Like many people, I can never seem to find enough time to do everything that I need and want to do. With only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, there is no way to squeeze it all into my life.

On a daily basis, I find myself struggling as to what aspect of my life I should focus my attention: preparing healthy foods, educating my son, learning how to save money and make money, enriching my prayer life, exercising, spending time with friends and family, and practicing my various hobbies. All of these are important, but by attempting to focus on all of them, I spread myself too thin.

So how do you determine what to focus on in life? To find an answer, you must first answer a series of other questions.

Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Am I Experiencing Anything That Is Life-threatening?

Obviously, if you are in immediate danger, you’ll be attending to that issue, but this question goes much deeper than that. Is there anything that is going on in your life that is going to harm you if you don’t deal with it? For example, do you have a serious medical condition that requires attention?

Consider your eating and exercising habits, as well as your mental and overall health by going to your physician for a preventative care check-up. Your doctor will be able to tell you if  you are at risk for any potential health problems and what you should focus on now to prevent them. If your doctor tells you that you are overweight and have high blood pressure and cholesterol making you at risk for heart disease and diabetes, you need to focus on making lifestyle changes now in order prevent these life-threatening conditions.

2. Are My Relationships Strained?

You may be experiencing various forms of stress in your life, but if you do not have someone whom you trust and who you know will stand by your side, you will be a lot less capable to take on the challenges of daily life. As communal beings we need each other for moral and physical support. Without a support system, we often become unmotivated and depressed.

If you find yourself saying “yes” to this question, aim your focus at repairing tense or broken relationships, especially with your spouse. This can be particularly uncomfortable if you are dealing with financial infidelity in your marriage, but be the bigger person by making the first move.

3. Are My Finances Suffering?

Once you know you are physically healthy and that your relationships are healthy, ask yourself if your finances are healthy. You can do this by examining the following:

• Do you have a budget you follow?
• Does your income exceed your expenses?
• Are you saving for retirement?
• Are you debt-free?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, fantastic. If not, then it’s time to get to work on a personal budget. You may also want to consider ways to make extra money in order to pay down debt, build up your savings, or prepare and plan for retirement.

Once you have a handle on your finances, you can then switch your focus to thriving financially. Perhaps you may even want to start thinking about how to become a millionaire!

4. Is There Something I Could Learn That Would Enrich My Life?

I love to learn new things, and there is often so much on my “to-learn” list that I don’t know where to start. So not only is there a question of if I should focus on learning something, there is also the question of what I should focus on learning.

The best way to approach this is to first consider learning about anything that will enrich your quality of life. Perhaps you can learn something to help you save money, such as couponing, cooking more nutritious foods, or starting your own vegetable garden.

Also consider learning things that could enrich your spiritual or prayer life; this will bring you peace and may even be another way to discern where to direct your focus.

5. Where Do I Want to Be in Five Years?

Really, the question is, what do you want to do with your life? Is there a new career that you would like to pursue? If the profession requires schooling, training, or experience, you will need to devote some of your focus to getting that process started.

Is there a goal that you would like to reach? One of my goals is to run a full marathon at some point in my life. When the time is right for me to achieve that goal, I’ll need to make the training my focus.

6. What Are My Passions?

We only live one life, so don’t waste your time on things that do not matter to you. Does it really matter that you watch that TV show? Do you really need to spend an hour on Facebook checking the statuses of your former high school friends?

No, you don’t. You need to get up, get out, and start living. Figure out what really matters to you and make those things your focus. Don’t waste your time and energy on things that you will regret.

Final Thoughts

It can be overwhelming to think about all the ways you can spend living your life, but the key is to focus on the most important things while letting the rest fall into place.

Once you have a handle on areas of your life, such as your health, your relationships, and your finances, expand your focus to include goals and passions. Don’t overwhelm yourself by taking on too much, and know that each potential focus has its time and place.

What are you focusing on in your life?

“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I have Greg Ryan with us.  I met Greg in June of this year, during our time together working on the play “Our Town”, which we both performed in.  Greg is here, sharing what this acting experience has meant for him.

Greg and I had a couple of scenes we were in together, and I’m really tempted to keep calling him Mr. Webb (his stage name)!

With that…Greg (errr…Mr. Webb), take it away!

An Actor’s Experience

Community Theater is an odd bird.  Some people don’t consider it “real theater” because it’s not performed on one of the big-name stages.  The productions are often found in high school auditoriums or back-rooms that you could walk right by if you weren’t looking for them .  This production of “Our Town” was at SummerStage, an outdoor theater in the middle of Lapham Peak State Park, about 30 minutes outside of the Milwaukee area.  It’s a lovely theater, but it’s definitely in an odd location off the beaten path.

Even though I’m over 50, I’m still relatively new to acting. So when a director casts me I experience a flurry of emotions.  I’m initially flattered since the director is essentially trusting me with the production. In my short tenure, I’ve seen firsthand how one actor can jeopardize an entire production. This memory helps the flattery to fade and I turn my attentions to my next emotion: worry.  Can I actually do it?  Can I memorize my lines?  Can I really BE this other person?

Underneath all these questions is the reality that I’m putting much of the rest of my life on hold during weeks of rehearsal and, finally, the play’s run.  For the next two months or so, many evenings and
weekends revolve around the stage.  Actors spend less time with friends and family; even their careers can get upstaged.  Will this decision affect their long term relationships?  My wife wasn’t all that happy when I took this role because she felt that summer is such a long-awaited time in Wisconsin and we’d miss out on activities we’d normally do together. Luckily, after she observed me falling in love
with this play, she became more understanding and supportive.

