Here’s what I know about love.

Unexpressed, love is:

a painting unrealized,

a gift not given,

a talent not shared,

a song unsung,

a good idea, that no one will ever know.

Yes. It may exist, but until it’s been shared, it’s merely the lonely tree falling in the forest. Irrelevant whether it makes a sound or not.

Expressing love is risky. There can be no doubt.

The painting may not be admired. The gift may not quite fit. The talent may not be appreciated. The song may not resonate. The good idea may “good” but “not for right now”.

Painful, to be sure.

But once you BELIEVE in the value of the whisperings of you heart?

Magic ignited.

Once you believe your painting is the answer; the gift is transformative; the talent will heal souls; the song will endure in hearts forever; the idea IS the change, then you’ll shout it from the highest mountains, right? Loud and righteously proud.

What will it take for you to believe your love into expression with wild abandon?

by Tanya Geisler

Love is beautiful. Love is essential for electrifying health. Love is essential for life. Without the act of making love, life does not exist. This is beautiful, don’t you think?

The following is a list of ten love tips that will allow you to live your life with electrifying health. You want to live as long as possible, right? More importantly, you want to feel alive during your time on beautiful Earth and not suffer from any disease or cancer. This is certainly possible and the following tips will help.

1) Love yourself. You are the most important thing in your life. If you don’t take care of yourself then how are you going to help others?

2) Love others. My sister just got married in Key West. The love she shares with her husband is infectious. If you are deeply in love then you will make sure your lover is in grand health. You will make sure you are in grand health as well. You want to be with this person for as long as possible.

3) Make love. Yes, that means have sex. Sex with someone you love. Sex is physical activity. It gets your blood flowing. It’s fun. It’s play. And, of course, it creates life. Making love with someone you love is one of the world’s greatest de-stressors in the world. Excessive stress is one of many players in disease and cancer. You want to avoid both, right? Find a lover and make love with him or her!

4) Love to cook and/or prepare food. Unless you live with a professional chef, make cooking a hobby. If you hate to cook or prepare delicious raw food such as a smoothie then you are more bound to buy packaged junk food at the grocer or to pass through a drive thru. If cooking becomes a hobby, something you love engaging in, then your health will improve. Home cooked meals are almost always better than packaged crap at your local grocer. Start with cooking meat and veggies with lots of spices and herbs and then go from there.

5) Love nature. Where do you spend the majority of your time? If you work, eat, relax and get entertained indoors then you are probably nature deficient. Get outside. I don’t care how cold or hot it is. I hate the cold but I still feel outrageously relieved when I step foot outside in the heart of the Winter. It’s difficult to explain the incredible phenomenon behind the healing properties of nature. If you are constantly inside and stressed then it’s time you spend more time outdoors. Go for a short walk. Take a long hike. Play a sport. Go to the beach. Ski or snowboard. Don’t be afraid of the sun. Vitamin D3, aka the Sunshine Vitamin, is essential to all life. A burn is too much but a tan is perfect and protects you from damage. Maybe you need a non human companion to join you on your walk?

6) Love your pet. We own a lovely Boston Terrier. I’m deeply in love. I LOVE taking him for walks. The longer the better. If I never looked forward to putting the leash on him and stepping outside then I would feel stressed every time I had to do this “chore.” This would probably lead to bad habits that could lead to poor health.

7) Love movement. Any form of movement is better than no movement at all unless you are completely exhausted or have a strong desire to relax. Every single time I decide to lift my butt off the chair and do a few push-ups, pull-ups, squats, lunges, leg swings, hip extensions, arm circles, etc. I feel alive. My confidence soars. Just a few minutes of this many times throughout the day can do wonders for many folks. Love the movement you are engaging in and feel your health improve in an instant.

8 ) Love sleep. Sleep is important. If we all know this is true, then why do we fail to place an importance on it? We instead watch hours of TV on a daily basis. Ditch the television. You think you love watching the screen when in reality you don’t. You love being outdoors. You love to play. You love to sleep. Love it more. Understand that it is vital to your health and be grateful every time you place your head on your pillow and pull the covers over your body. Love the energy you gain from sleep.

9) Love to smile. Are you feeling stressed out? Smile. Try to laugh a little. How are you feeling now? If you actually completed this small task then you should have felt alive for at least that brief moment. The simple act of smiling is one of the simplest, yet one of the most powerful and contagious actions you can take to improve your health. A fake smile won’t work unless a real laugh follows. But if you make smiling a habit then it will all of a sudden happen automatically. You will find yourself laughing more. Your happiness, and thus health, will increase at a rapid rate. It may take some practice but it’s worth it. It’s so simple folks. Just smile!

10) It’s your turn. Leave a comment below with at least one tip that deals with health and love. What do you love that improves your health? Maybe its giving a hug, playing a sport, meditating or engaging in yoga. Whatever it is, share. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.

by Todd Dosenberry

When I tell people that I write about money, some respond by crinkling their nose and saying, “Money? But that’s not what matters in life!”

