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Finding My Yoga

 We all have moments that chal­lenge us.  Some of those moments can chal­lenge us deep within our core.  And it’s in those moments,  hav­ing a rock to lean on — what­ever that “rock” is for each of us — can be the some­thing that helps pull us through. 

Today I am hon­ored to have Peggy Nolan, from Serendip­ity Smiles, here as she talks about some of the adver­si­ties she’s had in her life, and how deeply con­nect­ing her yoga rou­tine was for her dur­ing those dark days. 

One of the chal­lenges Peggy has faced was breast can­cer.  Today she talks about that and more, and how yoga has been a source of com­fort and heal­ing through it all.

Please read and be inspired, as Peggy so beau­ti­fully writes about…

Find­ing My Yoga

 

 Hawaiian view
Creative Commons License photo credit: B Mully

“Adver­sity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that can­not be torn, so that we see our­selves as we really are.” ~ Arthur Golden, Mem­oirs of a Geisha

The frigid Jan­u­ary night I kicked my ex-husband out, my yoga mat took a beat­ing with­out com­plaint.  She absorbed the fire from my feet, the sweat from my body, and the tears from my heart.  She rooted me like a tree while the tor­nado of his deceit swirled around me.  Stand­ing on my right leg with my left foot tucked inside my right thigh, I lifted my heart and my arms upward toward the sky.  I had learned how to breathe through four months of rage, anger, and emo­tional upheaval.  My yoga mat gen­tly held me in child pose as night after night, I wept my pain away.  She bore wit­ness to my dis­cov­ery that the imper­ma­nence of ever after is no dif­fer­ent than the imper­ma­nence of each breath.  Let­ting go of my nine­teen year mar­riage and life as I knew it was not easy but I learned to un-cling myself from the past and live my life forward.

In hero pose I let my yoga mat help teach me to be still in my anger.  Sit­ting with my right knee wrapped around my left knee and both feet flexed out­wards I rounded my spine as I bowed my fore­head to my top knee.  I learned how to rec­og­nize my anger, accept it, to imag­ine hold­ing it the palm of my hand and gen­tly blow­ing it away with each exha­la­tion.  At first my ex hus­band was the object of my anger — a speck of dust that I’d visu­al­ize blow­ing away with my breath.  But as I unpeeled my anger I learned who I was really angry with — my self.  I did every­thing I could to save a mar­riage irrepara­bly dam­aged by my ex husband’s dou­ble life and in doing so, I com­pro­mised my self, my daugh­ters, my val­ues, my prin­ci­ples and my own dreams and aspirations.

Grap­pling with a pro­found sad­ness, I let my yoga mat con­vince me to take flight in eagle pose. Twist­ing my right arm over left with my palms touch­ing each other while wrap­ping my left leg around my right leg I could feel the return of my inde­pen­dence.  Bal­anced in this pos­ture, I often imag­ined myself fly­ing tri­umphantly out of Sal­vador Dali’s “Dis­in­te­gra­tion of the Per­sis­tence of Mem­ory.” I could see myself stand­ing in the mid­dle of the paint­ing sur­vey­ing the loss of time as it melted off the clock. I could see the shat­tered world I was afraid to leave.  I knew this frac­tured mis­er­able world — for years I had deter­mined to keep my fam­ily together no mat­ter what.

When I dis­cov­ered that “no mat­ter what” came at the expense of my own self-respect, I decided that a leap off the can­vas of dev­as­ta­tion into the great unknown was the best option.  I learned that when I made deci­sions that were right for me they were also right for my daughters…even if they didn’t see it at the time.

Yoga helped teach me to be my self with­out some­one else defin­ing who I was.  I mended frac­tured rela­tion­ships with peo­ple in my fam­ily and friends that my ex didn’t like.  I made choices that were right for me, like sell­ing the house my daugh­ters and I lived in and buy­ing some­thing smaller and eas­ier to man­age.  Through my divorce yoga taught me to con­nect my body with my mind and my spirit.  In doing so, I found my inter­nal spring of love, hope and grat­i­tude from which my soul is immea­sur­ably replen­ished and nur­tured.  This dis­cov­ery came not a moment too soon because five short months after my divorce was final and one year to the day after my ex hus­band and I began our dis­en­tan­gle­ment, I was diag­nosed with breast cancer.

While I needed the stead­fast strength of my friends, my fam­ily, and espe­cially my father, it was the lov­ing soli­tude of my yoga mat that I craved.  Breath­ing into the pow­er­ful war­rior poses I’d watch the ques­tions as they entered my mind: “Who am I when I no longer am who I was?” “What am I sup­posed to be doing?”  “Am I on the right path?”  “What am I sup­posed to be learn­ing right now?”  In between breaths, I’d lis­ten for the answers. 