Of all the plays I’ve acted in, none have made me think more about being human than Our Town.  It’s rather amazing, considering that during the read through I thought it came off as corny and dated.  But
the more I rehearsed and saw my fellow actors assuming their roles, the more I realized that the play is timeless.  Sure, some of the words we spoke may have been from the early 1900’s but the thoughts
that they expressed still ring true today.  How do you feel about a newborn baby?  Or when you discover that the person you love actually loves you back?  How would you feel if both your children died before
you did?

Connie Gehl, the actress who played my wife in “Our Town,” needed to cry during the performance.  Her sorrow was so convincing that I, as her husband, was compelled to comfort her so she was not alone in her grief.  Her performance pulled me in and, I believe, helped me truly embody my part as Charles Webb.  It was just one of the wonderful aspects of this production.

Memories and Emotions

I’d like to share two more wonderful memories of this show.  I was moving furniture from the stage to another building.  One of the younger actresses stopped me and we chatted pleasantly for a moment.  She said that she just loved interacting with all these creative people and she obviously was including me.  Still feeling like a newcomer to the theater, I was inwardly surprised and flattered.  Am I actually an actor?  I guess I am.

The other moment occurred during the wedding scene.  I play the father of Emily, the hesitant bride.  At the beginning of the scene, she’s scared and looks to her father for reassurance.  After a little
father-daughter chat, I kiss her forehead, drape her veil over her head and walk her down the aisle.   Well, I walked my own daughter down the wedding aisle about three years ago.  This is a privilege
that fathers of girls have enjoyed for centuries and it may be the only time I ever do that in real life.  But because of this play, I was able to relive the experience during every performance.   And my
“real” daughter saw the show, too.

When a show ends, I experience more emotions.  Sorrow that the production is finished.  Perhaps, relief too.   I commuted about 40 minutes to the venue, but the majority of the actors live out in the
Delafield area so I may never work with or even see many of them again.  I’m wistful when I realize that these people have passed through a brief part of my life.

Although I do feel sorrow,  gratitude is the emotion that over rides all the others.  I’m grateful that Diane Powell cast me in this play.  I’m grateful that I was able to work with Ethan, Mason, Amanda,
Connie and Lance as well as the rest of the cast and crew.  I’m grateful that we had good weather for all of our production dates. I’m grateful to the audience who usually laughed at the right times. I’m grateful to my body and brain for hanging in there and allowing me to physically and mentally handle the part.  I’m grateful to my wife, Brooke, for supporting me in a very personal endeavor.  I’m grateful to Facebook because it allows me to know some new friends even if they turn out to be temporary.

Well, on to the next audition.  I’ve just been cast in a new one act play, but I’m confident that this production of “Our Town” will stay with me until I play in my own real life funeral scene.

You can keep up with Greg at his personal website — Our Next Thing, and on Facebook.

photo credit: Kendra Infinity

“Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.”~ St. Francis De Sales

On a recent trip to my cousin’s place, who I met after many years, we talked and giggles like we were kids. Neither of us felt any older than those days we used to play in the rain and create havoc during summer break. All of us lived in different states/countries but would come together to Mumbai,India for the summer. Its still essentially the same situation, except now we have our own little ones roaming the rooms.

Battling Body Image Issues

In most of these trips and even in my regular life then, I was constantly battling body Image issues. You see, I have always always been on the plump side. I don’t ever remember being thin. That in itself had never been the problem. The problem was when I would be given free flowing, no hooks barred advice at every nook and corner about how I should lose weight. Living in a home, where each parent had completely different approaches to the way things are supposed to be, didn’t make it any easier. One would constantly keep vigil of my intake, while the other couldn’t bare the thought of his child being so worried about what she ate.

This tug of war culminated into such a massive problem for me especially as I entered my teens. Suddenly everything and everyone was about looking “perfectly media good”. Walk like someone, look like someone, talk like someone other than yourself and you could be the IN teenager. I became that. Although I was still battling the way I saw myself, I put up a brave front and laughed. I was the life of every party, and yeah had the handsomest guys ask me out. Was all this making me feel better? NO! It was actually deepening the problem I had with myself and pushing it deeper into my soul…until I was so so deeply scarred. Scarred enough to make horrid decisions I still regret. I keep thinking now…”how could I have been so stupid?”

I still remember how I would cry to sleep every night, because I didn’t like who I had become, but felt it was the Only choice I had to be accepted.

Becoming The Real Me

There came a point, when the self annihilation had started, that I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. In those days, I came face to face with questions of purpose. In my most low states I could hear a voice inside me ask me, “Is this what you want to BE? Who are You REALLY? ”

It was only when I met my spiritual teacher, at the age of 16(almost 17), I realized how awesome it could be to be Me. The Real Me. There was this woman, right across the room at a social gathering, who I couldn’t stop looking at. She was simple, neat, smiling and extremely loving. She wore simple clothes, no frills, no makeup, no pretentiousness whatsoever. I was so drawn to this woman. She somehow looked like she glowed. I still think she does. She introduced me to my soul. And for that I remain eternally indebted to her. She guided me, taught me lessons from religious scriptures. Showed me the light, so to speak.

As I dwelled into religion, spirituality and all things Divine..my mind, my body, my heart all came to a certain calm. I realized that I am meant to be a certain way. It felt right. That is my unique gift. The physical body issues began to heal. As the issues healed, a warm more loving me emerged. A Me even I am sometimes flabbergasted by. I stopped crying to sleep, I stopped hurting myself, I stopped being someone I was not.

The relief of letting those masks go, was like taking off a huge mountain from my shoulders. I never felt lighter, freer than I did in that moment.

Yes, not all people in my life were fully happy with this transformation, but they came to accept a happier me.