And then — more often than not — they’ll repeat that famous phrase, “money is the root of all evil.”

Well, that’s not exactly how the saying goes. Although that phrase is ingrained in mainstream pop culture today, it takes its roots in a Biblical verse that reads: “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil.”

Since this month’s Jungle of Life theme is love, let’s take a second to explore the love of money.

What Do You Love?

If I asked you to make a list of things you love, what would you write?

Family, friends and pets come to mind immediately, of course. Then people start listing objects and activities.

“I love ice cream,” — an object.

“I love to swim,” — an activity.

“I love that cozy sweatshirt I’ve had since high school,” — an object.

“I love to paint,” — an activity.

No one thinks its wrong to love an object or an activity — unless that object is “money” or that activity is “making money.”

When people tell me that money is the root of all evil, I reply that money is simply an inanimate object, like a coffee mug or a garden hose. It has no innate good or evil. That quality comes from the meaning we assign to it.

According to the “root of all evil” expression, money itself is fine. Loving money is not. But why?

It’s okay to love ice cream, cozy sweatshirts, warm socks, Van Gogh paintings and the orange tea kettle that your sister gave you six years ago. Why is money singled out as the one object that it’s not okay to love?

I picked those examples for a reason. I’m betting no one objects to loving “ice cream and warm socks,” but some people would object to loving sports cars, glitzy mansions and emerald necklaces. Why? Because those objects remind people of money.

This is usually the point where someone says, “Hold on. A mega-mansion uses tons of environmental resources.”

True. But so does ice cream production, from the methane-emitting cows to the cost of maintaining a sub-zero freezer truck.

The tea kettle you use to drink Jasmine Green Tea required someone to build a factory, produce a kettle mold, inspect the kettle, package it, deliver it, market it, account for its revenue and loss, and legally protect it.

Everything uses resources and costs money. Why pretend that it doesn’t?

I believe that “love of money is the root of all evil” is only half the story. I believe that phrase is talking about a blind, jealous, possessive love. The phrase “love of money” is referring to the type of co-dependent love that causes the two partners to become lesser, instead of more whole.

But I do think we owe it to ourselves to create a healthy love for money.

Here’s a radical idea: Why not “love” money by being a good steward over it? Nurture and protect your money, in the same the way you might nurture and protect your garden.

Steer clear of possessive, co-dependent love, the kind that causes you to stagnate. Move towards a wholesome love in which both you and your money are able to grow freely.

Money, after all, is a tool that can buy acres of rainforest, send your nephew to college without student loans, and pay for the veterinary appointments that your puppy needs. It’s okay to love money for the life it gives you.

by Paula Pant

Valentine’s Day is the holiday of love. Well, at least according to Hallmark. The stores are saturated in pink and red, the calendar has that pesky little fine print next to the fourteenth day of February, and the pressure is huge to commemorate the big day with your sweetheart. That often means roses, chocolate, a dinner out…zzzzzz…oh, sorry, I drifted off there for a second. Valentine’s Day may be one of those obligatory holidays, but it’s never a bad thing to show someone how much you care, and it needn’t be boring. Your honey deserves more than ho-hum! And the fun ideas that follow won’t break the bank, either.

1) Fill your sweetheart’s car or office or closet with balloons. Lots and lots of balloons.

2) Somewhere between a massage and a tickle is what I like to call “back skating.” It’s like having your fingers ice skate across the back of your partner. Take turns drawing simple pictures or spelling out words and see if they can guess the message.

3) Write a love message in soap on the bathroom mirror. Dry erase markers also work beautifully (and wipe off easily) on glass. Don’t forget about adding lots of hearts. Or a funny mustache.

4) Get a box of those cheap kiddie valentines and hide them everywhere: in the car, under the pillow, in the lunch bag. Or make one grand gesture by filing the sink or a briefcase!

5) Make breakfast in bed. But make it fun! Fashion a face out of the fried eggs and bacon. Or make heart-shaped pancakes, topped with sprinkles or candy hearts. (And don’t forget to use the good china.)

6) If you’re in the car together, kiss at every stoplight, or anytime you see a red sports car.

7) Slow dance to “your song” in the living room. Clothes are optional

8 ) Meet your honey for lunch with Happy Meals in hand.

9) If you live in a colder climate, write a love note in the snow. You could use snowballs, your footprints, or a spray bottle filled with colored water. Hooray for food coloring!

10) Replace the Cheerios with candy conversation hearts.

11) Get your sweetheart a gift inspired by their favorite childhood toy. It could be a t-shirt, cufflinks, a poster, or the toy itself, purchased on ebay.

12) Get a roll of cookie dough, but instead of baking a dozen cookies, use it to make one BIG one!

