnin’ for love….

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rob white December 7, 2011 at 8:21 am

I love this, Lance… “those non-important and non-urgent activ­i­ties that make us “look” busy” will doubtless fill our lives if we allow them to. Most folks prefer to give the illusion they are up to something important, when the reality is they are simply distracting themselves from the real business of LIVING. Time will expand or contract to accomodate our level of focus. When I am working, I take Atomic Action. When I am not working I want to maintain the same level of focus and awareness on the poetry of life that is going on around me.
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Lance Ekum December 8, 2011 at 8:07 am

Rob,
Mmmm…that illusion of doing something important…

It’s so, so prevalent. And the thing is – the more we “live” this illusion – the more the “moment” we are in becomes less a part of our focus – and we miss out on the true beauty of that very moment…

Thanks Rob – your thoughts add real meaning for me…

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