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Making Big, Shiny Change

When it comes to change, there are a ton of long-held per­spec­tives that have infil­trated our col­lec­tive psy­ches. Here’s what imme­di­ately pops for me:

Change is bad.
Change is good.
Change is scary.
Change is essen­tial.
Change is inevitable.

I got curi­ous about how oth­ers feel about change, so I decided to crowd­source this topic and asked my Twit­ter and Face­book network:

Please fill in the blank: Change is ___________.

And boy, did crowd-sourcing get crowded. Peo­ple showed up:

Change is growth.
Change is a new begin­ning.
Change is an oppor­tu­nity
Change is con­stant. As in, noth­ing is con­stant by change
Change is hard when you want it and even harder when you don’t.
Change is obliv­i­ously nec­es­sary.
Change is a rolling sea of self-discovery.
Change is the only sure thing.
Change is fun!!!
Change is the ner­vous, scary, thrilling, hell YES! swirly feel­ing in your stom­ach.
Change is the nature of real­ity.
Change is the one thing we all want. Even though we pre­tend we don’t.
Change is never as scary as the story made up in our heads says it is.
Change is heal­ing.
Change is con­stant, scary and lib­er­at­ing.
Change stop in your tracks if you let or it can fly you for­ward if you jump on and hang on.
Change is cre­ation at work.
Change is the E-ticket ride of life.
Change chal­lenges us to become some­one we were wait­ing to be!
Change is inevitable and can’t hap­pen too quickly.
Change is up to me.
Change is good. Even if it comes kick­ing and scream­ing.
Change is nec­es­sary for growth and sur­vival.
Change is cer­tain, whether you are ready or not.
Change is wel­come.
Change is inevitable.
Change is freeing!

Yes.

To every last statement.

At var­i­ous points along the path of change, some answers feel more rel­e­vant than others…

…but with each answer, I felt truth resonate.

(Psssst…Here’s a lit­mus test to reveal your own per­spec­tive on change.  Notice your reac­tions when you read the words: “Change of plans.” Or: “time for a change”. How do you feel? Excited? Annoyed? Frus­trated? Fearful?)

Change is…Different. And So Your Responses Will Be Dif­fer­ent, Too.

When I think about change, I notice that there are two TYPES of change:

1) Change that is thrust upon us.
2) Change we choose (a.k.a. change we thrust upon ourselves).

Cir­cum­stan­tial change can be com­pli­cated in how it man­i­fests and yet sim­ple in how we must approach it: adapt or die.

Your part­ner loses their job. There’s an unex­pected preg­nancy. You’re asked to relocate.

At our worst, we kick, scream, deny and avoid. At our best, we rec­og­nize the oppor­tu­nity (after we’ve kicked and screamed and denied and avoided). And then we pro­ceed. Evolv­ing as we go.

But choos­ing to make a change?

Ahhhh. THIS is where the honey is at.

By and large, most respon­dents to my less-than-scientific-experiment sug­gested that this kind of change is essential.

We know it. We know we’ve been mak­ing excuses our whole lives: for our dis­con­nec­tion, for our weight, for our smok­ing, for our poor diet, for our unful­fill­ing career.

Then some­thing hap­pens. It could be an event, or we hit a wall, or we just get tired. In that moment, we decide to stop mak­ing excuses and start mak­ing changes.

And that moment is exhilarating…

…and scary as hell.

Imme­di­ately, our now-wide-awake inner voices (crit­ics, grem­lins, saboteurs…whatever you call them) start fran­ti­cally scream­ing: “NO NO NO!!!! Don’t change! Stay safe! Keep your head down. WHATEVER YOU DO…DO NOTHING!!!!”

Given the vis­ceral knee-jerk reac­tion, it’s a won­der we per­se­vere. And yet we do.

Per­se­vere. Change. Plan. Shine.

Here’s how to make a change. Any change. On your terms.

  1. Get clear about WHY you want to make the change. What’s the ulti­mate goal and how will you FEEL? What will this change give you?
  2. Set your “start” and “by when” dates. And don’t allow your­self to get freaked out about either date. They can’t hurt you…I promise.
  3. Know your trig­gers and plan for work-arounds. And if you DON’T know your trig­gers, spend some time doc­u­ment­ing them before your start date. (What was going on before you reached for the Chips Ahoy, cig­a­rette, or remote control?)
  4. Decide how you’ll mea­sure your progress. Is Excel your friend or foe? A white­board check­list? A notepad that goes every­where you go?
  5. Ready your sup­port sys­tems (account­abil­ity part­ner­ships work wonders).
  6. Com­mit fully to your start date. Do this as pub­licly as you are will­ing to. (Maybe even more so).
  7. Check in truth­fully with your­self as you log your progress. Also take time to feel into what’s going on with you. Where’s the resis­tance? What are you resist­ing (for real?) How can this be more fun (yup, I went there)?
  8. Expect home­osta­sis and be ready for it. Know it’s a good sign (it will set in when you’re part­way through the change when the old is undone and the new is not yet embed­ded). You’re mostly there, Rock Star!
  9. Lean into your sup­port. They said “yes” because they want you to succeed.
  10. Cel­e­brate every win. Daily.
  11. Count on slip­ping and know how you are with that. Learn from it, recal­i­brate and have another go. You must. You’re count­ing on you.