13) Rent and watch a classic love story from childhood. Something like Princess Bride, Beauty and the Beast, Lady & The Tramp, or one of my favorites, Karate Kid 2. (Fun trivia: Glory of Love by Peter Cetera was the first song Kim and I danced to as husband and wife.)

14) Make a pizza together — including the dough! (There’s something romantic about being covered in flour.) Arrange pepperoni in the shape of a heart and have a picnic in your living room.

What is your favorite FUN and THRIFTY way to say “I love you?”

by Jason Kotecki

In an issue of Oprah magazine Jerry Seinfeld talks about marriage. He says that one of his ground rules in an argument with his wife is that they both have to stay in the room until they work their differences out.

“In fact,” he continues, “I said this to my wife the other day: ‘I understand that you’re so upset that you just want to walk away. But, you know, I don’t care that it’s hard. You stay in the room until you feel better. Then you can leave.’ ”

I couldn’t disagree more. When I feel things getting heated I suggest that my husband and I both leave the room and take a break. It always helps. I used to stay and try to work things out, thinking that if we loved each other we should be able to work it out quickly and feel better sooner.

But the situation got worse more often than it got better, and resentments lingered longer. Then I learned a few things, and I realized that leaving has a lot going for it.

I believe there are two reasons that walking out (of an argument) is a good idea. One is the pain body, as described by Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth. The other is the 90-second rule, as described by Jill Bolte Taylor.

I don’t know why the pain body, like some alien from another planet, chooses to inhabit our psyches and make us miserable, but I do know that once it takes over, research suggests that it will invade everyone else in the room as well. (Ask me in the comments if you want to see the studies.)

I can generally tell when my I’ve been “snatched” by the pain body, and I can literally feel it feasting on the negative energy in the room. If I don’t get out quickly I know that it will settle in for a grand buffet. The only successful means I have found for starving it is to leave the room. My husband now understands and supports this tactic too.

I learned about the 90-second rule when I read Jill Bolte Taylor’s memoir My Stroke of Insight. Taylor is a brain scientist who had a stroke when she was 37 years old. She received significant damage to her left hemisphere, the part of our brain that is responsible for organizing information and language, remembering the past, and projecting into the future. (The right brain is all about being right here, right now and feeling joyful in the present moment.)

Fortunately she recovered and documented her experience in her fascinating memoir. My Stroke of Insight. She provides us with a scientific understanding of why it’s always a good idea to take a break in a heated situation.

Something happens in the external world and all of a sudden we experience a physiological response by our body that our mind would define as fear.

So in my brain some circuit is saying something isn’t safe and I need to go on full alert, those chemicals flush through my body to put my body on full alert, and for that to totally flush out of my body, it takes less than 90 seconds . (emphasis mine)

So, if it’s my fear circuitry or my anger circuitry [that’s being triggered], the 90-second rule is totally empowering. That means for 90 seconds, I can watch this happen, I can feel this happen, and I can watch it go away.

When you are in an argument with someone you are usually choosing to stay stuck in your anger or fear. You’re choosing it by continuing to think the same thoughts that created it, thus re-triggering it.

Maybe the Dalai Lama or Eckhart Tolle can choose to think different, peaceful or loving thoughts when they have recently felt hurt or angry, but I’ve yet to meet a mere mortal with this ability.

I’ve learned that my ability to choose a better-feeling, more peaceful or loving thought always depends on getting away from the scene of the argument. Once I’m away I usually embark on some heart-thumping cardio or take a walk outside and look up a lot.

Only then do I start to feel the negative hormones flush from my system. And then I can look at my husband’s side and better understand his needs and how to meet them. I write about it often, but it bears repeating that all of our underlying needs are really the same: We all want to be seen, heard, and loved for exactly who we are — warts and all.

When I am in a peaceful, centered place I want for all of us to get our needs met. The reason that my marriage has enjoyed such wonderful longevity (19 years this March!) is that my husband wants that too.

by Stacey Curnow

I am giving a speech in a few days at the TEDx event at the University of Florida and they have asked me to talk about “The MOST Important Thing I Have Ever Learned.” I plan to share three key ideas with the 1,600 or so attendees…

1. You become what you focus on and like the people you surround yourself with. Whatever you fill your mind with — whatever you watch, read, listen to, and think about… and who you choose to spend your time with, will pretty much determine what your life will look like a decade from now!

2. Ask For HELP.  It is NOT weak to admit that you are in over your head, that you are confused, that you do not what to do… that you need some help. It takes a great deal of courage to finally face that fact that you cannot do it all alone. But here is the neat thing… once you learn to ask for help your life will get much easier and more enjoyable because people who love and respect you will willingly offer you all of the help they can give — and that is a beautiful thing my friend, a beautiful thing indeed.

3. The ONLY measure that counts in life is how much love you can give, create and receive. The amazing thing is that you can give and give and give love… and you will have even more love left to give away the very next day.  You have an endless supply… and you always will. Is that cool or what? And lest you think that receiving love is selfish, sometimes the greatest way to show love is to allow others to give their love to you. That is really cool too!