TODAY

Today, I’m still plump. But happily so. I love myself and things about this self. Dimples, warts, moles, crooked teeth, the not so perfect figure.…I love it all. It keeps me real. I live a very simple but content life today.I am healthy. I walk, do yoga, exercise, eat right, smile, help others heal, help souls become whole and happy. So I’m plump. Big Deal!(smile)…More of me to love More of every other soul in this Universe with

I do hope I can instil the same simplicity, love and calm in my little girl. As she grows up, I keep thinking, she will go through some of the anxiety of peer pressure, society pressure to look or be a certain way. But I know I will be with her every step of the way, telling her just how Beautiful she is just as she is. She need never be anyone else!

May we all Happily embrace our awesome and very real selves. Its one of the most imperative steps in understanding and living in constant happiness. Knowing and trusting the Divine Plan and living in the flow of it makes living blissful. Nothing and I mean nothing can get you down then.

Today(literally) as I met my cousin, she said, “We were such goofballs in our teens na. You are still a goofball, naughty as ever, but you seem genuinely Happier now. What did you have an epiphany or something?” I kinda did and I completely agreed with her, while I baked and we ate home made veggie pizza with all our kids.

A positive affirmation I use when I feel a whiff of old imagery coming along.… “I am Awesome. I am Beautiful. I am a divine creation full of amazing mastery.” Heart *Smile*

Zeenat is the founder and writer of the blog ~Positive Provocations~ Healing You Completely with Positivity, Love & Happiness!. A Practicing Counseling Psychologist/Spiritual Counselor/Motivational Speaker/Naturopath by profession (since the past 10 years) and Spiritual Traveler & Writer by passion.
Zeenat is also an eternal student and researcher of the school of life and all its realities. A constant learner in the fields of Metaphysics and New age Thinking. 

The story Liv shares below very much touches upon choosing beauty, and how we can all choose to see that in our daily lives.

For those of you who are bloggers, in the video Liv and I dig a bit more into her upcoming e-course, How To Build A Blog You Truly Love.  We both came into this video as video non-experts (yikes!) and there were a couple of technical difficulties which cut off the last few seconds of the video (in which Liv so graciously thanked me for our time) (and thank you, also, Liv!).

My Blog Transformed My Life

About Liv Lane

How To Build A Blog You Truly Love is a soul-stirring, blog-boosting e-course for anyone who longs to feel more inspired, excited and rewarded by their adventures in blogging. Led by inspirational speaker, radio personality and veteran blogger Liv Lane of Choosing Beauty, you’ll be lovingly guided through an innovative process of self-reflection and in-depth learning. Over the six-week course, you’ll develop your own unique blogging blueprint — designed to help you achieve sweet success and deep fulfillment for years to come. Plus, gain exclusive access to Liv’s interviews with more than a dozen superstar bloggers on how they’re rocking the blogosphere and livin’ the dream.
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Special: Sign up here for 20% off this six-week course (starting June 5th).  I’ll be at this course both as a participant and a contributor!
 

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Earlier this month I wrote about my word of the year for 2011 (SHINE).  This has become a very meaningful practice, as I really focus on one word, at a deeper level.  As meaningful as this has been, it is also a wonderful experience for me to reflect back on the previous year, and really “see” how that chosen word manifested itself in my life.

Today I’m doing exactly that, as I review 2010, and my word that I chose last January:  SPLASH!.

It’s an honor to be sharing these thoughts with Stacey Curnow, someone who really embraces the idea of living life from a place of deep meaning.  So, today I invite you to join me over at Stacey’s site, Midwife For Your Life, as I review 2010 and the word SPLASH in my life. 

Hint:  I don’t think any of my splashes looked exactly like that up above (although I certainly have some crazy kids around here who find that this is a great way to greet the water!)

~ Comments Closed ~

Life Happiness Lessons: What I Learned From a Duck

“The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.” ~ Mortimer Adler

Living on a waterfront, in a more natural environment, I have the pleasure to observe and interact with nature in many ways. Whether it is the sun, the wind, the water or any of nature’s immaculate living species — Nature is an amazing teacher. If we allow ourselves to fully see, hear and experience what she presents, we open ourselves up to a wise and infinite teacher.

In doing so, we open ourselves up to learning about ourselves, our environment and all that is in it. We invite into ourselves learning opportunities that can nourish our being and soul, and move us forward along the path of our personal growth and evolution. 

One of my most recent teachers has been a little visitor to our property, whom in allowing myself to observe, I learned more from, than perhaps any book or guru. I named our little visitor Ethel — and Ethel is a duck. I warmly share with you here today, in Lance’s wonderful space, four things that I learned from Ethel for living out a happy life.

1. Enjoy the Fullness of Each Moment
It only takes a few minutes of watching Ethel, to tap into a completely different space and time. A space in fact, where time does not exist — where there is simply — now — this moment.

Ethel knows how to enjoy her being, her life and her environment. She is never in a rush to do the “next” thing. She is fully immersed in being. She fully takes in each moment.  With Ethel, there is no multi-tasking. When she is swimming, she is in the moment of swimming. When she is grooming, she is fully focused on grooming. The same goes for her rest and feeding.  

May you always remember, to enjoy the fullness of each moment of your life. Each moment is precious and holds a gift for us, in what it can allow us to be, feel and experience.

2. Be Open To Receiving
On a few occasions, I allowed myself to offer Ethel some food. It was a personal experience that I felt was right for me, and allowed me to interact and connect with Ethel on a different dimension. Each time, Ethel received passionately.

How many times are you open to receiving, when another being is offering you their help, kindness, hospitality or any other positive gesture? How open is your heart to welcome in their personal expression of love?

May you always remember that ‘in giving, you receive’ — and ‘in receiving, you give’. It is only when we allow for this balance within our hearts, that we allow ourselves and others around us the fullest expression of love.

3. Have a Personal Enough
In those few times that I fed Ethel, one of the most remarkable things was watching Ethel know when she had enough. Ethel may not know when or where her next meal will come from, but she knows that filling up too much at one time, is not going to help her.

