Do We Really Need to Buy Each Other More Stuff?

by Jayson Gaddis on · 19 comments

Maybe there's another way…

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Jayson Gaddis, MA, LPC, CGT is a relationship psychotherapist devoted to helping people awaken through relationship and intimacy. He's calling in a new paradigm of connection, deep relationship, and family. Jayson is a husband and part-time stay-at-home Dad getting schooled by his two kids.
Jayson Gaddis
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Justin | Personal Growth November 25, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Hey Jayson,
I like to give “thoughtless” gift cards to my friends that have children. This way they can pick out what their kids want and need. As far as adults go, I give them gift cards to their favorite restaurants.

I agree that we don’t need more material crap in our lives.
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Justin, I like that. thanks!
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Jean Burman November 25, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Hi Jayson

I really liked your video! It’s so cool to see a person’s face and hear what they have to say… and video gets this message across even better than the written word [especially when it’s done well] So thank you for that 🙂

Your message of giving love instead of crap is a good one. But stuff doesn’t always have to be crap. I value the things people give me… especially the things my kids made for me when they were little… and have long since forgotten about. But I haven’t forgotten and the memory of their childhood lives on in those little things they gave. And my mom as well now she’s no longer here. The giving of heartfelt gifts meant the world to me then… and still does. It’s just the heartfelt thing that can’t be missing in the giving of stuff [grin] Could be just me tho ;-/

Thanks again for raising the issue in such a thoughtful way.
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Jean, Great point. nothing beats a homemade toy or gift.
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Evita November 26, 2011 at 7:45 am

Jayson this is an outstanding message that I personally resonate with and second wholeheartedly. Consumerism, buying and fulfilling expectations and obligations (illusory ones at that) is so not appealing to more and more of us as we live more awakened, meaningful and authentic lives.
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Yes! brilliantly said!
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Jacqueline November 26, 2011 at 8:23 am

Thanks Lance and Jayson for sharing this message. We all have so much “stuff” in our lives we really don’t need and as a new Mother of my 2nd child I see how easy it is for our children to get stuck in the world of “more” and not ever enough. My son was wasting something as simple as food yesterday (he wanted to play a mixing age with it rather than eating it) at the age of 4 and I needed to express to him that there were so many children that didn’t even have food let alone all the benefits he has in his life. He looked at me and ask if there were really children that went without supper every day and I was very clear that there were thousands everyday that sgo hungry. Whether he understood it or not it is the beginning of my lesson to him that we don’t need to waste anything in our world and that what we have is not the norm for most people. I only buy my son 2nd hand toys and we shop together at these stores so he understands the value of reusing and money. We make cards from his art as gifts rather than buying more stuff for our family and over the holidays we make a donation in honour of our family rather then spending the money on more stuff no one needs. I encourage everyone to rethink the holiday season as a time of giving to those that have nothing rather than giving more to those that have it all. Thank you again for sharing such an important message that everyone needs to consider.
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:38 pm


Awesome. I will do the same for my kids. I do have to be careful however, of not perpetuating the notion of “scarcity” which could be a counterargument here. I buy at thrift stores and trade goods and toys, not because we live in fear and are watching our budget (although that is in there), but because I’m teaching them we don’t need “more” and “new.” in order to enjoy life.
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Howie November 26, 2011 at 10:52 am

Hi Jayson great video – with Black Friday trying to sell, sell …. it is about time to take a more realistic approach. Are we blinded by price?

I agree I shall be sending cards to my real friends and family.
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Thanks Howie. what do you mean are we blinded by price? meaning we get sucked into sales and think we have to buy when it’s cheaper?
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Howie November 28, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Yes, exactly.
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KenWert@MeanttobeHappy November 26, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Hey Jayson,

My favorite Christmas to date was a year we didn’t buy gifts. Instead everyone who wanted pitched in some cash and we rented a huge cabin in some local mountains and played int he snow and ate good food and spent lots of quality time with friends and family.

My second favorite Christmas was a year we didn’t buy gifts again (except for the young kids in the family). Instead, we made Christmas Tree ornaments for each other. We got to get creative and kept it meaningful as well. We still have and use those ornaments to this day. One of them was made with pedals from my grandmother’s funeral. Talking about meaning!

Still, I do think it’s important to be sure our “gift” to others is not only meaningful to us, but is meaningful to those we’re giving it to as well.

Thanks for the great message, Jayson!
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:40 pm

nice, thanks Ken for sharing even more creative ways to give and receive!


John Sherry November 27, 2011 at 4:51 am

Great question and ethic Jayson, you’ve lit up my day! Boy does this consumer driven world sometimes give me despair these days – can’t people see that the whole money rush to have more and buy more has led us into the very financial precipice we’re now hovering on? What does a new cell phone or TV do for your life that love, good health, and mental peace does not? Last Xmas me and my friends did a no present Yuletide in favour of a friends together event with music and fun and smiles – it was the best ever. I’ll always remember this while I can’t remember any of the presents I was given for the last 10 years. Says it all – WE are the presents!
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Jayson November 27, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Ha ha. Love it John!


Betsy at Zen Mama November 28, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Love this idea Jayson! We do this all year. We also re-gift and do 2nd hand shopping for everyone. The kind of gifts we love to do for Christmas are experiences now, like help with a ski pass, restaurant gift cert. or a grocery coupon for my kids. And I think the favorite gift of my three teenage boys is socks!
Great food for thought!!
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Fabrizio November 29, 2011 at 10:32 am

Jayson, great message. I agree with what you say. It’s almost as if gifts are more important than human relations.
I watched a few movies lately that contained a similar message. You can click on the link to read about them in my blog:


Vernon December 1, 2011 at 7:49 am

This is really a good message jayson. You know what here in our family we just exchange gift with our relative but those gift are not to expensive enough. We gift a 2nd hand stuff and also 75% off in the the shopping store.
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