While the answers didn’t come right away, I began to learn patience.  I became more aware of my thoughts and how my thoughts affected my cir­cum­stances.  In order to face breast can­cer I cleaned out the remain­ing neg­a­tive skele­tons from the far reaches of my mind and I decided to face this dis­ease the only way I knew how — with grat­i­tude and a deep appre­ci­a­tion for being alive.

Four days after my first surgery to remove a three-inch clus­ter of non-invasive can­cer cells, my yoga mat hugged me close as I lay uncom­fort­ably belly down. Poses that were once sim­ple, like cobra, bow, and air­plane now pre­sented a phys­i­cal chal­lenge that I couldn’t just bull­doze my way through.  Lift­ing my shoul­ders off the floor for the first phase of cobra pose, some­thing I could eas­ily do just a week before was an incred­i­bly painful chal­lenge.  Lay­ing face down on my yoga mat, I know I heard her laugh as I learned to be hum­bled by the power that resides in not doing.  After my doc­tor called with the results of the first surgery, I real­ized that I’d be doing a lot of not doing on my yoga mat.

My doc­tor started with the bad news first.  Pathol­ogy deter­mined the can­cer to be inva­sive as well and that it had spread to my lymph sys­tem.  The good news, she told me, was that this was all treat­able with surgery and chemother­apy.  I would lose my breast and in return I’d most likely go on liv­ing for another 40 or so years.

Nine days after hav­ing a mas­tec­tomy, I unfurled my yoga mat in the stu­dio. 
Sur­prised, well mean­ing friends asked me what I was doing back so soon after surgery.  My yoga mat didn’t ques­tion me for she under­stood why.  She knew I needed to be there and move my body — to see what worked and what didn’t work.   The com­pas­sion of my blue sticky mat sup­ported me, cra­dled me, and kept me safe.  While I couldn’t do down­ward fac­ing dog I could and did mod­ify the pose and was the only one in class mas­ter­ing the fine art of the one armed down dog.

Through chemother­apy, my yoga mat hung onto me.  Qui­etly coax­ing what lit­tle my body could give she made me dig deep and helped me dis­cover the place within myself where the Divine resides and where I am at peace.  I bat­tled with lone­li­ness — and can­cer is a very lonely dis­ease — only to uncover that by accept­ing my lone­li­ness I found a free­dom and lib­er­a­tion that trans­formed my per­spec­tive on liv­ing my own life.  Lay­ing in shavasana, or dead man’s pose, my arms and legs stretched out in relax­ation, I found that my some­day is now and now is all I have.

Dur­ing radi­a­tion ther­apy my yoga mat wel­comed back my energy and strength. 
I put her through the paces often dou­bling up on Mon­day nights and doing back-to-back classes.  One hun­dred and eighty min­utes of yoga to which my friends thought I was nuts but my yoga mat knew I was catch­ing up on some long over due work.  Plank, side plank, chat­terunga, up dog, down dog, back to plank.  I’d repeat the series until I heard the white lotus blos­soms whis­per, “less is more.”

Two months after I fin­ished treat­ment and one year after I was diag­nosed, the com­pany I worked for laid off my entire group.  The day after I lost my job I sat in a twist on my yoga mat try­ing to fig­ure out how I was going to deal with one daugh­ter in col­lege, the other in high school, recon­struc­tive surgery, health ben­e­fits, the mort­gage, and still put food on the table.  With sur­pris­ing force­ful­ness I heard her say, “another sil­ver lin­ing.”  I untwisted myself and felt an amaz­ing release. 

After all I’ve been through I now saw that los­ing my job was an oppor­tu­nity to change direc­tion. Inspired by my favorite TS Elliot quote, “If you are unwill­ing to impose your own terms upon life, then you must be will­ing to accept what life offers you,” I knew it was time to impose my own terms upon life.  I rene­go­ti­ated a bet­ter sev­er­ance pack­age; I found a new posi­tion within days but took a six-week break from the insan­ity of cor­po­rate Amer­ica; I went on vaca­tion; I started writ­ing again; and with a clean bill of health from my doc­tors, I became a breast can­cer thriver.

Oil and sweat from my feet and hands have left indeli­ble marks on my blue sticky yoga mat.  My toes have worn out spots — all those lunges and war­rior poses — and my yoga mat is crum­bling where I ground down with the balls of my feet.   My mat has car­ried me through three major life-altering events in less than three years: divorce, breast can­cer and los­ing a job.  I can count on my yoga prac­tice to be there, unfail­ing and sup­port­ive of the parts that are all of me.

