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Life, Reflection, and Cancer

“Heal­ing may not be so much about get­ting bet­ter, as about let­ting go of every­thing that isn’t you — all of the expec­ta­tions, all of the beliefs — and becom­ing who you are.” ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

Today, I would like to intro­duce Gail Konop Baker.   Gail and I crossed paths recently.  In that cross­ing, I expe­ri­enced both her gen­er­ous heart and a bit of her “story”.  Her story is one of chal­lenge, of hope, and of a real­iza­tion of what truly mat­ters in life.  In her early for­ties, Gail was diag­nosed with breast can­cer.  From that, she has built her­self back up.  In that process, and as part of the jour­nals she kept dur­ing those days — a book, Can­cer Is A Bitch, was written.

As you think about your life, and wher­ever you are in that…read along as you expe­ri­ence part of Gail’s life. We never know what fully lies in front of us…

1. Tell us a lit­tle bit about who “you” are (fam­ily, career, any spe­cial life expe­ri­ences you’d like to share, etc.)
Who am I? That is an excel­lent ques­tion and one that I pon­der daily.  Some­times hourly. Who I am has evolved and is evolv­ing over time. Con­stants? I am a mother of three totally kick-ass chil­dren, a writer and a pas­sion­ate and curi­ous seeker. Things that have evolved in the past few years? I am a pub­lished author, pro­fes­sional speaker and marathon run­ner.  Things still evolv­ing? I am a yoga teacher-in-training and on a per­pet­ual jour­ney to dis­cover who I want to be.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: My daugh­ter and I were recently in NYC.  We saw a sign in Times Square, with those words…“Kick Ass”.  She took a pic­ture and made it her phone’s background.…(it didn’t last!!). 

2.  You have writ­ten a book about your bat­tle with can­cer.  Tell us about that process, and what it has meant for you per­son­ally.
I never planned to write a breast can­cer mem­oir. I never planned to get the can­cer that would prompt that. But in 2006 after just com­plet­ing my sec­ond novel about a woman who finds a lump in her breast and thinks she might have breast can­cer and won­ders if she’s lived a mean­ing­ful life, I went in for my annual mam­mo­gram and was diag­nosed with duc­tal car­ci­noma in situ and a week later had a lumpectomy.

It rocked my world. Stunned and pan­icked and par­a­lyzed me. And even after I was told it was non-invasive and they got it all out and I was “cured,” I fell into a funk. I couldn’t write, couldn’t think, couldn’t do any­thing other than Google health sites and make home­made batches of organic facial creams and scrib­ble my deep­est rawest cra­zi­est most inti­mate thoughts into a journal.

I never planned to show those words to any­one. In fact I wrote them think­ing this was a way I didn’t have to bur­den my friends and fam­ily with my crazy thoughts. Nobody I was close to had ever had can­cer. Not my par­ents. None of my friends. And while I knew they cared, I felt alone in my deep­est thoughts and fears. Even­tu­ally I wrote those thoughts into an essay that I called “CANCER IS A BITCH” and sent it to some trusted writer friends who said it was the most pow­er­ful thing I’d ever writ­ten. But lose the word, bitch, they both said. Nobody will ever pub­lish like that.

Hon­estly, I didn’t know what I had writ­ten or what to do with it. But soon after that I read that Lit­er­ary Mama was look­ing for colum­nists and on a whim I pitched it as a col­umn and they offered me a monthly col­umn. The responses from read­ers were so soul­ful, I was floored. Many hadn’t even had can­cer but they either knew some­one who had or just responded to the midlife issues that I wrote about. Issues like what it meant to reach midlife and won­der if this was the life I meant to live, if I was the per­son I’d always meant to be. Next thing I knew I pitched the idea of writ­ing it into a book to a lit agent and he offered to rep­re­sent me and sold it.

But what I was writ­ing and think­ing about evolved over time. At first I thought I was try­ing to record my thoughts and feel­ings as openly and hon­estly and deeply as pos­si­ble. But after I started con­nect­ing with read­ers, I dis­cov­ered the more open I was about all aspects of my life, the more uni­ver­sal my mes­sage. Peo­ple responded to my hon­esty, which, in turn, inspired me to share more of me.

The other major inci­dent was that a good friend of mine was diag­nosed with stage IV colon can­cer and another neigh­bor with a stage IV brain tumor, both middle-aged. Both were also moth­ers of chil­dren still at home. At that point, my story evolved into a big­ger story. I felt this con­nec­tion to them (even though I was “cured”). And then beyond that a kind of col­lec­tive grief. I wanted to speak about can­cer in order to try to de-stigmatize it. I do believe that can­cer is one of the last stand­ing taboos. You say the word and lot of peo­ple wince and phys­i­cally back off. I wanted to give voice to that. To stand in sol­i­dar­ity with those who had been pierced by cancer’s insid­i­ous claw.