Do you have your own “enough”?  Whether it is having “enough” food, or drink or of an activity, a healthy balance is one of the surest way for a happy life. In our society, we are not always so good at our personal boundaries of “enough”. We overindulge in various things.

Whether it be something physical, emotional or spiritual, may you find that sacred space within of knowing when you have had “enough” — as overfilling on anything leads us out of balance, and away from living out the happiest life ever.

4. Know When To Move On
As of a few days ago, I stopped seeing Ethel, but I caught glimpse above head of the ducks flying off in groups. Ethel knew that it would not serve her to stay here forever. 

Although a long flight to a warmer climate is going to take time and effort, and the journey holds a lot of unknowns, Ethel knew that ultimately this would be for her highest good. She knew when her present environment no longer served her, and when it was time to move on.

In the same way, we can look at our own personal relationships and places where we reside. Are we open to change and knowing when it is time to move on?  Are we willing to embrace a bit of the unknown, to benefit our highest good?

Whether it is a relationship with someone, a workplace, a neighborhood or a personal venture, may you always know when it is time to move on for your highest good. Trust that in letting go and moving on, you too, will find ‘better climates’.

“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.” ~ Rachel Carson

You can keep up with Evita by subscribing to her blog, and following her on Twitter.

photo credit: misterbisson

“We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Note:  Please help me welcome Eduard Ezeanu, from People Skills Decoded, here today, as our guest writer.

We all want to progress, although some more than others. I believe that the attitudes and perceptions we have about progress determine to a large degree how effective we are in making progress and how much we enjoy it.

Here is one perception which a lot of us have engrained and it sabotages our lives: the perception that progress is linear. This means that consciously or not, we see progress like a straight road, which goes directly and smoothly to our destination.

So we expect to constantly make progress, and to make progress in the same degree in equal periods of time. In a way, applying this perception, we see a 10 year old person as twice what a 5 year old is and a 20 year old as twice what a 10 year old is.

I think this is a very stiff and unrealistic view of progress. Not even a tree grows like that, in a linear way. Why should we expect a human being to do so? If we want to truly embrace progress and have fun with it, we need to realize that progress is not linear. Progress is organic.

This mean that we may go through long periods with little progress, followed by periods of lighting fast progress, or periods when we regress, in order to create a context which allows even bigger progress than the previous one.

Here is one example I meet often in my coaching practice: people who advance in a certain professional field, until they reach a point when they no longer feel fulfilled in that field. Often, what they need to do is find a field which would be even more fulfilling for them, get in that field and grow in it.

The thing is, moving from a professional field in which you are at a very high level to a field which is new for you represents initially a form of regression. But it is this regression which allows you to make afterwards progress in this new field and reach heights you couldn’t have reached in the previous one.

In other words, you need to regress before you can progress again and maximize the use of your potential. It still amazes me how few people understand this at a deep level and are willing to do it.

Our linear views of progress often keep us stuck in a fear of regress, fear of change which in the end sabotages our progress instead of helping us. We try to grow constantly and smoothly, but we end up getting stuck and feeling sorry for ourselves. Unfortunately, this is the story of many people in this world.

I believe it’s fundamental for us to have a more plastic and realistic view of progress. To understand that it’s a tangled road rather than a straight one; that we sometimes need to distance ourselves from our destination before we can get even closer to it.

It is only with this kind of a view that we can learn to walk the tangled road of life, get to where we want and enjoy the journey as well.

Eduard Ezeanu is a communication coach with an attitude-based approach. He helps others to improve people skills they find relevant and get top notch results. He also writes on his blog, People Skills Decoded, and you can follow him on Twitter at @EduardSays.

I’ve known Keith for some time, and always find that he speaks very much from a place of deep personal meaning and care.  Today is no exception, as he takes a look at the ways each of us can lead…lead from a place of love.

Please read along, as Keith shares some very wonderful thoughts on how we can each make a difference, how we can each shine our own amazing light out into the world, how we can each be love in action…

Lead the Way

photo credit: somebody_

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” ~ Mother Teresa

We can look anywhere in the world — from our front door step to across the oceans, and see so much that is wrong, so much that needs to change, and so many people who live in disharmony.  There are bright spots out there too, many in fact, and we see them and think “I wish there were people around here who would do good things like that!”   I believe there are people like that everywhere, and all they need is to see someone actually doing good things, then they will happily imitate those actions.  If you see work that needs to be done, and love that needs to be shown, I encourage you to be that person who takes the first step.  Lead the way.
 

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~ Anne Frank

Imagine, for a moment, how our world would be affected if we not only loved others, but showed that love through our actions.  I’m not speaking of our families or other loved ones, but of coworkers, acquaintances and complete strangers.  It is a beautiful moment when we come to realize that we don’t have to wait for someone else to begin, or for some organization to take action.  We can be an activist for love and lead the way!  The world around you needs leaders, and not the sort of leader who is elected by popular vote, nor those who aspire to have power and recognition.  It needs leaders who love, and who are not afraid to show that love.  A true leader is someone who serves others selflessly, and who knows that the path to leadership is through the gate of servanthood.  If we are to see our world changed for the good, we must love and serve others.  Isn’t this what it’s all about?  Doesn’t it all come down to this?
 

“Everyone can be great, because everybody can serve” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

There aren’t “special” qualifications required to be an activist for love.  One has only to possess a genuine desire for the highest good for another person, and be willing to help them get it.  It may seem like a pipe dream to some, but I imagine a world in which everyone is loving and serving others, everyone being loved and served.  Perhaps the entire world will never realize this, but I want to find out just how much of it can be!
 

