I was working with a couple who had split up amicably, and I asked the woman what are some of the positive things from this relationship you would like to keep for the future?
She told me that she valued the communication, the openness and fun she had had with her partner. Those became the "seed" she planted, and when she got into the next relationship they became her focal point, her focus.
Like the fruit of a tree that falls to the ground and dies, the ending of a relationship holds the seeds for future relationships. But we must consciously ask: What have I learned? What do I want to let go of? What do I want to keep?
I teach Huna, the ancient Hawaiian understanding of energy, healing and life, from my experience and lineage. Fall is a good time to take stock of our lives according to the law of cycles and rhythms that is part of Huna and other indigenous teachings.
Our world, our entire experience of our reality, occurs as a flow of energy like the alternating current that powers our electric appliances. For instance, business people know they must spend money to make money, and learn how to monitor the flow of energy (money) returning through their investments.
Our consciousness moves in natural cycles too – every 90 minutes or so we go into a light altered state where our brainwave pattern changes and we enter a more relaxed frame of mind. Do you ever have daydreams or need to walk outside and take a quick break? That is an example.
It is no secret that cycles and rhythms in the natural world, such as lunar phases and seasons, influence our lives. Every medical doctor I have talked to and worked with who has ever had experience in emergency care will say without a doubt there are more accidents and more crazy experiences on a full moon – even though there is no scientific explanation for it. That's where the word lunatic comes from. Early psychology recognized that on a full moon, crazy people got crazier for some reason.
The ancient Hawaiians understood through Huna that there are three basic energies experienced in all cycles and rhythms: birth, growth and completion or death. The cycle of fall now upon us is when the earth is transforming to a time of completing the change that began in spring.
I have had people ask me, since there are four seasons, why are there only three energies? While spring and winter are the beginning and end of the seasonal cycle, both summer and fall are part of the period of where growth moves to completion. Summer represents the peak of that change or transformation. Fall is when the seasonal curve moves toward completion.
In the fall we can begin to shed or release any of those things that we no longer need as we bring the year to an end. It is also a time when we can prepare for winter and store up the seeds of what we want to experience in the coming spring.
My stepfather lives at a very high altitude in the Sierra mountain range in California. This is a time of year when he begins to prepare for the winter. He makes sure he has wood chopped and stored, that his house has been weatherproofed and the roof is ready for the buildup of snow and ice. He checks the road to his house to make sure it can handle heavy snows and rains.
Likewise, we can look at fall as a time to spiritually prepare for both winter and spring by asking ourselves three questions:
- What have I learned from what I have put into creation and experienced?
- What do I want to change, transform or bring completion in the winter?
- What aspect do I want to keep for the coming spring?
Every time I hold a training, I always take time near the end to and ask myself, what did I learn from this cycle? What aspects do I want to let go of? What parts do I want to keep for my next training?
This fall, ask yourself: What have I learned about myself? About my life? About society or our economic system? What do I want to let go of? What do I want to preserve? Make those things you want to preserve your focus in winter to prepare for spring.
My grandfather always said life is about learning. Good and bad, happy and sad, there is something to be learned. Fall is a time to reflect on what we have learned, what we want to release and what we will nurture in the coming year.
About the Author: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership, where he serves as a master trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a practical behavioral technology for helping people achieve their desired results in life. Dr. Matt has also immersed himself in Huna, the ancient practices of the Hawaiian islands of forgiveness and meditation for mental health and well-being, and he carries on the lineage of one of the last practicing kahuna. In his new book, Find Your Purpose, Master Your Path, Dr. Matt melds the ancient wisdom of Huna with modern psychology to assist us in leading conscious, purpose-driven lives. Dr. James contributes regularly to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today blogs. For more information and details on the NLP Practitioner Certification training now being offered for $97, visit www.NLP.com.