More than four years have past since my surgery and the whole expe­ri­ence is start­ing to fade, other than the fact that I wrote a book about it and still speak and talk about it when peo­ple ask, and the pro­found life-altering effect, I have in many ways left the trauma behind and moved on.

Lance’s Com­men­tary:  
Writ­ing can be ther­a­peu­tic.  As I read your thoughts, I’m reminded of how true this is.  Some­times, a pen and paper can offer so much healing…

3.  “Can­cer is a Bitch”…the title of your book – gives the first impres­sion that pretty much can­cer is a real evil.  Could you describe what inspired the title, and what the real mean­ing behind this book is.
As I said ear­lier, I orig­i­nally wrote an essay inspired by the jour­nals and the first line of the essay was “I am sit­ting top­less in the oncologist’s office on Valentine’s Day. Can­cer is a Bitch.”  I guess I meant that can­cer is too force­ful, it backs you into a wall, it sits on top of you, crush­ing your ster­num, it doesn’t let you say uncle, it doesn’t back down. At least that’s how hear­ing those words felt to me ini­tially. I thought the title would be changed before pub­li­ca­tion, they usu­ally are. It is a lit­tle hard to roll off your tongue espe­cially in social gath­er­ings; I cleared an adult table at a Bar Mitz­vah once. And of course all my 12 year-old son’s friends wanted a copy of it and I wor­ried social ser­vices might come and take me away. But I do think the title cap­tures the sassy, edgy, humor­ous tone of the book.
 
The real mean­ing of the book is that fac­ing my mor­tal­ity at such a young age forced me into a midlife reck­on­ing with myself and inspired me to take charge of my life. And even­tu­ally soar (well, I’m start­ing to soar). I hope the mes­sage peo­ple walk away with is that if or when you get smacked down by a bitch (like can­cer or divorce, or an acci­dent, or los­ing a job, or any other unex­pected tragedy), go ahead and wal­low and go a lit­tle nutty and then you can pick your­self up, dust your­self off and do and be exactly what you want to do and be. Fewer “whys,” more “why nots.” No excuses. No apolo­gies.

Lance’s Com­men­tary:
Gail, this is a pow­er­ful exam­ple of just how much we value heart­felt hon­esty.  I can’t imag­ine what it must be like to hear those words…the words spo­ken to you, telling you that YOU have can­cer.  Yet, in your shar­ing of all of this, I think there’s this deeper part of all of us — that of how we con­nect with car­ing and hon­esty.
 
4.  Since writ­ing the book what has this meant for you both per­son­ally and pro­fes­sion­ally?
Pro­fes­sion­ally? The book launched my writ­ing career.  I had been writ­ing for more than 20 years and while I’d had some minor suc­cess pub­lish­ing in small jour­nals and win­ning some awards, I hadn’t pub­lished a book. While on the road pro­mot­ing it, I dis­cov­ered I enjoyed speak­ing to audi­ences and that launched my pub­lic speak­ing career.

Per­son­ally? The scare and pro­mot­ing the book inspired me to take even bet­ter care of myself.  Since the scare I have run two half marathons and one full marathon, started my yoga teacher train­ing, detoxed my diet and look and feel bet­ter than I did in my thir­ties. I also detoxed my life. I decided now was the time to live exactly the way I’d always imagined.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: I love that you’ve found good out of this!  Can­cer is a nasty thing (a bitch, I sup­pose…).  And from this, I get a real sense that it has helped to pro­pel you into some won­der­ful direc­tions in your life.  It’s so good to hear the pos­i­tive that has come from a very chal­leng­ing moment in life. 

5. Tell us one unex­pected thing that has hap­pened since writ­ing your book.
I think dis­cov­er­ing what a shame­less ham I am in front of audi­ences really sur­prised me. Not much intim­i­dates or scares me anymore.

6. Gail, what does a typ­i­cal day look like for you?
I wake around 6:30 a.m. do 10 min­utes of med­i­ta­tion start­ing with a devo­tion of grat­i­tude. I then do 10–15 min­utes of yoga just to get the bod­ily juices flow­ing.  Stand on my head to both reverse grav­ity and get some blood in there. I wake him between med­i­ta­tion and yoga and then go down and let the dogs out and feed them (two yel­low labs). Then I squeeze a fresh lemon into a glass of water and make cof­fee and break­fast, drive my son to school. When I am in focused writ­ing mode (like I have been recently try­ing to fin­ish up a new book pro­posal), I try not to get sucked into the inter­net world that likes to seduce me. Instead, I dive straight into what­ever I was work­ing on the pre­vi­ous day, before any­thing inter­rupts my brain flow. Two hours min­i­mum. My reward after that is the inter­net. Face­book is my crack! I answer any press­ing e-mails and make a list of prac­ti­cal things I have to do. After that it’s either a run or yoga or on very stress­ful days, both! Shower and then either more writ­ing or errands or dri­ving the car­pool. Or all three! When I am pro­mot­ing or giv­ing a speech, the day is entirely dif­fer­ent. For speak­ing it’s all about the hair and out­fit (kid­ding… sort of!) and for inter­views it’s all about mak­ing the same thing I have said many times sound fresh and inter­est­ing. I don’t like to rehearse too much for speak­ing or inter­views since I have dis­cov­ered that I oper­ate bet­ter off the cuff.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: I find exer­cise to be so good, and for much more than the phys­i­cal ben­e­fits that really took me down that road.  And — I’m doing my first marathon this year!  So…a typ­i­cal day for me…involves run­ning (kidding…sort of!!).  We should have cof­fee someday!