So I leave you with my favorite passages on love from “The Prophet” by the amazing Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

by John Spence

Love keeps us together, right? But what happens when our society portrays love through perfection, wealth, lust, and greed? What do we teach our children about love? With a skewed definition in place, it is even more important to share with our family the true meaning of love: which encompasses hope, positive behavior, strength and giving unconditionally.

Sometimes to achieve the positive effects of an emotion, we must let go of other emotions that are taking up too much energy. So to let Love in, We must let other emotions OUT. This means getting rid of anger, guilt, resentment, and judgment.

L= Let Go of negative destructive emotions

1. Raise awareness of when you are putting yourself or others down

a. Carry a notebook for a day, and write down when a negative thought comes in

b. Carry a golf clicker and keep track

2. Notice where you are feeling these emotions in your body: your chest, shoulders, neck, stomach? Where do they seem to concentrate the most?

3. Breath….as you exhale, practice seeing those thoughts dissipate into thin air, as you inhale, practice replacing those emotions with a positive one, such as joy, happiness, love, life, forgiveness.

When we hold on to destructive emotions, we hold ourselves back from the many benefits of love. Let go of negative and destructive emotions. Let LOVE in.

O=Open your heart to new possibilities

1. Start with HOPE and let go of JUDGEMENT

One can be hopeful or judgmental, but you cannot be both at the same time!

2. Act like a kid. Kids don’t think too much about going into new situations, they just go with the flow, open to any outcome because they don’t have any preconceived ideas about how it is “supposed” to flow. Next time you enter a new situation, try to clear your mind and let whatever happens unfold without placing any undue expectation on the event. See what happens.

3. Recognize that opening up can be painful but also healing. Healing takes TIME

Open your heart to new possibilities. Let LOVE in.

V=Visualize

Healing just isn’t going to happen without love. See yourself being loved. Take note of every source where you feel yourself being loved. See yourself being worthy of triple the love you currently feel.

There is almost always more love for us to encounter than we can ever imagine. Visualize love. Let LOVE in.

E=Educate yourself on Emotional Intelligence!

Emotional intelligence represents an ability to validly reason with emotions and to use emotions to enhance thought. We are not used to this in our society. Most of us were taught to suppress emotions at a young age, but educating yourself on how emotional intelligence can help you gain clarity and enhance emotions such as love.

EI has potential to bring in more love and meaning into our daily interactions at work, family, and in our community.

Educate yourself on Emotional Intelligence. Let LOVE in.

Love, the right kind of love, will not only bring us together. It will, indeed, keep us together. Let LOVE in.

by Jen Slayden

photo credit: HimynameisEuan

“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~ Gary Zukav

Soft music. Dimmed lights. Candle-lit.

A service of healing, for all who want it. Deeply. And for whatever healing that might mean.

The time: nearly two years ago.

This was the third such service like this I had been a part of. This one, though – different. Different, as I would be in the role of “healer”…listening to people’s petitions, needs, wants, desires. And then – lift those up to a Higher Source.

Is there training for this position? Does a “healer” have to know anything special, do anything special? Did I really know at all what to do?

Perhaps the training had been on the job training from the first two sessions. Two sessions where I was fully involved, except not in this role of “healer”.

So…I listened.

…I listened with my heart…

Perhaps this deeper listening is most important. Perhaps really hearing what another soul is saying…not just the spoken words, words from deep within. Words spoken with the eyes. Words spoken from the heart. Words spoken with tears, words spoken with a smile. Words that are real.

It was a sacred experience.

It was not about knowing what the right things were to say or do. It was not about being some sort of expert on any of this.

It was all about being fully in that moment…listening, caring.

Being love.

And then … being open to the words that came from my soul.

Love, in action.  Love, without jugdgement.  Love, and love alone.

What a truly moving experience. A complete focus on that moment, that soul, there with me. Our spirits locked together by human touch. A gift from the Divine.

Maybe it all seems a bit “out there”. Touch-feely. It’s not like any of this offers any physical healing, any noticeable healing.

Healing of the soul.

Disease. Pain. Strained relations. Family challenges. Suffered friendships. Lost jobs. Financial difficulties. Death.

The stuff that seems big.

Courage. Show love. Embrace the moments. Wisdom. Fears. Loneliness.

The stuff that’s harder to fully quantify.  The stuff that doesn’t have to be quantified…just heard…

Where are you at on this? Is there healing that you could use?

I have done this three times, this service of healing. Each time I’m moved to not only play an active role in the healing process, even more than that – to be on the receiving end of this healing gift

To have hands placed on me. To share openly. And then to allow the healing process to begin anew, through that healing touch of another.

Perhaps we can all use a some healing in our lives.

