The Hello Bar is a simple web toolbar that engages users and communicates a call to action.

Detours on the Path of Life

Skylight
Creative Commons License photo credit: Nicholas_T

 “A truly happy per­son is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.” ~ Anonymous

Detours.  You know the routine. 

Road closed ahead.”

Local traf­fic only.”

Pro­ceed with caution.”

Maybe you could say they are signs of sum­mer.  Road con­struc­tion season. 

Change in the name of progress.  On recent trav­els across Wis­con­sin, sure enough, we found some of those “Road Closed” signs, and that put us on a detour around the area being repaired.  A longer trip than nor­mal.  Oh, not a lot longer, but still.  Our time is pre­cious, isn’t it?  And here I lost a few min­utes to some road construction!

A few minutes?

Is life that struc­tured that a few min­utes makes that big of a difference?

And, to think, I also had the chance to see some coun­try­side views that I wouldn’t nor­mally have been privy to. 

A detour.  An oppor­tu­nity to see things anew.  Not always the way we prob­a­bly look at road construction.

And such is life.

Have you ever been cruis­ing through your day, only to be side­tracked by some­thing unplanned?  An unex­pected prob­lem to deal with.  A sick child.  A bro­ken garage door as you’re headed out (that hap­pened to me today).  An unhappy client.  And on and on. 

Or maybe even big­ger things.  A job lost. An unex­pected death.  An acci­dent lead­ing into a long hos­pi­tal stay.  A son caught “doing drugs”.  An unplanned preg­nancy. A car accident.

Life is full of unplanned detours.  Some small.  Some big.  And on the sur­face, it can be hard to look at any of these as being good. 

Ugh.  How long far behind is this going to put me.”

Why does this always hap­pen when I’m so busy.”

Why me?”

Does any of this sound famil­iar?  I know I’ve been there.  Cruis­ing along, hit­ting on all cylin­ders — and then — bang!  Road closed ahead.  Find a dif­fer­ent path through your life buddy. 

That can be frus­trat­ing.  Maybe you want to pull your hair out.  Or just crawl into bed and never come back out. Cry. Throw some­thing.  Retreat.

What if. 

What if, we looked at life detours through a dif­fer­ent lens?  You may have done this before.  What if we looked at life’s detours as some­thing to embrace.  In many cases, we can’t just barge through the “road closed” signs in life.  Tak­ing a detour is the only way to keep mov­ing forward.

In life, we always have a choice as to what that detour will be.  And that’s a choice of our atti­tude and the path we choose to take.  When we can see the pos­i­tive, the good that’s out there — those detours in life can be very life-fulfilling.  There’s so much out there in our world.  And so there’s no way we can see and expe­ri­ence every­thing life has to offer.  Tak­ing a few detours along the way — and really expe­ri­enc­ing them — what a great oppor­tu­nity to see a dif­fer­ent path in life.  Meet new peo­ple.  Build new rela­tion­ships.  Develop new ideas.  The list is end­less.  Espe­cially if we’re open to see­ing the pos­si­bil­i­ties that exist on these “detours” life often throws at us. 

That’s not to say that some detours won’t be sad or frus­trat­ing or chal­leng­ing.  There will be detours that are.  Still, even in these detours of life, we have a chance to grow and learn more about our­selves — as hard as some of those hours may be.  It may be allow­ing the pain we feel to sur­face and come out.  Or  maybe just say­ing “I’m hurt­ing”.   And when we do this, when we start to accept more deeply the detours in our life, even these very dif­fi­cult detours — that’s when we’re ready to expe­ri­ence a richer and more abun­dant life.  Even if it doesn’t feel like that “in the moment”, there is abun­dance wait­ing for all of us, if we allow it in.

Your Turn

Life detours hap­pen to all of us.  There’s just no way every­thing is going to go just as planned in your life.  In fact, look­ing closely, it’s hard to go very long at all with­out some sort of “life detour” thrown at us.  Some can be really big. Some really small.  And any­where in between. 

Do you embrace these detours in your life?  Or, are these moments where you grum­ble and ask “why me”? 

Your life is full of amaz­ing oppor­tu­ni­ties.  Are you see­ing them all?  Or, are some slip­ping by because you’re not see­ing the “scenery” on the detour your life has taken.

Embrace these oppor­tu­ni­ties that life gives you!  And you will lead a life full of abun­dance, filled with moments that deeply con­nect you with your­self and the world around you!

Note:  A very spe­cial “shout out” to Lisa Marie Platske, a won­der­ful per­sonal friend of mine, and  life coach (whom I’ve worked with in the past) — for shar­ing the quote above that has prompted this arti­cle today.  Lisa Marie — you shine so much warmth and car­ing into my world — thank you!

Lance writes sto­ries from his heart, aim­ing to inspire and moti­vate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he’s not here, you can find him hang­ing out with his fam­ily, rid­ing a bike, or just gen­er­ally act­ing goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Tree­house newslet­ter and get addi­tional inspi­ra­tion in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
View all posts by Lance Ekum

Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    Lance,

    WOW! I have been strug­gling with a major health issue and weight issue for the past nine months. Read­ing over this is so big for me…all this health stuff is just a detour. I have to hon­estly admit that I have LEARNED SO MUCH from every­thing that has hap­pened. I have to tell you that it hasn’t been easy and there have been some dark moments. How­ever, it’s how I look at what has hap­pened as either a dark spot/day/month/year or a grow­ing experience.

    Smiling..it’s a grow­ing one!

    Thanks so much!

    ~M
    .-= Michelle´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..2 Sept =-.

  2. I love this! I have come to real­ize that the detours of life can be both short and long I used to think of the 10 years I strug­gled with obe­sity as the worst years of my life, but now, I’ve learned to appre­ci­ate those years for the lessons I learned along the way.

    Just yes­ter­day, we were hav­ing our sep­tic sys­tem redone ($$) and as they were leav­ing they dis­cov­ered another major prob­lem. A detour to be sure, but one that when viewed with a pos­i­tive per­spec­tive, could eas­ily be accomodated.

    Thanks for the inspi­ra­tion.
    .-= Diane, Fit to the Finish´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Will You Suc­ceed? =-.

  3. Yum Yucky says:

    I don’t like that first news of a detour, but I always try to make the best of it. It just takes too much energy to be grumpy, com­plain, or be fear­ful of the detour. It’s much eas­ier to just go with it. My hus­band strug­gles with the detours (he’s the grumpy one) and that grumpy energy some­times dis­rupts my own pos­i­tive out­look. But I try to throw back some pos­i­tiv­ity his way and it can be effective.

    So Lance, you wrote this post form the inside of your garage when you are cur­rently trapped? I bet­ter call the fire depart­ment. 9−1−1 !!!

  4. For a long time I thought of it as a detour. Over time I real­ized maybe it’s a sign that I’m trav­el­ing the “wrong” path to begin with!

    If we all could let go of the strug­gle and just enjoy life (eas­ier said than done, I’m cur­rently strug­gling with this right now as I get ready to make some deci­sions!) stress, ten­sion, and neg­a­tiv­ity could (would) decrease. I’m sure of it.

    And that is a great quote!

  5. Julie says:

    Funny how things work. It was nat­ural to just go with the flow when I was younger, but in my mid­dle years, I used to strug­gle with the best of them, resist­ing might­ily. But I learned the hard way that the strug­gles were teach­ing me so very much about myself, about oth­ers, about life… Now, in look­ing back, as dif­fi­cult as things were, I under­stand a real value in strug­gle is in the worlds within that come to light. Strug­gle can be our great­est learn­ing tool. And the bet­ter we learn, the fewer strug­gles we have! It becomes nat­ural to just go with the flow. Funny how things work.

  6. Srinivas Rao says:

    Inter­est­ing ideas Lance. Usu­ally it’s been the detours in my life that have lead me to where I’m ulti­mately sup­posed to be. This sum­mer has been a detour to the beach for surf­ing and as a result I’ve cut down my drink­ing, stopped smok­ing when I drink, and while I’ve remained job­less, this detour will no doubt change my life for­ever and for the better.

  7. Liara Covert says:

    One per­spec­tive is that detours are a fig­ment of the imag­i­na­tion. As a per­son chooses to sense advan­tages and bless­ings wher­ever he is, then every­thing sud­denly seems more mean­ing­ful. Emo­tions that do not serve you begin to fall away. You are a bless­ing for inspir­ing new lev­els of awakening.

  8. John says:

    I used to let the scenery slip away because I was too caught up in the des­ti­na­tion. I used to want fin­ish a lot of books just to say that I read X amount of books this sum­mer. I used to want to get things done with­out under­stand­ing how they were to be com­pleted. I always used to think of the end. The end? Why was I so obsessed with the end?

