Instead of, Try

by Paula Pant on · 6 comments

Instead of:

  • Maxing out your credit cards as an indirect way of showing people you care about them.

Try:

  • Writing a heartfelt note telling someone you care about them. Pair it with a small token of thanks: freshly-baked cookies, for example, or a small toy for their pet.

Instead of:

  • Driving yourself crazy racing to holiday parties and reunions that you don't really want to attend.

Try:

  • Giving yourself a break. Say "no" to the invite, put on your fuzzy pajama slippers, and watch that romantic comedy you haven't had the time to see.

Instead of:

  • Giving money you can't afford to charity, out of a sense of guilt or a desire for tax reduction,

Try:

  • Becoming personally involved with a local cause. Bring balloons to child cancer survivors spending the holidays in the hospital. Visit an elderly person spending the holidays alone.

Instead of:

  • Giving your business associates grief about the fact that their report is a week late,

Try:

  • Giving them a break. They're under stress just as much as you are – maybe more.

Instead of:

  • Giving someone a handout,

Try:

  • Giving them mentoring, encouragement, and advice so they can develop the confidence to succeed on their own.

Instead of:

  • Giving your neighbor, your grocery store clerk, or your local gas station attendant a polite nod with limited eye contact

Try:

  • Giving that person a hearty smile, direct eye contact, and a heartfelt inquiry into how their day is going.

Instead of:

  • Giving an anonymous blogger grief for their political or religious opinions,

Try:

  • Seeing the world from their point of view, if only for a minute.

Instead of:

  • Giving resentment to someone who wronged you,

Try:

  • Giving that person the benefit of the doubt.

Instead of:

  • Giving your attention only to the people, places and causes that are most familiar to you,

Try:

  • Giving yourself the joy of experiencing something new and different.

 

by Paula Pant

Thanks to wise money managing, Paula Pant has traveled to 27 countries, purchased a 99-year-old Victorian home near central Atlanta’s most beautiful park, and has never — ever — had a penny in debt. Her blog, Afford Anything, is based on one radical idea: money should never hinder your dreams.
Paula Pant
View all posts by Paula Pant
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebecca December 16, 2011 at 11:18 am

Sage and thought-inspiring words. Thank you for this.

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Joe @ shakeoffthegrind December 16, 2011 at 11:26 am

Great wisdom to take toward the holiday season. These are all ways of living that can provide mutual benefit to those involved. I have learned that when I hold back judgement, try to understand someone else’s point of view, and seek to help others it is a blessing for both parties. Thanks!
Joe @ shakeoffthegrind´s Last Fabulous Post ..How Positive Psychology can help us Embrace the Hopeful Message of ChristmasMy Profile

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Jody - Fit at 54 December 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Says it all – Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jody – Fit at 54´s Last Fabulous Post ..Gingerbread Protein Pancakes; Travel GadgetsMy Profile

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Noel December 16, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Hi Paula, I resonates so much to “instead of giv­ing some­one a handout, guide them to succeed on their own”. I’m helping my depression friend to settle most of her daily stuff, but may be I should just accompany her and encourage her to do it herself. May be this is better in helping her to be independent. Thanks Paula~
Noel´s Last Fabulous Post ..Inspirational EcardsMy Profile

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Becky P December 23, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Wonderful food for thought this holiday season – and every day. Thanks for sharing.

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Alex Aguilar December 25, 2011 at 12:10 am

A lovely post with some great advice – unfortunately if everyone actually followed your recommendation to not max out their credit cards this Christmas and give cookies instead, America’s retail economy would collapse overnight!

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