Wherever we are in our life. Whatever we are doing. Perhaps it’s something very specific. Or maybe something more general. When we are open to going deeper within ourselves, to seeing this bigger need for healing, always…

LOVE, in action.

Does anything really change? Am I really any different because I’ve been “healed”? Or does this just seem like some “feel good” moment, only to be quickly forgotten once I’ve left this sacred place?

I can only speak from my personal experience. And in that…I believe deeply that there truly is a healing taking place. I am changed. Maybe it doesn’t cure some disease overnight. Or mend a broken relationship the next day. Or give me that boost of courage I need to stand up for something I believe later that evening. Perhaps it’s much deeper than any of this. Perhaps that healing starts at a soul level. And in that, we experience a deeper wholeness with ourselves

And that, I believe, is love.

May each of you find a deep sense of peace within…and know that love is…

…love is the movement…

by Lance Ekum

photo credit: spacepleb

“The sun’s energy warms the world. But when you focus it through a magnifying glass, it can start a fire. Focus is powerful.” ~ Alan Pariser

~ Comments Closed ~

Casey Slide is a mother, wife, Christian, and engineer living in the Atlanta area. In addition to juggling many passions in her life, she shares her tips and insights for lifestyle and financial topics on the Money Crashers personal finance blog.

Like many people, I can never seem to find enough time to do everything that I need and want to do. With only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, there is no way to squeeze it all into my life.

On a daily basis, I find myself struggling as to what aspect of my life I should focus my attention: preparing healthy foods, educating my son, learning how to save money and make money, enriching my prayer life, exercising, spending time with friends and family, and practicing my various hobbies. All of these are important, but by attempting to focus on all of them, I spread myself too thin.

So how do you determine what to focus on in life? To find an answer, you must first answer a series of other questions.

Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Am I Experiencing Anything That Is Life-threatening?

Obviously, if you are in immediate danger, you’ll be attending to that issue, but this question goes much deeper than that. Is there anything that is going on in your life that is going to harm you if you don’t deal with it? For example, do you have a serious medical condition that requires attention?

Consider your eating and exercising habits, as well as your mental and overall health by going to your physician for a preventative care check-up. Your doctor will be able to tell you if  you are at risk for any potential health problems and what you should focus on now to prevent them. If your doctor tells you that you are overweight and have high blood pressure and cholesterol making you at risk for heart disease and diabetes, you need to focus on making lifestyle changes now in order prevent these life-threatening conditions.

2. Are My Relationships Strained?

You may be experiencing various forms of stress in your life, but if you do not have someone whom you trust and who you know will stand by your side, you will be a lot less capable to take on the challenges of daily life. As communal beings we need each other for moral and physical support. Without a support system, we often become unmotivated and depressed.

If you find yourself saying “yes” to this question, aim your focus at repairing tense or broken relationships, especially with your spouse. This can be particularly uncomfortable if you are dealing with financial infidelity in your marriage, but be the bigger person by making the first move.

3. Are My Finances Suffering?

Once you know you are physically healthy and that your relationships are healthy, ask yourself if your finances are healthy. You can do this by examining the following:

• Do you have a budget you follow?
• Does your income exceed your expenses?
• Are you saving for retirement?
• Are you debt-free?

If you answered “yes” to these questions, fantastic. If not, then it’s time to get to work on a personal budget. You may also want to consider ways to make extra money in order to pay down debt, build up your savings, or prepare and plan for retirement.

Once you have a handle on your finances, you can then switch your focus to thriving financially. Perhaps you may even want to start thinking about how to become a millionaire!

4. Is There Something I Could Learn That Would Enrich My Life?

I love to learn new things, and there is often so much on my “to-learn” list that I don’t know where to start. So not only is there a question of if I should focus on learning something, there is also the question of what I should focus on learning.

The best way to approach this is to first consider learning about anything that will enrich your quality of life. Perhaps you can learn something to help you save money, such as couponing, cooking more nutritious foods, or starting your own vegetable garden.

Also consider learning things that could enrich your spiritual or prayer life; this will bring you peace and may even be another way to discern where to direct your focus.

5. Where Do I Want to Be in Five Years?

Really, the question is, what do you want to do with your life? Is there a new career that you would like to pursue? If the profession requires schooling, training, or experience, you will need to devote some of your focus to getting that process started.

Is there a goal that you would like to reach? One of my goals is to run a full marathon at some point in my life. When the time is right for me to achieve that goal, I’ll need to make the training my focus.

6. What Are My Passions?

We only live one life, so don’t waste your time on things that do not matter to you. Does it really matter that you watch that TV show? Do you really need to spend an hour on Facebook checking the statuses of your former high school friends?

No, you don’t. You need to get up, get out, and start living. Figure out what really matters to you and make those things your focus. Don’t waste your time and energy on things that you will regret.

Final Thoughts

It can be overwhelming to think about all the ways you can spend living your life, but the key is to focus on the most important things while letting the rest fall into place.