    I now real­ize that the process is just as much fun as the fin­ish line.
    .-= John´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Reflec­tions Upon a Summer’s End =-.

  9. You know Lance, I’ve hit my fair share of detours (chal­lenges). But I’ve learned some­thing… I’ve learned to embrace life’s chal­lenges. Hit them head on and enjoy the lessons brought by each and every moment. I wasn’t always like that of course. I used to com­plain. But ya know, that got me nowhere!
    .-= Ricardo Bueno´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..How Many Peo­ple Do You Con­nect with Daily? =-.

  10. Thank you for shar­ing this way of view­ing life’s lit­tle detours. I don’t know that I have embraced them in the past, but going for­ward I hope to.
    .-= Jess (Fit Chick in the City)´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Sugar, Sugar =-.

  11. I used to be ter­ri­ble with cop­ing with life’s detours. Even the slight­est change would put me in an irri­tated mood. I’m still not great at deal­ing with them, but I think I’m get­ting bet­ter and learn­ing to go with the flow a lit­tle bit more. Great topic!
    .-= Pos­i­tively Present´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..the 9 don’ts of deal­ing with anger =-.

  12. What a great way to look at road blocks Lance. I’ve had my share of them, and some­times there are tears and woe-is-me type of reac­tions. But lately I’ve really been going with the flow in a totally new way for me. It’s like if I use these road blocks to cen­ter and ground myself in terms what’s more impor­tant and what I really want in life.

    Beau­ti­ful.
    .-= Nathalie Lussier´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Raw Food Detox: The Myth, The Mad­ness… The Mag­ick?! =-.

  13. Lynn says:

    A friend’s teenage son had an acci­dent last Jan­u­ary 1st evening and was in a coma for days, then a slow recov­ery from brain injuries. But he went off to col­lege as planned a few weeks ago. His mother says that it brought them so much closer together as a fam­ily than before because they were always with him, hav­ing to drive him every­where. And my fam­ily is going through some­thing sim­i­lar right now with a fam­ily mem­ber in the hos­pi­tal. Such love and close­ness as we pull together in a cri­sis. Thank you for focus­ing on detours today Lance — they can be such a bless­ing.
    .-= Lynn´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Nazar Bon­cuk, Scout and Wheel =-.

  14. Who was it that said “It’s not one thing after the other — it’s ALWAYS some­thing.” :)

    Know­ing it’s always some­thing, we can just bop along in life and yes, take all in stride, remem­ber­ing that each day, each breath is a won­drous gift. Being a par­ent has been a great teacher for me to just roll with the punches, being a wife of a type-A guy too has mel­lowed my pre­vi­ously impa­tient soul.

    The pret­ti­est flow­ers are always seen on the detour route. (Feel free to quote me on that any time.) :)

    Did you run into your garage door again with the mini-van, Lance? Oy.
    .-= Jan­nie Funster´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Like a bord on a wire, 10 — Dou­ble Cod Edi­tion! =-.

  15. Jay Schryer says:

    On a more lit­eral level, I just have to say that I LOVE detours on the road, and get­ting lost, too. I have a great sense of adven­ture, and I love the chance to see things that I might not have seen otherwise.

    On the deeper level, I used to get really upset with detours in life. As Pos­i­tively Present said, I’m get­ting bet­ter with them, but it’s still not my favorite part of life. For me, I always try to look for the oppor­tu­ni­ties that come with detours, but some­times they can be hard to find while in the thick of things. Stay­ing calm helps a lot, at least for me it does.
    .-= Jay Schryer´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..New Ban­ners =-.

  16. Mama Zen says:

    This is a bit of a strug­gle for me. Although, I’m get­ter bet­ter (wiser?) as I get older.
    .-= Mama Zen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Crazy Clean­ing Con­fes­sions =-.

  17. Lisa's Chaos says:

    Detours seem to take my life over at times but it all usu­ally works out and often for the bet­ter. :)
    .-= Lisa’s Chaos´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Mostly Murals (Philadel­phia) =-.

  18. Carla says:

    Being diag­nosed with MS back in Jan­u­ary has been a major detour for me. Chal­lenges includes an MS “relapse” that has taken some of my phys­i­cal abil­ity away, hav­ing to leave work and go on dis­abil­ity, los­ing my job due to being on dis­abil­ity, and health insur­ance issues has left a empty hole where I though I had an idea of where my future is going to be.

    If it’s a detour like “sim­ply” los­ing your job or your home, that’s easy to get around. When it comes to major, incur­able health issues, it takes on a whole dif­fer­ent meaning.

    With that said, I still try to find the good in my sit­u­a­tion and what works. The fact that I can still use my sta­tion­ary bike and hand weights, or the fact that I have a lot of free time to work on per­sonal inter­ests out­side of the 9–5 grin and so on.

    Thank you for these reminders!
    .-= Carla´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Brave, Stu­pid or Both? =-.

  19. Julie and Liara give us big insights to live up to as I am cur­rently expe­ri­enc­ing a detour! So accrod­ing to Julie I need to go with the flow and accord­ing to Liara it’s my imag­i­na­tion this is a detour.
    Like Fun­ster I be pho­tograph­ing the pret­ti­est flow­ers. Lance…mini-van…garage door? I’m think­ing this is Jannie’s humor but if it’s true…I did it when the girls were small and my hus­band did it at our cot­tage! No mini-vans involved though.

    So good les­son Lance with deep and fun thinkers!

  20. Caroline says:

    Yes, I have had my share of detours. Mostly, I approach them with the atti­tude of oh sh*t…not this today! I am in a big hurry and can­not have this! Then I stomp my feet and get angry for awhile. But then I come around. And I ALWAYS find that the detour has opened a new door. I have met some incred­i­ble peo­ple and seen some beau­ti­ful “coun­try­side” because of those detours. I think detours are good and nec­es­sary in our life.

    It is all about atti­tude though… If you get angry at first…it’s OK…sometimes the detour comes as quite a shock.

    But the key is that accep­tance needs to happen…and once you accept the detour, the world with unfold in a beau­ti­ful way.

  21. I tend to err on the side of whin­ing about life detours… I’m a con­trol freak and hate that life is so hard to PLAN.

    But I can see your point. :)
    .-= Vered — Blog­ger for Hire´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Links for August =-.

  22. Life is either a dar­ing adven­ture, or nothing.

    Well said, my friend. Well said.

    I think you can tell a lot about a per­son when they are con­fronted head on by these road closed signs. Do you take it with grace? Or does it ruin your day? Espe­cially if it is a small thing, like a lit­tle jog in the road. That deter­mines how you han­dle the big detours of life as well.

    I don’t think of these things as get­ting side­tracked, but rather as a door to an oppor­tu­nity that I didn’t know existed. Like see­ing a dif­fer­ent part of the county on a road I have never been on before. Imag­ine who you might meet along the way that will open up other opportunities!

    I always had a secret desire to just jump in my car and start driving…like head­ing out on the famed Route 66 just to see where it would take me. While I am com­pletely impa­tient and like to drive like a demon on the high­ways, it is the draw of a back coun­try road and the lure of a per­ceived adven­ture that brings out a latent wan­der­lust in me.

    And as for the garage door thing…I know a guy who could help you with that! It is all in mak­ing con­nec­tions and learn­ing from them every day!

    Thanks for such inspir­ing words. I really take this adven­ture seriously…After all, I wouldn’t have found The Jun­gle of Life had I not jumped ran­domly from a blog in Philadel­phia to a blog in my own back­yard in Plover to jump to you!

    Enjoy the day!
    Erin
    .-= Erin Prais-Hintz´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Rid­ing the Wave =-.

  23. Evita says:

    Bril­liant view points Lance!

    There was a time in my life where I real­ized a sim­ple, yet pro­found truth.
    “I am always exactly, where I am meant to be”

    And today when there is an extra long line up at the post office, or if there are more than a usual num­ber of red lights, or if some­one should call just as I am about to walk out the door, or if there is a road detour.… if any hint of frus­tra­tion sets in, I just say that phrase to myself.

    Although I am get­ting bet­ter and bet­ter at accept­ing all moments with humil­ity, in those less than peace­ful states, I have to tell you that state­ment alone does it. It imme­di­ately snaps me out and I know every­thing is exactly as it is meant to be.

    We don’t think, what if we got side­tracked on the road some­where to pre­vent being in the path of a drunk dri­ver. What if we got held back some­where for some­one who really needed us to find us. “What if”, as you ask is exactly it.

    I believe if we take in those moments with a broader per­spec­tive, they can be some of our great­est lessons.
    .-= Evita´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Evolv­ing Being In Action: Chris Edgar =-.