7. Any­thing new you have com­ing up?
Yes, I am work­ing on a new book that I am very excited about. The topic is mar­riage. It promises to be very juicy and humor­ous and inspir­ing (at least that’s what I’m hoping).

Lance’s Com­men­tary: Mar­riage can def­i­nitely have some juicy and humor­ous moments…this sounds like a GREAT book!

8.  Deep down, what makes you uniquely “you”? 

I am quirky and curi­ous and very alive. It is hard for me to pre­dict exactly what or whom will turn me on but when I am turned on it’s like high volt­age energy gone wild.

Lance’s Com­men­tary: “Energy gone wild”!!!  Hey, now that’s a pump me up kind of moment!

Clos­ing Com­ments: Gail, it’s an honor hav­ing you here!  Your story is inspir­ing.  As I sit here, never hav­ing had cancer…I take this one really impor­tant thing from every­thing you’ve shared today.  NOW is impor­tant.  And am I truly liv­ing the life that I desire?  We never know when it could all change.  Thank you for shar­ing a bit of YOU here today!


You can keep up with Gail by vis­it­ing her web­site, and fol­low­ing her on Twit­ter.

UPDATE:  Inter­ested in read­ing Gail’s book?  Gail is offer­ing signed copies of “Can­cer Is A Bitch”.  If you’re inter­ested, please con­tact Gail, includ­ing your name and address.

Lance writes sto­ries from his heart, aim­ing to inspire and moti­vate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he’s not here, you can find him hang­ing out with his fam­ily, rid­ing a bike, or just gen­er­ally act­ing goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Tree­house newslet­ter and get addi­tional inspi­ra­tion in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
View all posts by Lance Ekum

Comments

  1. Jay says:

    Lance, thank you for intro­duc­ing me to Gail. This was inspi­ra­tional on a level that I can’t fully artic­u­late, but just know that it touched me deeply.

    Gail, thank you for shar­ing your story and being so open and hon­est with your feel­ings and thoughts. So many peo­ple let some­thing like that con­quer them, or break their spirit. Thank you for show­ing us that even some­thing as inher­ently evil as can­cer can be used as a spring­board to a bet­ter life.

  2. Lance and Gail, a post like this takes us to the deep­est depths of self-examination. When we put our­selves in some­one else’s sit­u­a­tion we feel their strug­gle, but we also feel their tri­umph. We dis­cover new rooms within, the doors of which are thrown open through there expe­ri­ences. This was heavy and free­ing and encour­ag­ing. Thank you both.
    .-= Jonathan — Advanced Life Skills´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..A Per­sonal Growth Les­son From A Lit­tle Bird =-.

  3. SnaggleTooth says:

    Great inter­view! Thanks for intro­duc­ing me to Gail n her work– I should prob read her stuff–
    I never use the big “C” word, as I’m try­ing not to break the spell that has so far spared me, but took both of my par­ents years too early. I know sev­eral peer women who’ve sur­vived n gone on to have good lives.
    A shame really it takes a mor­tal­ity cri­sis to awaken us !
    .-= SnaggleTooth´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Cove Col­ors =-.

  4. gail says:

    Wow! How fab­u­lous to wake up to so many great com­ments already! Thank you, Lance!!

    Jay, As much as I hate to say my health scare was a bless­ing or gift… the truth is, I AM liv­ing a bet­ter more authen­tic life now. It’s an evo­lu­tion­ary process but I am more present and grate­ful and fear­less. My hope is that when oth­ers read my story that they will be inspired to live their own lives more fully with­out hav­ing to live through the scare.

    You are so right, Jonathan.… love the doors within the doors. There is always more to expe­ri­ence, explore, dis­cover about our­selves and oth­ers, That’s what makes life so won­drous and grand (even when we’re struggling).

    Snag­gle­Tooth, I think a lot of peo­ple are afraid of the word and read­ing or talk­ing about it. That was a huge inspi­ra­tion for me to talk about it openly. I think it is one of the last stand­ing taboos. And while my scare was very mild, I stand in sol­i­dar­ity with all who have felt ostra­cized or feared or avoided because of this disease.