And while you’re doing all of that, remem­ber this, Sun­shine: you can make changes or you can make excuses. Your choice.

Blaze on.

by Tanya Geisler

Clar­ity. Action. Achieve­ment. Joy. Tanya Geisler is a CTI-certified coach (a.k.a. “cat­a­lyst, not ther­a­pist”) and speaker who believes that life is a grand production…and it’s time for you to step into your star­ring role. And radi­ate. Right now.
Tanya Geisler
View all posts by Tanya Geisler
Filed Under: Creative Expression, Jungle Writers

Comments

  1. Laurie says:
    October 22, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Change IS all of those things. And it is excit­ing too! But how much you buy into the change will make all the dif­fer­ence. I think that is the biggest fac­tor deter­min­ing success.

    Reply
  2. Nick Sotos says:
    October 22, 2011 at 9:35 am

    You are so right Tanya. Thank you for this won­der­ful post about change. I really enjoy it.
    Keep on the good work!
    Nick Sotos´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Five Ten Project Review and CouponMy Profile

    Reply
  3. sambit misra says:
    October 22, 2011 at 11:30 am

    Change is chal­leng­ing. Like every chal­lenge, it is your response to it which sets the result. So, the focus should be on the appro­pri­ate response.

    Reply
  4. Rakesh Narang says:
    October 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Some peo­ple have eas­ily cre­ated a think­ing pat­tern that makes change nec­es­sary. Unfor­tu­nately, I haven’t man­age to do that, I still feel very much inse­cure, my brain goes “Pain” when I think about mak­ing a “change that is inevitable.” I have found out the rea­son for it and I’d be work­ing hard to find an alternative.

    God Bless.

    - Rakesh Narang
    Rakesh Narang´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Burn the Rope: Worlds com­ing soon to Android MarketMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Jody - Fit at 53 says:
    October 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Book­mark­ing! You got me! ;-) GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Jody — Fit at 53´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Sat­ur­day FunniesMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Cathy | Treatment Talk says:
    October 23, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Hi Tanya,

    Change is nec­es­sary some­times and what a great post for explain­ing change and the var­i­ous forms. Change to me, can be excit­ing (as long as it’s pos­i­tive). But some­times we have to work on let­ting go of the past, accept the con­se­quences of change, and enjoy our new sit­u­a­tion.
    Cathy | Treat­ment Talk´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..When Your Child’s Addic­tion Becomes Your OwnMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker says:
    October 23, 2011 at 6:55 am

    Lance, sorry for my late addition:

    Change is is nec­es­sary for growth.

    Alex

    Reply
  8. David Stevens says:
    October 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Hi Tanya,
    Change is elec­tric in the right cir­cun­stances. You gotta set the scene, pre­pare then go for it. When change is thrust upon us, the bar­ri­ers go up, initially.….then re group, assess & allow.
    thank you
    be good to your­self
    David
    David Stevens´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Where’s the “Cash”?My Profile

    Reply
  9. MizFit says:
    October 24, 2011 at 5:04 am

    for me it is INDEED 1000% about the WHY.
    when I know that the change is no longer scary.
    MizFit´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Sweet Talk­ing KenMy Profile

    Reply
  10. rob white says:
    October 24, 2011 at 8:00 am

    I love that crowd par­tic­i­pa­tion, Tanya. Indeed, there is no such thing as a wrong answer when folks speak their own truth. I like to think of ‘change’ as a blos­som­ing that we must nour­ish by con­tin­u­ally ask­ing healthy ques­tions. I take on change by ask­ing ques­tions like; “how can I allow the beau­ti­ful qual­i­ties of my authen­tic self to fully blos­som through my per­son­al­ity?”
    rob white´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Rejoic­ing at the Boston Book FestivalMy Profile

    Reply
  11. Tia Sparkles Singh says:
    October 24, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Change is inevitable. Progress is not.
    Tia Sparkles Singh´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..21 Things I know To be True.My Profile

    Reply
  12. Tia Sparkles Singh says:
    October 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Unless you make it so.
    Tia Sparkles Singh´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..You Don’t Have to Know How to Believe You Can – Guest Post by Dr Rob PenningtonMy Profile

    Reply
  13. Galen Pearl says:
    October 25, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    Great post–I love the vari­ety of answers. I used to be very grumpy about change, at least change that I was not in con­trol of, because, well because I wasn’t in con­trol of it! Some­where along the way, I fig­ured out I wasn’t even con­trol­ing the change I thought I was con­trol­ling! Ha! The joke was on me.
    Galen Pearl´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Com­mon SensesMy Profile

    Reply
  14. ghostfighter0506 says:
    October 27, 2011 at 6:00 am

    I love that crowd par­tic­i­pa­tion, Tanya. Indeed, there is no such thing as a wrong answer when folks speak their own truth. I like to think of ‘change’ as a blos­som­ing that we must nour­ish by con­tin­u­ally ask­ing healthy ques­tions.
    ghostfighter0506´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..stunt­bike gamesMy Profile

    Reply
  15. sheila says:
    November 6, 2011 at 6:59 am

    I’m just see­ing this for the first time today, I’m a bit tardy, lol. I just had to chime in and say what a won­der­ful read this is! Chane is like one of those tight warm lin­ger­ing hugs you can give yourself.

    Reply

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