When you buy something online, during the checkout process, there is almost always a checkbox with an invitation to receive promotional emails of some sort. Sometimes you have to check the box to get the emails. Other sites have pre-checked the box for you, automatically assuming that you want their stuff. If you don’t, you physically have to uncheck the box — or opt-out — yourself.
If you’re not paying attention, you could end up getting a bunch of stuff you didn’t really want.
Too many people live life with their checkboxes pre-checked.
Every society has certain norms about how one is supposed to navigate through life. Here are a few that are pretty standard in America these days:
- You work a job you only kinda like — if you’re lucky — and then get to do what you really want when you retire.
- You always take the promotion.
- You should live together before you get married.
- A household needs two incomes in order to survive.
- A family must have two cars.
- You have your babies in a hospital.
- When they are four or five, you send them to school.
- Your kids should be involved in as many extra curricular activities as possible as early as possible. (If you want them to be well-adjusted and get into good schools, that is.)
- Your family room should be centered around a television.
- You of course subscribe to cable.
- You carry a monthly balance on your credit card.
Interestingly, most of the norms above only became norms within the past 50-100 years. Which makes it all the more peculiar that we are so quick to follow them. "The way we do things" hasn't always been the way we've done things. And yet, many people go through life with these “checkboxes” pre-selected.
It’s time to opt-out.
Opt-out of all the preconceived notions, assumptions, and stereotypes. Then mindfully choose what’s best for you.
Just because everyone around you is running around like chickens with their heads cut off, overcommitted, overwhelmed, and financially overextended doesn’t mean you have to be, too. Just like online, if you don’t pay attention to what you’re signing up for (and why), you could end up with a life flooded with things you don’t want. Things like stress, debt, and regret.
Of course, opting-out requires a fair measure of thought. You have to think: is this what I really want? Were did this norm come from? What are the pros and cons of sticking with it or ignoring it? Are there any alternatives?
On top of the heavy thinking, opting-out requires faith and courage as well.
It’s not my job or my aim to tell you WHAT to choose. I just want you to be intentional about your choosing. Your life doesn’t have to stick to the same standard plot as everyone else. In the end, you may end up choosing to keep many of the things the same. But at least the decisions are yours, and not anyone else’s.
In the end, that’s what leads to a rewarding life filled with meaning and adventure. And keeps you from getting a flood of stuff you never signed up for.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
fantastic!
what a brilliant way to put it.
opting out, indeed:)
thanks for the sweet inspire,
Jennifer
Jennifer Richardson´s Last Fabulous Post ..my wild and precious yes…
Thanks Jennifer! Sometimes it’s all about reframing an issue in order to think about it in a new way 🙂
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Time to Get Wild
love the way you put this!!
growing up in the midwest in the 60’s, my boxes were checked before i was even born! it does take a lot of courage to part from the norm. i have been working hard my whole adult life to uncheck my boxes!
It does take a lot of courage, Kathryn! Good for you for being brave enough to do some unchecking!
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Ding Dong Ditch 2.0
I find the downshifting phenomenon (people voluntarily ‘reducing’ their lifestyles) very encouraging. Lots of people are opting out of the lunacy – don’t expect to hear much about it in the mainstream media though.
Evan´s Last Fabulous Post ..Twelve Tins – a survivor’s story
No, not when we measure the health of our economy by how much stuff people are buying…
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Time to Get Wild
This is great!! I always try to ask myself whether I actually need something or whether society makes me think I need it. I’m so glad that I’m not alone and that other people are spreading the message. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in the fight Jason.
Bloom´s Last Fabulous Post ..Day 29: Define Happiness for yourself.
Hey Bloom — thanks! I’m happy to know that I’m not alone, either 🙂
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mustache Straws Make Everything Better
Hi Jason,
Love this. This one is great Your kids should be involved in as many extra curricular activities as possible as early as possible. (If you want them to be well-adjusted and get into good schools, that is.)
I see my kidsdoing this with their kids and think to myself, by the time these kids are old enough for actives, the parent is going to be so burnt out carting them around. ‘Good luck with that.’
And by the way when it comes to putting them in school, my grand kids are starting that at the age of 3 now. Poor kids don’t have time to be kids.
Actural I can say that I have opted out to most of this. I do have cable TV but my world does not revolve around it. I like the music station. (No adverstsing) and we only have 1 TV in the house.
Thanks again this post is great!
debbie
Debbie@happymaker´s Last Fabulous Post ..How to Build a Wonderful Relationships With Your Kids
Debbie, thanks for the comment. Totally agree with your assessment that kids don’t have time to be kids. Sadly, it’s very true!
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mustache Straws Make Everything Better
I love that Jason. Opt out! When we think for ourselves, invariably, we find that we are able to make decisions and choices from truth. We are able to avail ourselves of subtle powers of the mind that give us new means of achieving our dreams.
rob white´s Last Fabulous Post ..How soon will the money come pouring in?
Indeed, Rob!
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Time to Get Wild
Really interesting and inspirational thoughts, thanks for sharing them! I really like your point on the pre-checked checkboxes, I totally agree, most of us do it that way. And it can mislead us really often.
I blame EULAs for this. You know, those lengthy End User License Agreements that comes with any new software you install on your computer? Massive walls of incomprehensible legalese no one in their right minds would ever want to read, let alone understand. We all simply click “I Agree” and move on with our lives. I know you’re supposed to ‘read the fine print,’ but who really the time and patience to do that, other than the lawyers and accountants who are paid to do so.
You’ve got a great point there, Alex. The problem is that even if you took the time to read it, who would understand it??? Besides the lawyers and accountants you mentioned…
Jason of Kim & Jason´s Last Fabulous Post ..Does Your Car Have a Kite Compartment?