“Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul” ~ William Hazlitt
Today I would like to introduce Eliza Fayle. I “met” Eliza early on when I first stared this site, when we were both out there beginning this exploration into our own voice. A journey, it has been. And today I see Eliza really touching upon what matters deeply to her. She is currently putting her amazing writing talents into the creation and sharing of an online magazine, Silver & Grace.
Take a few minutes and get to know Eliza more deeply, and see what has brought her to where she is today on her journey.
1. Tell us a little bit about who “you” are (family, career, any special life experiences you’d like to share, etc.)
I’ll start with my age because there are women who are uncomfortable disclosing their age, and I sure ain’t one of them. 47. And looking forward to 48, 49, 50 … you get the idea.
Mother of three twenty-somethings and step-mom to a 12 year old. Caregiver to two cats, three Koi fish and one rat.
Partner to an incredible man whom I have been with for three of the most gloriously fun and creative years of my life thus far.
Civil servant project manager by day (but let’s not waste any time on that), founder and editor of an online magazine for women, intuitive counselor, jewelry designer, writer, and amateur photographer. And that’s on a slow day.
Special life experiences? Absolutely everything I have ever experienced, because they all add up to whom I am today.
Lance’s Commentary: I’m 41 (see…now you’ve got me sharing MY age here!!). This weekend, as I was playing football in the backyard with my kids (and slipping in the snow as they raced past me!!)…well, grace was not a word I was using to describe myself!!!
2. We go way back (in Internet terms, anyway!) to when you were the Urban Panther. Describe how you have evolved from those days, to where you are now.
Ha, we do go way back, eh? I started Urban Panther because I was emailing fun life anecdotes to my family and friends. My brother, Alex Fayle, the Someday Syndrome guru, suggested I might like blogging as a way to share my stories with a broader audience.
Holy crumpets! Alex neglected to mention how addictive blogging can be, how time consuming it is, and the HUGE learning curve associated with it. We like to spread the joy in our family. *chuckle*
After a year of cutting my teeth on the Urban Panther, I realized I wanted to focus in on the challenges and joys associated with this second half of women’s lives known as perimenopause and menopause … or, as I fondly call it the Crone Stage. So, I said good-bye to the Urban Panther and launched Silver & Grace. … as a blog … which leads us to your next question …
Lance’s Commentary: Ahh, yes…the addictive nature of this blogosphere!! I’m thinking I should sign up for a bloggers support group, except I don’t know when I can fit it in!! As for menopause (and those other big words you’ve used!)…I’ll *ahem* gladly take a pass on all of that (I know…I’m a slacker…). And…honestly…I really loved that name “Urban Panther”!!
3. And that brings me to your latest endeavor – the Silver & Grace online magazine. What has creating this meant to you?
Silver & Grace Online Magazine for Women. Sigh. My baby. This is the synthesis of all my skills:
- Project manager
- Editor
- Collaborator
- Promoter
- Community Builder
By converting Silver & Grace from a blog to an online magazine I get to showcase other incredible writers and promote their products and services. I also get to provide the Silver & Grace community with a variety of experiences, perspectives, and expertise that I cannot possibly do as a lone blogger.
The Crone Stage of a woman’s life is an exciting time. We’ve pretty much been there, done that, and now it is our time to shine. We learn to truly take care of ourselves, instead of others. And then a magical thing happens. We are able to then turn back around and take care of others. But, it’s different this time. This time we do not lose ourselves in the giving, and our biggest gift is wisdom.
Silver & Grace is my gift of wisdom.
Lance’s Commentary: Okay, you’re making this “Crone Stage” sound pretty sweet!! Maybe I really should sign up for menopause (for men, do they call it womenopause???). As you can tell…I’m pretty clueless (hey, that could be the next movie I star in: “Clueless in Wisconsin”).
4. Tell us something that might seem a bit crazy, that you have done in your life – and what that has meant to who you are today.
Hmmm … might be best to ask my family and friends what crazy things I have done. I am sure they can come up with more than one example of “Are you crazy????”
Let’s go with this one …
Marrying very young, three children before age 24, divorced by age 28, immediately into another relationship for fourteen years that was extremely toxic, then finally living on my own for the very first time in my life at age 42. Casually dated for a year, then decided I had enough of that scene.