“It is not what we do, it is how much love we put in the doing.” ~ Mother Teresa

The thought of changing the entire world can be overwhelming, and at first glance, may seem a daunting task.  The good news is that we don’t have to change the entire world, at least not by ourselves.  Begin right where you are!  It doesn’t matter if you live in a city teeming with thousands of people, or in a rural community with only a handful of neighbors, start there!  Start with the people nearest you; show them that love is real.  Show them that there is hope and that there are people in this world who care, that offer a helping hand without asking for anything in return.

You may be wondering what it is that you can do to change the world around you.  There is so much to say about this that it would take volumes to even begin an explanation.  Know this, it does not have to be some grand gesture that ends up being reported on CNN.  It has been said that life is made up of “the little things” and that’s very true.  The same can be said about being an activist for love.  The smallest acts of kindness, born out of a loving heart, will echo through eternity.

Here’s an example from my own life.  Living just down the street from me and Jenny (Jenny is my most awesome significant other), is a nice older gentleman who is a widower. Recently, I came home and found Jenny preparing a plate of food.  I asked her what she was up to and she told me of this gentleman, whose wife died a few years ago, and who now lived alone with seemingly few visitors.  While walking the dog one evening she engaged him in brief conversation, during which he commented about never cooking because it was only himself at home.  This strummed Jenny’s heartstrings, and that’s why she was preparing him this plate of home-cooked food.  Jenny, her two boys, and I made the delivery.  The look in this man’s eyes, as he received this act of loving-kindness…well, it nearly makes me cry when I think of it.

That’s just one small example, and I know so many of you who perform such acts on a regular basis.  It is these seemingly small acts that are changing the world around you.  It is these small acts that make you an activist for love, a true leader. Besides, there is nothing small about causing a person to feel cared for, hopeful, important and loved. 

Keep up with Keith by subscribing to his blog, and following him on Twitter.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

A vacation!!  Now there’s something I really love!  It’s great to take a break from the daily things we do, and step into a different mode of living our life. 

Today I have a special guest with us, sharing a personal story of a vacation like no other.  Please welcome Farnoosh Brock, a wonderful friend here in this space and someone whose words always touch upon a deeper meaning within me. 

Farnoosh has created a vibrant space filled with her thoughts on life.  That space, Prolific Living, is one that touches upon the many aspects of truly living and being fully awake to what life is about.  And the thing is, from every interaction we’ve had, I just see this all so being a part of her being.  She truly lives what she writes, and that’s a beautiful thing to see.  

Sit back and let the words Farnoosh shares touch your soul too… 

A Vacation Of A Lifetime

Have you ever left to go on vacation, never to return home?

No?  Well, I have. The vacation of a lifetime, quite literally, with all its ups and downs, twists and turns, the unknown and the unexplored.

In the spring of 1986, my family and I left Iran for a real vacation, not just to the beach or the mountains of Tehran, but off to Turkey we went! At the time, Turkey happened to be one of the few countries not requiring a visa from Iranians. It was an easy choice. It was great a spot with all its beaches, attractions, delicious food — not as delicious as Persian food but we wanted variety – and great shopping. Plus, it would be my first international trip out of Iran. That meant: no hejab! I was free to wear what I want and at 11 years old, that was the biggest freedom of all. I exploited it (within limits of course, I was with my parents after all )!! Suffice it to say, this was very exciting for all of us, me, my brother, my expecting mom and my dad, the planner and the initiator among us!

Toward the end of our trip, my dad made an announcement. From the way he spoke and looked at my mom, I knew he had already discussed it with her. They are such a team, the two of them, even if they are complete opposites. That decision was made on solid ground. Sometimes, teamwork is imperative to your survival.

“We will be living in Turkey!”, he said, which opened a very interesting discussion, even though it was anything but a discussion. Really, the part about living in Turkey was not shocking altogether. Many, many Iranians had been fleeing Iran since 1979. However much you loved your country, opportunities and freedom beckoned you to make a choice, a difficult one, and many opted to leave Iran behind. We absolutely belonged in that category. I was rather excited.

Yes, we were going to live in Turkey and I was going to go to school to learn English and we would have a new life here together. It sounded wonderful. The part I missed in my Dad’s announcement was that we will not be going back at all. We had left Iran with exactly two suitcases for all of us. Only two! I shop a suitcase’s worth of nice clothes on a random trip these days, if the right mood strikes! But forget that. I had left Lucky, my beloved dachshund genius dog, with friends. I had not parted ways with my life, my school or my house, oh how I loved that house and how sorely I missed it through the years. I had not brought my “stuff” from my room. I had not said good bye to my girlfriends. I had not finished my “business” at 11 years old in Iran (mind you, I seem to have had some very clear ideas as to how I would have cleared all my “business” in order to leave the country but alas, it was not to be and I never did return, not to this day, not once).

I still remember our tiny hotel room where my dad made the announcement that changed the course of our lives forever. I remember the beds, the small balcony overlooking the garden of the hotel, the staircase, the outside and the shops. We ended up living in that room for 3 months with my pregnant mom when my Dad left to take care of some business back home. He was serious and we were all in this together as a family but we certainly wished that it had happened on other terms.

What followed after my dad rejoined us for good are three long hard and lonely years in three cities across Turkey. We learned Turkish (well, my parents refused to learn so my brother and I learned for all of us), we learned English (and thus my parents could no longer speak English in our company as their exclusive language), my little brother was born (we call him a Turk when we want to tease him), we learned that Ankara can get 4 feet of snow but you have to run in the snow if you miss the bus because school is on no matter what, and that it is not at all out of the ordinary for the electricity or the water or both of those necessities to stop working for hours at a time.

We learned that we are very different from Turkish people, even though they were extremely hospitable, kind and inviting; no matter, we had very few friends while living in Turkey. We learned that we can do anything together as a family, and it does not matter if we have to start all over again and struggle every day, so long as we had each other, we would be okay. We learned that we had no idea we would miss our family and our friends and our dog so much, and in a world without email or internet, distance really meant distance and it hurt. We learned that no house in the future will fill the void of 13 Lida Street ever again. We learned the price of freedom the hard way, and no matter how much of those years in Turkey I forget, those lessons are always with me.