  5. Tim says:

    Hi Lance and Gail: It was great to read this inter­view, very touch­ing and inspi­ra­tional. Gail, I admire you for get­ting back up after get­ting smacked down. It is a les­son that all of us, no mat­ter what smacks us down, can get back up and live bet­ter and smarter than we did before. Its also great to learn that you feel bet­ter and health­ier than you did in your 30’s. Lance, thank you for intro­duc­ing us to Gail’s story…its a great way to start the week.
    .-= Tim´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Week­end Musi­cal Diver­sion: John Lee Hooker and San­tana =-.

  6. Karen Carter says:

    Gail, you’re an inspi­ra­tion for all of us. I’m with Tim, the mes­sage that one can endure with the right atti­tude and a lot of deter­mi­na­tion rings so true and is so impor­tant to share. Thanks for all you do! K.
    .-= Karen Carter´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Beyond FACTS: Heidi Dur­row: Mixed Race Peo­ple His­tory Month =-.

  7. Lynn says:

    Gail — I’m glad you are doing so well and can inspire oth­ers now.
    .-= Lynn´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Orchard, favorites and catch­ing up =-.

  8. gail says:

    yes, Tim. I am soo much health­ier and more youth­ful and ener­getic than I was in my 30’s. I could kick my 30 year-old self’s ass now.… with my eyes closed! Thanks for com­ment­ing. Checked out your blog, very nice!

    Hi Karen! Thanks for the com­ment. I do think any­thing that poses a chal­lenge pushes us to be stronger and more resource­ful and resilient.

  9. gail says:

    thanks for the com­ment, Lynn. I am 200% recov­ered and ded­i­cated to inspir­ing oth­ers in any way I can.

  10. Audra Krell says:

    As a new writer, I enjoyed this very much. I liked read­ing about your daily rou­tine, the launch of your speak­ing career and how you man­age life out­side of writ­ing. I’ll be 40 next week and hope that soon I too will say, I could kick my 20 year old self’s butt any day! Here’s to a lot more “why nots!”

  11. Farnoosh says:

    Gail, what a brave woman you are and what an inspi­ra­tion. I have had expe­ri­ence with can­cer through a loved one and have no idea where the strength emerges for the can­cer patient to pull through and sur­vive. And I think the book’s title is JUST FINE :) ! Thank you for writing.

  12. Gails sounds like some­one I would like to hang out with. I love high energy peo­ple. I think Gail’s dis­cov­ered the hid­den secret to great writ­ing. Write so hon­estly that it scares even the writer. Good luck on your next book.

    I agree with Farnoosh. I like the book title. It tells it all.

  13. Natalia says:

    Gail thanks for shar­ing! Lance, thanks for hav­ing her on your blog. Will def­i­nitely be check­ing out her book.

  14. gail says:

    hey Farnoosh, Karl and Natalia! Thanks for the com­ments. Glad the title is work­ing for you guys.
    any­one inter­ested in a per­son­ally signed copy, drop me an e-mail.

  15. Cheryl Paris says:

    Hi Lance and Gail,

    Very inspir­ing and moti­vat­ing. Yes, “C” word can bring one down… but it all depends on us how we turn tables on “C” right!
    I am glad to have sub­scribed to Lance’s work and I get to meet inspir­ing and true people.

    Cheers!
    Cheryl Paris
    The Acorn Coach Blog
    .-= Cheryl Paris´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..How to Live With­out Regret and Stay Sane =-.

  16. Lance says:

    @Jay — Hi Jay! What I really loved about this WAS exactly that — the spirit with which Gail came through this with. And that’s not to say it’s all rosy — as I’m sure there very much were moment that chal­lenged her to her core. Yet, it’s just so good to see where Gail is today — and what her atti­tude toward life has done to bring her to where she is today!

    @Jonathan — Hi Jonathan! I think that’s it, too. Gail has shared very openly what this was like. And in that, we con­nect — both with the chal­lenges, and with the successes.

    @SnaggleTooth — Hey Snag­gle! Can­cer is one of those things that can strike and be a set­back, or strike and be some­thing much worse. When that hap­pens early in life — that’s even harder. I’m sorry to hear about your par­ents. That has to be so dif­fi­cult. Def­i­nitely, Gail’s book is so worth check­ing out.

    @Gail — Hi Gail!!

    @Tim — Hey Tim! It hap­pens to all of us.…life does smack us all down. Some­times worse than oth­ers. Still, we always have a choice in how we respond to that. I love how Gail has responded to a can­cer diag­no­sis, and how that has also helped to pro­pel her to even greater ways of car­ing for her­self. Awesome!!

    @Karen — Hi Karen! Yes, Gail IS def­i­nitely an inspi­ra­tion! And it’s such a great reminder for all of the bat­tles we face, just how impor­tant our atti­tude is in get­ting beyond these.

    @Lynn — Hi Lynn! Gail shines! And that’s evi­dent right in her pic­ture, too — and that won­der­ful smile she exudes…one that feels like it comes from deep within!