  24. The biggest detour I ever had (divorce) was the biggest gift I’ve ever been given. Not only did I learn so much about myself and life in gen­eral, it also resulted in me spend­ing 2 years in Banff, Canada. They were a cou­ple of the best years of my life and I got to see and do the most amaz­ing things that I oth­er­wise wouldn’t have had the oppor­tu­nity to see and do. And I met my cur­rent part­ner who’s one of the kind­est, most car­ing peo­ple I know.

    When life throws you a lem­ming, make lem­ming meringue pie! (No lem­mings were harmed in the mak­ing of this com­ment).
    .-= Sami — Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..A Happy Camper =-.

  25. Lance…this is fab­u­lous. I love the idea and it is actu­ally some­thing I think about alot.

    And what is funny, I mis-read what you wrote, “Do you embrace these detours in your life?“
    and instead I read it as “Do you embrace these detours AS your life?”

    And I thought…yeah. Life is all about the detours. Once I was on a trip to Greece, I was in the south of Crete and missed the ferry to the main­land which meant I had to spend the night on a beach look­ing up at the Per­seid Meteor Show­ers and swim­ming in the phos­pho­res­cence. It had a pro­found impact on the way I choose to face each day and my belief in my own con­trol vs. a greater power in my life. And every day is like this, the world open­ing up and lead­ing me in ways I never thought life could go in.

    Per­haps the detours are indeed the “way” we are each most seek­ing. Cheers to the detours and the beau­ti­ful waters we get to swim in as a result!
    .-= Katie West/The Lev­ity Coach´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Let’s All Live Like Des­per­a­dos =-.

  26. Marelisa says:

    Hi Lance: It’s inter­est­ing that you write about this topic today. Just yes­ter­day I found this fab­u­lous quote from Joseph Camp­bell: ““Niet­zche was the one who did the job for me. At a cer­tain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called “the love of your fate.” What­ever your fate is, what­ever the hell hap­pens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an oppor­tu­nity, a chal­lenge. If you bring love to that moment — not dis­cour­age­ment — you will find the strength is there. Any dis­as­ter you can sur­vive is an improve­ment in your char­ac­ter, your stature, and your life. What a priv­i­lege! This is when the spon­tane­ity of your own nature will have a chance to flow.

    In many ways, life is one detour after the other. Imag­ine if you had the abil­ity to say, what­ever hap­pens, I won’t bring dis­cour­age­ment to the moment but an atti­tude of “OK, this is what I needed to learn today.”

    Beau­ti­fully writ­ten post, by the way.
    .-= Marelisa´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Future Belongs to Those Who are Intrin­si­cally Moti­vated =-.

  27. BunnygotBlog says:

    Well you know when you plan a vaca­tion with friends and each has their respon­si­bil­i­ties prepar­ing for the trip but for some rea­son life just hap­pens and noth­ing goes as expected.
    Your story brought me back to a col­lege trip with four other girls packed in a Pon­tiac Sun­fire , this was back in 1999 or 2000. On the spur of the moment decided to drive to Maine which wasn’t that far for us. One of the girls was sick before we started another got sick on the way. Luck­ily only three dri­vers but only two who could read a map. We found out the hard way 112 miles in the wrong direc­tion but we must have seen most of Ver­mont. I was dri­ving I saw road but it is a great mem­ory.
    .-= BunnygotBlog´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Maslow’s Hier­ar­chy Of Human Needs =-.

  28. Cameron says:

    Great post, great blog. I used to be so com­mit­ted to the plan I had for my life, my career, my future. It ruled what I did. As I grew older I sud­denly didn’t “want” the same things I had planned for for so long. I started to real­ize that if you don’t keep an open mind about the things life brings you, you might very well miss the most impor­tant oppor­tu­ni­ties of all.

    I just moved to NYC about 2 years ago. The year before that, I said “I would never, ever ever Live in NYC.” That is life. Oppor­tu­nity knocked, and so much good came of it, good that I’m not sure would have come our way otherwise.

    Thanks for the thought pro­vok­ing words.

    Stop by if you have time,
    Cameron from
    http://www.conquerthemonkey.com

  29. Patricia says:

    Oh I love the com­ments on this post — and it is a good post to illicit such com­ments.
    I used to believe I could get every­thing just set and planned and then I would not have to redo every­thing and start over. Once I walked I could then pro­ceed onto run with­out hav­ing to learn walk over again.
    My life has been con­tin­u­ous detours of going back to learn even crawl over again and again, because when you get on the famil­iar path I too often miss the mes­sages and flow­ers bloom­ing along the way — too much of a hurry to get to the next experience/accomplishment.
    When I stopped resist­ing all the detours — or just got a new tooth­brush when I left mine at home — the jour­ney just got so much more pleasant…the rewards for the tough going were big­ger. I don’t flow but I don’t drive through any more it is my under­stand­ing that I do not need to “push the river as it flows by itself’
    Thank you for shar­ing this. Good luck with the garage door.
    .-= Patricia´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..I Spy…Beauty =-.

  30. Lance,

    I have like this entire year has been one detour after another! In fact so many of them that it some­times felt I have been going around in cir­cles! It has been a chal­lenge for our fam­ily to main­tain our pos­i­tive atti­tudes and goals in the face of some really dif­fi­cult and sad hap­pen­ings. Hope­fully they are behind us now and in the next two weeks we are going to cel­e­brate ONE MORE detour, this time a happy one as my son gets mar­ried to a girl I already think of as my daugh­ter and we are all very excited! So yes, some detours can be won­der­ful after all!
    .-= Wendi Kelly-Life’s Lit­tle Inspirations´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Amaz­ing Dirty Dishes =-.

  31. Thanks for this Lance. It occurs to me that it’s an inter­est­ing para­dox that, although our time is valu­able, stress­ing out about the pos­si­bil­ity that we’re “wast­ing time” makes it hard to enjoy the moments we have.

  32. Sagan says:

    I like to think that I embrace the detours– some­times they present the oppor­tu­nity for some­thing even bet­ter than what we thought we had wanted!
    .-= Sagan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Day Two of the Vegan Chal­lenge and Hol­i­day Recap =-.

  33. Hi Lance,
    I am feel­ing lit­er­ally all smi­ley and happy after read­ing this post today. Cause, I am per­son­ally a go with the flow kind of per­son. But even then i used to miss the fun of the detours few years back..till i actu­ally had a very uplift­ing expe­ri­ence on one such detour. I met the love of my life on this detour and since then i am a Fan of tak­ing chances. Thank­fully both me and my hubby are the same. We live one day at a time..and dont let the future bother us too much. We are kind of happy that our today is just per­fect, and God will­ing the future will be just that. My hubby still teases me about how uptight i was when i met him the first time..:)
    And i with Jay a 100% on the adven­ture a detour can bring. Can truly be so much fun.
    Detours are good if we keep our mind and heart open to new expe­ri­ences, oth­er­wise they can be a huge pain. Now its up to us Exhil­a­rat­ing expe­ri­ence or painful experience???Our choice!
    .-= Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Stress Less =-.

  34. Lance,

    Fun­nily enough, I just drafted a post on failed rela­tion­ships, and had picked a photo from Flickr that said, guess what? “Detour”!

    I’m start­ing to think that life itself is a detour — we could have zipped through the uni­verse in what­ever energy form we started as, instead of slow­ing down to come to earth and spend decades here. What a long long detour. And what a ride it turns out to be! So if life itself is a detour, why worry about the lit­tle detours within that great detour? One day we’ll return to the uni­verse and this detour will be over, so enjoy it while it lasts… :)
    .-= Daphne @ Joy­ful Days´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..My Baby Turns One =-.

  35. Jen says:

    hi Lance,
    I loved this post! I have heard this men­tioned before, but I love how you reminded us of it again.. and added some new twists! ;) Great job!
    I like this sign: Change in the name of progress. thanks!
    Really, it is all about oppor­tu­ni­ties, that take the most courage to embrace — while we’re on detour! It’s the fact that we don’t know what will hap­pen next, that deter­mines our char­ac­ter, and our will­ing­ness to pre­pare moment to moment ->for a vision that still shines beyond the mys­te­ri­ous detour lines in and of itself. I believe that ‘Visu­al­iza­tion’ helps the most despite cir­cum­stance, so I keep my cat­a­log books handy so I con­tinue to cre­ate from wher­ever I’m at. It works! and adds con­fi­dence! ;)
    I would say if we’re all hon­est with our­selves, we’ve had good and bad detours… some­times, I think i could’ve had a bet­ter atti­tude, and other times I was rockin’ resilient. lol. So, really, I think over time we grow, and mature and real­ize the more we ‘let go of the illu­sion that we were ever in con­trol’.. the more we enjoy the ride! I learn to embrace every day ‘expect­ing mir­a­cles’, detours or not! This is the beauty of life! :)
    Namaste! luv Jen

  36. Elliot says:

    Lance,
    Great arti­cle. I think there was one par­tic­u­lar line in your arti­cle that makes all the dif­fer­ence — “When we can see the pos­i­tive, the good that’s out there – those detours in life can be very life-fulfilling.” Wayne Dyer has a great quote along the same lines — “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” If we all would just look at what hap­pens to our lives dif­fer­ently, we can see the big­ger picture.