All of this craziness caused me to sit down one day and write a detailed wish of list of exactly the values and qualities I wanted in a man. I told myself that I was no longer going to simply ‘settle’. I was happy to be single for the rest of my life. Any man who wanted to share my life had to have every quality on my list.
Two weeks later, in waltzed Marc. He met every quality plus the bonus items.
Who am I today because of this? Happy, content, loved.
Lance’s Commentary: “Happy, content, loved”. Now if that’s a place that crazy leads to, that is all sorts of awesome! May your moments with Marc continue to be filled with all of this…from the crazy to the loved…
5. Tell us one unexpected thing that has happened to you, from going down this path of starting Silver and Grace?
Back up in Question One I mention I am a civil servant. A project manager with the Federal Government, actually. And I loathe it. That’s right … looooooaaaaathe it. I am not designed for bureaucracy and a sea of grey Dilbert Cubes.
By managing the Silver & Grace online magazine, I have come to realize many things, and one of them is that I have valuable skill sets that I can, and should be using, to work for myself. But what?
As our wonderful Barbara, of Blogging Without a Blog, points out, you need thousands of visits per day to make advertising money through blogging. Okay, given enough time, Silver & Grace will get there. I have complete confidence in that, but we are talking years and those Dilbert Cube walls are closing in on me.
Designing jewelry? Yes, I steadily sell my necklaces and rings, but that just brings in enough money to reinvest in supplies. That is really a self-sustaining hobby.
But what I have discovered through all my interactions in my 9-to-5 job and through the online community is that women of all ages come to me for advice. It’s that wisdom thing coming through, plus an intuitive ability I have had all my life.
I have finally found my calling in the form of Intuitive counseling, and I will be launching this business over the next several months in the form of email intuitive readings, email courses, and in-person workshops.
I know with every fibre of my being that this is what my life has been leading me to. Everything up to this point has been ‘a journey to my true peak’.
Lance’s Commentary: Ahhhh.…the wisdom that comes from our life and the experiences we have had. And it’s a journey for all of us…this life we are living.
6. Deep-down, Eliza, what makes you, “you”?
I was in an innovative workshop a number of years back with all my IT colleagues and our Business clients. We were about to embark on a five year intensive multi-million dollar project together, so we were doing an all-day team bonding event.
One of the exercises was to pick a value from a list of words and associate that value to someone in the room. One of co-workers stood up and said “I pick the word ‘grace’ and I associate it with Elizabeth.”
I actually burst into tears. This is what I believe makes me “me”. Grace.
… and a wicked sense of humour.
Lance’s Commentary: Grace. That is a deeply meaningful word, and one that I believe touches on your soul, Eliza. Mix that with your wonderfully wicked sense of humor, and that’s a great combination of care for our world mixed with a whole lot of fun.
Closing Thoughts: Eliza, what you are creating…this space that comes from your heart and reaches out.…that is a gift. As you continue on this journey, may you also continue to even more fully embrace this beauty, this beauty of YOU that shines out from your soul.
Peace, love, and all things good…
Thanks for introducing me to Eliza, Lance. How refreshing. I love how she broke down the paradigm right off the bat by enthusiastically sharing her age. Clearly, Eliza is a practical thinker with a wonderful philosophy to offer the world. How she sees her spiritual life in conjunction with her professional life is wonderfully honest… we can all benefit from this experience. Best of luck with Silver and Grace, Eliza!
rob white´s Last Fabulous Post ..How Help Arrives
@Rob — thank you. I have to admit that my response to this –How she sees her spiritual life in conjunction with her professional life is wonderfully honest– was, well ya, it all goes hand in hand. But, then I popped over to your site and read “IF IT AIN’T PRACTICAL, IT AIN’T SPIRITUAL” and realized that maybe that part is not obvious to everyone if you have to state in all All Caps
I now have the theme of Monday’s editorial, with full credit to you. Thank you!
I am all subscribed to your blog now. Very pleased to have met you here.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
Thank you, Lance, for featuring the lovely Eliza! And Eliza — it was really cool to get to know you better through this interview. I was already a big fan, and now I love you even more.
(And guess what, Lance! Eliza is dancing with me on my blog. Uh huh. Very soon…)
@Joy — ooooh, your dance announcement gave me butterflies in my tummy. Be kind everyone! LOL
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
What an interesting lady this Eliza is.. and she is certainly indeed crazy for having 3 children before 24… although u gotta admire that in a woman.. so many woman think they have to find themselves before having children, but I imagine for her having children is what also helped her find herself.
