Sunday Thought For The Day

by Lance Ekum on · 73 comments

Note:  If you are having trouble viewing this, please click here.

Special note:  This is a video created by the Postsecret project.  Postsecret is a ongoing project in which people can anonymously submit their secrets.   The concept behind this project is around the idea that sometimes when we are keeping a secret, it is really that secret that is keeping us.

I welcome your thoughts.

If you feel moved to share any secrets here, and would like to do that anonymously, you can use the following:

Name:  Anonymous
Email:  anonymous [at]

Lance writes stories from his heart, aiming to inspire and motivate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he's not here, you can find him hanging out with his family, riding a bike, or just generally acting goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Treehouse newsletter and get additional inspiration in your email inbox!
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{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }

Suzie Cheel March 7, 2010 at 2:24 am

“The concept behind this project is around the idea that sometimes when we are keeping a secret, it is really that secret that is keeping us.”
Interesting concept/thought Lance.
I initially read that as what is that secret keeping us from. Sometimes we keep things secret that really should be shared with the world, but often we stop ourselves from stepping into our greatness.
Just may inital take on reading the words, before i watched the video
I appreciate you.
.-= Suzie Cheel´s Last Fabulous Post ..Inspirational SABs #20 =-.


Barbara Swafford March 7, 2010 at 5:17 am

Hi Lance,

I just watched the video and checked out the Post Secret site. I agree. Secrets can “have us”. Not only can they hamper our growth, but they can also create unbearable guilt. The postcard idea is ingenious.

The secret is out. You’re an awesome person and blogger. Thank you for sharing this great find. 🙂
.-= Barbara Swafford´s Last Fabulous Post ..Be Careful What You Wish For =-.


Lynn March 7, 2010 at 5:56 am

What a wonderful concept – holding secrets in can eat one alive inside. It is good to get things out. Thanks for sharing the video – interesting and also kind of sad in a couple of places.
.-= Lynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Last day, 88 friends and dessert before dinner =-.


Evelyn Lim March 7, 2010 at 6:42 am

I remember coming across this site previously. Most certainly, an amazing concept! I also published a post on confessing your secrets some time back and was pretty astounded by one or two “confessions” made publicly on the comments section.
.-= Evelyn Lim´s Last Fabulous Post ..How to Create Affirmation Cards On-The-Go =-.


Jenny Mannion March 7, 2010 at 6:49 am

Hi Lance,

I had checked out this site and thought it was a good idea. I agree with Lynn that secrets can eat you alive inside and am happy there are these places for sharing them. I can hold my friend’s secrets if they confide in me but know I, myself don’t like to have any secrets. I’m not saying every part of my life is an open book… but I have a tremendous inner circle around me that I trust to hold things personal to me in confidence. I feel it’s important to think about WHY we are holding onto a secret – is it to protect our ego from something we think will embarrass us? I am all for authenticity and when you hold too many secrets I don’t think it is possible to feel authentic. Thanks for the share – thought provoking as always! Happy Sunday!
.-= Jenny Mannion´s Last Fabulous Post ..Life Between Lives – How Learning about our Soul’s Journey is Healing =-.


Joanna Sutter March 7, 2010 at 7:09 am

Cool concept! Getting stuff off your chest is pretty freeing, isn’t it? No matter how big or how small!
.-= Joanna Sutter´s Last Fabulous Post ..Sunday School =-.


Positively Present March 7, 2010 at 7:39 am

Great post, Lance! I love PostSecret — have all the books! — and it was great to see the video of it. Thanks for sharing this today!
.-= Positively Present´s Last Fabulous Post ..wonderland’s wisdom: 5 life lessons from alice’s adventure =-.


Laurie March 7, 2010 at 7:51 am

I had a secret I had kept since I was, I can’t remember how young. It just always was. I carried a huge amount of guilt from it and thought I was bad, dirty, and on and on it goes. I finally confessed it to my counselor and it took all the power out of the secret that it had over my life. After having done that, I told two of my best friends and found they had the same secret. Not only did telling them make me realize that I am human and make mistakes, but that I am not alone. Telling was the best thing I have done but I caution people to take care when choosing that trusted person to tell. Make certain it is someone of integrity and who does not gossip.

A different secret, I actually heard God talk to me.


Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord March 7, 2010 at 8:22 am

What struck me as I looked in the eyes of most of the people sharing their so-called secrets is that many of them did not appear to share their truest, deepest, darkest secrets. My sense is that we’re so afraid to share ourselves with anyone else — the “real” us — that we just say something else that feels more appropriate or acceptable given the circumstances. Many times I wonder if we’re even able to access our most authentic selves when we’re alone, let alone when we’re with others. So while I like the idea behind this project, I don’t get the feeling that more than one or two of those folks actually shared a life-altering secret.

That made me wonder: how would I answer? At first I thought, “I don’t really have any secrets.” I know that’s not true, though. That’s my safe, stand-by answer. Truthfully, there are some things in my life I am not at all proud of – or ready – to admit.

So Lance, your post has sort of allowed me to do some deep, perhaps even uncomfortable, reflecting today.

(*bow*) If not now, then when?!

Have a beautiful Sunday!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Independence of Solitude (Ralph Waldo Emerson Quote) =-.


Stacey / Create a Balance March 7, 2010 at 8:44 am

I observed a similar sense of raw emotion in each person as they were asked to share their secret. And then, I observed a similar sense of relief in each person after they let their secret free.


Lisis March 7, 2010 at 8:53 am

Oh, Lance! That was a great video. Post Secret is one of my favorite sites (and project ideas) of all time because… well, everyone has secrets. They may be big ones, or little ones, juicy ones, or painful ones, old or recent… it doesn’t matter. EVERYONE has them, and there is something so liberating about sharing those memories that are either personal treasures, or cancerous thoughts that eat away at your soul.

I definitely have my own menagerie of secrets, filling the pages of my journals, or the farthest recesses of my mind. It’s kind of funny because, I share a closet with Hunter now (in this little apartment) and, right in the middle of it is a skeleton! It’s left over from some Halloween, and he loves the thing, so it’s hanging in our closet. I guess it’s a reminder of the “skeletons” in MY closet! 😉


Mindful Mimi March 7, 2010 at 9:01 am

Sometimes we keep ‘secrets’ without even realising it. Every time we don’t tell the whole truth. Or when we omit something. Sometimes it goes so far and has been going for so long that we start believing it ourselves. I think this is especially true for kids that hit puberty. Often enough, they don’t know the truth, the right, the wrong. And if they lack the right guidance, they can end up living a secret which to them is just normal life.
It’s not that scary to tell a secret about oneself. It’s definitely always better to tell the truth.
.-= Mindful Mimi´s Last Fabulous Post ..Sunday laugh =-.


Audra Krell March 7, 2010 at 9:01 am

My heart breaks for the young woman who said “I’m a lot better before you know me.” If I could talk to her I would tell her that isn’t true. The things we do are just things, they aren’t who we are and they don’t have to define us. All anybody wants, is to be deeply known and then accepted and loved. I pray she finds the right person or people who just love her because of the glorious woman she was truly created to be, not in spite of some secrets in her past.
.-= Audra Krell´s Last Fabulous Post ..Some Conference Highlights =-.


Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker March 7, 2010 at 11:31 am

Anyone who reads my blog knows that for many years of my life my biggest secret was that I am an incest survivor. Today I speak openly about the abuse and its effect on my life. My blog has evolved into a blog about recovery from incest.

In Al-Anon, I learned that a person is only as sick as their secrets.
.-= Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker´s Last Fabulous Post ..FEAR, The Monster =-.


Akemi -Real Life Spirituality March 7, 2010 at 11:38 am

I’m impressed with Megan’s comment. Although I enjoyed the video, there is a definite difference between the Post Secret postcards and this video. People have just so much difficulty sharing their secrets when it’s not anonymous.
I’ve been thinking of writing a post on coming out, and this just gets me thinking — how far I want to go.
.-= Akemi -Real Life Spirituality´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Most Important Message =-.


Mark Salinas March 7, 2010 at 11:59 am

Much reflecting…

“Nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.” -Jean de La Fontaine

Thanks Lance!


Robin Easton March 7, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Dear Lance,

I LOVE this!!! Very very moving for me. There are three big insights I had while watching this video. One: I think it invites us all to look more closely at what WE might be holding secret. Two: It invites us to look at the issue of whether holding onto secrets holds US in bondage. Three: (And I think this is the most important one) In a round about way, just the videos existence, sets us free because we realize more consciously or fully that we are not the ONLY one who may have secrets. THAT alone is very liberating, as it is often human nature to think that we are the ONLY one who: holds secrets, makes mistakes, does things we aren’t proud of, does things that seem weird, and so on.

For me this video and the whole premise addresses HUMAN NATURE. And I think that is a wonderful thing. It unites us all and looks at our commonalities, our core behaviors as a species. I think all too often we look more at our differences, or we look at a more surface level. This video hits into the level behind the veils, at one of the fundamental traits of human “being”.

You can tell I really enjoyed this. You post the most wholesome things. I used to get called a “Pollyanna” when I was younger, for being so positive (people called me that sarcastically). Now, I take it as compliment and I have to thank you for being a powerful reflection of that part of me. Because if I am a Pollyanna, so are you. You are one of the most wholesomely positive people I’ve ever met. I love it and you!!

Thank you sweet Lance for sharing this. I’m going to check out the website as well.
I am hugging you and sending you much love,
.-= Robin Easton´s Last Fabulous Post ..How We Shape Our World =-.


Lance March 7, 2010 at 12:44 pm

@Suzie – That’s an angle I hadn’t really thought about as I was putting this together. And, it IS so good to give this some thought. What are those secrets that can light our heart on fire, and lead us to some amazing places? Wonderful thought!

@Barbara – Hi Barbara. What I really love about the postcard idea is the anonymity of it. There is an element of really being open in that concept, and of how freeing this can be. And, Barbara, you are way too kind (I’m not complaining, though) {smile}. Thank you so much for all that you give of yourself!

@Lynn – And I really see that, too – this sadness in some of the secrets. I wonder, in this sharing, if there is some relief, some sense of release of what’s been held in – and through that, good things can come. I like to hope so, and that in the sharing of these secrets, that these people have found new ways to connect with what these secrets mean. And I really believe that is a big part of what has made this whole Postsecret project successful…

@Evelyn – Hi Evelyn. Yes, this concept is so good, and that is evidenced by the overwhelming number of “secrets” this project gets every week. And thank you for sharing about your own writing about this idea of secrets. Creating a safe place to share is a pretty wonderful thing.

@Jenny Mannion – Hi Jenny. Thank you so much for sharing about your own personal journey, and how this inner circle of friends in your life are a big part of you sharing parts of you. How wonderful to have this group of people in your life! Really, that is so good. Knowing there is a place to turn to, when we have something to share, that is maybe not easy to share…that is a great group to have. And I think it makes this idea of keeping secrets much less important…knowing there are people out there who care unconditionally for us. Perhaps that’s one of these things that the Postsecret project gives people – a place to share openly, when maybe there isn’t that close group of trusted friends. Jenny, thank you so much for sharing all of us. Love to you and your family…

@Joanna – Yes, having a place to share this “stuff” is great, especially when we maybe feel like there is no other “safe” place to share.

@Dani – Hey Dani. Very cool, about the books. What the Postsecret project has created is a conduit for anyone to share a “secret”, when before they maybe felt there wasn’t a safe place to do this. And that’s a real gift to this world.


Lance March 7, 2010 at 1:26 pm

@Laurie – Laurie, thank you so much for sharing all that you have. Being able to shed the guilt, by letting the secret within us out…there is so much freedom in that. I believe you have also touched upon the thing I think is so, so good about the Postsecret project. In sharing, not only does it help to start freeing us from these demons, but it also touches upon this idea that we are not alone in this world. And that helps the person sharing the secret, as well as somebody thousands of miles away, that reads this and sees the same thing in himself/herself…and feels “not so alone” anymore. And that is such a huge gift from the Postsecret project, and for you to your friends in all knowing you are not alone.

@Megan – Megan, you bring up a very interesting point. Yes, I would tend to agree that there are several “secrets” in the video that haven’t come from the deepest part of soul. And I completely agree that sharing the deeper parts of “us”, the parts that might not be so pretty – is not easy at all. And not easy to even share with ourselves. So, here on the video, are people sharing with the world…and that is not easy at all (it certainly wouldn’t be for me). And I would “hold back”, I know I would. And maybe that’s part of the true beauty of the Postsecret project, is in the real anonymity that comes along with the sharing of postcards. When we share, without the fear of being known, I think there is freedom in that – much more freedom than there is in the video here today. (and for the record, my safe stand-by answer is the same as yours…and maybe I’m not being fully honest with myself…). Megan, your words are filled with so much thoughtfulness behind them, and this all has me thinking even more deeply about all of this, too. Many blessings to you on this Sunday, and always.

@Stacey / Create a Balance – Hi Stacey. Yes, that raw emotion…related to the thought that they would share something that has been bottled up inside. And yet, when they do, there is a real sense of relief…it’s out there, it’s done, it’s been said. And life is still going on…

@Lisis – Hi Lisis. Postsecret is a favorite site of mine, too. I find that in the sharing of secrets – and for me, in the reading of these secrets – there is a freedom to believe that I am okay, that what I might see in me as “weird”, or “ugly”, or whatever it is that I might not want to share – there are so many other people out there with that same thought. And knowing that I am not alone, that maybe if I feel like I’m an outcast for some reason – just in knowing there are others, that “aloneness” doesn’t feel quite so alone. And, Lisis…how fitting that there’s a skeleton costume in your closet…a reminder that there are skeletons of another kind in the closet as well…for you and for me.

@Mimi – Well, that’s a great point, Miranda. Ah…and kids and puberty (we are there right now!)…and I definitely see this. And it can be so hard to tell…is there something there, is there something that yearns to be shared, except, well, it might hurt, too. Or is it really just nothing? Wow, I love your comment. Especially in relation to kids and puberty. This really has me thinking right now… Miranda, it is always so good to have you here…

@Audra – Audra, that one really pulled at me, too. What is it, I wonder, that makes her feel this way? What has led up to really believing this about herself? Deep down, I believe that we are all good. That doesn’t mean that we always do everything as we should…at our core, though I see us all as connecting to good. That shines through in you, always, wonderful friend…and today I see that in the caring and compassion you feel for someone you don’t even know. Peace to you always….

