Detours on the Path of Life

by Lance Ekum on · 81 comments

Skylight
Creative Commons License photo credit: Nicholas_T

 "A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour." ~ Anonymous

Detours.  You know the routine. 

"Road closed ahead."

"Local traffic only."

"Proceed with caution."

Maybe you could say they are signs of summer.  Road construction season. 

Change in the name of progress.  On recent travels across Wisconsin, sure enough, we found some of those "Road Closed" signs, and that put us on a detour around the area being repaired.  A longer trip than normal.  Oh, not a lot longer, but still.  Our time is precious, isn’t it?  And here I lost a few minutes to some road construction!

A few minutes?

Is life that structured that a few minutes makes that big of a difference?

And, to think, I also had the chance to see some countryside views that I wouldn’t normally have been privy to. 

A detour.  An opportunity to see things anew.  Not always the way we probably look at road construction.

And such is life.

Have you ever been cruising through your day, only to be sidetracked by something unplanned?  An unexpected problem to deal with.  A sick child.  A broken garage door as you’re headed out (that happened to me today).  An unhappy client.  And on and on. 

Or maybe even bigger things.  A job lost. An unexpected death.  An accident leading into a long hospital stay.  A son caught "doing drugs".  An unplanned pregnancy. A car accident.

Life is full of unplanned detours.  Some small.  Some big.  And on the surface, it can be hard to look at any of these as being good. 

"Ugh.  How long far behind is this going to put me."

"Why does this always happen when I’m so busy."

"Why me?"

Does any of this sound familiar?  I know I’ve been there.  Cruising along, hitting on all cylinders – and then – bang!  Road closed ahead.  Find a different path through your life buddy. 

That can be frustrating.  Maybe you want to pull your hair out.  Or just crawl into bed and never come back out. Cry. Throw something.  Retreat.

What if. 

What if, we looked at life detours through a different lens?  You may have done this before.  What if we looked at life’s detours as something to embrace.  In many cases, we can’t just barge through the "road closed" signs in life.  Taking a detour is the only way to keep moving forward.

In life, we always have a choice as to what that detour will be.  And that’s a choice of our attitude and the path we choose to take.  When we can see the positive, the good that’s out there – those detours in life can be very life-fulfilling.  There’s so much out there in our world.  And so there’s no way we can see and experience everything life has to offer.  Taking a few detours along the way – and really experiencing them – what a great opportunity to see a different path in life.  Meet new people.  Build new relationships.  Develop new ideas.  The list is endless.  Especially if we’re open to seeing the possibilities that exist on these "detours" life often throws at us. 

That’s not to say that some detours won’t be sad or frustrating or challenging.  There will be detours that are.  Still, even in these detours of life, we have a chance to grow and learn more about ourselves – as hard as some of those hours may be.  It may be allowing the pain we feel to surface and come out.  Or  maybe just saying "I’m hurting".   And when we do this, when we start to accept more deeply the detours in our life, even these very difficult detours – that’s when we’re ready to experience a richer and more abundant life.  Even if it doesn’t feel like that "in the moment", there is abundance waiting for all of us, if we allow it in.

Your Turn

Life detours happen to all of us.  There’s just no way everything is going to go just as planned in your life.  In fact, looking closely, it’s hard to go very long at all without some sort of "life detour" thrown at us.  Some can be really big. Some really small.  And anywhere in between. 

Do you embrace these detours in your life?  Or, are these moments where you grumble and ask "why me"? 

Your life is full of amazing opportunities.  Are you seeing them all?  Or, are some slipping by because you’re not seeing the "scenery" on the detour your life has taken.

Embrace these opportunities that life gives you!  And you will lead a life full of abundance, filled with moments that deeply connect you with yourself and the world around you!

Note:  A very special "shout out" to Lisa Marie Platske, a wonderful personal friend of mine, and  life coach (whom I’ve worked with in the past) – for sharing the quote above that has prompted this article today.  Lisa Marie – you shine so much warmth and caring into my world – thank you!

Lance writes stories from his heart, aiming to inspire and motivate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he's not here, you can find him hanging out with his family, riding a bike, or just generally acting goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Treehouse newsletter and get additional inspiration in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
View all posts by Lance Ekum
(Visited 316 times, 1 visits today)

{ 75 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle September 2, 2009 at 8:06 am

Lance,

WOW! I have been struggling with a major health issue and weight issue for the past nine months. Reading over this is so big for me…all this health stuff is just a detour. I have to honestly admit that I have LEARNED SO MUCH from everything that has happened. I have to tell you that it hasn’t been easy and there have been some dark moments. However, it’s how I look at what has happened as either a dark spot/day/month/year or a growing experience.

Smiling..it’s a growing one!

Thanks so much!

~M
.-= Michelle´s Last Fabulous Post ..2 Sept =-.

Reply

Diane, Fit to the Finish September 2, 2009 at 8:13 am

I love this! I have come to realize that the detours of life can be both short and long I used to think of the 10 years I struggled with obesity as the worst years of my life, but now, I’ve learned to appreciate those years for the lessons I learned along the way.

Just yesterday, we were having our septic system redone ($$) and as they were leaving they discovered another major problem. A detour to be sure, but one that when viewed with a positive perspective, could easily be accomodated.

Thanks for the inspiration.
.-= Diane, Fit to the Finish´s Last Fabulous Post ..Will You Succeed? =-.

Reply

Yum Yucky September 2, 2009 at 8:21 am

I don’t like that first news of a detour, but I always try to make the best of it. It just takes too much energy to be grumpy, complain, or be fearful of the detour. It’s much easier to just go with it. My husband struggles with the detours (he’s the grumpy one) and that grumpy energy sometimes disrupts my own positive outlook. But I try to throw back some positivity his way and it can be effective.

So Lance, you wrote this post form the inside of your garage when you are currently trapped? I better call the fire department. 9-1-1 !!!

Reply

Stacey Shipman September 2, 2009 at 8:36 am

For a long time I thought of it as a detour. Over time I realized maybe it’s a sign that I’m traveling the “wrong” path to begin with!

If we all could let go of the struggle and just enjoy life (easier said than done, I’m currently struggling with this right now as I get ready to make some decisions!) stress, tension, and negativity could (would) decrease. I’m sure of it.

And that is a great quote!

Reply

Julie September 2, 2009 at 8:47 am

Funny how things work. It was natural to just go with the flow when I was younger, but in my middle years, I used to struggle with the best of them, resisting mightily. But I learned the hard way that the struggles were teaching me so very much about myself, about others, about life… Now, in looking back, as difficult as things were, I understand a real value in struggle is in the worlds within that come to light. Struggle can be our greatest learning tool. And the better we learn, the fewer struggles we have! It becomes natural to just go with the flow. Funny how things work.

Reply

Srinivas Rao September 2, 2009 at 8:50 am

Interesting ideas Lance. Usually it’s been the detours in my life that have lead me to where I’m ultimately supposed to be. This summer has been a detour to the beach for surfing and as a result I’ve cut down my drinking, stopped smoking when I drink, and while I’ve remained jobless, this detour will no doubt change my life forever and for the better.

Reply

Liara Covert September 2, 2009 at 8:50 am

One perspective is that detours are a figment of the imagination. As a person chooses to sense advantages and blessings wherever he is, then everything suddenly seems more meaningful. Emotions that do not serve you begin to fall away. You are a blessing for inspiring new levels of awakening.

Reply

John September 2, 2009 at 9:01 am

I used to let the scenery slip away because I was too caught up in the destination. I used to want finish a lot of books just to say that I read X amount of books this summer. I used to want to get things done without understanding how they were to be completed. I always used to think of the end. The end? Why was I so obsessed with the end?