    @Gail — Mmmmm.…coffeee.…

    @Audra — Hey Audra!! Some­body has a birth­day com­ing up!!!! (wooHoo!!!) I’m excited for YOU!! And…if you’re kick­ing your own 20 yr old self’s butt.…hmmm.…I won­der what you would do to me???? (yikes!!) (HAHAHA!!!)

    @Farnoosh — Hi Farnoosh!! It really does have to take a lot of inter­nal strength, and sup­port. Still, there are prob­a­bly moments that can feel pretty “alone” too. And that’s where a book like what Gail has writ­ten can be so good (whether we are deal­ing with can­cer, or just life in gen­eral) — it’s a com­pan­ion to remind us we’re not alone on this road we’re trav­el­ing. And — I’m with you, too — the book title is all sorts of awesome!

    @Karl — Hey Karl!! High energy!! Mmmm.…that sure sounds fit­ting for Gail! And — this whole idea of hon­esty in our writ­ing — or really, writ­ing what’s com­ing from our heart — this is what peo­ple con­nect to.

    @Natalia — Hi Natalia!! Thanks for being here! And — you can get an even bet­ter feel for the book, and for Gail, by vis­it­ing her website.

    @Gail — Hmmm.…I should prob­a­bly look for those run­ning shoes of mine…

    @Cheryl — Hi Cheryl!! We may not be able to change the out­come of what can­cer is doing to us — we can always choose the atti­tude we’ll have in deal­ing with it (or any other “set­back” life sends our way). And…you’ve nailed it — Gail is truly an inspir­ing person!!

  17. gail says:

    Hi Cheryl Paris,
    Thanks for you comment!

    And Lance! Thanks again for the the inter­view.. so glad we “met” (on Twit­ter!). You have a fab­u­lous blog that I have book­marked now!

  18. J.D. Meier says:

    Lance — you always add great com­men­tary with a nice twist of perspective.

    Gail — you have an inspir­ing story and it’s a great exam­ple that it’s not what’s on our plate, it’s how we eat it that makes the dif­fer­ence. I’m curi­ous if you feel “on path” now or still search­ing for your path … and whether you learned any­thing that sur­prised you about how to eat bet­ter?
    .-= J.D. Meier´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Why We Make Bad Deci­sions – Errors in Odds and Errors in Value =-.

  19. Evita says:

    Hi Gail

    It was good to hear a bit of your story Gail. It is always incred­i­ble what peo­ple are faced with and see how they over­come it. We are amaz­ing, amaz­ing beings. And although this may not be the right time to say — “every­thing hap­pens for a rea­son” — I would be lying if I said I didn’t believe that.

    You have awoken, evolved into a new ver­sion of you. You have begun to see life dif­fer­ently. And with all these beau­ti­ful gifts you are now shar­ing and help­ing other peo­ple in so many ways.

    May you always be blessed and have much to hold in those grat­i­tude sessions.

    And to you Lance, thank you for another beau­ti­fully inspir­ing and mov­ing story.
    .-= Evita´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Old Jour­neys End With New Pri­or­i­ties =-.

  20. brandi says:

    Gail, I am so deeply touched by your story and your mis­sion.…
    .-= brandi´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..life. =-.

  21. Keith says:

    Hello Gail and Lance,

    Thank­fully, I’ve never had can­cer but your story touches me deeply nonethe­less. About three years ago my mother was diag­nosed with can­cer (lym­phoma). As I watched her bat­tle through surgery, chemo ther­apy (los­ing all of her hair) and radi­a­tion, I was amazed at her strength, her deter­mi­na­tion to sur­vive. She had some very, very bad times but she beat it and came out on the other side full of life and gratitude.

    Evita is so right, we are amaz­ing beings! Thank you , Gail, for shar­ing your story with us. Thank you Lance for hav­ing Gail as your hon­ored guest. :-)

    Bless­ings to you both

  22. gail says:

    J.D., I do feel “on path.” Although “on path” might sug­gest some­thing with­out all the sharp turns and detours and gnarly roots and absolutely unex­pected, raw, stun­ning moments of truth and beauty I have encoun­tered on the path I am on.

    Thanks Evita and Brandi, for your kind words. It is beyond amaz­ing to be touch peo­ple with my words and expe­ri­ence. Means every­thing to me.…

    Thanks for shar­ing your story about your mother, Keith. I am glad to hear she “came out the other side full of life and grat­i­tude.” That’s beautiful.

  23. Lance says:

    @Gail — I LOVE that about Twitter…what a great way of really con­nect­ing it can be, if we’re open to shar­ing back and forth. Your thoughts and tips on NYC were awe­some!! And…because of your mak­ing that con­nec­tion with me, I have the won­der­ful oppor­tu­nity to have you here today!! And that is very cool (…and even…Kick Ass!).

    @J.D. Meier — Hey JD! Adding my lit­tle bit of com­men­tary is so fun for me — so, glad to hear you enjoyed it too!! And — Gail’s story is just so inspiring!