@Patricia – Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker — Patricia, what you share so openly today on your site, about incest and what that means, that is such a wonderful thing you are doing. This is a subject that I’m sure many people do bury as secrets in their life…and your open sharing gives others comfort and hope in our world. Letting those secrets out frees us from the reigns they hold over us. Know that I wish you much comfort in your journey, and in the continued sharing gift you give…


Evita March 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Hi Lance

Well first off I am a little surprised that no one took you up on your offer to go anonymous and release something. I guess that is a good sign? Perhaps we are not holding in as much these days, perhaps we feel more comfortable sharing things?

I have seen these books at my local book store and always thought they were such a great idea. Whether we are sharing more today or not, there are still a lot of people with secrets out there, and some of those serious enough to be affecting their health and happiness.

I was never one for secrets, but I am sure there must have been something along the way that I tucked away neatly. Today though, nothing comes to mind, except that I am free with no secrets or guilts eating away at me in any shape. I think it is like Megan said too, that just like in the video, most of us are still not willing to share something deeper or darker. Naturally, not everyone has something like that, while some people have many. But yeah, it was awesome to see all those people and how they approached this issue from an emotional level, etc…

Thanks for sharing!
.-= Evita´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Balance of ‘Enough’ versus ‘More’ – My Wish For You =-.


Hilary March 7, 2010 at 2:23 pm

HI Lance .. mixed emotions on that one – authencity etc .. but the thought that we should let go and not feel guilty, the thought that those fears and negativity are holding us back, holding us in .. are things we should let go .. so specifically re the video itself .. I didn’t particularly relate – seemed too ephemeral to me (though I also would come across that) .. to open us up contextually a good idea and thought proces for us all to go through. The seriousness of the secret is important .. those ridiculous stupid things we do as “kids” – divert us from the true importance of the subject .. also we need to lose what were errors, and stupidity out of our lives – they make no difference .. but important secrets that impact on the development of our life .. then yes – we need to get them out .. here in public I question, but be willing to admit them and know them .. in ourselves .. and then get over them .. yes very important ..

Interesting …. Hilary
.-= Hilary´s Last Fabulous Post ..Fussbudget .. a bore, or a boar … =-.


Wilma Ham March 7, 2010 at 6:33 pm

I think keeping a secret is not a stupid thing to do in this world where we do not feel safe.
Why do we keep a secret, why do you, Megan and I would think twice to share our darkest secret when we are really honest?
Because I still think there is too much judgment around, there is still too much out-of-integrity that makes me wonder what I am doing with opening up in a world to people who I cannot trust.
I also think that people are not sure of themselves either when they get entrusted with someone else deepest secret.
This is not a judgment, just a wise observation.
And when you are burdened or hold back by a secret I do think it is wise to discern who you are telling it to and a counselor or an anonymous website is, I think a good way to go for now.
However I do trust that one day we can let go of secrets as there is no longer judgment and we are all in-integrity enough to deal appropriately with these confessions.
It is interesting to bring this topic up as it shows that there is still a lot we humans have to address that affect our daily lives.
And even if we think we have no secrets how open do we dare to be with others?????
Oh Lance, when will we learn to make life light and loving and safe and an open book? xox Wilma
.-= Wilma Ham´s Last Fabulous Post ..Me and out-of-integrity family. =-.


Joy March 7, 2010 at 7:13 pm

I love this. You always manage to make me think a bit differently. I laugh as I write *that* since I tend to think differently anyway:)
I think secrets can *block us*. I think of the secrets I’ve held for others that have changed my relations with them. I think of the secrets I’ve held for myself that have changed the course of my life. I think of how I felt when I released those secrets–secrets are bundles of fear stored away collecting dust, still growing even though if they are not direclty acknowledged, releasing them requires faith, and that release allows room for more of the “good” in life. I think of the power holding my secrets gave to others who knew them–how they used that knowledge to manipulate either directly or indirectly, and I felt somehow thankful to them for keeping quiet and still accepting me.
For a few years I was in an abusive relationship–*that* was my biggest secret. I was ashamed to be in such a situation and the powerlessness I felt and the bond my secret had on me was huge. As I released little bits of information to others, my secret became less about fear and more about faith, until finally I had the courage to leave. We have to realize that everyone has a story and doesn’t love you less for your “mistakes” perhaps they even love you more for your courage to admit them. Interestingly, my then secret is something I now use frequently during inspirational speeches. I wouldn’t *dared* to have spoken about it then, now I use it to inspire 🙂
If we could all be *real* with each other, there would be no room for fear and lots of room for all else. We’d have freedom to create and embrace and experience all that is to enjoy together in life.
.-= Joy´s Last Fabulous Post ..My Weekend Away…… =-.


Angelia Sims March 7, 2010 at 7:24 pm

The first time I ever heard of this site was because of my fiance. Back in the day his (now ex) wife was obsessed with reading PostSecret’s website. It was her favorite website. In light of the fact that she MIGHT have had a pretty big secret all those years ago with a “friend” who is now her boyfriend….it brings to light for me how this site could validate anonymity and the holding on of secrets. Secret crushes, secret meetings, secret plans. Is there something about that that intrigues people? The mystery? The excitement?

I can see how it’s posted to here to help be a better person and those that hold that pain inside can be released. It IS very tragic. I had to admit a pretty tough one when I was going through my healing several years ago. It did free me of guilt and I am glad for it. Now, I am as open as I can be. Secrets have no place in my life unless they are to keep another person from harm.

Thought provoking post as always. I really enjoyed the video. Great quality.
.-= Angelia Sims´s Last Fabulous Post ..I had a dream…. =-.


Lance March 7, 2010 at 7:54 pm

@Akemi – Hi Akemi. Yes, Megan’s comment is one that has had me really thinking today…and it’s such a great point. When we are “known”, it is much harder to be completely and fully authentic to those secrets within us. The anonymity of the postcards is definitely a different feel, and one that surely does feel like it touches on deeper issues. And that really is the beauty of the Postsecret project. I’m looking forward to what you’ll be writing…

@Mark Salinas – That’s a great quote to go along with this, Mark. Secrets can burden us, weighting us down in living our life fully. And maybe just saying it – anonymously – can break the bonds that these secrets can hold. Anyway, definitely much reflecting…

@Robin Easton – Last night, my wife and I discussed this idea of the Postsecret project briefly (she was not familiar with it). And one of the things that we discussed, was right to your third point. In seeing the secrets of others – and in that, seeing something that we can relate to – it really does make us not feel so alone in this world. Because, without that, it is easy to think, secretly, that we are the only one who has ever done “x”, or thought “y”, or whatever. And the reality is…is that all of us are human, all of us have imperfections, and all of us have probably felt that alone feeling. And this has all been very introspective for me, and in thinking about life, and if there are secrets I hold, and why.