Once you have a handle on areas of your life, such as your health, your relationships, and your finances, expand your focus to include goals and passions. Don’t overwhelm yourself by taking on too much, and know that each potential focus has its time and place.

What are you focusing on in your life?

I’m going to be honest. December is historically my slowest month in terms of client sessions. (That’s honest, yes, but that’s not my confession). So, to make good use of the space created in that time, I had fabulous intentions to map out 2012 in a truly powerful way during the month. Well, I did set some excellent goals, shared them with the world (or at least, my corner of the world), then…oof. (Annnnnnd, here’s the confession). Instead of strategizing and scheming, I baked and decorated. I shopped and sang. I cooked and visited. I hosted and wrapped. And it was bliss.

Regrets = 0. Memories = ~ 1,000.

I’m rested, recharged, and raring to go in my business. It’s already been a wildly fruitful couple of weeks.

So as I have been refocusing, it’s not surprising that my entrepreneur clients are wanting the same. Over the past couple of weeks, they’ve been coming to session saying: I want to focus on focus.

YA BABY! Let’s get started! Let’s get specific! Let’s clamp down!

Ah…but wait.

The paradox of focus, is that to be focused, we need step way, WAYYYYY back and take a meta-view of who we are and where we are going.

Who are you?

Who are you in this world? Your values will tell you. They are the bricks in the glorious and utterly unique house of you.

Knowing what your values are will help you to make soulful decisions for your business. {And soulful decisions generally translate to cash.}

I’ve written before about some values clarification tools that will help. Also notice who you admire and why. What do they stand for? Likely rooted in there are some of your values.

Once you’ve gained on your values, start to notice what might be missing for you right now.

Lean into the values that aren’t being honoured in your business. Notice how exciting that feels. Pretty hard to not focus on something that feels exciting, non?

Where are you going?

If you don’t know where you are heading, then you don’t know which way to go.

This ain’t rocket science (and yet…)

Get clear on your vision . What do you want for your business? What feelings do you want to experience? What is your dream for your business? Get as granular as you like (say, a vision for your products or services, your employee relations, your community contribution, etc). Whatever works for you.

Create a vision statement, a vision board, a manifesto…SOMETHING to keep your vision top of mind.

Now your action is intentional and keeps you pointed in the right direction.

So we’re fired up, we have our vision. It’s completely aligned with our values and we know where we’re going. We are stoked and ready to try it all! So many shiny things…where to start?!!

VROOM VROOM

Action and motivation are like two buddies egging each other on at a frat house kegger. Being in action is motivating and this motivation stimulates the urge for action. We surf this powerful momentum and pile on the action because it’s all so tasty: new opportunities, new partners, new projects, oh my!

And THEN?????

OOPS happens

Like another 4-letter word, it is messy stuff. OOPS = over-operational planning syndrome.

Our momentum takes a nosedive. Action and motivation part ways to down some aspirin and snore off the effects of the kegger.

Call it the Dastardly Dip, call it what you will.

As a coach, my role is to be aware of that effect and help my clients to trim the wings before the nosedive.

Here’s how.

Yes’s and No’s

Making room for your vision to flourish, you probably need to start saying “no”. Most of us do. So you can say “yes” to the brightest possible version of your life and business.

Elegant in its simplicity. (And yet…)

You may choose to get rid of the ugly chair, to make space for the stunning one you’ve always wanted. Is that a partner? A product? A supplier?

You may need to say “no” to some customers. If you find that you are not giving the best of yourself, get curious about why. And know that your industry is too small for you to not be giving the best of yourself. It may well be them, or it may be you, but if there’s not a fit, the outcomes will be dire. That = bad business.

Lovingly and supportively release them into the arms of a colleague who may be better suited to them. And spend that found energy on finding your RIGHT people, and having them find you. Motivation restored. Back to action. But what actions?

Decision-making Matrix

A while back, I was in a program with Pam Slim and Chris Guillebeau. I was introduced to another elegantly simple exercise. I’ve adapted it to suit my business and share (with permission) with my clients. Feel free to email me for a copy.

Draw a table. 6 columns by 6 rows. In the left hand column, list the projects that are sitting on your chest that may or may not want to get started. (Only consider projects that are in alignment with your values…but you knew that already, didn’t you?)

Fill the next 5 columns with filters that work for you. I use Vision (how aligned with my vision is this project…see why vision is critical?) + Interest (how excited am I to tackle this project?) + Profitability (how much cash will it bring in?) — Effort (how much time and energy will it take?) = Grand Total. Swap/add filters as you like (Reach may be more important to you than Profitability).

Subjectively rate each project on a scale of 1–5 (5 being highest). This simple exercise is intended to get you clearer on what wants to happen in your business soonest. If you need to cut a project or two, pick the lowest. If you can only take on one right now, pick the highest. The rest can be put on a shelf with no remorse…you get to revisit them when the time’s right. So that “no” can become a “not right now”.