Henway´s Last Fabulous Post ..Medifast Recipes Forum
@Henway — I have a confession to make that will likely make staunch feminists cringe, but growing up the ONLY thing I wanted to be was a mom. Never put thought to a career. For that matter, never even considered what marriage would be like … hence a short lived one
It was well into my role as mom that I started to put thought to what else I might like to do.
Did I make mistakes being such a young mother? Absolutely. But, I suppose we make parenting mistakes no matter when in life we start. We just might be different ones.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
Lance,
How fun to see such a good friend interviewed here on another good friends blog! It’s like getting a two for one Deal! I have to agree, the word that I associate with Eliza is Grace. Followed closely on the heels by adventure, fun and creativity. All put together, it makes her into one of my favorite people and I am honored to watch her grow through her new endeavors. Thanks for the great interview!
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations,Blue Sun Media´s Last Fabulous Post ..Are you ready to get emotionally naked
@Wendi — grow with the love and support of good and equally creative friends.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
Wendi,
Two for one!!! –> I LOVE that!! (see…you are making me AND Eliza feel all good!!)
And — having YOU here…that also puts a big smile on my face!
Hi Lance and Eliza — Congrats on a fabulous interview! It’s wonderful to see Eliza articulating her passion and communicating how she is expanding her talents here. I’m a fan of you both, so this was a great read. Thanks!
Betsy Wuebker´s Last Fabulous Post ..Pontiac – A Fiery Musket Against the British Lion
@Betsy — you and Pete inspired me to focus those passions.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
@Lance — it’s called andropause, darlin’, and it does not seem to be associated with quite the same spiritual changes that women go through during menopause. But then again, you get off much lighter on the physical symptoms, so you might want to sign up for the andro version if you are deciding which way to go
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
Dear speaker of big words,
I’m “pause“ing to try and get a grip on all these pauses…
It’s not working…I’m still clueless… Wait!! My wife, Lora, she thinks I live in “clueless”-land all the time, anyway. So…I feel perfectly at home amongst all these big words!!!
Ahhh…familiarity in unfamiliarity (which probably makes NO sense…)
This has been fun, Eliza!! You rock!!
What a lovely idea for a magazine!
And the photo made me smile. It’s so peaceful and happy.
Sagan´s Last Fabulous Post ..E-book Excerpt
@Sagan — I was about to go on stage to sing. I think you are mistaking peaceful with petrified *grin*
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Words From The Editor– Leadership– Rainbows– Divorce– Grandparenting– Health
Thanks for the intro, Lance
Delightful post about a clearly delightful person. All the best in blogging to both you and Eliza! BTW, tingles ran along my arms at her description of determining what she wanted in a mate. I corroborate — this worked a treat for me too!
Naomi Estment´s Last Fabulous Post ..Celebrating Southern African Getaways
@Naomi — and tingles ran along my arms. By sharing my story, I am meeting many wonderful women who met their Mr Very Right the same way, by deciding not to settle.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Hey Naomi!!
Thanks! Eliza is a STAR in my book (…and you are too!)!!
Awesome work for both of you…finding a soulmate with deep meaning to you…
Hi Lance and Eliza
Beautiful interview! And Eliza I so enjoyed getting to know more about you! I have visited your site before several times, and have greatly enjoyed the energy that emanates from all that is there. You are doing marvellous work for women, and especially approaching so “gracefully” the topic of ageing and all the amazing things that are possible in the second half on one’s life.
Keep up the fantastic work!
Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..Essential Energy with Cyndi Dale– The Fallen Star – Bringing Light to the Deepest Part of Our Soul
@Evita — thank you. It is very interesting that I get this type of comment from women. There are Baby Boomer mags out there, but I am often disheartened to find articles which encourage us, subtly and not so subtly, to stay young at all costs. I am gratified to learn that Silver & Grace is being welcomed for not taking that stance.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Lance,
Excellent legacy content my friend.
Eliza’s story can bring clarity
to countless others on how life
can unfold to a journey filled
with personal adventure.
If only I had known Eliza during
her Urban Panther days. I feel as
though I’ve missed out on so much
of her wisdom.
Thanks for introducing her to us
Lance.