    This has been a major phi­los­o­phy in our lives. We actu­ally just put up a Grat­i­tude page dis­cussing the impor­tance of being grate­ful for every­thing that comes into your life, good or bad, and your detour post came along right at the same time. Coin­ci­dence? Some may think so, but every­thing hap­pens for a rea­son.
    (Side note: Lance, since you are a lover of quotes (as am I), you might like the most recent post on our home page.)
    .-= Elliot´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..6 Inspi­ra­tional Quotes from the film World’s Fastest Indian =-.

  37. FatFighterTV says:

    Those dang detours are every­where, aren’t they? I really believe that every­thing in life hap­pens for a rea­son (well, maybe not lock­ing your­self out of your house and stuff like that…), and while you may not know what that rea­son is at the time you are strug­gling, you usu­ally fig­ure it out later in life when you look back. It has hap­pened to me sev­eral times and I’m sure it will con­tinue.
    .-= FatFighterTV´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..New Report: Tax junk foods and soft drinks to fight child­hood obe­sity =-.

  38. Walter says:

    I agree with you, detours are some­thing we should embrace. If we look at it on a dif­fer­ent lens, it may have some hid­den mes­sage that will bring improve­ment into our life.

    But more often than not we are resis­tant to those sud­den change. We pre­fer our usual way of know­ing things. The sad part is that we will never grow with this kind of atti­tude. :-)
    .-= Walter´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Pow­er­ful blog secret: Affec­tive writ­ing =-.

  39. Mindful Mimi says:

    Hi Lance,
    I am a big believer of ‘Every­thing hap­pens for a rea­son’. And I know that with a death in the fam­ily or can­cer or some­thing BIG like that it is dif­fi­cult to find any rea­son at all for this hap­pen­ing to you. But there always is some­thing to take away from it, some les­son to be learned. So I always ask myself ‘why is this hap­pen­ing to me’. And I do not always find the answer right away, but it leaves my mind open to see the pos­si­bil­i­ties, the oppor­tu­ni­ties for grow­ing, for learn­ing, for help­ing oth­ers etc. It is not always easy that is for sure. And like all of us, I do get down and won­der what life is all about. And that is ok. That is a phase to help you get to the next level.
    This morn­ing my kids were dri­ving me nuts. Lit­er­ally up the wall. They were stick­ing to me like glue, fol­low­ing me around, hang­ing on me, ask­ing me things, cry­ing, moan­ing etc. After a while it was just enough and I couldn’t take it. I closed the door on them. I needed some peace. They cried out­side the bed­room for a while and then just went on with their busi­ness. I had time to breathe and calm down (never for long ;-) . And it taught me that I need to place myself else­where when they are like that or I will be nasty. So I just leave the room to calm down and that usu­ally works.
    Thanks for shar­ing this insight.
    Mimi
    .-= Mind­ful Mimi´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Sun­day laugh =-.

  40. Ah detours! It depends on which day you ask me: a happy day will see me shout­ing “hoorah for detours, because they’re meant to be!” but a grumpy day will see me sulk­ing and think­ing, “are you freakin’ kid­ding me? AGAIN?“
    My biggest per­ceived detour in life came at age 25 when I was gen­tly shoved onto the spir­i­tual path I’m now on by God, him­self (or herself…I’m open here!). At the time I had no idea why the road I had been tak­ing and thought I could con­tinue tak­ing was all torn up and untra­vers­a­ble. So I started my detour and at first was pretty crotchity about the whole thing. How­ever, the longer the detour con­tin­ued, the more I relaxed into it and even started enjoy­ing the new scenery. Turns out the new road was so much nicer, kinder, and bet­ter suited to me than the old one was!
    And so it’s been.
    What a fun and dare I say bril­liant post?!
    I loved it, Lance. Thank you for shar­ing it with us.
    .-= Megan “Joy­Girl!” Bord´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Resent­ment Is Ridicu­lous =-.

  41. Lance says:

    @Michelle — Michelle, it’s great hav­ing you here. And thanks for shar­ing so hon­estly and openly. This is def­i­nitely just a detour in your life. And I’m sure there were times that it’s felt like much more than that — like it’s a lot to get through. In it all, I really believe our atti­tude plays a big part — and Michelle, just from your com­ment here — I feel you’re atti­tude is one of pos­si­bil­ity — and that’s a great place to be. Keep on smiling…

    @Diane — Hi Diane. Some detours are longer than oth­ers — and in fact may not even seem like a detour after a while — more like the per­ma­nent path. But look what you’ve accom­plished! Those ten years, while I’m sure they were dif­fi­cult ones, also serve you well today, I’m sure — as a reminder of what you’ve over­come to get to where you are. And I’m sorry to hear about your sep­tic sys­tem. I know our just sits there and does it’s thing — and it’s such a big expense if it needs repair/replacement. I hope your goes as well as it can.

    @Yum Yucky — Hey, I can’t imag­ine you being grumpy, Josie. And I do have to agree — that when I first come into one of these “life detours”, I don’t nec­es­sar­ily see the good. Our atti­tude plays such a big role here, and yours is so good. For some, this isn’t quite as easy — and if we can find a way to “lift up” in these moments, we can help some­one else more eas­ily get through this detour. And guess what? I made it out of the garage. It took four fam­ily mem­ber and about a half hour to get out (is that sad?). Repairs…hopefully com­ing soon…

    @Stacey Ship­man — Stacey, what a great point you bring up. Do we some­times get on these detours in our life, and not really exam­ine why we’re there? And if it’s the wrong path for us, then it’s time to find a path off of this detour, and into the direc­tions we desire in our life. Another thing is that some­times the detours help us to real­ize that we were on the wrong path to begin with. The detour can be a time to slow down, and re-think why we’re doing what we’re doing. Enjoy­ing life — so easy to say, isn’t it — and yet at times, so hard to do. Espe­cially in moments that feel like a strug­gle for us. Stacey, I know you’re exactly where you need to be right now, and you’ll come out of all of this with not only an even more “right” direc­tion for you, also a bet­ter under­stand­ing of you. Godspeed.

    @Julie — In our strug­gles, there are so many lessons to be learned. That doesn’t always make them easy. And some­times just where we are in the con­tin­uüm of our life can make all the dif­fer­ence in how we han­dle it all. And, Julie, what deep thoughts here on see­ing the real value of strug­gle being the worlds within our being that are focused on…if we allow that to hap­pen. Going with the flow…I love it! Now, if I can just allow that to hap­pen when that next curve­ball comes my way!! Julie, I appre­ci­ate so much always, the insight you share…

    @Srinivas — A detour to the beach, that sounds like a pretty sweet detour indeed!! And good for you on cut­ting back on drink­ing and smok­ing — what a great, great side ben­e­fit of going to the beach! I have to think you’re feel­ing healtier and more filled with life, and that’s such a great feeling!

    @Liara — So, maybe then — another way of look­ing at this is as detours really being the path we’re to be on, at that moment — for what­ever rea­son. Whether we call that a detour, or just the nat­ural path for us — your point is well taken, Liara. There are bless­ings in it all, espe­cially when we open our­selves up to see the possibilities.

  42. Lance says:

    @John — Going for the des­ti­na­tion, with­out tak­ing in the jour­ney — John, you’re hit­ting upon some­thing that is really so pro­found. Life is in that jour­ney, which you’ve come to real­ize. And what a great place for you to have reached. I think we can some­times get obsessed with the end because it feels like that’s the “prize”. That’s what we’re shoot­ing for. Yet, it’s only such a small part of the whole. Great thoughts today John, thanks much!

    @Ricardo — Hey, it’s great to see you here Ricardo! Embrac­ing the detours, the chal­lenges in life — that’s great! Some­times this can be so hard to do, but like you’ve said — where is the resis­tance and the com­plain­ing get­ting us? Nowhere. Such a great point to remember.

    @Jess — It’s great hav­ing you here, Jess. And thanks for being so hon­est. This isn’t easy stuff — embrac­ing the chal­lenges in our life. I think we all have moments where this can be a strug­gle. So, know that you’re not alone. And know also that you CAN do this — and that there is much good­ness on these detours in life…even if we can’t see them at the start…

    @Positively Present — Hi Dani. It can be easy to become irri­tated, frus­trated, angry, etc — about the detours life presents us with. You’re not alone. And it’s about mak­ing steps in the right direc­tion. You don’t have to get it all right the first time. You’ll get there, except for days when you don’t. Because we all have those days, days that chal­lenge us in ways that do cause us to look through the scarcity lens instead of the abun­dance lens. So Dani, you are doing just fine. And know that I’m there with you, fight­ing these same bat­tles, hope­fully mak­ing progress toward being more accept­ing of these moments…but some­times not.