Robin, I can tell very much that this video was meaningful to you. In that, I see your shining spirit of care. And I’ll most definitely join you, dear friend, in being called Pollyanna. There is so much to be excited about in this life…and having you in it, touching my soul…makes it even better. Love and hugs on this beautiful Sunday…

@Evita – Hi Evita. And this post will always remain open, should anyone feel that calling to share a secret here. As I remarked to my wife last night, I wasn’t sure how this post today would come across. And in that, I felt that I wanted to make sure that if there was something that someone felt strongly about sharing, that it could be done in confidence. This whole post, though, felt otherwise different than others I have done. Maybe that it touches upon something that is not easy to share. I know that I personally would not feel comfortable sharing…especially if it was known who I was. Still, this felt deeply like the “right” thing to post today.

I tend to think that there are a lot of secrets out there in our world. In preparing for this post, I read somewhere that the founder of the Postsecret project receives 1,000 postcards each week, with secrets on them. To me, this tells that there are a lot of secrets out there yet today…and maybe part of it too, is this shift toward sharing those secrets, albeit anonymously. I think it is good. Very good…

And, Evita, I do see you as a very open person. Although, I also think that there are things – maybe not secrets – that no one but us might know about ourselves. Maybe these are things that have never come up, and maybe they are some sort of secret. It’s all part of our human-ness…

Thank you so much for your thoughts on all of this.

@Hilary – Hi Hilary. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this. What I find interesting about the video is that these people are very publicly admitting secrets…in a very known way. This is something Megan alluded to, in her comment. And I don’t see this as the typical form for the Postsecret project. The normal method of sharing secrets is through the sending in of anonymous postcards. These secrets feel very much like deeper issues, and I believe they do touch upon the importance of letting these secrets go. Anyway, know that your words here all help me to really think through this idea, and what it really means.

@Wilma – I like to think we live in a world where we can feel safe to share our secrets, without fear of being judged. Saying that, though, I would not come here and share a deep and personal secret. Even if I weren’t judged, I would think that I was being judged. I suppose that’s because of the society we live in today, and how easy it is to do this. So, as I watch the video, there a couple of people that really stand out – people who seem to have shared something deeper. On the one hand, this is very sad to hear them speak the words they do. On the other hand, I hope and pray that their sharing has brought them some level of peace. The normal method of sharing via Postsecret is very much an anonymous process, and one that draws nearly 1,000 secrets being mailed in every week. And it’s in that anonymity that there is a feeling of safety. And when shared, a freeing of what holds us back.

It is not easy being fully open with others. There is this fear that what we say could come back to hurt us, somehow, or that we might be thought of differently. And, sadly, I believe that can happen in our world today. Getting to that place where we can be an open book…where we can share it all, the good and the not so good…in a safe place…what a place that will be. And if that doesn’t happen here in our earthly lives, I believe very much that our life after our time here on earth will be one very much filled with this loving and caring place….

@Joy – Hi Joy. So, maybe it’s making you think EXTRA differently today! Yes, secrets do block us – they block us from being fully open, from living freely, from trusting, from believing. And I want you to know, Joy, how deeply grateful I am for you being so open and honest here today. Being in an abusive relationship couldn’t have been easy at all. And then, to keep that locked up inside, while putting up a facade of “all is good”, that had to make this just that much more difficult. Yet, as I read your words, I’m drawn into the beautiful goodness that has come from your sharing so openly in your life. And your breaking free from this secret…it is now helping other people to see what is possible. And while I am saddened that you endured this, I am also so happy for you, and for what you have turned this into by letting that secret go. Getting to that spot, what the Postsecret project is doing, is so good. Joy, thank you again for all you have shared here tonight.

@Angelia – Angelia, you bring up something that hadn’t even considered. While I tend to look at the Postsecret site as being very therepeutic, I suppose some could also see this as validation for something “bad” that they are doing. Perhaps, in seeing others with these same secrets, some might see this as justification for their own behaviors. Actually, just this thought saddens me. And yet, I also believe that what you are saying is true, and that while for some this site is a therapy of sorts, for others it might be something entirely different. And, Angelia, know that I so appreciate what you have shared here tonight. Your words just get me thinking, once again, of how there really can be so many angles in which we can view any subject. Peace to you, dear friend…


Akemi -Real Life Spirituality March 7, 2010 at 8:50 pm

You know, one thing that hit me when I first saw the video is that everyone in the video is young. As if older people don’t have secrets. After I commented, I was thinking about this more. And I noticed everyone is dressed casually but quite nicely, in new clothes. And everyone is pretty good looking. I was doing some errand in the mall and thought “If they did that interview here, people surely don’t look like that.”
Although I love the idea of sharing secrets frees us, I think this video was done with actors. Not that it is wrong to use actors, but you know — it’s not what we might think.
.-= Akemi -Real Life Spirituality´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Most Important Message =-.


Tracy Brown March 7, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Hi Lance,

Found you through Twitter tonight, and saw this post.

Funny, I heard about the PostSecret project a year or so ago in a conversation, but never followed up or looked for more details online. Really was surprised (in a good way) by this video and will go check out the website after leaving this comment.

I was really touched by the young woman who said: “I’m a lot better before you know me.” I’m sure she believes that, but I wish that wasn’t true. I bet it’s not true.

I suppose we would be caught off guard by the thoughts of the people we pass by on the street. Would we stop and try to convince them otherwise?

Thanks for sharing this video, Lance. Glad to connect with you on Twitter too.

Twitter: @happinessinside


Anonymous March 7, 2010 at 9:03 pm



Anonymous March 7, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Thought I would do a test to make sure I was remaining anonymous.

I have read this post a few times today and was surprised no one else left an anonymous secret. I was thrilled to see that some people have reached the point where they can tell their secrets and be themselves. I am not at that point.

My secret(s) that I hold onto and still control my life are that I was sexually assaulted when I was 13 and that I was a teenage prostitute.

Thanks for posting this Lance. I read every week and feel sympathy and compassion for people with terrible secrets. I don’t believe people would feel that for me. I believe there would only be loathing and revulsion.


Audra Krell March 7, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Hi again Lance. I believe it’s the culture that tells people that they are loathed and revolting and better before we really know them. I believe it’s touted in all forms of media. People cannot help but believe that they are wrong, and everyone else has it right. Anonymous is breaking my heart tonight, again, being a teenage prostitute is something that she did, it doesn’t have to be who she is. Society must understand the difference.
.-= Audra Krell´s Last Fabulous Post ..For the Love of Lent =-.


Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker March 7, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Dear Anonymous, I don’t feel loathing or revulsion because you were a teenage prostitute. Many women who were sexually abused as children turn to prostitution because they feel that they deserve to be used in that way. They feel that they are bad because of what happened to them. None of that is true.

I could have just as easily followed in your path but for the grace of God. I was blessed by certain people who showed up in my life when I needed them to. That is all that kept me off of the streets when I left home at 19 years old.

If you are interested, you can click on my name and it will take you to my blog which is about my journey through recovery from incest. In the comment section, you will find many others who were also abused as children. There is an online community of us that support each other through our journey to a better life. I used to hate myself because of the incest. I used to blame myself for the incest happening. I used to believe that I deserved to be treated that way. Today none of that is true. Today I have a family who loves me and friends who care about me.

Lance, I hope that I am not stepping on anybody’s toes with my comment. I had to say something to Anonymous. I want her to know that she isn’t alone.
.-= Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker´s Last Fabulous Post ..FEAR, The Monster =-.