I now realize that the process is just as much fun as the finish line.
.-= John´s Last Fabulous Post ..Reflections Upon a Summer’s End =-.

Reply

Ricardo Bueno September 2, 2009 at 9:10 am

You know Lance, I’ve hit my fair share of detours (challenges). But I’ve learned something… I’ve learned to embrace life’s challenges. Hit them head on and enjoy the lessons brought by each and every moment. I wasn’t always like that of course. I used to complain. But ya know, that got me nowhere!
.-= Ricardo Bueno´s Last Fabulous Post ..How Many People Do You Connect with Daily? =-.

Reply

Jess (Fit Chick in the City) September 2, 2009 at 9:13 am

Thank you for sharing this way of viewing life’s little detours. I don’t know that I have embraced them in the past, but going forward I hope to.
.-= Jess (Fit Chick in the City)´s Last Fabulous Post ..Sugar, Sugar =-.

Reply

Positively Present September 2, 2009 at 9:22 am

I used to be terrible with coping with life’s detours. Even the slightest change would put me in an irritated mood. I’m still not great at dealing with them, but I think I’m getting better and learning to go with the flow a little bit more. Great topic!
.-= Positively Present´s Last Fabulous Post ..the 9 don’ts of dealing with anger =-.

Reply

Nathalie Lussier September 2, 2009 at 9:46 am

What a great way to look at road blocks Lance. I’ve had my share of them, and sometimes there are tears and woe-is-me type of reactions. But lately I’ve really been going with the flow in a totally new way for me. It’s like if I use these road blocks to center and ground myself in terms what’s more important and what I really want in life.

Beautiful.
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s Last Fabulous Post ..Raw Food Detox: The Myth, The Madness… The Magick?! =-.

Reply

Lynn September 2, 2009 at 9:57 am

A friend’s teenage son had an accident last January 1st evening and was in a coma for days, then a slow recovery from brain injuries. But he went off to college as planned a few weeks ago. His mother says that it brought them so much closer together as a family than before because they were always with him, having to drive him everywhere. And my family is going through something similar right now with a family member in the hospital. Such love and closeness as we pull together in a crisis. Thank you for focusing on detours today Lance – they can be such a blessing.
.-= Lynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Nazar Boncuk, Scout and Wheel =-.

Reply

Jannie Funster September 2, 2009 at 10:48 am

Who was it that said “It’s not one thing after the other — it’s ALWAYS something.” 🙂

Knowing it’s always something, we can just bop along in life and yes, take all in stride, remembering that each day, each breath is a wondrous gift. Being a parent has been a great teacher for me to just roll with the punches, being a wife of a type-A guy too has mellowed my previously impatient soul.

The prettiest flowers are always seen on the detour route. (Feel free to quote me on that any time.) 🙂

Did you run into your garage door again with the mini-van, Lance? Oy.
.-= Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Like a bord on a wire, 10 — Double Cod Edition! =-.

Reply

Jay Schryer September 2, 2009 at 11:14 am

On a more literal level, I just have to say that I LOVE detours on the road, and getting lost, too. I have a great sense of adventure, and I love the chance to see things that I might not have seen otherwise.

On the deeper level, I used to get really upset with detours in life. As Positively Present said, I’m getting better with them, but it’s still not my favorite part of life. For me, I always try to look for the opportunities that come with detours, but sometimes they can be hard to find while in the thick of things. Staying calm helps a lot, at least for me it does.
.-= Jay Schryer´s Last Fabulous Post ..New Banners =-.

Reply

Mama Zen September 2, 2009 at 11:43 am

This is a bit of a struggle for me. Although, I’m getter better (wiser?) as I get older.
.-= Mama Zen´s Last Fabulous Post ..Crazy Cleaning Confessions =-.

Reply

Lisa's Chaos September 2, 2009 at 11:46 am

Detours seem to take my life over at times but it all usually works out and often for the better. 🙂
.-= Lisa’s Chaos´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mostly Murals (Philadelphia) =-.

Reply

Carla September 2, 2009 at 11:48 am

Being diagnosed with MS back in January has been a major detour for me. Challenges includes an MS “relapse” that has taken some of my physical ability away, having to leave work and go on disability, losing my job due to being on disability, and health insurance issues has left a empty hole where I though I had an idea of where my future is going to be.

If it’s a detour like “simply” losing your job or your home, that’s easy to get around. When it comes to major, incurable health issues, it takes on a whole different meaning.

With that said, I still try to find the good in my situation and what works. The fact that I can still use my stationary bike and hand weights, or the fact that I have a lot of free time to work on personal interests outside of the 9-5 grin and so on.

Thank you for these reminders!
.-= Carla´s Last Fabulous Post ..Brave, Stupid or Both? =-.

Reply

Tess The Bold Life September 2, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Julie and Liara give us big insights to live up to as I am currently experiencing a detour! So accroding to Julie I need to go with the flow and according to Liara it’s my imagination this is a detour.
Like Funster I be photographing the prettiest flowers. Lance…mini-van…garage door? I’m thinking this is Jannie’s humor but if it’s true…I did it when the girls were small and my husband did it at our cottage! No mini-vans involved though.

So good lesson Lance with deep and fun thinkers!

Reply

Caroline September 2, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Yes, I have had my share of detours. Mostly, I approach them with the attitude of oh sh*t…not this today! I am in a big hurry and cannot have this! Then I stomp my feet and get angry for awhile. But then I come around. And I ALWAYS find that the detour has opened a new door. I have met some incredible people and seen some beautiful “countryside” because of those detours. I think detours are good and necessary in our life.

It is all about attitude though… If you get angry at first…it’s OK…sometimes the detour comes as quite a shock.

But the key is that acceptance needs to happen…and once you accept the detour, the world with unfold in a beautiful way.

Reply

Vered - Blogger for Hire September 2, 2009 at 12:34 pm

I tend to err on the side of whining about life detours… I’m a control freak and hate that life is so hard to PLAN.

But I can see your point. 🙂
.-= Vered – Blogger for Hire´s Last Fabulous Post ..Links for August =-.

Reply

Erin Prais-Hintz September 2, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Well said, my friend. Well said.

I think you can tell a lot about a person when they are confronted head on by these road closed signs. Do you take it with grace? Or does it ruin your day? Especially if it is a small thing, like a little jog in the road. That determines how you handle the big detours of life as well.

I don’t think of these things as getting sidetracked, but rather as a door to an opportunity that I didn’t know existed. Like seeing a different part of the county on a road I have never been on before. Imagine who you might meet along the way that will open up other opportunities!

I always had a secret desire to just jump in my car and start driving…like heading out on the famed Route 66 just to see where it would take me. While I am completely impatient and like to drive like a demon on the highways, it is the draw of a back country road and the lure of a perceived adventure that brings out a latent wanderlust in me.

And as for the garage door thing…I know a guy who could help you with that! It is all in making connections and learning from them every day!

Thanks for such inspiring words. I really take this adventure seriously…After all, I wouldn’t have found The Jungle of Life had I not jumped randomly from a blog in Philadelphia to a blog in my own backyard in Plover to jump to you!

Enjoy the day!
Erin
.-= Erin Prais-Hintz´s Last Fabulous Post ..Riding the Wave =-.

Reply

Evita September 2, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Brilliant view points Lance!

There was a time in my life where I realized a simple, yet profound truth.
“I am always exactly, where I am meant to be”

And today when there is an extra long line up at the post office, or if there are more than a usual number of red lights, or if someone should call just as I am about to walk out the door, or if there is a road detour…. if any hint of frustration sets in, I just say that phrase to myself.

Although I am getting better and better at accepting all moments with humility, in those less than peaceful states, I have to tell you that statement alone does it. It immediately snaps me out and I know everything is exactly as it is meant to be.