    @Evita — Hi Evita!! We really are amaz­ing beings (that is so well said!)!! This idea of “every­thing hap­pens for a reason”…I know I have cer­tainly ques­tioned this in my life. Maybe with the word “why?”, or “why me?”, or “not again”, or …(it’s easy for us to feel sorry for our­selves). Today, I DO look at life and say this (mostly). Aha…there I go qual­i­fy­ing it, don’t I? It’s all part of the jour­ney, I guess. And per­haps every­thing does hap­pen for a rea­son. (I’m sure this sounds like it’s com­ing off a bit as dis­agree­ing with you.…when in real­ity, I almost com­pletely agree). Any­way, Evita — I just want you to know how much I value your thoughts. They always take me deeper within myself — and think about what some of these things mean to me. Thank you so much for all of this you have shared.

    @Brandi — Hi Brandi. What Gail shares is so filled with good. Thanks so much for being here today.…

    @Keith — Hi Keith. I’m sure these were try­ing days — for every­one in your fam­ily — while your mother was suf­fer­ing. And yet — to see she has come out, and is see­ing the beauty of life.…wow!! Thanks so much for shar­ing this, Keith. Many bless­ing to you, my friend…

    @Gail — Have a GREAT evening Gail!! Your words here today con­tinue to inspire me!

  24. Joy says:

    Lance,
    Thank you once again for open­ing your space to such inspiration!

    Gail,
    As I read the first time, tears trick­led down. The sec­ond time, my pre­dom­i­nant thought is just “I Love You, and thank you for writ­ing your book and shar­ing your story”.
    Last Fall I was diag­nosed with stage III cer­vi­cal cancer…I am quite bold in nature, quite pos­i­tive in essence, so I knew the expe­ri­ence would unfold as it was meant to. What I didn’t know was that even just the word can­cer would put a bar­rier between even my clos­est friends and myself…as if it’s con­ta­gious or dirty or some­thing neg­a­tive that infects every­one. Iso­lat­ing. A bitch as you say. But, I am the sin­gle mom of two pre­cious chil­dren so I plugged through the most unfa­mil­iar and I am a healer so I went to work heal­ing myself/allowing myself to be healed. Life chang­ing. On all lev­els. It’s not an evil to fear, it’s a bunch of cells formed to raise aware­ness that we then share with those around us. My smile is more radi­ant than ever–not from radi­a­tion, which I thank­fully avoided, but from the inner peace I’ve found by allow­ing Faith to trump Fear. I am most excited to read your book, and I am very thank­ful that you chose to share your story with us here.…thank you! May every­one who reads your words be most thank­ful for the good in their life and then be will­ing to embrace each moment as fully as they are capa­ble of.….
    Much peace.…

  25. Hilary says:

    Hi Lance and Gail .. that was so touch­ing, amaz­ing and inter­est­ing .. we just don’t know, as you both say we need to do the best for us NOW .. to ensure we have the best health pos­si­ble, the best atti­tude pos­si­ble should chal­lenges occur.

    A lit­tle like you .. I’ve learnt so much from being around hos­pi­tals, or nurs­ing cen­tres, or hos­pices in the last 3+ years from two elderly .. who have lived their lives .. but oth­ers there haven’t … and I’ve remained friends with them — it’s a tremen­dous priv­eleged expe­ri­ence that I wouldn’t have missed .. how­ever painful it’s been — just being the daugh­ter of a mother still alive after 3+ years of being badly stroked and an uncle whose can­cer was trig­gered quite sud­denly and his death. I still learn .. and I learn as I read posts like this — thank you both .. sad to think of friends, fam­ily and peo­ple expe­ri­enc­ing these dilem­mas but uplift­ing as to how we cope & the real­i­sa­tion comes later about choices both in life and death. This was amaz­ing .. thank you — Hilary
    .-= Hilary´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..The Silent Pianist Speaks … =-.

  26. Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord says:

    Hi, Gail & Lance! What an extra­or­di­nary interview.

    Gail, when I read your words, I don’t get a sense that you’re the kind of woman for whom much could get in the way of forg­ing ahead. You seem very pow­er­ful to me, and delib­er­ate. And while per­haps your expe­ri­ence with can­cer brought that to the sur­face, I have to imag­ine that’s an energy you’ve always carried.

    I loved read­ing this inter­view, not only for the inspi­ra­tion your words, them­selves, directly shared, but for the oppor­tu­nity you gave me to imag­ine how I’d react in a sim­i­lar sce­nario. Could I be as strong? Could I rope-tie my dreams the way you’re doing now? And bet­ter yet: could I emu­late the energy I sense from you in my life the way it is now? With­out any sort of crit­i­cal prompt?

    Man I hope so, because you really do ener­gize my heart and mind, Gail!

    Lance, thank you for another won­der­ful inter­view. You know the coolest people!

  27. gail says:

    wow, Joy. I am both touched and hum­bled by your com­ment! Thank you. I am very happy to hear you are healed. Much peace to you also.

