Love Will Keep Us Together

by Jen Slayden on · 23 comments

Love keeps us together, right? But what happens when our society portrays love through perfection, wealth, lust, and greed? What do we teach our children about love? With a skewed definition in place, it is even more important to share with our family the true meaning of love: which encompasses hope, positive behavior, strength and giving unconditionally.

Sometimes to achieve the positive effects of an emotion, we must let go of other emotions that are taking up too much energy. So to let Love in, We must let other emotions OUT. This means getting rid of anger, guilt, resentment, and judgment.

L= Let Go of negative destructive emotions

1. Raise awareness of when you are putting yourself or others down

a. Carry a notebook for a day, and write down when a negative thought comes in

b. Carry a golf clicker and keep track

2. Notice where you are feeling these emotions in your body: your chest, shoulders, neck, stomach? Where do they seem to concentrate the most?

3. Breath….as you exhale, practice seeing those thoughts dissipate into thin air, as you inhale, practice replacing those emotions with a positive one, such as joy, happiness, love, life, forgiveness.

When we hold on to destructive emotions, we hold ourselves back from the many benefits of love. Let go of negative and destructive emotions. Let LOVE in.

O=Open your heart to new possibilities

1. Start with HOPE and let go of JUDGEMENT

One can be hopeful or judgmental, but you cannot be both at the same time!

2. Act like a kid. Kids don't think too much about going into new situations, they just go with the flow, open to any outcome because they don't have any preconceived ideas about how it is "supposed" to flow. Next time you enter a new situation, try to clear your mind and let whatever happens unfold without placing any undue expectation on the event. See what happens.

3. Recognize that opening up can be painful but also healing. Healing takes TIME

Open your heart to new possibilities. Let LOVE in.

V=Visualize

Healing just isn't going to happen without love. See yourself being loved. Take note of every source where you feel yourself being loved. See yourself being worthy of triple the love you currently feel.

There is almost always more love for us to encounter than we can ever imagine. Visualize love. Let LOVE in.

E=Educate yourself on Emotional Intelligence!

Emotional intelligence represents an ability to validly reason with emotions and to use emotions to enhance thought. We are not used to this in our society. Most of us were taught to suppress emotions at a young age, but educating yourself on how emotional intelligence can help you gain clarity and enhance emotions such as love.

EI has potential to bring in more love and meaning into our daily interactions at work, family, and in our community.

Educate yourself on Emotional Intelligence. Let LOVE in.

Love, the right kind of love, will not only bring us together. It will, indeed, keep us together. Let LOVE in.


by Jen Slayden

Jen Slayden finds her harmony in Western Montana with her husband Mark, their three kids, and an outdoor loving black lab named Cody. Stop by and check out her life in music, words, and education at Find Your Harmony.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Noel February 4, 2012 at 8:42 am

Love is not always “happily ever after”. It needs understanding, tolerance, patience and more. Indeed, it’s important to let the negative emotion out before it consumes more of our love. Whenever there’s an argument between me and my boyfriend, I used to take a step back, relax and think of the great things he’d done. Gratitude helps to turn things around as it is another form of letting love in. Thanks for the tips Jen~
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:35 am

Hi Noel,
I agree. Gratitude is a wonderful practice in letting go of the negative! Thanks for being here, and for lending your voice!
In Harmony,
Jen
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sheila February 4, 2012 at 8:52 am

Well….. I LOVEEEEEEEEEE this post! I just love every single thing about it! Great advice and I think the idea of the golf clicker is really, really good! Great stuff!
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:37 am

Hi Sheila,
Of COURSE the golf clicker would be great for you, with hubby in the “business:)” I’m not a golfer, but I am happy to find use for a golf clicker in other ways:)
Thanks for being here friend!
In Harmony,
Jen
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Betsy at Zen Mama February 4, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Beautiful post with advice that anyone can follow right away! Each point is so important, esp. letting of negative thought. I love the idea about emotional intelligences. That could be a post just by itself.
Great job Jen!
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:37 am

Hi Betsy,
I know you probably have learned so much about EI through teaching. It is really a great tool in many ways.
Thanks for your support, and for sharing this article as well!
IN Harmony,
Jen
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Bryan Thompson February 5, 2012 at 6:09 am

Hey Lance, I actually clicked on through your email about self-absorbed thoughts. I wanted to comment on that – because I’m working to make patience a top priority this month – but that leads me to this post…

I think these are all effective ideas buti really like the idea of visualizing. Seeing how you want your relationships to be can do tremendous good in your life. Hope you’re well.
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:39 am