We don’t think, what if we got sidetracked on the road somewhere to prevent being in the path of a drunk driver. What if we got held back somewhere for someone who really needed us to find us. “What if”, as you ask is exactly it.

I believe if we take in those moments with a broader perspective, they can be some of our greatest lessons.
.-= Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Evolving Being In Action: Chris Edgar =-.

Reply

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings September 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

The biggest detour I ever had (divorce) was the biggest gift I’ve ever been given. Not only did I learn so much about myself and life in general, it also resulted in me spending 2 years in Banff, Canada. They were a couple of the best years of my life and I got to see and do the most amazing things that I otherwise wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see and do. And I met my current partner who’s one of the kindest, most caring people I know.

When life throws you a lemming, make lemming meringue pie! (No lemmings were harmed in the making of this comment).
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s Last Fabulous Post ..A Happy Camper =-.

Reply

Katie West/The Levity Coach September 2, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Lance…this is fabulous. I love the idea and it is actually something I think about alot.

And what is funny, I mis-read what you wrote, “Do you embrace these detours in your life?”
and instead I read it as “Do you embrace these detours AS your life?”

And I thought…yeah. Life is all about the detours. Once I was on a trip to Greece, I was in the south of Crete and missed the ferry to the mainland which meant I had to spend the night on a beach looking up at the Perseid Meteor Showers and swimming in the phosphorescence. It had a profound impact on the way I choose to face each day and my belief in my own control vs. a greater power in my life. And every day is like this, the world opening up and leading me in ways I never thought life could go in.

Perhaps the detours are indeed the “way” we are each most seeking. Cheers to the detours and the beautiful waters we get to swim in as a result!
.-= Katie West/The Levity Coach´s Last Fabulous Post ..Let’s All Live Like Desperados =-.

Reply

Marelisa September 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Hi Lance: It’s interesting that you write about this topic today. Just yesterday I found this fabulous quote from Joseph Campbell: “”Nietzche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called “the love of your fate.” Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment — not discouragement — you will find the strength is there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow.

In many ways, life is one detour after the other. Imagine if you had the ability to say, whatever happens, I won’t bring discouragement to the moment but an attitude of “OK, this is what I needed to learn today.”

Beautifully written post, by the way.
.-= Marelisa´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Future Belongs to Those Who are Intrinsically Motivated =-.

Reply

BunnygotBlog September 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Well you know when you plan a vacation with friends and each has their responsibilities preparing for the trip but for some reason life just happens and nothing goes as expected.
Your story brought me back to a college trip with four other girls packed in a Pontiac Sunfire , this was back in 1999 or 2000. On the spur of the moment decided to drive to Maine which wasn’t that far for us. One of the girls was sick before we started another got sick on the way. Luckily only three drivers but only two who could read a map. We found out the hard way 112 miles in the wrong direction but we must have seen most of Vermont. I was driving I saw road but it is a great memory.
.-= BunnygotBlog´s Last Fabulous Post ..Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Human Needs =-.

Reply

Cameron September 2, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Great post, great blog. I used to be so committed to the plan I had for my life, my career, my future. It ruled what I did. As I grew older I suddenly didn’t “want” the same things I had planned for for so long. I started to realize that if you don’t keep an open mind about the things life brings you, you might very well miss the most important opportunities of all.

I just moved to NYC about 2 years ago. The year before that, I said “I would never, ever ever Live in NYC.” That is life. Opportunity knocked, and so much good came of it, good that I’m not sure would have come our way otherwise.

Thanks for the thought provoking words.

Stop by if you have time,
Cameron from
http://www.conquerthemonkey.com

Reply

Patricia September 2, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Oh I love the comments on this post – and it is a good post to illicit such comments.
I used to believe I could get everything just set and planned and then I would not have to redo everything and start over. Once I walked I could then proceed onto run without having to learn walk over again.
My life has been continuous detours of going back to learn even crawl over again and again, because when you get on the familiar path I too often miss the messages and flowers blooming along the way – too much of a hurry to get to the next experience/accomplishment.
When I stopped resisting all the detours – or just got a new toothbrush when I left mine at home – the journey just got so much more pleasant…the rewards for the tough going were bigger. I don’t flow but I don’t drive through any more it is my understanding that I do not need to “push the river as it flows by itself’
Thank you for sharing this. Good luck with the garage door.
.-= Patricia´s Last Fabulous Post ..I Spy…Beauty =-.

Reply

Wendi Kelly-Life's Little Inspirations September 2, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Lance,

I have like this entire year has been one detour after another! In fact so many of them that it sometimes felt I have been going around in circles! It has been a challenge for our family to maintain our positive attitudes and goals in the face of some really difficult and sad happenings. Hopefully they are behind us now and in the next two weeks we are going to celebrate ONE MORE detour, this time a happy one as my son gets married to a girl I already think of as my daughter and we are all very excited! So yes, some detours can be wonderful after all!
.-= Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations´s Last Fabulous Post ..Amazing Dirty Dishes =-.

Reply

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching September 2, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Thanks for this Lance. It occurs to me that it’s an interesting paradox that, although our time is valuable, stressing out about the possibility that we’re “wasting time” makes it hard to enjoy the moments we have.

Reply

Sagan September 2, 2009 at 5:31 pm

I like to think that I embrace the detours- sometimes they present the opportunity for something even better than what we thought we had wanted!
.-= Sagan´s Last Fabulous Post ..Day Two of the Vegan Challenge and Holiday Recap =-.

Reply

Zeenat{Positive Provocations} September 2, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Hi Lance,
I am feeling literally all smiley and happy after reading this post today. Cause, I am personally a go with the flow kind of person. But even then i used to miss the fun of the detours few years back..till i actually had a very uplifting experience on one such detour. I met the love of my life on this detour and since then i am a Fan of taking chances. Thankfully both me and my hubby are the same. We live one day at a time..and dont let the future bother us too much. We are kind of happy that our today is just perfect, and God willing the future will be just that. My hubby still teases me about how uptight i was when i met him the first time..:)
And i with Jay a 100% on the adventure a detour can bring. Can truly be so much fun.
Detours are good if we keep our mind and heart open to new experiences, otherwise they can be a huge pain. Now its up to us Exhilarating experience or painful experience???Our choice!
.-= Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s Last Fabulous Post ..Stress Less =-.

Reply

Daphne @ Joyful Days September 2, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Lance,

Funnily enough, I just drafted a post on failed relationships, and had picked a photo from Flickr that said, guess what? “Detour”!

I’m starting to think that life itself is a detour – we could have zipped through the universe in whatever energy form we started as, instead of slowing down to come to earth and spend decades here. What a long long detour. And what a ride it turns out to be! So if life itself is a detour, why worry about the little detours within that great detour? One day we’ll return to the universe and this detour will be over, so enjoy it while it lasts… 🙂
.-= Daphne @ Joyful Days´s Last Fabulous Post ..My Baby Turns One =-.

Reply

Jen September 2, 2009 at 6:37 pm

hi Lance,
I loved this post! I have heard this mentioned before, but I love how you reminded us of it again.. and added some new twists! 😉 Great job!
I like this sign: Change in the name of progress. thanks!
Really, it is all about opportunities, that take the most courage to embrace – while we’re on detour! It’s the fact that we don’t know what will happen next, that determines our character, and our willingness to prepare moment to moment ->for a vision that still shines beyond the mysterious detour lines in and of itself. I believe that ‘Visualization’ helps the most despite circumstance, so I keep my catalog books handy so I continue to create from wherever I’m at. It works! and adds confidence! 😉
I would say if we’re all honest with ourselves, we’ve had good and bad detours… sometimes, I think i could’ve had a better attitude, and other times I was rockin’ resilient. lol. So, really, I think over time we grow, and mature and realize the more we ‘let go of the illusion that we were ever in control’.. the more we enjoy the ride! I learn to embrace every day ‘expecting miracles’, detours or not! This is the beauty of life! 🙂
Namaste! luv Jen

Reply

Elliot September 2, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Lance,
Great article. I think there was one particular line in your article that makes all the difference – “When we can see the positive, the good that’s out there – those detours in life can be very life-fulfilling.” Wayne Dyer has a great quote along the same lines – “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” If we all would just look at what happens to our lives differently, we can see the bigger picture.