And Eliza,
Wow, how refreshing and inspiring
you are. It sounds like you are
making very important progress in
your new venture. I wish you all
the best.
Kevin Tyler Smith
Promethean Life
Kevin Tyler Smith´s Last Fabulous Post ..How To Overcome Poor Self Esteem In The Face Of A Brutal Environment
@Kevin — wow, legacy content… wow! Thank you. I believe strongly that not only is it okay to share our personal journeys, it is important in order to mentor those who not so quite as far along in their own. I am extremely grateful for my own mentors, but that would be a story unto itself. Another time perhaps
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Interesting interview Lance. Thanks for sharing it. There are definitely some lessons about writing and living from Eliza in there.
@Eduard — and there are those amongst us who claim that writing is living
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
First, Lance, you do not want anything to do with perimenopause into menopause. I am not at menopause yet BUT I can say from experience that what I have been going thru for at least 5 years is NO FUN!!!! Nope!
I am not sure I am as much like you Eliza in looking forward to getting older.. I fight it!
I have not grasped the aging gracefully part BUT I love your attitude & what you are doing with your life.
I have other obstacles due to the economy & such that at this point in my life do not allow me to do certain things but I love what you are bringing to the table! I will be checking out that site!!!
Jody — Fit at 53´s Last Fabulous Post ..Medicine– Pills & Your Health!
@Jody — well, talk to me again when I really start to experience symptoms. Right now, pretty much nothing. But doing your math, I could be in for a rocky road starting next year. I encourage you to check back then to see how graceful I am being *chuckle*
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Jody,
Ha!!! Okay…I’ll steer clear of that men-o-thing!!! (thanks for *ahem* clearing that up for me…)
There is so much in this post, Lance and Eliza, but I’ll highlight my enthusiasm for your Magazine, Eliza. It is so hard for women to overcome the denial about being peri or meno pausal. After many years in careers where I worked primarily with men, I then began managing a Senior’s residence. Suddenly I was working with all women. If they weren’t in acute stages of PMS, they were trying to remain human through symptoms of Peri or Meno pause. Most of them wanted to be “organic” and were not on any replacement therapy. It was hard to watch and live through their struggles.
So, your online magazine would have been a source of some sage advice. I prayed for Grace many, many times — only to find that mountainous issues would become “no problem” in a matter of time. Being “post”, it made me consider what I put others through…
Also, thanks for sharing the evolutionary process of your blogging experience.
Lance, you are such a great supporter.
Amy MacLeod´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Guides – Seeing Through the Veil
@Amy — I am so glad it is far more acceptable to talk about menopause and to openly share. I cannot imagine being from my mother’s generation where it was considered something you just ‘went through’ … as in put up and shut up … and if you did go to a doctor they simply prescribed pills with heavy emphasis on anti-depressants.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
You are sweet, Amy…thank you!!
Hi Lance:
Thanks for sharing Eliza’s story in this interview. It’s also good to learn how her first blog evolved to her current mission and how she continues to move toward what’s important to her. I know I’m not the target demographic, but I think its a very important topic and issue for a lot of women. Thanks again, Lance, for introducing us to Eliza.…Eliza, it’s great to meet you and learn more about you.
Tim´s Last Fabulous Post ..Weekend Musical Diversion– Shop Vac
OMG, Tim, I totally got sucked into checking out your post and now that darn song is stuck in my head .… because it’s loud with the shop-vac on
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Tim,
Yep, I’m not the target demographic either.…Eliza’s humor, though, still pulls me in!!
I think having the word “Grace” associated with you is one of the best compliments you could ever receive.
You cracked me up with that “crone” thing.
Lynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Room with a view– the long way and imagine
@Lynn — it is my goal to make Crone sexy
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Well, I’m almost 47, in another 4 months or so.
And Lance, when did you get a year older?? Seems like just last year you were only 40.
Ahhh, numbers so arbitrary and not at all who we are inside with our nature of grace and loving lights expanding.
And speaking of SILVER, that is one word I added into my lyrics yesterday. Silver draws me to it and vice verse. Like Lance and Eliza draw god things and good people to them.
Sweet interview. I just LOVE coming to this blog to feed my happiness addiction!!
xoxo
Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Paint Your Palette Blue And Gray
Jannie,
Hmmm.…I’m not sure how that happened, that “year older” thing??? I’ve been told it happened!!! In fact, my kids claim that number is MUCH higher than 41 (yikes!!)!!