The answers I seek through my yoga prac­tice are open ended.  I’m no longer plagued by the sense of loss of who I was because I haven’t really lost who I was — she’s with me as I cre­ate a new vision of who I am.  I believe that the Uni­verse is unfold­ing exactly as She should and I’m stand­ing in the mid­dle of my own unfold­ing.  Root­ing down into my yoga mat, I stand in God­dess pose com­pletely recep­tive to my own inner strength, courage, and wisdom.

About Peggy Nolan
Peggy Nolan is a free­lance writer, breast can­cer sur­vivor and cer­ti­fied yoga teacher liv­ing in Derry, NH.  Peggy is the author of two blogs, Serendip­ity Smiles and The Stepmom’s Tool Box, and is pas­sion­ate about help­ing oth­ers help themselves.

Lance writes sto­ries from his heart, aim­ing to inspire and moti­vate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he’s not here, you can find him hang­ing out with his fam­ily, rid­ing a bike, or just gen­er­ally act­ing goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Tree­house newslet­ter and get addi­tional inspi­ra­tion in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
View all posts by Lance Ekum

Comments

  1. Peggy,
    Thank you so much for shar­ing your incred­i­ble jour­ney of sur­vival, heal­ing, and mov­ing for­ward with your life. My faith is much like your expe­ri­ence with yoga. It brings me com­fort in times of sad­ness, help in times of trou­ble, and heal­ing that is above any­thing I ever could have imagined.

    You are an amaz­ing per­son and your writ­ing is like read­ing poetry.
    .-= Diane Fit to the Finish´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Find­ing Myself In Thin­ness =-.

  2. Hi

    Thank you for shar­ing your expe­ri­ence and really cap­tur­ing the power and beauty of yoga. I am in awe each time I take to my yoga mat. I hope that this really encour­ages those in dif­fi­cult times or good times to take to this won­der­ful form of ther­apy, exer­cise, reju­ve­na­tion and mediation.

    Juliet
    .-= Juliet | Freelancewise´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Socrates: The Test of Three =-.

  3. Daphne says:

    Lance, thank you so much for fea­tur­ing Peggy on your blog today.

    Peggy, your writ­ing moves me to tears, in a moti­va­tional and inspir­ing way. I’m going to send your words to my mother, who is in the process of find­ing her­self and who I hope will also be moved and inspired by your words. I am fre­quently impressed by your jour­ney and the atti­tude you have cho­sen. I hold you up as an exam­ple of the way I’d like to be. Thank you for shar­ing so much of your­self with the world.
    .-= Daphne´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Own Your Way =-.

  4. Angelia sims says:

    Peggy,
    Your story is beau­ti­fully writ­ten. It cap­tures your strug­gles, heartache, and utter endurance. You are a tes­ta­ment of per­se­ver­ance and inner strength. It is a bless­ing to know you. Thank you for shar­ing your yoga mat today.
    Angelia

    Lance-Thank you for guest­ing such a shin­ing heart­light on your blog today. You always seem to find such trea­sures to reveal.
    .-= Angelia sims´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Do I Have Fleas or What? =-.

  5. Evelyn Lim says:

    Peggy, thank you for shar­ing your story with us. I ached as I read about each chang­ing period in your life. You’ve said it so beau­ti­fully with: “While the answers didn’t come right away, I began to learn patience.” Indeed, this was my les­son for the past two days.

    Your courage is cer­tainly an inspi­ra­tion! You have shown how life has a way of pre­sent­ing sit­u­a­tion after sit­u­a­tion to us, so that we can always learn some­thing more and deeper.

    I wish you con­tin­ued hap­pi­ness, suc­cess and peace. May your yoga mat sup­port you always!

    With love,
    Eve­lyn
    .-= Eve­lyn Lim´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Break From Blog­ging =-.

  6. Wow! How lucky you are to have dis­cov­ered your anchor. Yoga is com­fort­ing and heal­ing. Rec­og­niz­ing your mat as the place where you ALWAYS find a sooth­ing, recep­tive wel­come is bril­liant. Your mat is your rock — unchange­able. We humans are too mer­cu­r­ial to hold that anchor place. It’s too much to expect from any­one. How won­der­ful that you’ve dis­cov­ered that place for you. My rock is my mar­tial arts prac­tice. When I started tak­ing box­ing lessons, I had no idea how my life would anchor around punch­ing a heavy bag. I under­stand and I appre­ci­ate you speak­ing your peace so elo­quently.
    Cheryl
    .-= Cheryl from thatgirlisfunny´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..What Bal­a­clavas Can Teach Us about Courage =-.

  7. YAY for yoga! Thank you so much for shar­ing your story. Yoga is a phe­nom­e­nal heal­ing prac­tice that so many peo­ple still shy away from. Heal­ing emo­tional or phys­i­cal wounds…yoga helped me with both. My mat is where I turn when I need to heal. It is so much more than phys­i­cal, and by shar­ing your story you shed light on that often miss­ing piece.