Lance March 7, 2010 at 10:16 pm

@Akemi – Hi again, Akemi. Yes, everyone is typically younger in the video. Could this be done by actors? I suppose that is possible. I like to think that is not the case, that in fact, the people in the interviews are just people who are out and about during their day. So, maybe they are actors, and maybe they are just people the camera crew found one day…in either case, though, the message I take from this is one very much filled with this idea that secrets can take hold of us, and in so doing…keep us from being who we are truly meant to be. And that’s a message I love to hear, whether it’s from actors or just people on the street… (and thanks so much for coming back to share this)

@Tracy Brown – Hi Tracy. It’s great to connect with you! What I love about the Postsecret project is the deep sharing that people so openly do when the trust of anonymity is there. That’s not quite as evident in the video here today, although if you visit their website you will see this, and just how deeply people open up. And, Tracy, that particular part of the video where the young woman shares about “being a lot better before you know me” – that particular secret was one that really jumped out for me, too. I too think that it is not true, although I would guess that she believes that – that it is her reality. Those moments of feeling unworthy, or like we are “not enough”…challenging moments. When we feel that way always…I find deep sadness in that.

And your point of what we would do if we heard these thoughts as we were walking down the street…gosh, honest answer here…I don’t know if I would stop. And that’s hard for me to write. Does this show an insensitivity to the world around me? Does it say I’m “too busy” to take the time? Wow, this question hits me at my core, Tracy. What would I do? Yesterday? Tomorrow? (and thank you so much for your comment)

@Anonymous – Thank you so much for sharing so openly here tonight. What you have written takes courage. Know that you are loved. And that the past is just that…past. I see you, not for the life you were subjected to in your teenage years. I see you as a soul, a treasured life here on earth. My heart breaks that you suffered in what should have been happy childhood years. Still, you are something much deeper than that. And I do feel sympathy and compassion for you, and my hope is that in sharing this here tonight, you find some peace in your heart. And know that you are always welcome here… Peace and caring love to you…

@Audra – Media certainly does send a message that can be negative to how we might perceive ourselves. And that can very much set us up for beliefs that are rooted in seeing the “bad” within us. And that is NOT us. we are so much more. And teenage prostitution, as shared by Anonymous…is one I look at only with compassion. Done as a child, along with being sexually assaulted too, has to be such a very difficult moment. And I feel a deep longing, right now, to tell Anonymous that it is okay, that has passed, and that there is love in this world…for her…always… (Peace to you, Audra, for being here today….)

@Patricia – Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker — Patricia, you have not overstepped any bounds here. Know that I deeply appreciate the time you have taken to come back here, and to offer your site up as a resource. What you have shared touches upon that feeling we get when these secrets build up. And in opening up to sharing these “secrets”, we open the door to new life. Peace and blessings to you….


Laurie March 7, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Dear Anonymous,
I never suffered like you did. I was never sexually assaulted. I never felt that I had to sell my body. Unlike Patricia, I don’t have an experience similar so I don’t know how you feel but I can tell you that I don’t feel repulsed by you. I feel like I want to bust through my computer screen and give you a huge hug and let you know you are a worthwhile person. I am so sorry that happened to you. I think it is time for you to give yourself the grace you deserve. No one is better than you. No one is worth more than you. You, my friend, are a gift from God.


Marelisa Fabrega March 7, 2010 at 11:05 pm

What a great video. I think that a lot of people are weighed down by their secrets, but if they just come out and share them they realize that when they say them out loud it’s not as bad as it sounded in their head. And to Anonymous, it sounds to me like you’re a survivor, and that’s something you should be proud of.
.-= Marelisa Fabrega´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Sedona Method – Let Go of Negative Emotions and Limiting Beliefs =-.


Anonymous 2 March 7, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I think that we all have something that we don’t believe is necessary to share with the entire world… unfortunately sometimes those things can hold us back.

My secret is that my son believes that my husband is his biological father. It pains me to ‘lie’ to him as I always believe that honesty in most situations is far better. But out of respect for my husband I have decided to keep this a secret. For now….

Thank you for sharing this clip Lance.


Steven Aitchison March 7, 2010 at 11:56 pm

Lance, what a wonderful, inspiring, positive and sad post. I could see the relief in the eyes of the people who were giving up their secret and sometimes the joy at being able to release it.

I also wanted to say to Anonymous that I did not feel revulsion, I felt compassion for them and anger at the situation they must have been in to do this. I hope sharing their secret has helped.
.-= Steven Aitchison´s Last Fabulous Post ..Using EFT to Change Your Life – Video =-.


Lance March 8, 2010 at 4:33 am

@Laurie – Laurie, thank you for this. Your words give me hope that our world is filled with people who care deeply. I know that you do, and I feel that here tonight very much in your compassionate words. I also know this is a part of you, always, and that makes me smile. Laurie…peace and love to you…

@Marelisa – I believe there is something very freeing in letting out that which we have kept locked up inside of us. What a wonderful gift the Postsecret project is, allowing a method for people to do this anonymously. And, Mare, thank you so much for the compassionate words for Anonymous. Peace to you this Monday morning.

@Anonymous 2 – I first want to thank you for courageously sharing your secret here today. As a parent, I read these words and wonder…what would I do? There are so many shades of grey. And I can feel in your words, very much, this sense of doing what is right. And that’s all part of the grey area, too. I’m sure this is not easy. So, know that your heart knows, and when that moment is right – you will know. I’m sure that doesn’t make any of this easier. I hope that you have found some small bit of peace from sharing here. And, just know that you are an amazing person, and are filled with everything you need to share this information when it is right. Peace and love to you…

@Steven – Hi Steven. It is all of that – inspiring, positive, and sad. This video really touches upon so many emotions. And that reminds me that we al have these emotions, these moments where we touch both high points and low points in our life. Being able to share that, in whatever way works for each of us – can be so good. And that’s why I love the Postsecret project – there’s this way they provide for people to share secrets, and release some of that “something” that has been locked up inside.

And Steven, thank you so much for your words of care to Anonymous. You are a wonderful soul. Peace, my friend…


Cheryl Paris March 8, 2010 at 4:59 am

Hello Lance,

How are you doing?
Yes secret is something what we do not reveal it to others and keep it for ourselves. I don’t know how long but yeah we have done that and may also do it in future.
I remember as a kid I was learning a speech for the school competition and while rehearsal in front of the mirror I leaned against the mirror and I broke the 5-6 ft tall mirror. Well and I was afraid a bit what will I tell my parents if they come back… So when my parents questioned we all said ” we don’t know and we all did it”. Well sure my parents knew something was up and the kids are trying to protect one another so they finally gave up the thought of asking us repeatedly. They were happy by the thought that the kids know how to back another one if a problem occurs and how to be a team also.
Well years later I told my parents that this is what happened the night I broke the mirror accidentally.

Bye for now,
.-= Cheryl Paris´s Last Fabulous Post ..6 Easy Tips To Keep Your Fears From Holding YOU Back – Discover Your Talents Now! =-.


Dave Raybould March 8, 2010 at 6:54 am

My brother has the book called “post secret”. The concept is absolutely awesome.

I love the way that this video is shot. It’s really emotionally engaging.

I’m not going to share my secret here today though.

Thanks for posting this, very thought provoking.
.-= Dave Raybould´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Ultimate Guide To Buying A Snowboard Part 6: How Much Money To Spend And How To Save Some =-.