This has been a major philosophy in our lives. We actually just put up a Gratitude page discussing the importance of being grateful for everything that comes into your life, good or bad, and your detour post came along right at the same time. Coincidence? Some may think so, but everything happens for a reason.
(Side note: Lance, since you are a lover of quotes (as am I), you might like the most recent post on our home page.)
.-= Elliot´s Last Fabulous Post ..6 Inspirational Quotes from the film World’s Fastest Indian =-.

Reply

FatFighterTV September 2, 2009 at 10:18 pm

Those dang detours are everywhere, aren’t they? I really believe that everything in life happens for a reason (well, maybe not locking yourself out of your house and stuff like that…), and while you may not know what that reason is at the time you are struggling, you usually figure it out later in life when you look back. It has happened to me several times and I’m sure it will continue.
.-= FatFighterTV´s Last Fabulous Post ..New Report: Tax junk foods and soft drinks to fight childhood obesity =-.

Reply

Walter September 3, 2009 at 1:19 am

I agree with you, detours are something we should embrace. If we look at it on a different lens, it may have some hidden message that will bring improvement into our life.

But more often than not we are resistant to those sudden change. We prefer our usual way of knowing things. The sad part is that we will never grow with this kind of attitude. 🙂
.-= Walter´s Last Fabulous Post ..Powerful blog secret: Affective writing =-.

Reply

Mindful Mimi September 3, 2009 at 1:58 am

Hi Lance,
I am a big believer of ‘Everything happens for a reason’. And I know that with a death in the family or cancer or something BIG like that it is difficult to find any reason at all for this happening to you. But there always is something to take away from it, some lesson to be learned. So I always ask myself ‘why is this happening to me’. And I do not always find the answer right away, but it leaves my mind open to see the possibilities, the opportunities for growing, for learning, for helping others etc. It is not always easy that is for sure. And like all of us, I do get down and wonder what life is all about. And that is ok. That is a phase to help you get to the next level.
This morning my kids were driving me nuts. Literally up the wall. They were sticking to me like glue, following me around, hanging on me, asking me things, crying, moaning etc. After a while it was just enough and I couldn’t take it. I closed the door on them. I needed some peace. They cried outside the bedroom for a while and then just went on with their business. I had time to breathe and calm down (never for long ;-). And it taught me that I need to place myself elsewhere when they are like that or I will be nasty. So I just leave the room to calm down and that usually works.
Thanks for sharing this insight.
Mimi
.-= Mindful Mimi´s Last Fabulous Post ..Sunday laugh =-.

Reply

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord September 3, 2009 at 4:53 am

Ah detours! It depends on which day you ask me: a happy day will see me shouting “hoorah for detours, because they’re meant to be!” but a grumpy day will see me sulking and thinking, “are you freakin’ kidding me? AGAIN?”
My biggest perceived detour in life came at age 25 when I was gently shoved onto the spiritual path I’m now on by God, himself (or herself…I’m open here!). At the time I had no idea why the road I had been taking and thought I could continue taking was all torn up and untraversable. So I started my detour and at first was pretty crotchity about the whole thing. However, the longer the detour continued, the more I relaxed into it and even started enjoying the new scenery. Turns out the new road was so much nicer, kinder, and better suited to me than the old one was!
And so it’s been.
What a fun and dare I say brilliant post?!
I loved it, Lance. Thank you for sharing it with us.
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Resentment Is Ridiculous =-.

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 5:03 am

@Michelle – Michelle, it’s great having you here. And thanks for sharing so honestly and openly. This is definitely just a detour in your life. And I’m sure there were times that it’s felt like much more than that – like it’s a lot to get through. In it all, I really believe our attitude plays a big part – and Michelle, just from your comment here – I feel you’re attitude is one of possibility – and that’s a great place to be. Keep on smiling…

@Diane – Hi Diane. Some detours are longer than others – and in fact may not even seem like a detour after a while – more like the permanent path. But look what you’ve accomplished! Those ten years, while I’m sure they were difficult ones, also serve you well today, I’m sure – as a reminder of what you’ve overcome to get to where you are. And I’m sorry to hear about your septic system. I know our just sits there and does it’s thing – and it’s such a big expense if it needs repair/replacement. I hope your goes as well as it can.

@Yum Yucky – Hey, I can’t imagine you being grumpy, Josie. And I do have to agree – that when I first come into one of these “life detours”, I don’t necessarily see the good. Our attitude plays such a big role here, and yours is so good. For some, this isn’t quite as easy – and if we can find a way to “lift up” in these moments, we can help someone else more easily get through this detour. And guess what? I made it out of the garage. It took four family member and about a half hour to get out (is that sad?). Repairs…hopefully coming soon…

@Stacey Shipman – Stacey, what a great point you bring up. Do we sometimes get on these detours in our life, and not really examine why we’re there? And if it’s the wrong path for us, then it’s time to find a path off of this detour, and into the directions we desire in our life. Another thing is that sometimes the detours help us to realize that we were on the wrong path to begin with. The detour can be a time to slow down, and re-think why we’re doing what we’re doing. Enjoying life – so easy to say, isn’t it – and yet at times, so hard to do. Especially in moments that feel like a struggle for us. Stacey, I know you’re exactly where you need to be right now, and you’ll come out of all of this with not only an even more “right” direction for you, also a better understanding of you. Godspeed.

@Julie – In our struggles, there are so many lessons to be learned. That doesn’t always make them easy. And sometimes just where we are in the continuum of our life can make all the difference in how we handle it all. And, Julie, what deep thoughts here on seeing the real value of struggle being the worlds within our being that are focused on…if we allow that to happen. Going with the flow…I love it! Now, if I can just allow that to happen when that next curveball comes my way!! Julie, I appreciate so much always, the insight you share…

@Srinivas – A detour to the beach, that sounds like a pretty sweet detour indeed!! And good for you on cutting back on drinking and smoking – what a great, great side benefit of going to the beach! I have to think you’re feeling healtier and more filled with life, and that’s such a great feeling!

@Liara – So, maybe then – another way of looking at this is as detours really being the path we’re to be on, at that moment – for whatever reason. Whether we call that a detour, or just the natural path for us – your point is well taken, Liara. There are blessings in it all, especially when we open ourselves up to see the possibilities.

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 7:13 am

@John – Going for the destination, without taking in the journey – John, you’re hitting upon something that is really so profound. Life is in that journey, which you’ve come to realize. And what a great place for you to have reached. I think we can sometimes get obsessed with the end because it feels like that’s the “prize”. That’s what we’re shooting for. Yet, it’s only such a small part of the whole. Great thoughts today John, thanks much!

@Ricardo – Hey, it’s great to see you here Ricardo! Embracing the detours, the challenges in life – that’s great! Sometimes this can be so hard to do, but like you’ve said – where is the resistance and the complaining getting us? Nowhere. Such a great point to remember.