Happy 46.668795444th Birthday to YOU!!!!
well, I meant to write you both draw “good” things, but god is a good good thing too — the best!!
xoxo
Jannie Funster´s Last Fabulous Post ..Paint Your Palette Blue And Gray
@Jannie — I had decided it was a delightful Freudian slip and was totally good with it
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
This… made me cry just a little. I am so inspired to hear your story, Eliza, and grace truly is what shines through in this piece! What a gift, indeed. Thank you for sharing!
Adrenalynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Merry December!
@Adrenalynn — was a tad worried until I realized they were good tears. My goal in sharing is always to inspire at least one person. Lance provided me with an awesome and fun chance to meet everyone over hear, and now based on your comment I am totally complete.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Hey Snow Bunny!!
Hi Lance,
Eliza shares her amazingly positive energy here in her words. Thank you for introducing me to her
One word to describe this interview would be : ENLIGHTENING!
Loved it!
Much Love to you both,
Z~
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s Last Fabulous Post ..PositivityLoveAwesome!
@Zeenat — what an incredibly warm and loving crowd here at Jungle of Life. Thank you.
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Wow..Grace. That’s powerful stuff. You gave me goosebumps! That would probably make me burst into tears, too, but that doesn’t take much for me : ) You sound like a down to Earth, free spirit of a woman, knowing who she is and where she’s going. I love it!
Jasmine´s Last Fabulous Post ..Unique Gift Baskets
@Jasmine — I certainly did not always know who I was. I will fully admit to that. But yes, I think it is extremely safe to say that now I do.
… and fortunately I like me … a lot … because it would totally suck if I didn’t *grin*
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Eliza and Lance — what a joy to read this interview today! Eliza, I’ve seen you around, and was so happy to learn more about you here. Yahoo! (Lance, well done!)
I love how you sum yourself up: grace … with a wicked sense of humor. Fantastic! I’d like to have tea with you for those two reasons. And your answer reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld (the later years) when she was interviewing for a job and said she had “…a little bit of grace.” That’s how I feel about myself! And of course the interviewer then told Elaine that one cannot have a little bit of grace. You either have grace, or you don’t, at which point Elaine confessed that she didn’t have any.
Intuitive counseling — my eyes perked right up (well, at that and the mention of jewelry, because heck, I might not wear a lot of it, but I sure do admire it, especially if it sparkles or shines!). I think that’s such a noble calling because so many are “lost” right now. It’s a very dark time for some, and yet the light has also never been brighter. Those in the shadows need help finding the light. Your gift will guide them there. I look forward to hearing more about this venture. I support you, Eliza!
What a joy this has been. Thank you, again, Eliza and Lance!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..Integrative Homeopathy – An Interview with Dr Seema Khaneja
@Megan — re: It’s a very dark time for some, and yet the light has also never been brighter. And is for that very reason I am called to intuitive counseling. The answers are there, inside all of us. Sometimes we just need a little help and advice to draw the answers out. Thank you for your support!
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
Megan,
Why, thank you!!! I had the easy part though.…Eliza…she had to answer these very difficult questions. And…she did that marvelously!!!
I tried a headstand the other day. It was NOT graceful… (just saying…)
Eliza,
I love the name of your magazine and wish you all the best for it. The Crone stage is the best ever yet! I’m so happy to hear how you are following your heart and moving into intuitive counseling as well. Good luck to you.
Sandra Lee´s Last Fabulous Post ..Sneaking Up On Willy-Nilly Consumption
@Sandra — thank you. What a wonderful place the world would be if we could all follow our hearts, eh? The creative energy would be incredible!
Ha! Just realized the ‘eh?’ gave me away as Canadian … lol
Eliza´s Last Fabulous Post ..Divorce and the empty nest a dreadful combination
> a wicked sense of humour
Can’t beat that.
Project Manager skills are a great thing to have under your belt. So much of today’s work is really project work, even labors of love. I’ve seen people with project manager abilities make their dreams happen with skill and help others make their dreams happen too.
Lance, as always, you know how to bring out the best in people and your commentary makes your interviews really stand out.
J.D. Meier´s Last Fabulous Post ..Insightful Personal Development Books