    @Nathalie — I really think that’s part of the jour­ney, it’s in going through some of these moments our­selves, and learn­ing from our own first-hand expe­ri­ence what those moments feel like. And that can very often mean see­ing these moments as chal­lenges instead of oppor­tu­ni­ties. And that’s okay, espe­cially if we can take some­thing from that moment — some­thing that helps us the next time be a lit­tle more accept­ing of the detour. And look where it’s brought you today — to this place where you can view these road­blocks as a ground­ing expe­ri­ence. Nathalie, what a great place to be!

    @Lynn — Lynn, thanks so much for shar­ing this story. On the sur­face, it just seems like a very tragic one, and yet look where it’s taken this fam­ily — toward a much closer fam­ily rela­tion­ship. While it’s hard to wish some­thing like this on some­one, this is still such a great story of what truly embrac­ing the detours can do. And I think every­one who reads this can gather some hope in what can be…if we accept and allow these detours in our lives. And Lynn, know that I’m think­ing of you and your own fam­ily dur­ing the cri­sis your in right now. Embrace that love that’s being strength­ened through this…

    @Jannie — Exactly! Life is maybe one big detour! Bop­ping along — I love that term! It just sounds so care­free and accept­ing of life and it’s direc­tions it take us. (I’m going to bop with you!). And yes — par­ent­hood throws a whole new set of detours into our life — daily! And it’s all good… Oh, and Jan­nie — great “Jan­nie quote”, by the way — I’ll be out there today look­ing for some of those really pretty flow­ers! So now, that garage…I’m think­ing we need you, Jan­nie — to drive our mini-vannie! This time, though — I didn’t run into the garage door. It was shoot­ing cables and springs all over the place (I just don’t think that was a good thing!). Mr. Repair­man is stop­ping by today…maybe he’ll run into it…

  43. Christy says:

    I really enjoyed read­ing this today. Thanks! I also shared it with my friends on face­book. I am one of those who doesn’t mind change. I know alot of peo­ple who don’t and try to stay the same instead of grow­ing and chang­ing as their lives change. I think that is the part of life that I love because you never know what will hap­pen next. Life is a chal­lenge and you have to take it as it comes. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days where I com­plain but for the most part I enjoy the chal­lenges and work­ing on the solu­tions. It makes life more exciting.

  44. Hi Lance,

    I love detours…for I ended up always in a bet­ter place than if I had gone down the road that I thought was perfect.

    Life is so beau­ti­ful and some­times when we are so caught up on one way, we lose sight of the pos­si­bil­i­ties. Like Megan, my life was thrown a huge detour when I was 25. I had every pos­si­ble thing that I thought would make me happy and I was mis­er­able. The empti­ness was so scary to me and the thought that the rest of my life would feel that empty made me deter­mined to get rid of the empti­ness. And thus began my intense spir­i­tual quest to find hap­pi­ness and myself.

    That real­iza­tion was a huge detour and set me on a road with more detours but I am all the bet­ter because of it. So in my mind, detours rock! :)
    .-= Nadia — Happy Lotus´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Unity of Words, Thoughts and Deeds =-.

  45. Hi Lance

    Won­der­ful thoughts. I fully embrace the large detours in my life, but have a great deal more dif­fi­culty when it comes to the smaller stuff. I shall keep this in mind when I am next stand­ing in a queue.

    Juliet
    .-= Life­Made­Great | Juliet´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Test of Three =-.

  46. suzen says:

    Detours, gotta love ‘em. They will hap­pen whether you like it or not, plan for it or not, have “the time” or not — it one of those things that screams Accep­tance at you! This is a won­der­ful post, Lance, and the com­ments too! I just wrote a draft of a blog with the very same theme — we are in sync again and this is really get­ting spooky, haha! This sub­ject every­one relates to because you can­not escape the detours pop­ping up. It’s not what hap­pens to us (detours) — it’s how we respond/react to it that is the jewel! I’ve had my share of scream­ing, swear­ing and fight­ing it when I was younger and thought I had con­trol over every­thing or assumed I SHOULD! Some­how I was over-looked for my Acad­emy Award. I was def­i­nitely a Drama Queen! (The past tense a key here!)

    I love how you used “scenery”! Another gen­tle reminder to enjoy the ride no mat­ter what! Thanks, Lance!
    .-= suzen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Fanny Farmer: A Lady In Wait­ing =-.

  47. Hilda says:

    Oh Lance, I love this! Like oth­ers have sug­gested, I too am inclined to think that life is all about the detours. We can still get to where we want to be, but often we get sent there in a round-about, longer way. But I do think that if that’s what has hap­pened, then that is what we need, even if in the moment we can only see the delay.

    When I find myself on a detour I remind myself that I am always in the right place at the right time for my high­est good. And that helps to shift any feel­ings of frustration/irritation/upset to curios­ity as to why I’m here instead of where I’d intended to be. It’s a great help, cos if I’m open to other pos­si­bil­i­ties, I’m more likely to spot them :-)

    Here’s to bop­ping along with an open mind ;-)

  48. Evelyn Lim says:

    I feel that every detour is per­fect on its own. The rea­son is that each has taught me some­thing new. Hence, I don’t per­ceive a detour as a detour. Each, in fact, is very much an illu­sion. The illu­sion dis­solves, allow­ing me real­ize that all per­ceived detours are very much part of my journey.

  49. I really want to say yes, but most of the time my first thought is, “Arrrrrgh!” How long is this going to take.

    Then. Yes, there is a then. My prac­tice (Yoga, med­i­ta­tion, and per­spec­tive adjust­ing) kicks in. I take a few deep breaths then keep search­ing for a pos­i­tive to the sit­u­a­tion. The most prac­ti­cal of my prac­tice is when I’m at a red lights. I used to hate them, but now I can tol­er­ate them. So when I’m stuck, I look out my win­dow and search for some­thing beau­ti­ful to enjoy. It can be a per­son stand­ing at the inter­sec­tion or a tree blow­ing in the wind.

    By read­ing posts like this one and prac­tic­ing daily rit­u­als I get bet­ter at mak­ing this a habit. I have a long way to go, but that’s what the jour­ney is all about.

  50. Audra Krell says:

    Well it seems we’ve all got a detour story, so maybe like another com­menter said, detours are an expected way of life. I think about them a lot too, I kind of look for them, I always want to know what I might be miss­ing “over there,” around that next curve, up that next hill. When I ‘m hik­ing I have a very hard time with this, I deeply desire to arrive at the end of some­thing, but then you have to leave time for the jour­ney home as well!
    I’m busy every day try­ing to fig­ure out the mean­ing and the good behind the con­stant snakes in my kitchen! I don’t know what it is, but I do there is some­thing good behind it! : )

  51. J.D. Meier says:

    > Is life that struc­tured …
    I love that line.

    I used to live my life with­out buffers, now I build them in by design. Instead of react­ing to traf­fic, I expect it.

    I found a para­dox I didn’t expect. I avoided sched­ul­ing my time because I like free time and ran­dom, unstruc­tured time. The irony is when I finally sched­uled my time, I made more free, unstruc­tured time, by sched­ul­ing for it.
    .-= J.D. Meier´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Way Things Are, the Way Things Should Be, and the Way You Want Things to Be =-.

  52. Lance says:

    @Jay — Some­times a trip off the “main drag” can be a fun diver­sion. And a way to see some new places. That’s not some­thing easy for every­one to embrace, though — so good for you!! And a great point you’re bring­ing up about see the oppor­tu­ni­ties while in the thick of things — on the detours of life. What I think is that some­times those oppor­tu­nites don’t present them­selves right away, and it might not be until you’re down the prover­bial road a ways before some of these things are “seen”. Great thoughts…

    @Mama Zen — You’re not alone. It can be a strug­gle to head into some unknown direc­tion, espe­cially when it hap­pens abruptly. Some­times it gets eas­ier with age, and some­times it really doesn’t — so good for you, on really trying…

    @Lisa’s Chaos — Yes, detours in life…there’s usu­ally some­thing good that comes from them.