@Jess – It’s great having you here, Jess. And thanks for being so honest. This isn’t easy stuff – embracing the challenges in our life. I think we all have moments where this can be a struggle. So, know that you’re not alone. And know also that you CAN do this – and that there is much goodness on these detours in life…even if we can’t see them at the start…

@Positively Present – Hi Dani. It can be easy to become irritated, frustrated, angry, etc – about the detours life presents us with. You’re not alone. And it’s about making steps in the right direction. You don’t have to get it all right the first time. You’ll get there, except for days when you don’t. Because we all have those days, days that challenge us in ways that do cause us to look through the scarcity lens instead of the abundance lens. So Dani, you are doing just fine. And know that I’m there with you, fighting these same battles, hopefully making progress toward being more accepting of these moments…but sometimes not.

@Nathalie – I really think that’s part of the journey, it’s in going through some of these moments ourselves, and learning from our own first-hand experience what those moments feel like. And that can very often mean seeing these moments as challenges instead of opportunities. And that’s okay, especially if we can take something from that moment – something that helps us the next time be a little more accepting of the detour. And look where it’s brought you today – to this place where you can view these roadblocks as a grounding experience. Nathalie, what a great place to be!

@Lynn – Lynn, thanks so much for sharing this story. On the surface, it just seems like a very tragic one, and yet look where it’s taken this family – toward a much closer family relationship. While it’s hard to wish something like this on someone, this is still such a great story of what truly embracing the detours can do. And I think everyone who reads this can gather some hope in what can be…if we accept and allow these detours in our lives. And Lynn, know that I’m thinking of you and your own family during the crisis your in right now. Embrace that love that’s being strengthened through this…

@Jannie – Exactly! Life is maybe one big detour! Bopping along – I love that term! It just sounds so carefree and accepting of life and it’s directions it take us. (I’m going to bop with you!). And yes – parenthood throws a whole new set of detours into our life – daily! And it’s all good… Oh, and Jannie – great “Jannie quote”, by the way – I’ll be out there today looking for some of those really pretty flowers! So now, that garage…I’m thinking we need you, Jannie – to drive our mini-vannie! This time, though – I didn’t run into the garage door. It was shooting cables and springs all over the place (I just don’t think that was a good thing!). Mr. Repairman is stopping by today…maybe he’ll run into it…

Reply

Christy September 3, 2009 at 7:45 am

I really enjoyed reading this today. Thanks! I also shared it with my friends on facebook. I am one of those who doesn’t mind change. I know alot of people who don’t and try to stay the same instead of growing and changing as their lives change. I think that is the part of life that I love because you never know what will happen next. Life is a challenge and you have to take it as it comes. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days where I complain but for the most part I enjoy the challenges and working on the solutions. It makes life more exciting.

Reply

Nadia - Happy Lotus September 3, 2009 at 7:57 am

Hi Lance,

I love detours…for I ended up always in a better place than if I had gone down the road that I thought was perfect.

Life is so beautiful and sometimes when we are so caught up on one way, we lose sight of the possibilities. Like Megan, my life was thrown a huge detour when I was 25. I had every possible thing that I thought would make me happy and I was miserable. The emptiness was so scary to me and the thought that the rest of my life would feel that empty made me determined to get rid of the emptiness. And thus began my intense spiritual quest to find happiness and myself.

That realization was a huge detour and set me on a road with more detours but I am all the better because of it. So in my mind, detours rock! 🙂
.-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Unity of Words, Thoughts and Deeds =-.

Reply

LifeMadeGreat | Juliet September 3, 2009 at 8:00 am

Hi Lance

Wonderful thoughts. I fully embrace the large detours in my life, but have a great deal more difficulty when it comes to the smaller stuff. I shall keep this in mind when I am next standing in a queue.

Juliet
.-= LifeMadeGreat | Juliet´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Test of Three =-.

Reply

suzen September 3, 2009 at 9:04 am

Detours, gotta love ’em. They will happen whether you like it or not, plan for it or not, have “the time” or not – it one of those things that screams Acceptance at you! This is a wonderful post, Lance, and the comments too! I just wrote a draft of a blog with the very same theme – we are in sync again and this is really getting spooky, haha! This subject everyone relates to because you cannot escape the detours popping up. It’s not what happens to us (detours) – it’s how we respond/react to it that is the jewel! I’ve had my share of screaming, swearing and fighting it when I was younger and thought I had control over everything or assumed I SHOULD! Somehow I was over-looked for my Academy Award. I was definitely a Drama Queen! (The past tense a key here!)

I love how you used “scenery”! Another gentle reminder to enjoy the ride no matter what! Thanks, Lance!
.-= suzen´s Last Fabulous Post ..Fanny Farmer: A Lady In Waiting =-.

Reply

Hilda September 3, 2009 at 9:14 am

Oh Lance, I love this! Like others have suggested, I too am inclined to think that life is all about the detours. We can still get to where we want to be, but often we get sent there in a round-about, longer way. But I do think that if that’s what has happened, then that is what we need, even if in the moment we can only see the delay.

When I find myself on a detour I remind myself that I am always in the right place at the right time for my highest good. And that helps to shift any feelings of frustration/irritation/upset to curiosity as to why I’m here instead of where I’d intended to be. It’s a great help, cos if I’m open to other possibilities, I’m more likely to spot them 🙂

Here’s to bopping along with an open mind 😉

Reply

Evelyn Lim September 3, 2009 at 9:27 am

I feel that every detour is perfect on its own. The reason is that each has taught me something new. Hence, I don’t perceive a detour as a detour. Each, in fact, is very much an illusion. The illusion dissolves, allowing me realize that all perceived detours are very much part of my journey.

Reply

Karl Staib - Work Happy Now September 3, 2009 at 9:56 am

I really want to say yes, but most of the time my first thought is, “Arrrrrgh!” How long is this going to take.

Then. Yes, there is a then. My practice (Yoga, meditation, and perspective adjusting) kicks in. I take a few deep breaths then keep searching for a positive to the situation. The most practical of my practice is when I’m at a red lights. I used to hate them, but now I can tolerate them. So when I’m stuck, I look out my window and search for something beautiful to enjoy. It can be a person standing at the intersection or a tree blowing in the wind.

By reading posts like this one and practicing daily rituals I get better at making this a habit. I have a long way to go, but that’s what the journey is all about.

Reply

Audra Krell September 3, 2009 at 10:59 am

Well it seems we’ve all got a detour story, so maybe like another commenter said, detours are an expected way of life. I think about them a lot too, I kind of look for them, I always want to know what I might be missing “over there,” around that next curve, up that next hill. When I ‘m hiking I have a very hard time with this, I deeply desire to arrive at the end of something, but then you have to leave time for the journey home as well!
I’m busy every day trying to figure out the meaning and the good behind the constant snakes in my kitchen! I don’t know what it is, but I do there is something good behind it! : )

Reply

J.D. Meier September 3, 2009 at 11:46 am

> Is life that structured …
I love that line.

I used to live my life without buffers, now I build them in by design. Instead of reacting to traffic, I expect it.

I found a paradox I didn’t expect. I avoided scheduling my time because I like free time and random, unstructured time. The irony is when I finally scheduled my time, I made more free, unstructured time, by scheduling for it.
.-= J.D. Meier´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Way Things Are, the Way Things Should Be, and the Way You Want Things to Be =-.

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 12:08 pm

@Jay – Sometimes a trip off the “main drag” can be a fun diversion. And a way to see some new places. That’s not something easy for everyone to embrace, though – so good for you!! And a great point you’re bringing up about see the opportunities while in the thick of things – on the detours of life. What I think is that sometimes those opportunites don’t present themselves right away, and it might not be until you’re down the proverbial road a ways before some of these things are “seen”. Great thoughts…

@Mama Zen – You’re not alone. It can be a struggle to head into some unknown direction, especially when it happens abruptly. Sometimes it gets easier with age, and sometimes it really doesn’t – so good for you, on really trying…

@Lisa’s Chaos – Yes, detours in life…there’s usually something good that comes from them.