    Thank you Hilary for your kind words.

    Joy­Girl, it ener­gizes my heart and mind to hear I ener­gize your heart and mind. So thanks for start­ing my day off on such great energy!

  28. Lance and Gail,
    This inter­view is awe­some! Gail your life energy is in every word. What an incred­i­ble writer you are. You sound like a neigh­bor I’d like to run into every­day with a cup of cof­fee in my hand for you and one for me too!

    Who doesn’t need a fun and wild book on mar­riage! LOL

    Life is pre­cious and it’s been great get­ting to know you and what a price­less mes­sage you have for the world. Wish­ing you the best on all your work and play. The world needs a big dose of “Gail energy gone wild!”

  29. Vanessa says:

    Lance, and Gail:

    Thank you so much for this Lance; for giv­ing Gail this venue to shine, and Gail, for giv­ing your part of the jour­ney a voice for all to hear, and to respond to. SO many parts of your story speak to me, but most of all is your desire to speak truth; to be on high volt­age, and to kick ass, all things that I do and when I am not so good at it, keep trying.……thank you for shar­ing, and I will def­i­nitely be vis­it­ing your site!!! Peace and love to you, Vanessa
    .-= Vanessa´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Death, loss, grief. =-.

  30. AVT Coach says:

    I see you are still writ­ing and post­ing a qual­ity blog, shar­ing what really mat­ters in the Jun­gle of Life. Kudos for your per­se­ver­ance and growth. It is always a gift to visit.
    .-= AVT Coach´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..How To Be A Bless­ing =-.

  31. Lance says:

    @Joy — Hi Joy. Your words are touch­ing and sweet. And just think­ing about this…I won­der how I come across to those fac­ing some sort of “bad” in their life? This is one for me to think much more deeply about, and I thank you for that, Joy. And…your smile radi­ates! Much love to, sweet friend…

    @Hilary — Hi Hilary. Thanks so much for shar­ing a bit more about your jour­ney. I’m sure there have been moments over the last three year that have been chal­leng­ing for you. And yet…so much good, too…that has come from this. Thank you so much for this…

    @Megan — Hi Megan. I felt that very same thing — that Gail really has this energy at her core. And wow! That energy idea is one that I’m hold­ing onto right now…and let­ting that soak more into my soul. Oh…and I DO know the coolest people.…I know Gail … and I know YOU!!!! Dou­bly cool!!

    @Gail — Happy Wednes­day Gail!

    @Tess — Hi Tess. Gail’s energy reminds me of YOU…and the energy with which you live your life! And…fun and wild…and mar­riage: that sounds like a pretty great combo to me!!

    @Vanessa — Hi Vanessa. Speak­ing the truth can some­times be chal­leng­ing. Vanessa, I know that you know this. Some­times it comes out right…and some­times maybe we waver a bit. And it’s all okay…and all part of the jour­ney. And speak­ing of journey…I am so glad you’re along on this life jour­ney I’m on. Much love to you, dear friend…

    @AVT Coach — Hey, it’s great to see you!!! Thanks for pop­ping in! It’s a gift to have YOU here today!!

  32. gail says:

    thanks Tess! I love cof­fee (even though some peo­ple claim I don’t NEED any!). I’m per­son­ally send­ing you some Gail energy gone wild today!

    thanks Vanessa! I do believe liv­ing and speak­ing the truth is hard. But I try to walk the walk and talk the talk and live my truth as fully as pos­si­ble. And when I don’t… I feel the false­ness.… and that’s what gets me back on track.

    Hello AVT coach… thanks for read­ing com­ment­ing. Check­ing out your blog now!

    Thanks again, Lance!! You have quite the AMAZING fol­low­ing here!

  33. Hey, ass-kickers!! :)

    I did read this won­der­ful, fun, amaz­ing, inspir­ing, bitchin’ post yes­ter­day and have half a com­ment still in limbo on my iPhone — but here I am today on my Real Com­puter with maybe a WHOLE com­ment to leave.

    I think the title “Can­cer Is A Bitch” is EXCELLENT!! It shows humor, and we all can use humor in tough sit­u­a­tions — heck in ALL sit­u­a­tions. I WILL read the book!!! And maybe the mar­riage one too, sounds intrigu­ing. You com­ing to Austin, Gail, for a book singing. Or sign­ing?? :)

    And as to Inter­net dis­trac­tions, I want you to know,Gail, that because of your words on that, this morn­ing I went straight to my work, instead of to The Won­der­ful Pio­neer Woman blog I am addicted to. So off there I go now… And then to give Blue Bunny a new hat for his photo, and a hoe or rake he’s been beg­ging me for. :)

    xoxo
    .-= Jan­nie Funster´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..ME / CFS Phoenix Ris­ing Video =-.

  34. Always such inspi­ra­tional sto­ries on your site Lance! Thank you to Gail & you! It really makes you think why you are com­plain­ing about your own life!
    .-= Jody — Fit at 52´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Men­tal Mus­cle, Mind Over Mat­ter & Me Power =-.