    @Carla — Carla, you’re speak­ing from very per­sonal expe­ri­ence, and that is so appre­ci­ated here. I can’t imag­ine how dif­fi­cult this could be for you. And at the same time, I’m so moved by your con­vic­tion to keep mov­ing for­ward, which I’ve wit­nessed for some time now. So, I can’t say to you, with all hon­esty, that there’s some­thing “good” in where you’re at. Maybe there is, maybe not. What I am sure of is that you are han­dling this all with such grace, and that right there is so refresh­ing. You’re right, this does take on a whole dif­fer­ent mean­ing when you’re talk­ing some­thing seri­ous and per­sonal. Carla, know that I wish you only the best in all of this…always.

    @Tess — Yes, going with the flow, or really embrac­ing the detour — can be very lib­er­at­ing. Still, not nec­es­sar­ily easy. And those pretty flowers…they’re out there. As to the garage door — no crash­ing involved. Bro­ken springs and cables every­where. Ugh. That’s a heavy door when you have to open it by hand!! Now…to get it fixed… And to you, Tess — you and your hus­band both find­ing that garage door (=funny! although prob­a­bly not at the time!)

    @Caroline — Car­o­line, I think we’ve all had those sorts of days — where we’re rushed and want every­thing to go “just as planned” — only to have some­thing go awry. And you’re right, who knows what unknown door this might open — even if it’s at what seems like the worst pos­si­ble time. Atti­tude and accep­tance — so impor­tant! Great points Caroline.

    @Vered — And some­times that’s good too — to let it all out. There’s some­thing about con­trol that feels “safe”. Yet, really how much con­trol do we really have? I’m not sure…

  53. Lance says:

    @Erin — Erin, this is so good. You’re right, how lit­tle thing “affect” us are really a sign of just how we’ll be with big­ger things too. And so if this is an area some­one strug­gles with, start­ing by prac­tic­ing with the smaller “detours” is the place to do this. Work­ing on eas­ier and more man­age­able chunks will pre­pare peo­ple for when big­ger things hap­pen. So, here’s to dis­cov­er­ing those detours in life, and out on the open high­way! And…the wanderlust…I love it! Road trip!! And isn’t it amaz­ing how con­nec­tions are made — I’m so glad our paths have crossed. And to think you’re so close, and yet — trav­eled so far for our con­nec­tion to hap­pen. Which I think is so cool! And the garage…well, we’re get­ting it fixed (it felt like we were locked in for a bit — when we couldn’t get the door open!).

    @Evita — I love that “truth” you’ve shared, Evita. As I sit here and really let that thought enter into my soul, there’s a calm that comes with it. This is so good — I’m instantly feel­ing the com­fort these words pro­vide. And look­ing at the big­ger pic­ture — what a dif­fer­ence that makes too. It’s easy to focus on the NOW pic­ture — yet, that may have lit­tle impact in the much big­ger pic­ture of our lives…or it may have a big impact too. Still, think­ing big pic­ture in all of this does give some reas­sur­ance as to where we are and that it’s okay.

    @Sami — I know this (your divorce) was not really a pleas­ant time in your life — and so hear­ing this today — this is so good for us. Not in that divorce is a good thing. No, really that this detour in your life — one that has brought you to a much bet­ter place — while dif­fi­cult at the time — now, turns out to be a real and pos­i­tive turn­ing point in your life. So happy for you, Sami! And that pie…well, I’ve never had lem­ming in pie, but I do love pie…so I’m com­ing over!!

    @Katie — Life is about the detours…there’s a thought that has a lot of truth behind it. Doesn’t mean the detours are all easy or even fun. It’s just that life doesn’t always go as planned. And this idea of detours being the way we are seek­ing — hmmm.…that’s really an inter­est­ing thought. What I am sure of, is that even the thought of this is both adven­tur­ous and calm­ing. And I love that thought (so if it is true, that’s pretty cool!). Now…as to your detour in Crete…next time you take a trip, I want to come with!!!

    @Marelisa — Hi Mare. Wow, that’s such a pow­er­ful quote! Bring­ing love to the moment, no mat­ter what that moment is. This is so good, because life is full of these moments — and what bet­ter way to embrace it all than with love and then action. Thanks so much for shar­ing this, and it really ties in so well with all of this. Mare, what beau­ti­ful insight you’ve shared today…

    @Bunny — what a great story, Bunny! And look at the mem­o­ries this “down the wrong road” cre­ated for you and your friends!

    @Cameron — Hi Cameron! What you’re say­ing is so well said — maybe too often we lock our­selves in to what we think is the right “road”, that we miss some of the detours along the way — detours that could lead us right to where we truly want to be. And thanks for shar­ing your own per­sonal story — what a great exam­ple of tak­ing a path you hadn’t planned to — and see­ing suc­cess because you did this. That’s wonderful!

  54. Lance says:

    @Patricia — Hi Patri­cia. Aren’t the com­ments so great — peo­ple have shared so deeply and hon­estly. And what a great point — this idea that we get rushed when we’re on the nor­mal route of our life — and what are we miss­ing along the way. Maybe, in a way, these life detours are a chance for us to slow down and see what’s there, what maybe always been there — and we just haven’t noticed. And resisitance…something which hin­ders our real and deep progress. Good stuff to remem­ber. And the garage — bro­ken springs and cables — replace­ment parts are on order…soon…it will be fixed!

    @Wendi — Wendi, it’s so good to see you. I’m so sorry to hear how dif­fi­cult this past year has been. Chal­lenges (detours) can be even more dif­fi­cult when they’re stacked on top of each other. So good to see you com­ing out on this side of them. And con­grat­u­la­tions to your son and soon-to-be daugh­ter in law!

    @Chris Edgar — Stress…known to cause health issues, AND mak­ing it dif­fi­cult to enjoy (and maybe even more appro­pri­ately expe­ri­ence) the moments of our life. Great point!

    @Sagan — Keep on embrac­ing them, Sagan! And yes, they sure can present the oppor­tu­nity for “even greater”!

    @Zeenat — Hi Zeenat. That’s awe­some, we love smi­ley and happy!! And there you go — meet­ing the love of your life because of a life detour — how’s that for a super great detour to be on! Being open to new experiences…so impor­tant, isn’t it. And you’ve shown truly how this can be — you and your hus­band — great story!

    @Daphne — Hi Daphne. I tell you, I think our brains might be wired the same way! I almost used a photo with the word “Detour” on it — wouldn’t that have been wild! And I love what you’re say­ing, the our time here on earth is just a detour, all in part of our trav­els through ever­last­ing life! Wow! That’s such a big and amaz­ing thought! Okay, I’m going to enjoy it all just a bit more — on this great big detour!!

    @Jen — Hi Jen. Change in the name of progress. Yes, change shouldn’t be just because. Change should be because we want to change some­thing, not just because we can. Great point to remem­ber. Courage. Do you know, that’s a word I’ve made as my focus for the year. And I couldn’t agree more, Jen — when we have the courage to embrace the changes in our life — amaz­ing things can hap­pen! Visu­al­iza­tion — this sounds so good — and now I want to know more about how this works for you. And yes, I agree that I don’t think any­one can say that they’ve han­dled all the detours with ease. Life is indeed beau­ti­ful and filled with mir­a­cles every­day! So, so good to read this Jen, thank you!

  55. Lance says:

    @Elliot — Hi Elliot. Yes, I think there’s a lot to that — how we look at things. Do we see these detours as neg­a­tive, or can we see the pos­i­tive in them? That can make all the dif­fer­ence. Thanks for shar­ing the Dyer quote. I’ll check out what you have on grat­i­tude — that fits so well with this con­cept — because really we have so much to be grate­ful for, even the detours life sends our way — as we’ve seen here in the com­ments — these moments too can be so good for us, espe­cially if we embrace them.

    @FatFighterTV — Yes, Sahar, the detours are EVERYWHERE!! And the idea of every­thing hap­pen­ing for a rea­son — a thought I love, because if we can embrace these moments, they all can be such pow­er­ful moments in our jour­ney. Now, about that lock­ing your­self out of your house — per­sonal expe­ri­ence, Sahar? This sounds good — when will I hear more about it???

    @Walter — Growth cer­tainly does come in those moments when we’re chal­lenged, doesn’t it. And that right there should be rea­son enought to embrace the detours. In the moment, though, this can be hard some­times. Hmm… maybe if there was a way to prac­tice this in a safe environment…

    @Mimi — Hi Mimi. I am too a believer in ‘Every­thing hap­pens for a rea­son’. Even if the answers don’t come right away, that’s okay. And Mimi, thanks so much for shar­ing your own story from today. With kids, there are always lots of detours. What you did was a great thing, giv­ing your­self some space from the “sit­u­a­tion”. And get­ting your­self into a moment of calm, what won­ders that can do. A detour for sure, and one you han­dled with awe­some instincts. Your chil­dren are lucky to have you in their life…

    @Megan — Okay, I’m smil­ing. Isn’t that ever true! What can one day seem like noth­ing, the next day will be a major cri­sis. Haven’t we all been there? Even when we think we’ve got this stuff kind of fig­ured out (not sure that I do), this still hap­pens. Life. And Megan, thanks for shar­ing about your own per­sonal jour­ney. And I’m so, so happy for you and for this path that life has taken you on in your own spir­i­tu­al­ity. What an amaz­ing path it can be, these detours, when we allow them to become into our being. Megan, thank you!