@Carla – Carla, you’re speaking from very personal experience, and that is so appreciated here. I can’t imagine how difficult this could be for you. And at the same time, I’m so moved by your conviction to keep moving forward, which I’ve witnessed for some time now. So, I can’t say to you, with all honesty, that there’s something “good” in where you’re at. Maybe there is, maybe not. What I am sure of is that you are handling this all with such grace, and that right there is so refreshing. You’re right, this does take on a whole different meaning when you’re talking something serious and personal. Carla, know that I wish you only the best in all of this…always.

@Tess – Yes, going with the flow, or really embracing the detour – can be very liberating. Still, not necessarily easy. And those pretty flowers…they’re out there. As to the garage door – no crashing involved. Broken springs and cables everywhere. Ugh. That’s a heavy door when you have to open it by hand!! Now…to get it fixed… And to you, Tess – you and your husband both finding that garage door (=funny! although probably not at the time!)

@Caroline – Caroline, I think we’ve all had those sorts of days – where we’re rushed and want everything to go “just as planned” – only to have something go awry. And you’re right, who knows what unknown door this might open – even if it’s at what seems like the worst possible time. Attitude and acceptance – so important! Great points Caroline.

@Vered – And sometimes that’s good too – to let it all out. There’s something about control that feels “safe”. Yet, really how much control do we really have? I’m not sure…

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

@Erin – Erin, this is so good. You’re right, how little thing “affect” us are really a sign of just how we’ll be with bigger things too. And so if this is an area someone struggles with, starting by practicing with the smaller “detours” is the place to do this. Working on easier and more manageable chunks will prepare people for when bigger things happen. So, here’s to discovering those detours in life, and out on the open highway! And…the wanderlust…I love it! Road trip!! And isn’t it amazing how connections are made – I’m so glad our paths have crossed. And to think you’re so close, and yet – traveled so far for our connection to happen. Which I think is so cool! And the garage…well, we’re getting it fixed (it felt like we were locked in for a bit – when we couldn’t get the door open!).

@Evita – I love that “truth” you’ve shared, Evita. As I sit here and really let that thought enter into my soul, there’s a calm that comes with it. This is so good – I’m instantly feeling the comfort these words provide. And looking at the bigger picture – what a difference that makes too. It’s easy to focus on the NOW picture – yet, that may have little impact in the much bigger picture of our lives…or it may have a big impact too. Still, thinking big picture in all of this does give some reassurance as to where we are and that it’s okay.

@Sami – I know this (your divorce) was not really a pleasant time in your life – and so hearing this today – this is so good for us. Not in that divorce is a good thing. No, really that this detour in your life – one that has brought you to a much better place – while difficult at the time – now, turns out to be a real and positive turning point in your life. So happy for you, Sami! And that pie…well, I’ve never had lemming in pie, but I do love pie…so I’m coming over!!

@Katie – Life is about the detours…there’s a thought that has a lot of truth behind it. Doesn’t mean the detours are all easy or even fun. It’s just that life doesn’t always go as planned. And this idea of detours being the way we are seeking – hmmm….that’s really an interesting thought. What I am sure of, is that even the thought of this is both adventurous and calming. And I love that thought (so if it is true, that’s pretty cool!). Now…as to your detour in Crete…next time you take a trip, I want to come with!!!

@Marelisa – Hi Mare. Wow, that’s such a powerful quote! Bringing love to the moment, no matter what that moment is. This is so good, because life is full of these moments – and what better way to embrace it all than with love and then action. Thanks so much for sharing this, and it really ties in so well with all of this. Mare, what beautiful insight you’ve shared today…

@Bunny – what a great story, Bunny! And look at the memories this “down the wrong road” created for you and your friends!

@Cameron – Hi Cameron! What you’re saying is so well said – maybe too often we lock ourselves in to what we think is the right “road”, that we miss some of the detours along the way – detours that could lead us right to where we truly want to be. And thanks for sharing your own personal story – what a great example of taking a path you hadn’t planned to – and seeing success because you did this. That’s wonderful!

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 3:42 pm

@Patricia – Hi Patricia. Aren’t the comments so great – people have shared so deeply and honestly. And what a great point – this idea that we get rushed when we’re on the normal route of our life – and what are we missing along the way. Maybe, in a way, these life detours are a chance for us to slow down and see what’s there, what maybe always been there – and we just haven’t noticed. And resisitance…something which hinders our real and deep progress. Good stuff to remember. And the garage – broken springs and cables – replacement parts are on order…soon…it will be fixed!

@Wendi – Wendi, it’s so good to see you. I’m so sorry to hear how difficult this past year has been. Challenges (detours) can be even more difficult when they’re stacked on top of each other. So good to see you coming out on this side of them. And congratulations to your son and soon-to-be daughter in law!

@Chris Edgar – Stress…known to cause health issues, AND making it difficult to enjoy (and maybe even more appropriately experience) the moments of our life. Great point!

@Sagan – Keep on embracing them, Sagan! And yes, they sure can present the opportunity for “even greater”!

@Zeenat – Hi Zeenat. That’s awesome, we love smiley and happy!! And there you go – meeting the love of your life because of a life detour – how’s that for a super great detour to be on! Being open to new experiences…so important, isn’t it. And you’ve shown truly how this can be – you and your husband – great story!

@Daphne – Hi Daphne. I tell you, I think our brains might be wired the same way! I almost used a photo with the word “Detour” on it – wouldn’t that have been wild! And I love what you’re saying, the our time here on earth is just a detour, all in part of our travels through everlasting life! Wow! That’s such a big and amazing thought! Okay, I’m going to enjoy it all just a bit more – on this great big detour!!

@Jen – Hi Jen. Change in the name of progress. Yes, change shouldn’t be just because. Change should be because we want to change something, not just because we can. Great point to remember. Courage. Do you know, that’s a word I’ve made as my focus for the year. And I couldn’t agree more, Jen – when we have the courage to embrace the changes in our life – amazing things can happen! Visualization – this sounds so good – and now I want to know more about how this works for you. And yes, I agree that I don’t think anyone can say that they’ve handled all the detours with ease. Life is indeed beautiful and filled with miracles everyday! So, so good to read this Jen, thank you!

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 4:30 pm

@Elliot – Hi Elliot. Yes, I think there’s a lot to that – how we look at things. Do we see these detours as negative, or can we see the positive in them? That can make all the difference. Thanks for sharing the Dyer quote. I’ll check out what you have on gratitude – that fits so well with this concept – because really we have so much to be grateful for, even the detours life sends our way – as we’ve seen here in the comments – these moments too can be so good for us, especially if we embrace them.

@FatFighterTV – Yes, Sahar, the detours are EVERYWHERE!! And the idea of everything happening for a reason – a thought I love, because if we can embrace these moments, they all can be such powerful moments in our journey. Now, about that locking yourself out of your house – personal experience, Sahar? This sounds good – when will I hear more about it???

@Walter – Growth certainly does come in those moments when we’re challenged, doesn’t it. And that right there should be reason enought to embrace the detours. In the moment, though, this can be hard sometimes. Hmm… maybe if there was a way to practice this in a safe environment…

@Mimi – Hi Mimi. I am too a believer in ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Even if the answers don’t come right away, that’s okay. And Mimi, thanks so much for sharing your own story from today. With kids, there are always lots of detours. What you did was a great thing, giving yourself some space from the “situation”. And getting yourself into a moment of calm, what wonders that can do. A detour for sure, and one you handled with awesome instincts. Your children are lucky to have you in their life…

@Megan – Okay, I’m smiling. Isn’t that ever true! What can one day seem like nothing, the next day will be a major crisis. Haven’t we all been there? Even when we think we’ve got this stuff kind of figured out (not sure that I do), this still happens. Life. And Megan, thanks for sharing about your own personal journey. And I’m so, so happy for you and for this path that life has taken you on in your own spirituality. What an amazing path it can be, these detours, when we allow them to become into our being. Megan, thank you!