In the 25 years since that decision shaped the course of our destiny, we have reached what I consider miracles of achievement and success in our respective lives. We are all happy and still a very tight family. We hardly ever talk about our time in Turkey anymore except to reminisce about a funny occasion here and there. In fact, I cannot wait to go back with my husband and visit the beautiful country which defined the initial meaning of freedom for me. Most of all, I do not live a single day where I forget to indulge in my beloved freedom, a freedom rooted in utter gratitude to my parents for the sacrifices they made.

Farnoosh started pursuing her passions only in the recent years where workaholism took a backseat and balance became a survival matter. She has a love for personal expression, writing, reading, traveling, yoga, Toastmasters, and self-improvement and explores these elements and more on her blog, Prolific Living. She is grateful to her friend Lance Ekum and thrilled to be contributing here to the fun Jungle of Life community.

You can keep up with Farnoosh by subscribing to Prolific Living, and following her on Twitter.

photo credit: TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³

“Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people’s souls.” ~ Melody Beattie

Healing.  What does that word mean to you?  Is this something that all of us can use, or more reserved for those times when we really have problems? 

Love.  What does that word mean to you?  Is this something that all of us can use, or more reserved for those times when we really need it?

Today I’m sharing about a very moving experience I’ve had recently.  An experience that touched upon a much deeper part of me…surrounded by healing and love.

Please join me over at Stacey Curnow’s site, Midwife for Your Life,  as I share a deeply personal experience I’ve had recently. 

Love’s Healing Power.

Stacey’s writing is very much focused around seeing all the good that is in our world.  I am uplifted every time I visit.

When not writing on her site, Stacey has a busy schedule — filled with her work as a midwife, and a thriving life coaching program she leads.  Outside of that, her family is very dear and special to her.

Comments are closed.

I approached Vanessa about sharing this part of her journey, and what love means to her, knowing fully that this is a subject that can sometimes be a challenging discussion.

Love.

And I wonder, who are we to judge another?  Who are we to think we have all the answers?  Who are we to question the deep longings and beautiful connections of two souls brought together?

So, it is with my deep gratitude that I share with you Vanessa, who she is, and what love is.  And, as I read this, I can only believe that my place is not one to judge another because they are somehow different from me.  In fact, as I think about this more deeply, are we not all different?  And are there not things in our heart that would speak love even more beautifully if we lived that place with even more compassion and care?

Vanessa, thank you for so openly sharing, and for speaking the truth in your heart.  You are a shining and beautiful soul, and it is an honor to have you here.

I Am NOT An Abomination

photo credit: indrarado

“We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved.” ~ Anonymous

I feel compelled to write about this due to the strong feelings associated with this topic:  HOMOSEXUALITY.  I don’t get angry about the topic much anymore, as much as become determined, almost indignant, on needing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this.  And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homosexuality is as natural in humanity as heterosexuality, even if I were not a lesbian.  But I am a lesbian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.

Now, I am not writing this post as a testament to what science is proving in terms of sexual orientation and genetics.   I am not writing this post as a way to quote passages of Scripture, to defend why they are misinterpreted.  I am writing this from a feeling, human perspective.  It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the personal perspective to the table, which is not always considered when the various sides of this issue take their positions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.

I feel firmly confident in the fact that God has created me, as well as millions of other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be.  I would, and do, believe that regardless if science seemed to indicate that there are genetic differences or not, that God meant for this to be.  I feel fully connected to God and to my spirituality, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay.  I am a kind, generous human being, I give willingly to others, I try to be fair and not wasteful, and I have a committed, lifelong partner whom I am devoted to.  We are raising a well adjusted, beautiful daughter and doing a fine job.  God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.

This is usually where the conversation goes to the area of “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of statements, referring to being gay as being a “choice” or “lifestyle”, and that we are “giving in” to “sinful urges” without restraint.  While I will not be discussing my own sexual behavior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sexual orientation, or in my case, being a lesbian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sexual behavior, sexual activity, sexual intimacy.  Yes, that is part of it in most of the couple relationships that I am acquainted with, as in most committed relationships.  That is PART of what connects two persons to one another.  But, think about it for a minute: when you meet someone that you know may be a significant person to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attraction?  Some of us have had the experience of being attracted to a person physically or sexually only, with nothing else much there.  That has not been my typical experience, and that is not what I am talking about here.  I am talking about falling in love, being attracted to a person on all levels:  physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, soulfully, prayerfully — the heart to heart connection that comes with those that we fall in love with madly.  THAT is what orientation is about.  If I were to describe a heterosexual orientation as only about sex, or sexual attraction or intimacy, I would be diminishing it and leaving out so much else that describes and defines a couple relationship.

And, just as there are messed up persons in this world who are heterosexual, married or not, so is the case in the homosexual world as well.  Not much difference there.  However, there are many of us that are monogamous, in committed, long term relationships, who are not unfaithful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God willing.  Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do intimately if we were allowed to be married?  If that were to sanction our committed relationship, then really, who would care how we conduct ourselves?  And, for those that think that the institution of marriage will be ultimately destroyed, and the foundation of our society shattered if homosexual persons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that marriage could use some help these days?  I mean, the most recent statistic is that almost half, if not half, of marriages end in divorce?  How can we worsen those types of numbers? Isn’t it remotely possible that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?

I know some people, many people actually, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in households and communities and churches, that told them that being a homosexual was against God, unnatural, and an abomination, and who believed it for much of their lives.  Some of those same people have had changes of hearts and minds over their lifetime, by realizing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist.  I am so grateful for those persons in my life.  I am so glad to know that instead of bringing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appreciation, compassion and joy at who I genuinely am.
 