Hi Bryan,
I’m so happy you stumbled upon my post:) Thanks for contributing, and I agree that visualization is a key tool for making many positive changes in one’s life.
In Harmony,
Jen

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Jody - Fit at 54 February 5, 2012 at 12:11 pm

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 AND, love that pic! I like how you used the letters so makes it easy to associate & remember!
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:40 am

Hi Jody,
Letters are so much easier for me these days as simple reminders!! And that picture was on Thanksgiving Day…a wonderful time with my family to remember LOVE and GRATITUDE! With 2 teens in the house now, we have to be silly or we will fall apart:)
Thanks for being here Jody!!
In Harmony,
Jen

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Jon Mertz February 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Excellent points for each letter… practical yet enlivening. Love, or the ability to love, can lose its grip on how we embrace it or embrace others, and all of these are great steps to take to ignite it. Thanks! Jon
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:41 am

Thank you Jon! Sure appreciate your contribution and that you are here to share with us:)
IN Harmony,
Jen
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Evan February 5, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Hi Jen, I’m not sure there are negative emotions – just emotion fuelled negative behaviour. Pretty much any emotion clung to can turn out to be negative. I do think they need to flow otherwise they get negative. For me it has helped to understand the reason I’m feeling a particular emotion.
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

Evan,
You raise a very valid point, and some food for thought! Thank you for pointing that out and adding your two cents. I am beginning to recognize in ALL aspects of life the “letting go” PERIOD is the most important part of living.
I appreciate you being here!
In Harmony,
Jen
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Chrysta Bairre February 6, 2012 at 7:17 am

I don’t find love requires unconditional giving, simply unconditional loving. To me this means I love someone for who they are, myself included, even when they act in a way I don’t like. This doesn’t mean I accept unacceptable behavior, and I can love and still establish loving boundaries that allow me to take care of myself.

What I appreciate about your article is you have laid out a method to practice mindful, healthy love, that does not require sacrifice from anyone, and instead focuses on openness and awareness.

Have a grateful day!

Chrysta
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Chrysta,
Thank you for your addition. It is important to recognize how easy it is to love when things are “agreeable” and more of a challenge to love when we don’t agree or don’t like the behavior…even with ourselves. Unconditional LOVING..yes!! It is tied very much with mindfulness.

I really appreciate your voice here Chrysta. Thank you!
In Harmony,
Jen
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Meg February 6, 2012 at 7:51 am

I love LOVE. and you nailed it. Let love in. It’s so important. I love the words of advice you offer in this post about loving. I hope people who have a hard time loving can read this and gain a new perspective. Thanks for being so great!
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Jen February 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

Meg,
Thank you for the kind words! What I write is NOT complicated. It is just that we all need reminders. This includes MYSELF:)

I hope you have a February filled with LOVE. (Stop back by often, as Lance has GREAT writers writing on this particular theme throughout Feb.!)
IN Harmony,
Jen
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Cris February 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Oh, yes indeed, Let Love In! What a wonderful post!
“Loved” the golf-clicker idea. So many of us would be surprised at how many negative thoughts can/do infiltrate our mind each day. Click that enough times in a day and dramatic, conciencious changes will occur.
I especially related to your section of “V” as past childhood experiences have often hindered my ability to feel worthy of love and acceptance. It is a difficult wall to break down.
And your final comment…….finding, and might I add-nurturing, the right kind of love is paramount. Excellent!

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Jen February 8, 2012 at 9:04 am

Hi Cris! I think many of us really resonate with the V 🙂 and you are right…it is a difficult wall to break down. But when I visualize, I add in the part of how FUN it is to rip down those walls! I say that because we have remodeled our old house for years. There is something healing about driving a sledgehammer into an old, rundown wall and visualizing the beauty of what will be rebuilt!

I really appreciate your thoughts, and you being here!
In Harmony,
Jen
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Heidi February 8, 2012 at 8:37 am

Jen – you have such a wonderful way of looking at things! For me, you always make me stop and slow down so that I look at things in a different light. Thank you and we love you and your family!

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Jen February 8, 2012 at 9:06 am

Ah…
Heidi, I am glad I can help you slow down! Now if I can only take my own advice?
And YOU also have all the tools and skills to look at things in wonderful and creative ways. And I appreciate that very much!
Love you back!
IN Harmony,
Jen
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Andrew Walker February 29, 2012 at 3:43 am

Well, indeed. I agree with that. Simple example, look at marriage. You won’t do any marriage if you don’t love each other.
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