Jody - Fit at 52 March 8, 2010 at 7:52 am

OK Lance, I need to come back to this cause I don’t have quite the time I need to digest this right now.. did get into a little bit though & just love this! This statement intrigued me: The concept behind this project is around the idea that sometimes when we are keeping a secret, it is really that secret that is keeping us.

I have to watch the whole video & then make a comment on all that. Thx as always for making us think!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s Last Fabulous Post ..Diet & Fitness health! =-.


J.D. Meier March 8, 2010 at 10:18 am

I can’t believe the one kid actually admitted it … he hates peanut butter and jelly. That’s really pushing the limit. That said, I bet he feels lighter having got it off his chest. It’s great to breathe easier and move on 🙂
.-= J.D. Meier´s Last Fabulous Post ..Less is More, Slower is Better =-.


Laura Neff - Life Leadership Coach March 8, 2010 at 10:27 am

Wow–what a powerful post and stream of comments! I’ve seen & heard about PostSecret, but it’s been a while.

I noticed that when the video was ending, my stomach was in a knot…like a heart-wrenched knot but in my stomach. It struck me that we all have secrets, many that we don’t want to look at regularly, and immediately upon finishing the video, I thought what Megan said above…that aside from just a few individuals, it felt like the “secrets” shared were fairly surface. BUT, then I realized that, for me, what I can’t know for sure is the level of authenticity/transparency each of these individuals expresses on a daily basis, how insulated they keep themselves. So, someone who struck me as being “surface” might have really been going for it. And even for those who did keep it on the lighter side, I’ll bet they walked away from the camera thinking more deeply about their secrets that live beneath the layers.

Audra’s comment resonated, too…my heart hurt for that young woman!

Animals don’t have secrets, I don’t think. Maybe a dog that buries a bone, or a ferret that “secrets” away sparkly baubles. But, as I think about animals, birds, there’s something in me that aches to feel that level of “just being.”

Authenticity is something I’m hard at work on, so this video was extremely timely, Lance. (As always! How do you always know? :)) It made me realize just how deep the layers go in terms of what I’m willing to share, examine, share, examine…and the journey continues.

Big hugs,


Joy March 8, 2010 at 11:35 am

I came back to reread this. What you have shared in this spot is so amazing. You have such a big heart, and inspire so many people. Thank you!

I am glad you received some anonymous posts. How relieved they must feel. This is a spot of security and love, enabling your readers to heal. Wondrous Lance. Blessings!
.-= Joy´s Last Fabulous Post ..My Weekend Away…… =-.


Lori (Jane Be Nimble) March 8, 2010 at 11:49 am

Thanks for posting this, Lance. I wanted to come back this morning and watch the video again, so I could really think much more about it.

The video is amazing and really pulled at my heart. I discovered the Post Secret site a few months ago, and believe it to be an amazing site. Thanks for sharing the video, I hadn’t seen it before.

Hugs to you and to all who visit this beautiful place.
.-= Lori (Jane Be Nimble)´s Last Fabulous Post ..RAOKA: Passion =-.


Aurora March 8, 2010 at 11:50 am

Secrets are so dangerous and self-destructive.
Mine is that I often wish my parents were dead.
Or that I wish I looked like Megan Fox on the outside, but got to keep my brain and soul and heart.
Or that I use baby wipes after I’ve gone number 2.


Lance March 8, 2010 at 12:28 pm

@Cheryl Paris – Hi Cheryl. You bring up an interesting thought. So, there is this way in which we can share a secret with others. And there is this idea about protecting that secret, too. And that is good. I think it’s also worth us thinking about if the secret we have become privy to, if it is in some way protecting someone else from something they have done. And I am not saying that the mirror you broke is something that should be grounds for some punishment…just that there is a line there, of crossing over from right to wrong. It just has me thinking, as you shared your comment, that there is a fine line of supporting a friend/family member/etc, and helping them get the help they need. Just thinking out loud as I type this today, and – Cheryl – thank you for sharing this story.

@Dave Raybould – The Postsecret concept is pretty amazing on many levels. The biggest for me is the connection to other people, through a simple postcard…and to the realization that we are not alone in this great big world.

@Jody – This idea that a secret can be keeping…I think about that and how a secret can hold us captive to it. And it’s not until we share it, that we are able to break the bonds that it holds on us. And I find that to be very powerful.

@J.D. Meier – PB&J…it’s almost like candy!! Well…I think so, anyway. And I think there’s really something to this idea that we can breathe easier, having shared something that is both personal and a secret. Whether that’s something as simple as peanut butter, or some of life’s more complex issues.

@Laura Neff – Hi Laura. Seeing others share secrets, some that were feeling, even on just the surface, as painful – there is a level of sadness to that. And Megan made a wonderful point of how many of these come across as really surface-level secrets. Maybe it’s a start at something deeper for these people. Maybe not. Maybe just saying this “lighter” secret opens the door to even seeing other secrets there…hidden… And that’s what I take from your comment, Laura. And I love that point – that even in the sharing of something light, it might lead to something much deeper. And even if that is for just one person, it is so worth it.

So…to be more like animals. There is nothing there to hide. They are in their moment. What a place to be at! Which goes to show, that we can learn so much from everything around us – everything. So, thinking of animals, I love this thought, too, Laura.

And Laura, I just want you to know that I see you as filled with authenticity. From conversations, to your writing, to just you being “you”…I see so much authenticity, and so much real-ness in who you are. So, you ARE doing that. And I suppose, no matter where we are on our journeys, there is always room to be even more authentic in our living. You are, though, and it is so refreshing to witness. Peace and warm hugs….

@Joy – Joy, thank you so much for coming back today. Your words and caring kindness touch me deeply. And as much as I provide this space, I believe it is in the caring community that has developed here – that provides a level of trust and security. And that is you, and everyone who shares so openly…making this place what it has become. I am deeply grateful for your presence here, dear friend…

@Lori – Lori, it is good to “see” you here today. You have been such a shining light of love here and in my life. And this video really touches upon that, I think…this real belief that deep down, we all want to be loved. You give that so wonderfully…and I am so grateful for all of that. Peace and love to you, today and always.

@Aurora – Hi Aurora. What you have shared, I think it touches upon the gamut of how our secrets might come across. Some are more superficial, and yet they still hold meaning to us. Others touch us at our core of how we perceive ourselves, and some touch upon much deeper feelings we have inside. Reading your comment today, I am pulled towards your thoughts toward your parents. My hope is that you are at peace with where life is at for you, and know that I am here, if you want to talk more about this. And thank you so much for sharing a part of your secrets here today.


Karl Staib - Work Happy Now March 8, 2010 at 12:37 pm

That is a very powerful video. I’m a big fan of We all have secrets that we are afraid of, but when we get them out there we realize that they are really not that scary.
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s Last Fabulous Post ..Energize Your Workday with a Spiritual Meditation =-.


Jodi at Joy Discovered March 8, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Hi Lance!
I love the concept of PostSecret–I think the website is great; I think the coffee table book of it is great. I think the best part about it is the anonymity and also the way in which the entries are artistically and sometimes humorously expressed. I hope that when these secrets are submitted there is a sense of relief experienced. Secrets can hold on to us and keep us rooted in fear or shame or whatever.
Fun post!! Hope you are great!
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s Last Fabulous Post ..Ten-Second Kiss =-.