I am gay, I am worthy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.

UPDATE:  The conversation on this continues, as Evita, from Evolving Beings, discusses Expanding Our Evolving Views of Homosexuality. 

Special note:  I am deeply grateful to Vanessa for sharing as openly as she has here, and for Evita beautifully sharing her compassionate views on sexual orientation.  It is with these conversations, that continued love and understanding can be more openly expressed in all aspects of our lives.  Thank you, both of you, for being light and love in this world.

Now there’s a FUN word!  Say it a couple of times.  See!!  Can you even say that word AND be grumpy at the same time?  I don’t think so!

To add to the silliness around here, today I have a special guest who will share four strategies she uses to bring out the silly!  Please welcome Joy Tanksley, from Being Joy.  I’ve only recently gotten to know Joy…and that name, Joy, is so fitting for her!!  Just look below at that FUN picture…now doesn’t that have JOY (and SILLY) written all over it!! 

Really, check out her site — it is chock-full of pure fun (like her dancing!!!). 

Today, Joy is not only wearing her bra in a different spot…she is also giving us all some great ways to get our own SILLY on!

Four Surefire Strategies for Getting Seriously Silly

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
’Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.
 ~ Shel Silverstein

Silliness is a virtue that is often overlooked and highly underrated. But I had the good fortune of learning its value from my incredibly silly mother. It would totally embarrass her if I told you that she would often perform the “gas ballet”, doing grande plies and dramatic leaps while making the unmistakable sounds of flatulence with her mouth. So I won’t tell you she did that. Suffice it say that silly is part of my pedigree, and, in my expert opinion, we could all benefit from being a little more absurd, foolish, and ridiculous on a regular basis.

Here are four of my personal favorite ways to get seriously silly:

1. The Jelly Butt Game
This must be done in a public place and with a person who is easily embarrassed. Without any warning, begin gently swaying back and forth and bending your knees. Exclaim, “Uh oh! Oh no! It happened! I have Jelly Butt!” At this point, move your body as if your rear end has turned into complete jelly. It’s best if you fall into your companion for support. But watch out! Jelly Butt is contagious. Your friend might someday return the favor by having a surprise attack of Jelly Butt at your expense.

2. Bark Like a Dog
If you haven’t tried this, it’s a must. I can’t tell you how good this feels. Let go of all inhibitions. Get LOUD. Try different types of barks – from yippy to bellowing. Throw your head back and bark your head off! This one is delicious when done alone but is also great with a group.

3. Foot as Telephone
The next time someone’s foot is within reach, make a ringing noise like a telephone. Then answer their foot. They will be totally caught off guard, and will likely begin laughing hysterically. Try to keep a straight face and carry on a one-sided conversation, such as, “Hello? Yes, this is she. No, I am not interested in taking a survey, thank you very much. Well, there’s no need to get snippy!”

4. Wear Underclothes on your Head
This is a classic for a reason. It’s pricelessly funny, and especially so when combined with a goofy dance. I’m a big fan of bras worn on the head, with the strap going down around the chin. Underwear works, too. And it doesn’t have to be yours.

I challenge you to try at least one of these techniques and see how it makes you feel. As the famous philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.”

Joy brings the silly, and all sorts of other great stuff at her insightful and fun blog, Being Joy.  Check it out today!

Silly Alert!  This weekend I’ll be in New York City, with The Levity Project, celebrating World Laughter Day!  And it’s not too late to join in.  The more the merrier (and sillier!)!!  To register for this free event, click HERE, or visit the link in the sidebar. 
 

A little bit about Dr. J, in his own words:
I am a Florida surgeon and fitness freak with a black belt in karate.  I run 50 miles a week and fly a Cherokee Arrow 200.  Of course it wasn’t always like this. I once had a carefree life, riding my bike, playing with my dog, but then school educated me and there was no turning back.

Eventually I had more letters after my name than in my name, a mortgage and a job at a major university with a lizard as its mascot and known better for it’s football team than most any other accomplishment. In my spare time I have added some skills which are both useful and fun, became a runner and found the Internet. Thanks to CalorieLab, I have been lucky enough to have been writing the Dr. J will see you now column for almost two and a half years. This has allowed me to go beyond the surgical arena and offer my irreverent, slightly irrelevant, but possibly useful opinions on life, health, and fitness.

A Brother’s Story

photo credit: Arwen Abendstern

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” ~ Michael Jordan

I don’t think anything can ever surpass the joy parents feel with the birth of a child! I know it was a special day for my parents when the J-Sister was born. My mom had several miscarriages prior to that blessed day as my folks wanted a girl to complete and balance their family vision, already having two driving-them-crazy growing young boys! Mom however was not able to conceive again. Because of this situation, there was a difference with this child, because unlike the random chance of my brother and I, the J-Sister was a chosen child.

Yes, she was adopted, although for all of us, this is merely a description, not an emotion. She was a lovely child, and unlike with my brother and I, those first few years were an effortless voyage for my happy parents. Then small differences began to arise. She was not talking as soon as my brother and I had, but then we were very early talkers. She was not responding as quickly to external stimuli as my brother and I had, but then we were boys. She was not the same as my brother and I, but then she was adopted and we were not. Eventually, however, the differences became too great, and the rationalizations became less comforting and answers needed to be found.

When my sister was four years old she underwent a very comprehensive evaluation of her situation and the result of this was that she was deemed mentally retarded, hopeless, and the recommendation was made to be prepared to institutionalize her for life because of her deficiencies and inability of be a normal person.

Whether retarded, or handicapped, or developmentally delayed, or any other politically or non-politically termed phrase is used, I can’t imagine it being any less devastating to a parent to hear that their child will never be normal.