@Christy – Thanks so much for sharing this – I really appreciate it! And what a great mindset to be in – welcoming the change that comes into your life! That’s awesome! Here’s to all the exciting moments life brings our way!

@Nadia – Hi Nadia. I do know part of your story, and it’s a wonderful one of the detour life took you on, and where it’s led you to today. That deep emptiness can be a real feeling of despair, and I’m so happy you’ve found this spiritual quest that brought you to a place filled with so much love and caring. Detours indeed do rock (although, for some reason – I don’t always see that in the moment!)

@Juliet – That’s interesting, how you’ve embraced the larger detours, yet smaller ones can still prove challenging. Maybe it’s something about how big they are that motivates you to take them on. And this has me really thinking, Juliet, how the size of the detour affect me. Hmmm…. much to think about here….good stuff!

Reply

Barbara Swafford September 3, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Hi Lance,

I’m laughing at this post. You see, when we became self employed, it became of life of detours. It’s rare things are “on schedule”, whether that is the job itself, what time we eat dinner, when the money comes in, or what time I go to bed.

At first it was upsetting to me as I was used to a halfway normal schedule, but after all these years , I take it with a grain of salt and roll with the punches. I’ve learned everything happens for a reason and some things in their own time. Often I look back and will say, “Hmmm, if that didn’t happen, then “this” wouldn’t have happened…”. It’s like detours are blessings in disguise. 🙂
.-= Barbara Swafford´s Last Fabulous Post ..Readers vs Bots – Making Everyone Happy =-.

Reply

Lance September 3, 2009 at 7:41 pm

@Suzen – Synchronicity! Very cool! And yes, it is how we respond in these detours of life. So, you WERE a drama queen! See, today I never would have guessed that. So, you’ve done well, my friend! I’m thinking Academy Award in some other category – maybe humor!

@Hilda – Taking the round about way…I like it! Just because we’re on a detour in our life, it doesn’t mean we still won’t reach wherever we were headed. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. There is something there, though, in those detours of life, something worth embracing…and that’s so good to remember. And I love the reminder you use, much like what Evita has said above – and something I see as so helpful in this whole process. I’m boppin’ with you, Hilda…and it’s all good and it’s all right!

@Evelyn – As in, maybe that detour was meant to happen for a reason…so good to think about. And if we view our lives as an ever changing and evolving life, then there is so much we can always learn – no matter where we are in our life. Part of the journey…what a wonderful thought, Evelyn…

@Karl – I know what you mean…I can get that way too – getting caught up in the moment, and forgetting that this is all part of the journey. And what great techniques you’re using to really get you focused on your inner strengths. And when we can do that – I think we have a much better ability to “be” in the moment – even those moments that can be challenging. And seeing the beauty around us…another great way to appreciate the world instead of getting hung up on the detours we’re on. Great stuff, Karl!

@Audra – Hi Audra. Okay, the snakes that continue to raid your house…hmmm…I’m just going to say I’m glad it’s you on THAT detour!! Yikes!! And to your other thought – yes, there’s just so much in our world – and detours are another opportunity to experience something we might not ever get to. And that’s really pretty awesome!

@J.D. Meier – Structured life? Sometimes it might seem like it, and yet – you know what – the world doesn’t stop because we’re not doing everything we always do. I think it helps to put things in perspective – how we are really just a speck here on this earth. An imporpant speck, but a speck none the less. And scheduling in free time – what a great idea – as a way to make sure you’re getting some time that just doesn’t have anything going on – except what YOU want!

@Barbara – Hi Barbara. Okay, so you live in detours! And look how well that’s turned out – you’ve done so well! That you’re rolling with the punches – I love that phrase – is really fully embracing the life detours that come your way. And it just sounds like things have worked out very well for you…hmmm…the detours are a pretty good thing!

Reply

Amanda Linehan September 3, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Hi Lance – Detours. Great subject to talk about because there are a lot of them! I find that some of the detours that I find the most irritating at first, turn out to take me to a place that I really needed to find. Nice post!
.-= Amanda Linehan´s Last Fabulous Post ..How To Regain Your Confidence =-.

Reply

Jennifer September 3, 2009 at 9:41 pm

What a beautiful post Lance!! It’s funny. I read this right after being stuck on the interstate due to an 18 wheeler accident. While it wasn’t a “detour” around construction, it was a detour in my plans – my trek home. And as I was typing that last sentence and trying to leave a comment here my dog gave me the message that he had to go out (I used to just make him wait- that is… until he started having so many digestive problems) and then my neighbor came over to talk. 🙂 All that was after the UPS man stopped with our delivery. Wow, lots of detours today! But, each one had great things wrapped up in them. I got to have some much needed relaxation time sitting in traffic, got to take a break for some fresh air, bond with a neighbor, and get my delivery. Of course these are just small things. Much bigger detours call for more of an effort to see the bright side. Right now I think I’m on a bit of a bigger detour and I’m not sure where I’ll end up. I can’t say every thought has been one of enjoyment, but I believe the detour now is looking to be beautiful!

Sure hope the garage door is fixed by now. That sure sounded like a fun morning.

Thanks again for such a beautiful post!
.-= Jennifer´s Last Fabulous Post ..Success or Failure? =-.

Reply

Hilary September 4, 2009 at 5:26 am

Hi Lance – thanks for the diversion! Now I’m stopped .. I can get going again!

Things don’t happen unless we can cope with them .. or more importantly learn from them – and it may not be us ourselves, as we struggle with infirmity (I don’t – but one of your readers has I’m sure), it’s the people round us – we perhaps need to lead.

The less serious blips in the round .. we just need to side step and get on – as you say we can’t go that route, so we need to find another path to travel

& everything is an opportunity, and there will be positive coming out, it’s a nightmare, but even in a nightmare .. mini one with the garage door, major one with an accident – we have to get through it and from it we learn – we must move on.

We perhaps need guidance from others .. may be they come into our lives anyway – spiritual helpers – or we have to find them .. I found someone for my mother, little did I know how much value she has provided for my mother, me, and the family by her professionalism .. and she’s now been with us 2 years and is really part of the family.

I’ve been lucky in that I’ve learnt to adapt over the years .. and one of my ‘general mantras’ is I turn on my heel (at a challenge/ problem) re-evaluate and get going with another strategy.

Thanks .. all the best and have a lovely long weekend ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s Last Fabulous Post ..Where are Pelicans? =-.

Reply

Laurie September 4, 2009 at 6:34 am

I hit a detour last night with a friend. She has worked so hard to move past her baggage and the behaviors that went with it. Last night I realized that she has sunk back into some of those old behaviors. So my detour is to have one of those difficult conversations. One of those “truth in love” talks where I call it what it is and challenge her to not stop at this place on her journey. Funny thing, she made it obvious as to what was going on. I really think she was wanting me to know so we can have this talk. Wish me luck Lance.

Reply

Jewel/Pink Ink September 4, 2009 at 8:42 am

I agree completely, Lance. Detours can be very good things. So long as they don’t distract us from our bigger destinations…

Being open to detours makes life more interesting.

PS I wonder why, though, when my husband suggests we take a detour out in the wilderness in his SUV, I like to stick to the main paved road LOL
.-= Jewel/Pink Ink´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Freedom To Write =-.