Blue Bunny March 8, 2010 at 3:25 pm

deere, lanse! hi, it’s me — blue bunny, my jannie’s bloging manigir! you remembeers me??

my jannie has a post sekrit wot i gonna tell yoo now…


my jannie’s sekrit that she one time steeled a candy from the stor. and she amost strangiled the cat, by mistake. i bet she wood feel mutch beter if she new i told yool

that’s all.

blue bunny.
.-= Blue Bunny´s Last Fabulous Post ..Why Subscribe To My Blog? =-.


Tracy Brown March 8, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Lance, just a quick note. I wanted to let you know that the time you take to respond to comments posted here is very much appreciated. I know that can, well, take a lot of time. (How’s that for the obvious?) Again, glad we connected via Twitter. Will watch for your tweets. ~ Tracy


Anonymous March 8, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.


Jenn March 8, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Lance, this is so beautiful! It is so amazing to me how asking better questions really can break through so many barriers that want to be torn down. I’ve been trying to get some more walls knocked down so that I can be gushing rivers from my heart again and this helped with a few more.. I think my greatest secret is that people think I’m so strong but really I’m afraid if I let go again I’ll completely fall apart. I’m afraid of being a nothing after going through so much. It’s like I have this label on me that says “resiliency” and I’ve come to despise it. I struggled tonight with the reality that I thought I was at war with “softness” which is who I am and that but I’m realizing now that it is all perception and although experience has brought me to rise up to resiliency I can still let my guard down and fall into softness. okay so yes the secret did have me for a very long time. I’m realizing it now .. Thank you 😉 luv Jenn
.-= Jenn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mondays: Choose Your Tea Leaves and Your Dreams =-.


Laurie March 8, 2010 at 10:19 pm

@ Aurora- I understand about your parents. My hub has felt the same way, justifiable so. Having the thoughts don’t make you bad. It just shows you have had too much crap to deal with concerning them.

Baby wipes? My bo bo is very valuable and has to last me many years. Flushable baby wipes are a must for my tender tush. I say it proudly, “I USE BABY WIPES TOO!”

Bottom line: We all need grace. Not only from others but from ourselves!


FatFighterTV March 9, 2010 at 12:01 am

Interesting way of looking at secrets. I have a few secrets that I am actually keeping for others, so I guess I better not spill…
.-= FatFighterTV´s Last Fabulous Post ..Food for Thought: Soft drink alternatives =-.


Tess The Bold Life March 9, 2010 at 3:10 am

I find that site amazing. I don’t keep many if any secrets from my hubs and never have. It’s partly because how I “process” is by sharing and talking things through. I also think it’s the key ingredient to our successful relationship…honesty, truth and authenticity.
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s Last Fabulous Post ..Bold Solutions For A New World =-.


Lance March 9, 2010 at 4:46 am

@Karl – Hey Karl. Yes, when we share these secrets we have, even anonymously, this helps to take their shackles off of us. That’s a much better place to be. And this really does make the Postsecret project so great, in this resource that is provided for everyone…

@Jodi – Hi Jodi. Something we haven’t really discussed has been the artitisic ways that people submit secrets. It really becomes one more way to expressing feelings, through art. And that really can add much to the words that are used, too. And I do believe that in sharing these secrets, people do find some level of comfort, which is so good. Thanks much, Jodi.

@Blue Bunny – Hey there Blue Bunny. I DO remember you! I sense Jannie is feeling better right about now. I wonder if she almost strangled the cat, right after eating the stolen candy bar???

@Tracy Brown – Hi again Tracy! Ha! (the obvious part…) You know, yes there is some time involved n responding to comments. What I get out of these comments, though, is so deeply good for me personally. It is very much like a two-way street within these comments. Anyway, know that I appreciate not only you being here, but also the time you have taken from your schedule to share very meaningful comments.

@Anonymous – Thank you again for being so open and honest. Really, your sharing helps others to see how freeing this can be. I hope for you that your healing continues.

@Jenn – Hi Jenn. Sometimes the hardest thing can be living up what we perceive others to see in us. And when we think we might be letting someone else down, because we believe we are falling short of some quality in ourselves, this can weigh heavily on us. Jenn, that is what I sense here today. And I want you to know that it’s okay. You are an amazing, caring, and loving person. And this shines through even brighter, here as I read your words. It does, because you come across as so real. Feel the softness of you, and of what is within you. And know that I wish very much for you, days ahead that are filled with love and caring. Big hugs…

@Laurie – Thank you again, Laurie, for coming here to share and connect. Dealing with challenging moments with people who are very much a part of our life can create some tension. And that’s okay to admit, and when we do – we can connect to the feelings more easily, and perhaps the real reasons underlying all of this. Anyway, know that I appreciate all your time here this week. Peace…

@FatFighterTV – Hi Sahar. And secrets that others have shared with us, there is a sacredness in keeping those secrets. When there are personal secrets that we have held from everyone, and it might feel like there is no easy place to turn with all of these, the Postsecret project is a true gift in those moments.

@Tess – Hi Tess. Having a relationship based upon honest, trust, and authenticity are key. And you are a shining example of this, as I look at what you and your husband have created – and how that very much touches upon a genuine open-ness between you two. For those moments where we might feel like there is no one to turn to, the Postsecret project is such a wonderful concept…


Zeenat{Positive Provocations} March 9, 2010 at 7:56 am

Dearest Lance,
I will be honest….I saw this video..and was too moved to type…so i tweeted it..cause this concept is such a necessity in today’s society..and the more people know about this…the better it will be for them.
I have been coming here everyday since sunday.and reading the comments…those anonymous comments made me cry…literally made me weep. More so cause i feel like i am helpless…..I want to help everyone…and this anonymous comment just made me realise how minuscule my hands are…cause they cant reach everyone…
Lance please pray …..that God gives me the strength to do something which will indeed be able to help and heal ALL those who truly need it. And a bigger prayer to God that may everyone’s pains and worries just dissolve and vanish and be replaced with love and beauty.Amen
Much Love to you my friend…
p.s. as for my secrets….i have a few….but they are well tucked away…and resolved…they dont rule my existence anymore.Thank God 🙂


Jenn March 9, 2010 at 8:29 am

Thank you Lance! I wanted to say you “nailed it” for me and this is what it is:

“we believe we are falling short of some quality in ourselves, this can weigh heavily on us. ”

that has been a heavy burden to carry.
I had much peace last night and am shifting perspective slightly which is making a difference.

thanks again for your encouragement and for your gift of being Real,
you are much appreciated!


Jenn March 9, 2010 at 8:30 am

oops that is not my site above 😉
.-= Jenn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Mondays: Choose Your Tea Leaves and Your Dreams =-.


scheng1 March 9, 2010 at 8:42 am

I think the next development will be the seeking forgiveness part. After sharing the secrets, the sharer will want to seek forgiveness and live with a clean conscious.
.-= scheng1´s Last Fabulous Post ..How to save money with healthy eating habits =-.