I’m sure for my parents, that moment felt like a car going full speed and suddenly running into the side of a mountain! The thing was, my parents, with dreams shattered, faced this moment with a courage almost beyond what I can imagine. Rather than sit feeling sorry for themselves in that car wreck and settle for this diagnosis of hopelessness, they decided that it was their chosen mission to raise this child. My parents began at that moment, using every skill and facility that they could summon to aid in this unimaginable endeavor, to dig a tunnel through that mountain, though there was no light in sight in that slow moving burrow, yet they persisted with a consistent strong determination to get to that other side, that imagined better place.

So the process began, one vowel and consonant at a time, one button and button hole at a time, one shoe lace and one grommet at a time. I’m sure when Velcro came along my parents felt it was one of the greatest of humankind’s inventions!

With this magnificent effort, my sister began to show progress, albeit very slowly, but it was enough of a reward to help keep the process going.

As my sister’s abilities grew, she ventured out onto the street where we lived. I can sadly recall her running home, tears on her cheeks yelling with her limited vocabulary, “Yeve me ayone” to the neighborhood children who had noticed her difference, and she was different, as they picked on her without mercy. My brother and I had probably contributed previously, as any older brothers might, though not with cruelty, to her practice with that useful defensive phrase.

My parents stayed steady with that mission, spending every available moment working with my sister, finding schools and outreach programs that specialized for children with these obstacles. She eventually attended a special high school established by the Kennedy family in Hyannisport, Massachusetts, and went on to be married in Salinas, California, after meeting a young man in Oakland while attending a special program there. My wedding present for the happy couple was a honeymoon in Carmel, which I chaperoned for them. (very discretely I might add)

Today my sister is a completely self sufficient, fully employed, socially exceptional individual with numerous friends and accomplishments. Yes, she is still different, that can not be hidden, but it does not deter her. On a family vacation not that long ago, I personally witnessed her walk into a room with fifty people, and within 15 minutes every one of them knew her, and liked her!  She has not let her differences keep her from being all the person she could be. When we talk, I may mention some challenge or difficulty I am facing and it is not uncommon for her to say, “You can do it, J!” This coming from someone who certainly knows what it is to do it when only a select few believed in her.

So if you are thinking that, perhaps with your weight and fitness, or any other challenge that is in your path, that this mountain in front of you is insurmountable, think of that mountain that my sister climbed, and is still successfully climbing, and if you feel that you just can’t, remember her words to me, “You can do it,” because you know, like her, you really can!

Today I have Tess Marshall here, from The Bold Life, to share her wonderful writing.  Tess is filled with a deep love for life, and even beyond that — she has this real zest for the life she lives!  BOLD is a fitting word to describe the passion she has for truly living!

Please read along, as Tess shares…

Pockets of Paradise

photo credit: Witheyes

“A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

(This post was inspired by Ardath Rodale of Rodale, Inc.)

Do your remember when you were a kid what kind of “stuff” you’d put in your pockets? Things you wanted to treasure and put away for safe keeping.  I can remember stuffing my pockets with notes passed in class from best friends, a four leaf clover found at recess and chewing gum that wasn’t allowed. Precious things that defined my life as a kid…that’s what I stuffed in my pockets.

When I took out my spring sweater last week in the pockets I found a Starbucks gift card, missing earrings, and a peppermint…little pocket presents or surprises. Each treasure brought back a memory…and I smiled.

Everyday small miracles, delights and surprises fill our lives. I saw a lizard climbing the wall in my back yard today, my geranium had a new bloom and a morning dove was singing softly as I watered some flowers. These for me are moments of bliss…appreciation…mine for the keeping.  Today I’ll slip these pieces of paradise in my pockets.

On my quick 3 mile run this morning I felt spring in the air, birds chirping and bushes blooming. When I returned I made fresh squeezed orange juice with the oranges I bought on a nearby farm the day before.  I pocketed these everyday mementos as well. They help me feel all is right in my world.

Bits of paradise also come when someone tells you to “keep the change” or when you receive an unexpected text message from someone you love. I  also fill my pockets when I experience kindness, compassion and love.

My grandchildren and oldest daughter are coming for a visit over their spring break next week. From the moment we pick them up from the airport, until the day they leave, our home will be filled with their “big and happy” energy. We’re going to hike, swim, watch movies and eat ice cream. My pockets will be overflowing with mementos of laughter, fun and excitement. I ‘ll place the paradise experiences in my pockets to be emptied after they’re gone and all is quiet again. 

Daily we have numerous opportunities to give and receive experiences of love, joy and happiness. We can witness miracles happen in nauture. We be kind and loving to those around us. Noticing, appreciating and savoring paradise moments will make your heart happy.

Keep your everyday gems and treasures in make believe pockets. Carry them with you always. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world!

Please share with us what bits and pieces of paradise you have in your pockets today.

About Tess

Tess Marshall is the mover and shaker, at The Bold Life, where she’ll hold you accountable for being the boldest you’ve ever been in every area of your life!  What would you do if you were 10 times bolder? Sign up for her RSS feed and receive updates. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
 

photo credit: Unfurled

“Only when the clamor of the outside world is silenced will you be able to hear the deeper vibration. Listen carefully.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sometimes…

Life and this journey I am on…really get me thinking more deeply about what this all means.

Megan Bord, from It’s All About Joy, has invited me over to her wonderful space to share some of these thoughts.

Megan is a wonderful friend, and someone I have had the honor of really getting to know over this past year.  Her thoughts always touch upon something greater within, and all that is truly possible for each of us.  And true to the name of her site, she shines joy and love into every part of the world she touches. What a gift that is, for all those who visit her site and experience the beauty of her heart. 

Today, these thoughts I’m having touch upon life, and beyond.  Please join me on Megan’s site, as I talk about Life, Death, and Reflection.

You can keep up with Megan by subscribing to her blog, and following her on Twitter.

Comments are closed.