Buddy up

Holding a vision as big of yours is pretty weighty stuff. Who else can help you to hold it? A coach? Mastermind group? Accountability partner? Advisory Board? Assess your support network and consider how having someone else help you hold your vision will keep you on track.

You are one lean, mean, focused machine.

Vroom vroom, indeed.

by Tanya Geisler

photo credit: NatalieMaynor

You want to be healthy. You want leanness. You want to feel awesome as much as possible. You want perfect digestion if possible. You want to avoid sickness. You want to be disease and cancer free.

You can have it all. The most important step is feeding your body what it desires.

How do you do this?

Buy food at a farmers market.

Here is what you may find in abundance:

• Fresh veggies
• Fresh fruit
• Pastured eggs
• Grass-fed meat (including the nutrient dense organ meats like liver!)
• Fish/seafood
• Nuts and seeds
• Extra virgin/cold pressed Olive Oil

Local food. Sustainable food. Perhaps certified organic food. Food that nourishes you. Food that will prevent sickneess, disease and cancer. Food that will make you come alive.

Food that will make you healthy.

You will meet farmers and will be able to learn exactly how your food is grown and raised. You will build relationships with the farmers you buy from.

You will NOT find crap. You will NOT find CAFO meat. You will NOT find colorful boxes.

Begin to focus your grocery shopping efforts at your local farmers market starting NOW!

Then thank me later.

You need to begin feeding your body whole food if you want vibrant health. You will find this at the farmers market. Sure, you can buy whole, real food at your standard grocery store. But, most of the “food” that is available is crap unless you are shopping at a place like Whole Foods. Farmers markets are not perfect either but it is by far the best place to start. It is by far the best place to focus on.

Go ahead and buy coconut milk at your areas standard grocer.

But, if you want to make it easy on yourself then just visit your farmers market. There are countless benefits in doing so.

If you have no idea where a farmers market may be in your area then why not do a quick google search? Or, visit LocalHarvest.org for farmers markets or EatWild.com for grass-fed, wild meat.

Do you shop at your local farmers market? Why or why not?

by Todd Dosenberry

Want to save money? Focusing on ONE specific goal can be more effective than spreading yourself (and your money) too thin.

Conventional wisdom says that the best way to save more money is by earmarking small amounts of money towards a wide gamut of goals.

For example, your monthly savings might look like this:

• My next car purchase — $75 per month
• A “rainy day” fund — $100 per month
• A down payment on a house — $150 per month
• A trip to Italy — $50 per month
• A new dishwasher — $50 per month
• Total Savings — $425 per month

But this spread-yourself-too-thin strategy can be disheartening. After 1 year of sacrificing concert tickets, restaurant meals and cute new clothes, you’ve only managed to save $600 towards that trip to Florence and Rome. That won’t even buy your airline ticket.

What’s wrong with this savings strategy? Lack of focus.

(Now, a quick disclaimer: I’m not saying this is a bad strategy. If it works for you — awesome! This post is written for people who have tried this strategy, felt disheartened by their lack of progress, and — as a result — have given up on their dream trip to Italy.)

What’s the alternative? Focus on ONE goal at a time. Stop spreading yourself thin.

Here’s what that model would look like:

• A “rainy day” fund: $425 per month

After 8 months, you’d reach your goal of a $3,400 “rainy day” fund, at which point you turn your complete, unadulterated focus to another goal.

You start putting $425 per month away for that trip to Italy. After 6 months, you have enough saved to go there.

When you return from Italy, you start focusing on the next goal: a new dishwasher. Within 1 month, you’ve got it.

Isn’t that more satisfying than spreading your goals too thin (and therefore needing a longer time frame to reach those goals)?

This idea comes from the “snowball” method of paying off your debt. It’s a theory that states that you should pay down your smallest debt first, regardless of its interest rate. Focus all your money on just one specific debt. Once that debt is repaid, focus all your money on the second-smallest debt. And so forth.

That theory has many critics who argue that you’ll pay a lot more in interest by focusing on your smallest debt, rather than your highest-interest debt. But its supporters say that focusing on one small goal at a time is more effective than spreading yourself too thin.

The hyper-focused method may (or may not) be the best method for repaying debt — but it’s certainly a great way to save for a goal.

by Paula Pant

One of the biggest barriers to success — in anything — is lack of focus.

That we might be unfocused is also a hard thing to admit about ourselves.

Because being focused seems too limiting — too small. We’re created for greatness, right?

“I want to get debt-free AND lose weight AND train for a half-marathon AND watch less television!”

“I have an awesome product that can help anyone — I want the whole world to know about it!”

Worthy goals, to be sure. But when we spread our resources too thin, we end up falling short everywhere. If you’re having trouble gaining traction in some area of your life, perhaps it’s because you’re lacking focus.

A few years ago, a speaking colleague shared that he’d been struggling to get his business to grow. Try as he might, he could never get any of his four profit centers to exceed anything but meager growth. Then he took a different tack. He focused all of his attention on just one of the revenue streams, virtually ignoring the other ones. The area he focused on grew like a magic beanstalk. Even more amazingly, the other three areas grew as well!

He explained that if you drive one thing to the moon, the rest will come along for the ride.

A person who has focused on getting more disciplined with her personal finances and marveled at how she suddenly starts eating better has seen this phenomenon first hand.

My speaking friend inspired me to do the same. At the time, our business had a lot of different things going on and we had a new baby join our family. We were going in what seemed like a million different directions. We had a retail store, an online store, a membership program and a speaking business. My wife and I eliminated a few things entirely and decided to focus on speaking, since that was our most profitable endeavor at the time. Much to our delight, our speaking business shot through the roof and the remaining revenue streams improved as well. Meanwhile, we decreased our expenses, were less stressed, and our life became a whole lot simpler.

For me, it became a powerful lesson in focus that I’ve never forgotten.

Focus isn’t easy, but the more focused you are, the easier everything else becomes.

by Jason Kotecki

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” ~ Anatole France

I haven’t read every personal development or self-realization book out there, but I suspect that every one of them has at least a chapter that’s all about defining your dreams and focusing on what it takes to achieve them.

As Lewis Carroll said, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”  In other words, without focusing on a goal, it really doesn’t matter what you do, or how hard you work at it.

It’s funny, but in the past, I’ve only asked my clients to imagine their “ideal” lives one year out. But recently I’ve come to suspect that — as one of my clients (who has accomplished some really amazing things lately) so eloquently put it — you “need to think really big to get unstuck and expand into possibilities.”

If you’re ready to get moving, you need to focus on a goal. And if you want to move far and fast, it seems to help to have a really big goal. With that in mind, I’d like to offer five concrete steps you can take to put yourself firmly on the path to your dreams.

As it happens, I recently found three — and not in a personal development book either! It’s a book on marketing: Double Double by Cameron Herold. Here are the steps:

1) Create your “Painted Picture”: Describe in vivid detail your life three years from now. What are you doing? Who are you doing it with? What does it look like? What do you do every day?”

Cameron described how a three-year vision challenges you to think “bigger”. It makes sense that clearly imagining goals, down to the finest details, are essential to the process of achieving success for big brands, like Apple, but can you see how it would also benefit you?

The thing is, people rarely take this step. Again, as one of my clients realized, we’re so focused on getting through our day-to-day lives that we have absolutely nothing to pull us into our best selves and our best lives. The Painted Picture creates the pulling power. And by giving you the space to dream really big, the pulling power is that much greater.

2) Share your big vision with anyone and everyone.

In the past I have written my Painted Picture (what I called Vision Statements) and shared them with my coach. I have encouraged my clients to write them and share them with me. But I have never imagined broadcasting them to a wide audience.

I imagined that by writing my Painted Picture I was doing all that was necessary to get the Universe to conspire on my behalf. I think Cameron is saying avoid the “middle man” and go directly to the people who, given a chance, are in the position to help.

Now that I’ve asked my clients to do this, I’ve seen amazing things happen. Ideas and support almost immediately manifest. Just today on the private forum for my group coaching program, a member posted a question and there were 4 immediate responses. She quickly wrote back, “Thank you all for your comments and solutions. I should have posted this sooner!”

I think we hold our dreams “close to our chest” because we feel self-conscious about sharing them. The “Who am I to want so much?” will surely come up. Only to be followed soon after by the thought, “What if I fail? I’ll look like a loser.” But I hope the above example will convince you that you have SO much more to gain by sharing your vision.

3) Focus on taking daily actions.

No way around it: You have to do something. I’ve written a lot about this topic before. Cameron also recommended Teamly.com as a fun and free way to keep track of your daily tasks related to your dreams.

4) Believe you can do it.

I’ve written a lot about this too. Thousands of words can be summed up by these 4: You. Can. Do. It. Repeat them to yourself often.

5) Celebrate your successes!

Often we finish one task or accomplish a goal and rush on to the next without acknowledging that what we just did was important and meaningful. So when you’ve achieved a goal or you’re done with a task, find a way to celebrate, even if you only take a quick walk outside or drink a glass of water in a beautiful wine glass.

Celebrating your accomplishments helps cement them, and can make future tasks and big projects seem much easier.

What do you think of the list? Are you willing to do the steps? I know #2 on the list — broadcasting my dreams — gives me a great deal of anxiety. I’m sure it does for you too. When I shared this process with one of my clients, she audibly gasped.

But Cameron provided compelling evidence for the fact that it works. I’m willing to give it a try — so watch for me to publish my Painted Picture. (If I can effectively suppress the urge to go into a Witness Protection Program instead.)

by Stacey Curnow