Reply

Lance September 4, 2009 at 1:02 pm

@Amanda – Hi Amanda. Yes, they can sometimes be around every corner, can’t they! And yes, some that seem to be the biggest struggle can end up being so good for us…interesting, isn’t it…

@Jennifer – Jennifer, thank you. So, you had a whole bunch of detours yesterday! And how typical is that, when we have these “detours”, even small, in our life? Happens quite a bit, doesn’t it. And just because it changes our plans a bit, that doesn’t mean it’s bad at all. Look at all the good you had! The bigger detours, the ones that challenge us on a greater level, these can be more difficult to fully embrace. And the thing is, sometimes we don’t know where those detours will take us. I really like what Evita has said above – “I am always exactly, where I am meant to be”. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it at the time, but I think there’s some comfort that comes from this statement. Jennifer, I know your faith is strong, and that too is something we can use to carry us through the challenging detours of life. Know that there is amazing light in your life, and even these bigger detours hold special meaning for you. The garage…it’s coming along…

@Hilary – Ha! Stopped on the detour of life – I love it! Opportunity, that’s such a good word to go along with this post. Opportunities in all moments. To learn. To heal. To give. To share. To “be”. To love. So good to remember, thank you!

@Laurie – Laurie, I’m sorry to hear this. Difficult conversations are never easy. Maybe she is at a point where she’s ready for this. And your the guidance she may need right now. Laurie, I know you can do this – with love there with you, this too shall be a detour that provides goodness and hope.

@Jewel – Good point. Sometimes we may be steered toward a new destination, and that’s okay if it really does speak to us. If we still want to reach the original destination, then it’s important to keep that focus, even on the detours of life. And Jewel…I think you should jump at the chance to head into the wilderness in that SUV!! Have a great weekend!

Reply

Hermann Shinglemeister September 4, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I have been a previous lurker here but must break my silence to say I highly approve of this blog.
.-= Hermann Shinglemeister´s Last Fabulous Post ..Ridiculously Green — Austin’s “Ladybird Lake” Hike & Bike Trail =-.

Reply

Lance September 4, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Hermann (err…Jannie????),
Okay, I can’t stop myself from laughing out loud! You are too funny!! Okay, not too funny (don’t ever stop being funny!). You are way fun and funny and awesome and cool! Hermann (err…Jannie), you rock my world whenever you’re here!!! I highly approve of your visits!!

Reply

CG Walters September 4, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Lance,
It always amazes me that even as busy as you are, you always have time to give to (more and more) others.
Continued blessings and inspiration to you,
CG
.-= CG Walters´s Last Fabulous Post ..Laughing IS Praying =-.

Reply

Jannie Funster September 4, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Darnit! Hermann is out visiting. He’s the new secretary to my blog assistant’s helper and I think he’s gotten a remarkably big head ever since I hired him. But he’s a great roofer and one hell of a cook!
.-= Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Ridiculously Green — Austin’s “Ladybird Lake” Hike & Bike Trail =-.

Reply

Lotus Peng September 5, 2009 at 2:25 am

Hi Lance, it is my fisrt time to be here. I am glad to find you blog by chance. I am working at office, very tired, so your green picture gives me fresh energy. And your views on detours of life are resonated with me. But if 2 months before, I didn’t have the same thought. At that time, I confronted the detour of my life, but what I did at first was to escape , not meet it head on. Whether we want to do or not, the life always drives us to go forward, because reality is before us. As a result, I had to go with the flow. With these two months experience, I learn and get much from the detour . Detour is a chance to for the better. When I haven’t enough ability to reach my destination, detours will make up for my deficiencies.
Lance , thank you , now I am with refreshment .

Reply

Liara Covert September 5, 2009 at 8:08 am

Some people sense ‘detours’ do not exist . This term nurtures the perception that you are not where you are meant to be at a given moment. In truth, you always are in the right place. How you choose to view your conditions determines your feelings and whether you see advantages or disadvantages to where you are. To be grateful for everything every moment eliminates the traditional understanding of detour. You are where Higher Self knows you are learning valuabel lessons.
.-= Liara Covert´s Last Fabulous Post ..Dawn Hill & Interview on perception shifts =-.

Reply

Ian | Quantum Learning September 6, 2009 at 3:28 am

The thing about detours is that they take you to places you wouldn’t have gone without them. And sometimes those detours turn out to be better than the original path and so you switch onto them.
.-= Ian | Quantum Learning´s Last Fabulous Post ..6 Ways to cultivate confidence =-.

Reply

Colleen September 6, 2009 at 10:01 am

“…we looked at life detours through a different lens…”
Our thought life is certainly key to what we think of ourselves, the goals we accomplish, and our general outlook on life.
.-= Colleen´s Last Fabulous Post ..Kennewick Real Estate Listings =-.

Reply

Jodi at Joy Discovered September 6, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Hi Lance!
I’m not sure how I missed this post–it’s wonderful, really wonderful! I have to say, I’m pretty good at embracing the big detours in life. I consider myself pretty resiliant, and I try to be strong for others, too. I definitely have better clarity under pressure. For me, it’s the small day to day obstacles that get me. Case in point, I’m referring to small incidents as “obstacles”. I’ll get better. I’m workin’ on it. It’s a process…! 🙂 Great thinking here. I love your perspective on the whole subject!
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s Last Fabulous Post ..Off the Shelf: 365 Tao~Work =-.

Reply

Lance September 6, 2009 at 9:42 pm

@CG Walters – Thanks much, CG – and it’s great to see you here!

@Jannie – That Hermann…but hey, if he cooks and roofs…how can you go wrong, really!

@Lotus – Lotus, it’s great to have you here! And thanks so much for sharing your own personal story. I think it’s part of the whole learning process for all of us, how we can work through these detours life gives us. And sometimes we learn by trying and then realizing the detours have much on them for us as well.

@Liara – Where we’re meant to be…good way to look at this Liara. Whether we see it as a detour off our “planned” path, or just see it as what’s meant to be – when we really embrace this idea that we’re in the right place for us, then we are open to really what can be possible for us.

@Ian – That’s it! Detours can be such great places to go…and we just might not recognize that normally because we’re so used to traveling the path we’re on – and don’t fully realize that there’s much beyond.

@Colleen – “Thought life”…such a great point, Colleen. Our thoughts lead into our actions…lead into our life. So good to think about. Thanks much!

@Jodi – Hi Jodi. Thank you, so much, for your affirming words! The big vs. little. Maybe it’s something about the bigger detours that can sometimes get us really revved up for what might be – like a big road trip across teh country, and a detour that takes us into some unknown. Sounds exciting and adventurous. The small detours, like a detour on the way to the grocery store – not so adventurous. And such is life. And so maybe that’s what makes big easier than little. Anyway, Jodi, so good to hear your honesty here. And I know you’ll do well with all of it…

Reply

Lauren August 7, 2010 at 10:55 am

I feel like I’ve been here before, but maybe it’s just that the content resonates so much that it feels familiar. I googled “embrace the detour” (the name of my blog) and found this post. I just love it. It’s exactly the themes I explore on my blog – the idea that a detour can be more glorious and fulfilling and life-affirming than the straight path. The things that knock us off course are often the things that take us where we wanted to go in the first place. Anyway, just wanted to say, great post!

Reply

Lance August 8, 2010 at 5:38 am

Lauren,
It’s great to “meet” you! And, I can’t wait to check out your site, as you can see – this is something I very much find meaning in, too. Those detours….they really can be some of life’s great moments for us…if we allow them to be.

Thank YOU!!!

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

You will receive an email with any replies to your comment. Check this box only if you want to be notified of ALL follow-up comments. You can also subscribe without commenting.

{ 6 trackbacks }

Previous post:

Next post: