I have a special guest visiting today. Vanessa, from VanessaLeigh, is here and sharing a deeply personal part of her own life journey.
I approached Vanessa about sharing this part of her journey, and what love means to her, knowing fully that this is a subject that can sometimes be a challenging discussion.
And I wonder, who are we to judge another? Who are we to think we have all the answers? Who are we to question the deep longings and beautiful connections of two souls brought together?
So, it is with my deep gratitude that I share with you Vanessa, who she is, and what love is. And, as I read this, I can only believe that my place is not one to judge another because they are somehow different from me. In fact, as I think about this more deeply, are we not all different? And are there not things in our heart that would speak love even more beautifully if we lived that place with even more compassion and care?
Vanessa, thank you for so openly sharing, and for speaking the truth in your heart. You are a shining and beautiful soul, and it is an honor to have you here.
I Am NOT An Abomination
“We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved.” ~ Anonymous
I feel compelled to write about this due to the strong feelings associated with this topic: HOMOSEXUALITY. I don’t get angry about the topic much anymore, as much as become determined, almost indignant, on needing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this. And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homosexuality is as natural in humanity as heterosexuality, even if I were not a lesbian. But I am a lesbian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.
Now, I am not writing this post as a testament to what science is proving in terms of sexual orientation and genetics. I am not writing this post as a way to quote passages of Scripture, to defend why they are misinterpreted. I am writing this from a feeling, human perspective. It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the personal perspective to the table, which is not always considered when the various sides of this issue take their positions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.
I feel firmly confident in the fact that God has created me, as well as millions of other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be. I would, and do, believe that regardless if science seemed to indicate that there are genetic differences or not, that God meant for this to be. I feel fully connected to God and to my spirituality, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay. I am a kind, generous human being, I give willingly to others, I try to be fair and not wasteful, and I have a committed, lifelong partner whom I am devoted to. We are raising a well adjusted, beautiful daughter and doing a fine job. God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.
This is usually where the conversation goes to the area of “love the sinner, hate the sin” kind of statements, referring to being gay as being a “choice” or “lifestyle”, and that we are “giving in” to “sinful urges” without restraint. While I will not be discussing my own sexual behavior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sexual orientation, or in my case, being a lesbian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sexual behavior, sexual activity, sexual intimacy. Yes, that is part of it in most of the couple relationships that I am acquainted with, as in most committed relationships. That is PART of what connects two persons to one another. But, think about it for a minute: when you meet someone that you know may be a significant person to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attraction? Some of us have had the experience of being attracted to a person physically or sexually only, with nothing else much there. That has not been my typical experience, and that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about falling in love, being attracted to a person on all levels: physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, soulfully, prayerfully – the heart to heart connection that comes with those that we fall in love with madly. THAT is what orientation is about. If I were to describe a heterosexual orientation as only about sex, or sexual attraction or intimacy, I would be diminishing it and leaving out so much else that describes and defines a couple relationship.
And, just as there are messed up persons in this world who are heterosexual, married or not, so is the case in the homosexual world as well. Not much difference there. However, there are many of us that are monogamous, in committed, long term relationships, who are not unfaithful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God willing. Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do intimately if we were allowed to be married? If that were to sanction our committed relationship, then really, who would care how we conduct ourselves? And, for those that think that the institution of marriage will be ultimately destroyed, and the foundation of our society shattered if homosexual persons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that marriage could use some help these days? I mean, the most recent statistic is that almost half, if not half, of marriages end in divorce? How can we worsen those types of numbers? Isn’t it remotely possible that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?
I know some people, many people actually, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in households and communities and churches, that told them that being a homosexual was against God, unnatural, and an abomination, and who believed it for much of their lives. Some of those same people have had changes of hearts and minds over their lifetime, by realizing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist. I am so grateful for those persons in my life. I am so glad to know that instead of bringing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appreciation, compassion and joy at who I genuinely am.
I am gay, I am worthy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.
Special note: I am deeply grateful to Vanessa for sharing as openly as she has here, and for Evita beautifully sharing her compassionate views on sexual orientation. It is with these conversations, that continued love and understanding can be more openly expressed in all aspects of our lives. Thank you, both of you, for being light and love in this world.