    @Christy — Thanks so much for shar­ing this — I really appre­ci­ate it! And what a great mind­set to be in — wel­com­ing the change that comes into your life! That’s awe­some! Here’s to all the excit­ing moments life brings our way!

    @Nadia — Hi Nadia. I do know part of your story, and it’s a won­der­ful one of the detour life took you on, and where it’s led you to today. That deep empti­ness can be a real feel­ing of despair, and I’m so happy you’ve found this spir­i­tual quest that brought you to a place filled with so much love and car­ing. Detours indeed do rock (although, for some rea­son — I don’t always see that in the moment!)

    @Juliet — That’s inter­est­ing, how you’ve embraced the larger detours, yet smaller ones can still prove chal­leng­ing. Maybe it’s some­thing about how big they are that moti­vates you to take them on. And this has me really think­ing, Juliet, how the size of the detour affect me. Hmmm.… much to think about here.…good stuff!

  56. Hi Lance,

    I’m laugh­ing at this post. You see, when we became self employed, it became of life of detours. It’s rare things are “on sched­ule”, whether that is the job itself, what time we eat din­ner, when the money comes in, or what time I go to bed.

    At first it was upset­ting to me as I was used to a halfway nor­mal sched­ule, but after all these years , I take it with a grain of salt and roll with the punches. I’ve learned every­thing hap­pens for a rea­son and some things in their own time. Often I look back and will say, “Hmmm, if that didn’t hap­pen, then “this” wouldn’t have hap­pened…”. It’s like detours are bless­ings in dis­guise. :)
    .-= Bar­bara Swafford´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Read­ers vs Bots — Mak­ing Every­one Happy =-.

  57. Lance says:

    @Suzen — Syn­chronic­ity! Very cool! And yes, it is how we respond in these detours of life. So, you WERE a drama queen! See, today I never would have guessed that. So, you’ve done well, my friend! I’m think­ing Acad­emy Award in some other cat­e­gory — maybe humor!

    @Hilda — Tak­ing the round about way…I like it! Just because we’re on a detour in our life, it doesn’t mean we still won’t reach wher­ever we were headed. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. There is some­thing there, though, in those detours of life, some­thing worth embracing…and that’s so good to remem­ber. And I love the reminder you use, much like what Evita has said above — and some­thing I see as so help­ful in this whole process. I’m bop­pin’ with you, Hilda…and it’s all good and it’s all right!

    @Evelyn — As in, maybe that detour was meant to hap­pen for a reason…so good to think about. And if we view our lives as an ever chang­ing and evolv­ing life, then there is so much we can always learn — no mat­ter where we are in our life. Part of the journey…what a won­der­ful thought, Evelyn…

    @Karl — I know what you mean…I can get that way too — get­ting caught up in the moment, and for­get­ting that this is all part of the jour­ney. And what great tech­niques you’re using to really get you focused on your inner strengths. And when we can do that — I think we have a much bet­ter abil­ity to “be” in the moment — even those moments that can be chal­leng­ing. And see­ing the beauty around us…another great way to appre­ci­ate the world instead of get­ting hung up on the detours we’re on. Great stuff, Karl!

    @Audra — Hi Audra. Okay, the snakes that con­tinue to raid your house…hmmm…I’m just going to say I’m glad it’s you on THAT detour!! Yikes!! And to your other thought — yes, there’s just so much in our world — and detours are another oppor­tu­nity to expe­ri­ence some­thing we might not ever get to. And that’s really pretty awesome!

    @J.D. Meier — Struc­tured life? Some­times it might seem like it, and yet — you know what — the world doesn’t stop because we’re not doing every­thing we always do. I think it helps to put things in per­spec­tive — how we are really just a speck here on this earth. An impor­pant speck, but a speck none the less. And sched­ul­ing in free time — what a great idea — as a way to make sure you’re get­ting some time that just doesn’t have any­thing going on — except what YOU want!

    @Barbara — Hi Bar­bara. Okay, so you live in detours! And look how well that’s turned out — you’ve done so well! That you’re rolling with the punches — I love that phrase — is really fully embrac­ing the life detours that come your way. And it just sounds like things have worked out very well for you…hmmm…the detours are a pretty good thing!

  58. Hi Lance — Detours. Great sub­ject to talk about because there are a lot of them! I find that some of the detours that I find the most irri­tat­ing at first, turn out to take me to a place that I really needed to find. Nice post!
    .-= Amanda Linehan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..How To Regain Your Con­fi­dence =-.

  59. Jennifer says:

    What a beau­ti­ful post Lance!! It’s funny. I read this right after being stuck on the inter­state due to an 18 wheeler acci­dent. While it wasn’t a “detour” around con­struc­tion, it was a detour in my plans — my trek home. And as I was typ­ing that last sen­tence and try­ing to leave a com­ment here my dog gave me the mes­sage that he had to go out (I used to just make him wait– that is… until he started hav­ing so many diges­tive prob­lems) and then my neigh­bor came over to talk. :) All that was after the UPS man stopped with our deliv­ery. Wow, lots of detours today! But, each one had great things wrapped up in them. I got to have some much needed relax­ation time sit­ting in traf­fic, got to take a break for some fresh air, bond with a neigh­bor, and get my deliv­ery. Of course these are just small things. Much big­ger detours call for more of an effort to see the bright side. Right now I think I’m on a bit of a big­ger detour and I’m not sure where I’ll end up. I can’t say every thought has been one of enjoy­ment, but I believe the detour now is look­ing to be beautiful!

    Sure hope the garage door is fixed by now. That sure sounded like a fun morning.

    Thanks again for such a beau­ti­ful post!
    .-= Jennifer´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Suc­cess or Fail­ure? =-.

  60. Hilary says:

    Hi Lance — thanks for the diver­sion! Now I’m stopped .. I can get going again!

    Things don’t hap­pen unless we can cope with them .. or more impor­tantly learn from them — and it may not be us our­selves, as we strug­gle with infir­mity (I don’t — but one of your read­ers has I’m sure), it’s the peo­ple round us — we per­haps need to lead.

    The less seri­ous blips in the round .. we just need to side step and get on — as you say we can’t go that route, so we need to find another path to travel

    & every­thing is an oppor­tu­nity, and there will be pos­i­tive com­ing out, it’s a night­mare, but even in a night­mare .. mini one with the garage door, major one with an acci­dent — we have to get through it and from it we learn — we must move on.

    We per­haps need guid­ance from oth­ers .. may be they come into our lives any­way — spir­i­tual helpers — or we have to find them .. I found some­one for my mother, lit­tle did I know how much value she has pro­vided for my mother, me, and the fam­ily by her pro­fes­sion­al­ism .. and she’s now been with us 2 years and is really part of the family.

    I’ve been lucky in that I’ve learnt to adapt over the years .. and one of my ‘gen­eral mantras’ is I turn on my heel (at a challenge/ prob­lem) re-evaluate and get going with another strategy.

    Thanks .. all the best and have a lovely long week­end ..
    Hilary Melton-Butcher
    Pos­i­tive Let­ters Inspi­ra­tional Sto­ries
    .-= Hilary´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Where are Pel­i­cans? =-.

  61. Laurie says:

    I hit a detour last night with a friend. She has worked so hard to move past her bag­gage and the behav­iors that went with it. Last night I real­ized that she has sunk back into some of those old behav­iors. So my detour is to have one of those dif­fi­cult con­ver­sa­tions. One of those “truth in love” talks where I call it what it is and chal­lenge her to not stop at this place on her jour­ney. Funny thing, she made it obvi­ous as to what was going on. I really think she was want­ing me to know so we can have this talk. Wish me luck Lance.

  62. I agree com­pletely, Lance. Detours can be very good things. So long as they don’t dis­tract us from our big­ger destinations…

    Being open to detours makes life more interesting.

    PS I won­der why, though, when my hus­band sug­gests we take a detour out in the wilder­ness in his SUV, I like to stick to the main paved road LOL
    .-= Jewel/Pink Ink´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Free­dom To Write =-.