    Thanks Lance for let­ting Peggy share her story here. It’s so important.

    Best to you Peggy. Your courage to share this will affect many.

  8. Namaste, Miss Peggy.
    You are a Divine being and I honor that Divine in you!
    A mar­vel of the world, the human body, mind and soul are able to bear so very much. I have never enjoyed yoga that much, but you make me want to try again. What power it has given you to cen­ter your­self and face all these oppor­tu­ni­ties head on… oppor­tu­ni­ties because you obvi­ously had great growth from them. I am in awe of your resiliency. Thank you Lance and Peggy for shar­ing this beau­ti­ful inspi­ra­tion today.
    Enjoy the day!
    Erin
    .-= Erin Prais-Hintz´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..30 Words::On The Edge =-.

  9. diantha says:

    Lance, thank you for hav­ing Peggy share her inspir­ing story here today!
    And Peggy, thank you for being so open and vul­ner­a­ble, shar­ing this story that is no doubt so help­ful to so many! We all have our major challenge(s) in life and what mat­ters is how we respond. Your story is cer­tainly a model for how we can over­come or move through these chal­lenges. A young friend of mine, now about 33, used yoga as a tool in recov­er­ing from a vio­lent rape. She said that the move­ment of the body and the focus­ing of the mind on that move­ment is what helped her through that night­mare time. She is now a yoga instruc­tor, help­ing other young women through such chal­lenges. May your jour­ney con­tinue to be blessed so that you can be a bless­ing to others.….xo

  10. Peggy — It is so won­der­ful and beau­ti­ful to read your words and the won­ders of your expe­ri­ences. Your out­look and all that you have over­come within are inspir­ing. THe dis­cov­ery of such inner strength is breath tak­ing. You are a won­der­ful model of a life that thrives!

    Thank you and thank you Lance for shar­ing too…
    .-= The Exception´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..One Size Fits All? =-.

  11. Beau­ti­ful story, beau­ti­ful soul. Thank you Lance for invit­ing Peggy to share this por­tion of her life’s jour­ney with us.
    Namaste in both of you,
    Laura

  12. suzen says:

    Lance,
    You have a gift for find­ing exactly the right peo­ple to fea­ture on your blog! I’ve been read­ing Peggy’s blog too, and she is a con­stant source of inspi­ra­tion!
    Peggy,
    Your writ­ing is sheer poetry of the heart! Your very words are heal­ing. I am touched beyond words by the soul­ful­ness!
    Much love,
    suzen
    .-= suzen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Mon­key See, Mon­key Do =-.

  13. Srinivas Rao says:

    Thanks for shar­ing your story. I’ve heard many things about the ben­e­fits of Yoga, but I think you did a great job con­nect­ing it to an emo­tional and phys­i­cal heal­ing expe­ri­ence.
    .-= Srini­vas Rao´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..How often do you decide not to brush your teeth? =-.

  14. Peggy Nolan says:

    Hello every­one!

    I am touched by your words and deeply grate­ful to Lance! I am cur­rently enter­tain­ing my daughter’s future in-laws from Ire­land but I PROMISE to get back on later tonight and respond to all of you.

    Namaste :-)
    Peggy
    .-= Peggy Nolan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Guest Blog­ging =-.

  15. Lynn says:

    A lovely and inspir­ing story. I espe­cially like that you retain who you were as you con­tinue to grow.
    .-= Lynn´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Mys­ti­cally mag­i­cal, lis­ten­ing and a good thing =-.

  16. Jay Schryer says:

    This was very beau­ti­ful. Thank you so much for shar­ing it!
    .-= Jay Schryer´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Mem­o­ries Best Left For­got­ten =-.

  17. Lance, thank you for bring­ing Peggy here to write about her inspi­ra­tional expe­ri­ences.
    Peggy, thank you for every­thing you share with us, day in and day out.
    Read­ing about how yoga helped you to remain cen­tered in a very uncer­tain time of your life has renewed my own inter­est in it. Just like when I read your com­ment on another blog about War­rior II — stand­ing per­fectly still between the past and the future, and well rooted in the present moment. I think of you when­ever I move into that posi­tion.
    I look at your life and think that I, too, can be a hero like you are. That’s how I see you: some­one who is always stand­ing at the plate with a bat in her hand, ready to swing. I will admit that there are days when I don’t even want to put on my uni­form and head to the field… yet I know that’s the only place where my life can unfold, play by play.
    Much love to you, today and always!
    .-= Megan “Joy­Girl!” Bord´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..A Study in Sib­ling Reverie =-.

  18. Julie says:

    Peggy, your deft way of meld­ing together poses and thoughts beau­ti­fully demon­strates the lux­u­ri­ously flow­ing com­plete­ness that yoga offers. And to find those moments when the inner voice speaks: ah, the sheer bliss of con­nect­ed­ness. Thank you for shar­ing, so gen­tly and elo­quently, the beau­ti­ful story of your pas­sages of growth and the wis­dom borne from going within. I was there with you, liv­ing your move­ments, feel­ing your changes, under­stand­ing your com­fort and inner peace; I could read you forever.

    If I may, a sug­ges­tion? Maybe your aged mat could be enticed to men­tor a new one from time to time. Let the old­ster watch the young­ster learn the ropes, and then when it’s time for the old one to retire, you’ll all have an eas­ier tran­si­tion. ;)
    – — -
    Hi, Lance, many thanks for intro­duc­ing us to Peggy.
    .-= Julie´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Honor Redux, with a Twist =-.

  19. Evita says:

    Hi Lance and Peggy

    Lance — thank you for hav­ing Peggy share her story with us all

    Peggy — thank you so much for shar­ing your story. I am sure all that you have talked about and all that you have gone through isn’t the eas­i­est thing to talk about, espe­cially to so many peo­ple. But through this I think there is an aspect of heal­ing for you, as well as learn­ing for so many of us from your story.

    It is so fan­tas­tic to hear how you dealt with and got through your chal­leng­ing times using yoga. I truly believe it has amaz­ing heal­ing prop­er­ties and wish I got myself to do it more. But of course I am the only one stand­ing in the way of that.

    So I wish you lots of con­tin­ued heal­ing — you are a sur­vivor in more ways than one and a shin­ing exam­ple for many of how we can over­come any­thing and rise higher than we per­haps every thought before.
    .-= Evita´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..14 Things I Can’t Live With­out =-.

  20. Peggy,
    Wow what an amaz­ing story of your strength, heal­ing and yoga. I’m amazed at power of your words com­bined with the yoga poses and their method of heal­ing. I know you’re work­ing on a book yet I think this story is a book in itself. Like Julie I could read you forever.

    How blessed your girls are to have a liv­ing exam­ple of how to pro­ceed, heal and tri­umph in life no mat­ter what comes their way. I’m curi­ous did you keep a jour­nal dur­ing these times?

    Thanks Lance you found another shin­ing star!
    .-= Tess The Bold Life´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The In Crowd vs The Within Crowd =-.

  21. Sharmila says:

    Lance, you do have a won­der­ful mag­net with find­ing such lovely guests! :) Thanks for host­ing on your remark­able ~pos­i­tive site! ;)
    Peggy, I was so touched by your writ­ing, and shar­ing, I almost don’t know what to say except thank you! Some of your jour­ney pegs really helped me to see the process from my own health jour­ney over the last year and a bit, and I am finally at that ‘walk in com­plete faith’ stage.. sur­ren­der­ing to the beau­ti­ful noth­ing­ness that is who we are ;) It is amaz­ing what it takes to really fall into grace, into Love and to then receive by stay­ing immersed in this pres­ence. You truly write beau­ti­fully and gen­uinely from the heart and I am grate­ful to have been blessed by your guest blog ;) I will con­tinue fol­low­ing your site as well ;) Namaste~ Jen
    .-= Sharmila´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..New Thoughts: Being and Non-Being.. =-.

  22. Incred­i­ble jour­ney of ups and downs. Incred­i­ble woman of deter­mi­na­tion, courage and sur­vival. Incred­i­bly tough and resilient yoga mat of friend­ship, I have a feel­ing she will never give it up!

    Very inspir­ing and told from your heart of hearts. Thanks, Peggy and thanks, Lance!
    .-= Jan­nie Funster´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..10 Great Mys­ter­ies of the Uni­verse, 2 =-.

  23. Joy says:

    Peggy,
    Thank you! You are coura­geous and bold, beau­ti­ful, witty.…
    My yoga mat is where I learn most about myself. I was afraid to even try yoga because I thought I had to be pure and clean in life…that was my first les­son, you come just as you are, to yoga, to life. And it just grew from there. The par­al­lels between my prac­tice and my life are amazing…I find if I chal­lenge myself on the mat, I am pre­pared for chal­lenges in life; if I’ve opened or released on the mat, some­thing will open or release in life; if I am afraid on the mat, there is a fear in life to deal with. Last week I was diag­nosed with can­cer and went to my mat to see if I’m still “me”.….a sigh of relief I am and regard­less of phys­i­cal changes, I always will be:) I stood in War­rior and har­nessed the power, I rested in Savasana and calmed my mind. Thank you for your inspiration!

  24. Hi Lance, thank you for host­ing Peggy here!
    Peggy, this is a lovely and very mov­ing post. The way you weave your life expe­ri­ences through the yoga poses is bril­liant. You are such a tal­ented writer…this was like a chap­ter out of a really, really good book. I agree with Megan above, you are absolutely a hero. I love it that you feeeeel every­thing as it’s hap­pen­ing and then fig­ure out how you will land on your feet-and then do it. Thank you for shar­ing more of your jour­ney here! Best to you for a happy week­end! Jodi
    .-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Love in All Direc­tions =-.

  25. Wilma Ham says:

    Phew, read­ing this has been a great gift, thank you both Peggy and Lance.
    Yoga will never be the same to me, I never ever had a look into yoga like Peggy just offered.
    Not that I ever thought much about yoga, exer­cises always had a bad press and my doing Pilates is just me going through the motions of keep­ing me flex­i­ble.
    I might be miss­ing some­thing here! I will look at my Pilates a bit dif­fer­ently tomor­row and see what trea­sures I have left unfound.
    Once again read­ing this beau­ti­ful so gen­er­ously shared writ­ing has been awe­some, love to you both, Wilma
    .-= Wilma Ham´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..What hap­pens when instead of an old fash­ioned part­ner I become a spon­sor. =-.

  26. Michelle says:

    beau­ti­ful.

  27. Peggy,

    I came close to tears while read­ing your story. It’s not just the story itself which moved me, but your com­plete hon­esty and open-heartedness in telling it. Thank you so much. I espe­cially love this line: “I learned that when I made deci­sions that were right for me they were also right for my daughters…even if they didn’t see it at the time.” So true that we can­not hon­our oth­ers if we don’t hon­our ourselves.

    Lance,

    At first I thought you’d taken up yoga! Lovely guest post as always.
    .-= Daphne @ Joy­ful Days´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..What Makes A Good Rela­tion­ship =-.

  28. Lisa's Chaos says:

    They offer yoga at the can­cer retreats I go to and I’ve always enjoyed it. I was first intro­duced at one of these retreats. :)
    .-= Lisa’s Chaos´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Don’t they mean plots? =-.

  29. Hi Peggy,
    What a beau­ti­ful story of your life. The way you write, the beauty, flow and melody of your words just touches the right chords in the heart. Being grounded in the time of adver­sity is the hard­est thing to do. Yoga, has been my anchor too for a very long time. It espe­cially helped dur­ing my preg­nancy, when I really really phys­i­cally suf­fered a lot with aller­gies, pains and aches. I know preg­nancy is sup­posed to be a time for glow…but I didnt .…it was very hard on me. Thats when i started doing Yoga faithfully…and it helped. It reduced my phys­i­cal pain..and calmed my mind, so that i could focus less of the phys­i­cal has­sles and more on the beau­ti­ful lit­tle angel inside me.
    Some­how my faith in The Maker is my first con­stant anchor…and yoga comes imme­di­ately after :)

    Lance,
    Thank you for always find­ing the per­fectly lovely souls to fea­ture on your blog.
    .-= Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..My New Begin­nings =-.

  30. Peggy Nolan says:

    Dear every­one — I am moved by your com­ments and I want to take the time to address each of you in a more per­sonal way. I promise to jump back on here later tonight when my daugh­ter has her future-in-laws to her­self (she’s tak­ing them to meet her dad…the ex in my story).

    I never imag­ined this part of my story would have this kind of impact.

    xxoo

    Peggy
    .-= Peggy Nolan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Guest Blog­ging =-.

  31. Jeanne says:

    Thankyou so much Lance and Peggy

    Bless­ings
    Jeanne?
    .-= Jeanne´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Happy Sweet­est Day =-.

  32. Peggy, you are amaz­ing and I feel grate­ful that I was able to read your story.
    .-= Tabitha@ichoosebliss´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Goings On In My Life =-.

  33. Keith says:

    Hello Lance and Peggy,

    Peggy, what a beau­ti­ful story of inner strength and courage. I am blessed today by hav­ing read your story and I thank you for shar­ing it, for being so trans­par­ent and gen­uine.
    .-= Keith´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Over­load Your Life! =-.

  34. Laurie says:

    Thanks Lance and Peggy for shar­ing this jour­ney. Your courage, Peggy, inspires us all to weather the storms in life with hope and per­se­ver­ance. There is a lady in my yoga class with a dif­fer­ent type of can­cer. The yoga seems help­ful to her as well. I do yoga too, to help with anx­i­ety and because bend­ing like a pret­zel is kind of fun. It’s amaz­ing to me how it has emo­tional, men­tal, and spir­i­tual ben­e­fits as well.

    God bless your journey.

  35. Tim says:

    Lance:

    Thank you for for­mally intro­duc­ing us to Peggy. Peggy — I really enjoyed learn­ing about how yoga helped you get through this chal­leng­ing time in your life. About 10 years ago, my grand­mother passed away and it was at this time that I took my first yoga class. I was amazed how dif­fer­ent (and at peace) I felt as a result of tak­ing the class and it helped me get through that time. I still have my yoga mat, but today I do more stretch­ing than yoga. I know I need to focus on my breath a lit­tle more. These days, as I hit another chal­leng­ing time in my life, I know I need to get back to a class. Thanks again!

  36. Peggy Nolan says:

    Hi Diane! Faith really does move mountains…mostly, the moun­tains we cre­ate in our heads!

    Hi Juliet! Yoga truly is one of the best ways to con­nect your mind, body and spirit.

    Hi Daphne! Please let me know if there’s any­thing else I can do to help your mom. You are an amaz­ing daugh­ter to want to help her!

    Hi Angelia! Hugs hon! It is also a bless­ing to know you!

    Hi Eve­lyn! Just when I think I’ve mas­tered patience, I have to learn it all over again! Or a new way to be when chaos swirls around me. Namaste!

    Hi Cheryl! While I found my anchor in yoga, I found my war­rior god­dess in Thai Kickboxing…I just tested for and received my rec­om­mended black belt! I think we’re kin­dred spirits!!

    Hi Stacey! I hope that I can be the kind of yoga teacher that teaches how much more yoga is than just the phys­i­cal! Thank you for attest­ing to the power of yoga in times of struggle.

    Namaste Erin! Find­ing the right yoga teacher for you is also impor­tant. There are many types of yoga and I have been for­tu­nate to find two excep­tional teach­ers along my jour­ney. I hope you find the teacher that can show you how pow­er­ful yoga can be!

    Hi Diantha! If my story helps one per­son, than YAY! Being able to focus my breath and my mind on my breath as I move through each pos­ture is my way of gath­er­ing back the energy that belongs to me. Some of it is bor­rowed as I breathe in the energy around me, but with each exhale, I can only hope that I’m giv­ing back!

    Hi The Excep­tion, Laura, Srini­vas, Jan­nie, Lisa, Michelle, Tabitha, Keith, Lynn and Jay – thank you so much!

    Hi SuZen! As I am always touched by your words also! Thank you ?

    Hi Megan! You are a HERO! Never for­get that!!

    Hi Julie! My aged and very retired mat has men­tored and wel­comed in a new crew of mats…a pink one, a blue one and my very cool black one, which was a gift! Your com­pli­ments of my writ­ing are very uplift­ing ~ thank you!

    Hi Evita! Writ­ing my jour­ney has been incred­i­bly heal­ing! And see­ing that it inspires and helps oth­ers is the icing on the cake. Thank you!

    Hi Tess! Yes – I did keep a jour­nal and most (if not all) of my essays are borne from my jour­nal. Keep­ing my fin­gers crossed that my girls did learn a lit­tle some­thing from my struggle!!

    Hi Sharmila! You are very wel­come! Namaste!

    Hi Joy! Yoga is such an amaz­ing teach­ing tool. I’ve learned so much about myself and how I deal with other peo­ple. Yoga is a come as you are prac­tice, but when your daily prac­tice is done, you leave your mat trans­formed. Oth­ers may not see the change right away, but the more you prac­tice, the more pro­nounced the trans­for­ma­tion. Can­cer can not change who you are. Please let me know if there’s any­thing I can help with…

    Hi Jodi! You inspire me to get that book finally writ­ten! Thank you for being one of my blog heros! ?

    Hi Wilma! Do tell…did you find any hid­den trea­sures in your pilates move­ments? As a teacher, I’ve learned how each yoga pose helps heals. What it’s good for, why it ben­e­fits you, how you ben­e­fit from it. And since every­thing is con­nected, it’s just wicked cool to see some­one have their “a-ha” yoga moment!

    Hi Daphne #2! Every­time I go within dur­ing my prac­tice and have a deci­sion loom­ing, the inner focus really helps me tune into the answer. When I do this, it really is hard to make the wrong deci­sion. When I get the ego out of the way and fol­low what my heart knows to be the truth, the deci­sions I make are made in peace and love. Not fear. That’s when I know they’re good deci­sions for me and those around me.

    Hi Zeenat! Being grounded through adver­sity is tough! And some days are tougher than oth­ers. I am happy that you have found your yoga prac­tice to be as every bit ben­e­fi­cial to you as mine is to me! Namaste!

    Hi Lau­rie – secret: I kind of like that I can bend like Gumby. Although some twists aren’t as avail­able to me as they were before I had surgery, I have very flex­i­ble hips and my for­ward folds leave my thai kick­box­ing friends rather speech­less. (but then, they should be doing yoga with me…and they too would be a bit more flex­i­ble!)
    .-= Peggy Nolan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Guest Blog­ging =-.

  37. Sweet post. Peace of mind can come from yoga because it increase seren­ity!
    .-= Pos­i­tive Gangsta´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..17 Fun­da­men­tal Tips on Suc­cess­ful Liv­ing Bitches =-.

  38. Lance says:

    Peggy,
    Thank you for your open and hon­est shar­ing here. It’s through sto­ries like this, that not only do you find heal­ing through putting your words on paper (so to speak), but it’s also all of us — who through your brave shar­ing — are more okay with our own selves. Selves that are some­times bro­ken, some­times weary, some­time down. And you shine what IS pos­si­ble, in con­nect­ing with some­thing that grounds us, in what gives us faith and a belief in our­selves. And that is such a gift. Your story is mov­ing on many lev­els, and espe­cially for me — on the courage you’ve had to keep going for­ward. I find what you’ve shared to touch deeply on the human spirit, a spirit that is strong and filled with love.

    It’s been an honor to have you here, shar­ing your story with all of us. You give me con­tin­ued faith, in those moments that chal­lenge us — that “this too shall pass…” rings ever true. Thank you for shar­ing your beau­ti­ful gift of your­self, here with all of us.

  39. Lance says:

    All,
    Thank you, every­one of you, for read­ing Peggy’s story — a story very much filled with hope and belief in what can be, and a belief in just how beau­ti­ful the human spirit is! I deeply appre­ci­ate you read­ing a story that was so mov­ing for me to fea­ture here this week.

  40. Peggy,
    Thanks for shar­ing your jour­ney and invit­ing us along with you. I’ve been want­ing to start Yoga with my wife for sev­eral years now. We joined a gym two weeks ago to get “vaca­tion ready” and I start Yoga this Thurs­day. Read­ing your story is yet another reminder (among many) that I’m exactly where I’m sup­posed to be in my journey.

    Oh, and the photo, Hanalei Bay Pier. Amaz­ing place. My wife and I got mar­ried on Kauai and spent most of our wed­ding day after­noon sit­ting on that Pier and watch­ing the surfers and sun set.
    .-= Jared | SpiritualZen.net´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Racism and Spir­i­tual Growth =-.

  41. Marelisa says:

    Hi Peggy: Yoga is a great reminder of how closely related our body, mind, and soul are. We live in a soci­ety in which most peo­ple live in their heads and try to solve all their prob­lems by think­ing; but some­times the best thing you can do is quiet the mind and let the body take the lead.
    .-= Marelisa´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Have You Thought of Tak­ing a Sab­bat­i­cal? =-.

  42. Hilary says:

    Hi Peggy and Lance — good to meet you and what an uplift­ing story — con­grat­u­la­tions on your approach .. maybe it wasn’t easy ini­tially (it doesn’t sound it) but you had faith in your mat and your­self — and it is so won­der­ful you can share with us. I’m pleased to have read this now.

    Yoga is some­thing I’ve never done — being a squash, ten­nis player etc, not a run­ner either — but now I need to loosen my mus­cles and I’m con­sid­er­ing yoga — your descrip­tions of your heal­ing expe­ri­ences with your mat encour­age me.

    I love that quote — impose your­self on life, or oth­ers’ lives will impose theirs ..

    Thanks really inter­est­ing -
    Hilary Melton-Butcher
    Pos­i­tive Let­ters Inspi­ra­tional Sto­ries
    .-= Hilary´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Grovel at Gravel … Recipe for a Moss Milk­shake … =-.

  43. jen says:

    Peggy/Lance,
    I wish I’d had yoga 11 years ago when I was going through my divorce. I know yoga has heal­ing power, but I’ve never heard it put like this. Rarely do peo­ple open up this much of their souls on blogs, Peggy. I’m glad you did. You’ll be rewarded for it, I’m sure, in ways you may never know. That seems to be the way it goes. With great risk comes great rewards. Bless you and bless Lance for pro­vid­ing a forum for the best of the Blo­gos­phere.
    .-= jen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..man­hood for ama­teurs and “domes­ti­cated gen x males” [excerpt] =-.

  44. Peggy Nolan says:

    Hi Jared! Your body is going to love yoga! Have fun in your first class tomorrow!

    Hi Marelisa! I used to live in my head until I learned that our bod­ies remem­ber every­thing. Whether it’s a phys­i­cal injury or an emo­tional one. That was a big learn­ing a-ha for me!

    Hi Hilary! I hope you give yoga a chance. Your body will thank you :-)

    Hi Jen! We all find our way when we’re ready…The biggest thing that yoga helps me with is keep­ing my peace and poise of mind. Namaste!
    .-= Peggy Nolan´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..FNLEHPY =-.

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