Lance March 9, 2010 at 9:44 pm

@Zeenat – Hi Zeenat. This is such a wonderful project, this Postsecret project. Just by sharing a secret, people all over the world are able to feel even just some relief from the hell that they may be dealing with on the inside. And it touches others, too…those reading these secrets…and seeing maybe themselves in others. And in that, not feeling so alone. The comments shared by both of the anonymous commenters here was a real act of courage. The words were hard to read…hard in that it touched upon the human soul…a hurting soul. So, maybe we can’t help everyone. We can help one, though. Right. Many one’s. And you are, Zeenat. I know you are. Your heart is overflowing with love and compassion. So, know that I DO lift you up in prayer, dear friend. And I know that so many will continue to receive the compassion of your heart, your hands, you. Love and peace to you, sweet friend…

@Jenn- Jenn, it is my hope that you are able to set that heavy burden down. What I see in you is filled with a deep love for the world. Maybe there are moments that you don’t feel like you are at your best. And we all have those moments. That’s okay. You still shine such amazing care and love…and just know that it is sustaining. (and I fixed the site). Peace, dear friend….

@Scheng1 – It’s a journey for each of us…down this path of maybe sharing our secrets, and then moving on to what the next step is (which might be forgiveness, or maybe reconciliation, or support, or a myriad of other possibilities). thanks much for the thought.


Anonymous March 9, 2010 at 9:50 pm

Hey Lance, my secret is this: It’s actually Mike from LearnThis… Seriously though, this is a cool article and its amazing to see how selective people’s secrets are in fact. The risk of secrets is gossip and so it can be a dangerous game to play when they are told selectively.


Lance March 10, 2010 at 5:03 am

@Anonymous (Mike) – Hi Mike. And that is what can hold us back from sharing secrets of our own…this idea that people might use them behind our back, gossip about them, or ridicule us because of them. In an ideal world, this wouldn’t happen. And yet, it does. I really believe that’s what makes the normal “postcard” method of secret sharing – as done typically by the Postsecret project – so meaningful. It becomes a way for people to share their secrets anonymously, without the fear of what might happen because someone knows. Anyway, great thoughts, and very true what you have shared.


Jennifer Lynn March 11, 2010 at 11:21 am

Powerful message.

Secrets have power. We give them power. The power to protect us and erode us at the same time. Letting them go is not easy or trivial….even the small ones. Giving them voice makes you face the issue, hurt, and truth……easier said than done, even anonymously.

Great post, Lance!!
.-= Jennifer Lynn´s Last Fabulous Post ..Kentucky has more than banjos! =-.


Caroline March 12, 2010 at 1:18 am

WOW..again you get me thinking. I don’t keep secrets (well besides, Santa and the Toothfairy). But really, I can’t. The guilt of hiding something would eat away at me. My Mom kept a secret about being married before my Father…she hid that from me and my brother…I found out through my step-mother when I was 15. I was really angry. And I thought…why keep that?

p.s Loooove the new header!!!
.-= Caroline´s Last Fabulous Post ..Becoming something… =-.


Lance March 12, 2010 at 5:38 am

@Jennifer Lynn – Hi Jennifer. You are so right…talking about sharing a secret and actually doing it are two completely separate things. Even when done anonymously, there is something that can hold us back…perhaps that realization that we are facing this secret within ourselves. Thanks so much for being here.

@Caroline – I’m smiling…Santa and the Tooth Fairy! (those ARE good secrets to keep!) Caroline, you bring up a really great point. Sometimes when we keep secrets from others – if/when they find out, this can create very tense moments. So, that’s a wonderful realization that you’ve had, and I’m sure it will continue to serve you well. There is real benefit to being open.

And – thank YOU (re: the new header)!! I have a real fondness for it, myself!


Anonymous 3 March 15, 2010 at 12:12 pm

My Secret is that I cheated on my husband, but wasn’t really able to say no to the guy, so I’m not sure if it was all my fault or his. If he ever knew he’d leave me for sure. Things weren’t good then and I didn’t know what to do. Things are better now and I don’t ever want him to find out.


A Anonymous March 15, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Wow, can’t believe I’m going to admit this, but if others can admit the sad and unhappy things that they have done or had done, I can do it, besides no one really knows who I am.

When I get really depressed, I cut myself. I generally hide it from people, and those I try to show it to, don’t get it. Even those who know I’ve done it in the past, don’t recognize the behavior associated with it. Sometimes it feels as though I’m invisible to my friends.


Jenny March 15, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Wow Lance! Who knew just by asking that so many people would open up. I’m not sure I could do that, even if it was anonymously. These people have courage that I don’t.
.-= Jenny´s Last Fabulous Post ..Asking for a Miracle by the Pool =-.


Lance March 15, 2010 at 3:37 pm

@Anonymous 3 – It takes great courage to share secrets, especially those that touch upon a deeper part of who we are. What I sense in your comment, very much, is that you are in a much better place in your marriage today. And I think we all make some choices that we might later question what we were thinking. The truth is that this relationship happened. That cannot be changed. What you can do, today, is continue to be love in the relationship you have with your husband…whatever that means to you. If that means you share this with him, or not, is a choice in your heart. Just know that you are valued here, and that this is also not a place of judgment. And may you find some peace and comfort from having shared your secret here. Peace and love to you…

@A Anonymous – I first want you to know that you are truly anonymous here. It takes courage to share parts of us that touch upon the deeper being we are. So, what you are doing today is deeply moving to me, that you have entrusted this space to share your secret.

Life is a beautiful thing. And yet, there can be moments when we might wonder – “for what purpose”? Perhaps that is where you are at in these moments of deeper depression. Even if it may not always feel like it, know that you are loved. That people care. That I care. You are a beautiful soul…always remember that. And know that you can share here anonymously at any time. And I also want you to know that I am out here, and if you ever want to talk further, you can reach me via my “Contact Me” page. Anytime…. Peace and abundant love….

@Jenny – Hi Jenny. It really does take a lot of courage to share those deeper secrets we sometimes harbor inside. And yet, when we do – this can open up the start of a healing process. I appreciate very much, the honesty you have shared here today…a thought that I am sure many people have when it comes to secrets within a deeper part of our soul.


Jenny March 18, 2010 at 10:11 am

Thanks Lance! Sometimes it’s hard to keep up the facade that everything is ok when it’s clearly not. That’s a secret I keep a lot of the time. I try not to drag friends into my turmoil, even when they tell me I can call them if I need them. Sometimes calling them is the hardest thing in the world and in the past when I have, sometimes it backfires or I chicken out. When I feel like I really need a friend, I try to get them to understand that I need them but usually they don’t get the hints I drop or things I show them. An anonymous website where people can tell their secrets isn’t such a bad idea, even though they aren’t telling someone, just telling it sometimes helps.

After re-reading this comment, I hope it makes sense, I’m not all with it this morning!
.-= Jenny´s Last Fabulous Post ..Asking for a Miracle by the Pool =-.


Lance March 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm

I think that in those moments when we share a secret, or some of the turmoil that might be going on in our lives…there is this fear that we’ll look like we’re messed up, or weak, or we don’t have things together. And the truth is…all of us have these moments of turmoil. Still, I think I know what you are saying…and I can relate. And dropping hints just doesn’t feel right either…when you really want someone to listen. Jenny, I’m not sure if any of this really helps…but I also just want you to know that I’m here if you ever want someone to talk to…always….


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