  63. Lance says:

    @Amanda — Hi Amanda. Yes, they can some­times be around every cor­ner, can’t they! And yes, some that seem to be the biggest strug­gle can end up being so good for us…interesting, isn’t it…

    @Jennifer — Jen­nifer, thank you. So, you had a whole bunch of detours yes­ter­day! And how typ­i­cal is that, when we have these “detours”, even small, in our life? Hap­pens quite a bit, doesn’t it. And just because it changes our plans a bit, that doesn’t mean it’s bad at all. Look at all the good you had! The big­ger detours, the ones that chal­lenge us on a greater level, these can be more dif­fi­cult to fully embrace. And the thing is, some­times we don’t know where those detours will take us. I really like what Evita has said above — “I am always exactly, where I am meant to be”. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it at the time, but I think there’s some com­fort that comes from this state­ment. Jen­nifer, I know your faith is strong, and that too is some­thing we can use to carry us through the chal­leng­ing detours of life. Know that there is amaz­ing light in your life, and even these big­ger detours hold spe­cial mean­ing for you. The garage…it’s com­ing along…

    @Hilary — Ha! Stopped on the detour of life — I love it! Oppor­tu­nity, that’s such a good word to go along with this post. Oppor­tu­ni­ties in all moments. To learn. To heal. To give. To share. To “be”. To love. So good to remem­ber, thank you!

    @Laurie — Lau­rie, I’m sorry to hear this. Dif­fi­cult con­ver­sa­tions are never easy. Maybe she is at a point where she’s ready for this. And your the guid­ance she may need right now. Lau­rie, I know you can do this — with love there with you, this too shall be a detour that pro­vides good­ness and hope.

    @Jewel — Good point. Some­times we may be steered toward a new des­ti­na­tion, and that’s okay if it really does speak to us. If we still want to reach the orig­i­nal des­ti­na­tion, then it’s impor­tant to keep that focus, even on the detours of life. And Jewel…I think you should jump at the chance to head into the wilder­ness in that SUV!! Have a great weekend!

  64. I have been a pre­vi­ous lurker here but must break my silence to say I highly approve of this blog.
    .-= Her­mann Shinglemeister´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Ridicu­lously Green — Austin’s “Lady­bird Lake” Hike & Bike Trail =-.

  65. Lance says:

    Her­mann (err…Jannie????),
    Okay, I can’t stop myself from laugh­ing out loud! You are too funny!! Okay, not too funny (don’t ever stop being funny!). You are way fun and funny and awe­some and cool! Her­mann (err…Jannie), you rock my world when­ever you’re here!!! I highly approve of your visits!!

  66. CG Walters says:

    Lance,
    It always amazes me that even as busy as you are, you always have time to give to (more and more) oth­ers.
    Con­tin­ued bless­ings and inspi­ra­tion to you,
    CG
    .-= CG Walters´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Laugh­ing IS Pray­ing =-.

  67. Dar­nit! Her­mann is out vis­it­ing. He’s the new sec­re­tary to my blog assistant’s helper and I think he’s got­ten a remark­ably big head ever since I hired him. But he’s a great roofer and one hell of a cook!
    .-= Jan­nie Funster´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Ridicu­lously Green — Austin’s “Lady­bird Lake” Hike & Bike Trail =-.

  68. Lotus Peng says:

    Hi Lance, it is my fisrt time to be here. I am glad to find you blog by chance. I am work­ing at office, very tired, so your green pic­ture gives me fresh energy. And your views on detours of life are res­onated with me. But if 2 months before, I didn’t have the same thought. At that time, I con­fronted the detour of my life, but what I did at first was to escape , not meet it head on. Whether we want to do or not, the life always dri­ves us to go for­ward, because real­ity is before us. As a result, I had to go with the flow. With these two months expe­ri­ence, I learn and get much from the detour . Detour is a chance to for the bet­ter. When I haven’t enough abil­ity to reach my des­ti­na­tion, detours will make up for my defi­cien­cies.
    Lance , thank you , now I am with refreshment .

  69. Liara Covert says:

    Some peo­ple sense ‘detours’ do not exist . This term nur­tures the per­cep­tion that you are not where you are meant to be at a given moment. In truth, you always are in the right place. How you choose to view your con­di­tions deter­mines your feel­ings and whether you see advan­tages or dis­ad­van­tages to where you are. To be grate­ful for every­thing every moment elim­i­nates the tra­di­tional under­stand­ing of detour. You are where Higher Self knows you are learn­ing valu­a­bel lessons.
    .-= Liara Covert´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Dawn Hill & Inter­view on per­cep­tion shifts =-.

  70. The thing about detours is that they take you to places you wouldn’t have gone with­out them. And some­times those detours turn out to be bet­ter than the orig­i­nal path and so you switch onto them.
    .-= Ian | Quan­tum Learning´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..6 Ways to cul­ti­vate con­fi­dence =-.

  71. Colleen says:

    …we looked at life detours through a dif­fer­ent lens…“
    Our thought life is cer­tainly key to what we think of our­selves, the goals we accom­plish, and our gen­eral out­look on life.
    .-= Colleen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Ken­newick Real Estate List­ings =-.

  72. Hi Lance!
    I’m not sure how I missed this post–it’s won­der­ful, really won­der­ful! I have to say, I’m pretty good at embrac­ing the big detours in life. I con­sider myself pretty resiliant, and I try to be strong for oth­ers, too. I def­i­nitely have bet­ter clar­ity under pres­sure. For me, it’s the small day to day obsta­cles that get me. Case in point, I’m refer­ring to small inci­dents as “obsta­cles”. I’ll get bet­ter. I’m workin’ on it. It’s a process…! :) Great think­ing here. I love your per­spec­tive on the whole sub­ject!
    .-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Off the Shelf: 365 Tao~Work =-.

  73. Lance says:

    @CG Wal­ters — Thanks much, CG — and it’s great to see you here!

    @Jannie — That Hermann…but hey, if he cooks and roofs…how can you go wrong, really!

    @Lotus — Lotus, it’s great to have you here! And thanks so much for shar­ing your own per­sonal story. I think it’s part of the whole learn­ing process for all of us, how we can work through these detours life gives us. And some­times we learn by try­ing and then real­iz­ing the detours have much on them for us as well.

    @Liara — Where we’re meant to be…good way to look at this Liara. Whether we see it as a detour off our “planned” path, or just see it as what’s meant to be — when we really embrace this idea that we’re in the right place for us, then we are open to really what can be pos­si­ble for us.

    @Ian — That’s it! Detours can be such great places to go…and we just might not rec­og­nize that nor­mally because we’re so used to trav­el­ing the path we’re on — and don’t fully real­ize that there’s much beyond.

    @Colleen — “Thought life”…such a great point, Colleen. Our thoughts lead into our actions…lead into our life. So good to think about. Thanks much!

    @Jodi — Hi Jodi. Thank you, so much, for your affirm­ing words! The big vs. lit­tle. Maybe it’s some­thing about the big­ger detours that can some­times get us really revved up for what might be — like a big road trip across teh coun­try, and a detour that takes us into some unknown. Sounds excit­ing and adven­tur­ous. The small detours, like a detour on the way to the gro­cery store — not so adven­tur­ous. And such is life. And so maybe that’s what makes big eas­ier than lit­tle. Any­way, Jodi, so good to hear your hon­esty here. And I know you’ll do well with all of it…

  74. Lauren says:

    I feel like I’ve been here before, but maybe it’s just that the con­tent res­onates so much that it feels famil­iar. I googled “embrace the detour” (the name of my blog) and found this post. I just love it. It’s exactly the themes I explore on my blog — the idea that a detour can be more glo­ri­ous and ful­fill­ing and life-affirming than the straight path. The things that knock us off course are often the things that take us where we wanted to go in the first place. Any­way, just wanted to say, great post!

    • Lance says:

      Lau­ren,
      It’s great to “meet” you! And, I can’t wait to check out your site, as you can see — this is some­thing I very much find mean­ing in, too. Those detours.…they really can be some of life’s great moments for us…if we allow them to be.

      Thank YOU!!!

Trackbacks

  1. […] it’s some­thing that hap­pens every­day – when we solve prob­lems, adjust to detours, sim­ply live our daily […]

  2. […] recently wrote a post enti­tled Detours on the Path of Life, which dis­cussed life’s unplanned detours that force us to take a dif­fer­ent path than what we […]

  3. The A — Z of Hap­pi­ness: E is for ……

    Energy At the end of the day, it’s all about energy. You and I, and every­thing else that exists in the phys­i­cal uni­verse may appear to have solid form. But it’s all an illu­sion. We are all masses of energy vibrat­ing at dif­fer­ent fre­quen­cies. Moods, f…

  4. […] every day.  Some­times it hap­pens around us, and there’s noth­ing we can do about it (think road con­struc­tion, the new fam­ily that moved into the neigh­bor­hood, etc).  Some­times change is presented […]

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge

You will receive an email with any replies to your comment. Check this box only if you want to be notified of ALL follow-up comments. You can also subscribe without commenting.