  35. Hi Gail,

    I truly com­mend your courage and strength by shar­ing us your story Gail.
    I was for­tu­nate to become friends with a lady named San­dra Craw­ford because she too is a breast can­cer sur­vivor and wrote an amaz­ing book about her story.
    Her book was very emo­tional and allows the reader to “feel” her pain and tri­umphs along her jour­ney.
    You have great energy and zest for life Gail! :-)

    Here is the book that made me cry along the way by San­dra Crawford

    http://www.sandracrawford.com/index-2.html

    Thank you for invit­ing Gail so she can share her emo­tional and mov­ing expe­ri­ences Lance.
    .-= Vin­cent Nguyen´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Al Pacino’s Inspi­ra­tional Speech– How hun­gry are you for your suc­cess??? =-.

  36. JBR says:

    Wow, your post has touched deeply the soul of my being. Thank you for shar­ing the real­ness. Blessings.

  37. Lance says:

    @Gail — Ahhh.…we’re talk­ing cof­fee again. I think it’s time for another cup for ME today!!

    @Jannie — Hey ass-kicker friend!! Yes, we sure can all use some humor in our days — it just makes EVERYTHING a bit bet­ter. Book singing? Hey, this sounds inter­est­ing!! (and…goes well with the whole “keep Austin weird” theme!!) Speak­ing of that…is THAT what brought to you Austin-land??? You, Ms. Jan­nie, rock the weird…in some really amaz­ing and cool ways!!!!

    @Jody — Hi Jody! We can some­times let lit­tle things bug us. And the real truth is — there are a whole lot of peo­ple out there who are going through some­thing much worse…and see­ing some pos­i­tive in it. Gail shines this — tak­ing some­thing bad and turn­ing it into a good!!

    @Vincent — Hi Vin­cent. Thanks for shar­ing about your friend San­dra. These sto­ries, by the likes of Gail and San­dra, really spot­light what we CAN overcome…with a belief in our­self and a love for life!

    @JBR — Thanks so much for read­ing this, JBR. Gail speaks very much from her truth, and in that — the real­ness of her soul shines through!

  38. Sandy Salle says:

    What a mov­ing and inspi­ra­tional story! I think it is very brave of you to have shared your immense strug­gles with the world. I believe this inspires oth­ers who are going through sim­i­lar strug­gles to push through and adapt the same courage as you. Truly mov­ing. Thank you!

  39. Thank you for this inter­view. What really caught my eye was the remark ” be who you want to be.” This really empha­sizes the power of choice in deter­min­ing hap­pi­ness and out­come. In the cir­cum­stances described here, one could choose to wal­low per­pet­u­ally, ensur­ing that mis­ery is heaped upon the ill­ness. Or, one could choose to be as happy as pos­si­ble, despite the cir­cum­stances. It’s great to hear about peo­ple who’ve cho­sen the lat­ter path and who use the wis­dom gained from try­ing expe­ri­ences to take their lives to new heights. Thank you.
    .-= HappinessandWisdom´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Review of a big book about hap­pi­ness. =-.

  40. Lance says:

    @Sandy — Hi Sandy!! It’s hard for me to fully imag­ine what this must be like to go through. I do think it would be a chal­lenge to share this with the world — and yet, I have this deep feel­ing that Gail has found much peace from this whole process (as well as a way to really con­nect with other peo­ple in mean­ing­ful ways). Awesome…she is!!!

    @HappinessandWisdom — We can also choose our atti­tude, can’t we. And what a dif­fer­ence that can make — no mat­ter what the out­come of the [dis­ease, or what­ever else]. Gail has really found the upside in all of this — and it’s so refresh­ing to read! Thanks for being here!

  41. Elyse says:

    Hey Lance and Gail. That was a fan­tas­tic, inspir­ing inter­view. Thank you! I’m a reflex­ol­o­gist and I encounter can­cer quite often (both in my clinic and in my per­sonal life) and I’m always look­ing for places that my patients can find strength and moti­va­tion. “Can­cer is a Bitch” is going right up there. I’m glad I dis­cov­ered the jun­gle of life.

  42. Lance says:

    Elyse,
    It’s great to “meet” you!! Gail really is so inspir­ing, and I’m glad you saw that in her also. And what a gift you give in your work as a reflex­ol­o­gist!! Awesome!!

  43. Hi there. Thanks for shar­ing this with us. It’s very nice of you to gave us some­thing that we can read for our life reflec­tion.
    Andrew Walker´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Unique Golf­ing Expe­ri­ences in ArizonaMy Profile

Trackbacks

  1. […] I was first intro­duced to Gail and her health and well­ness jour­ney on The Jun­gle of Life, when writer, Lance Ekum inter­viewed Gail in a very heart warm­ing inter­view here: Life, Reflec­tion and Cancer. […]

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