“The pur­pose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste expe­ri­ence to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and with­out fear for newer and richer expe­ri­ences.” ~ Eleanor Roo­sevelt

Today I have Greg Ryan with us.  I met Greg in June of this year, dur­ing our time together work­ing on the play “Our Town”, which we both per­formed in.  Greg is here, shar­ing what this act­ing expe­ri­ence has meant for him.

Greg and I had a cou­ple of scenes we were in together, and I’m really tempted to keep call­ing him Mr. Webb (his stage name)!

With that…Greg (errr…Mr. Webb), take it away!

An Actor’s Experience

Com­mu­nity The­ater is an odd bird.  Some peo­ple don’t con­sider it “real the­ater” because it’s not per­formed on one of the big-name stages.  The pro­duc­tions are often found in high school audi­to­ri­ums or back-rooms that you could walk right by if you weren’t look­ing for them .  This pro­duc­tion of “Our Town” was at Sum­mer­Stage, an out­door the­ater in the mid­dle of Lapham Peak State Park, about 30 min­utes out­side of the Mil­wau­kee area.  It’s a lovely the­ater, but it’s def­i­nitely in an odd loca­tion off the beaten path.

Even though I’m over 50, I’m still rel­a­tively new to act­ing. So when a direc­tor casts me I expe­ri­ence a flurry of emo­tions.  I’m ini­tially flat­tered since the direc­tor is essen­tially trust­ing me with the pro­duc­tion. In my short tenure, I’ve seen first­hand how one actor can jeop­ar­dize an entire pro­duc­tion. This mem­ory helps the flat­tery to fade and I turn my atten­tions to my next emo­tion: worry.  Can I actu­ally do it?  Can I mem­o­rize my lines?  Can I really BE this other person?

Under­neath all these ques­tions is the real­ity that I’m putting much of the rest of my life on hold dur­ing weeks of rehearsal and, finally, the play’s run.  For the next two months or so, many evenings and
week­ends revolve around the stage.  Actors spend less time with friends and fam­ily; even their careers can get upstaged.  Will this deci­sion affect their long term rela­tion­ships?  My wife wasn’t all that happy when I took this role because she felt that sum­mer is such a long-awaited time in Wis­con­sin and we’d miss out on activ­i­ties we’d nor­mally do together. Luck­ily, after she observed me falling in love
with this play, she became more under­stand­ing and supportive.

Of all the plays I’ve acted in, none have made me think more about being human than Our Town.  It’s rather amaz­ing, con­sid­er­ing that dur­ing the read through I thought it came off as corny and dated.  But
the more I rehearsed and saw my fel­low actors assum­ing their roles, the more I real­ized that the play is time­less.  Sure, some of the words we spoke may have been from the early 1900’s but the thoughts
that they expressed still ring true today.  How do you feel about a new­born baby?  Or when you dis­cover that the per­son you love actu­ally loves you back?  How would you feel if both your chil­dren died before
you did?

Con­nie Gehl, the actress who played my wife in “Our Town,” needed to cry dur­ing the per­for­mance.  Her sor­row was so con­vinc­ing that I, as her hus­band, was com­pelled to com­fort her so she was not alone in her grief.  Her per­for­mance pulled me in and, I believe, helped me truly embody my part as Charles Webb.  It was just one of the won­der­ful aspects of this production.

Mem­o­ries and Emotions

I’d like to share two more won­der­ful mem­o­ries of this show.  I was mov­ing fur­ni­ture from the stage to another build­ing.  One of the younger actresses stopped me and we chat­ted pleas­antly for a moment.  She said that she just loved inter­act­ing with all these cre­ative peo­ple and she obvi­ously was includ­ing me.  Still feel­ing like a new­comer to the the­ater, I was inwardly sur­prised and flat­tered.  Am I actu­ally an actor?  I guess I am.

The other moment occurred dur­ing the wed­ding scene.  I play the father of Emily, the hes­i­tant bride.  At the begin­ning of the scene, she’s scared and looks to her father for reas­sur­ance.  After a lit­tle
father-daughter chat, I kiss her fore­head, drape her veil over her head and walk her down the aisle.   Well, I walked my own daugh­ter down the wed­ding aisle about three years ago.  This is a priv­i­lege
that fathers of girls have enjoyed for cen­turies and it may be the only time I ever do that in real life.  But because of this play, I was able to relive the expe­ri­ence dur­ing every per­for­mance.   And my
“real” daugh­ter saw the show, too.

When a show ends, I expe­ri­ence more emo­tions.  Sor­row that the pro­duc­tion is fin­ished.  Per­haps, relief too.   I com­muted about 40 min­utes to the venue, but the major­ity of the actors live out in the
Delafield area so I may never work with or even see many of them again.  I’m wist­ful when I real­ize that these peo­ple have passed through a brief part of my life.

Although I do feel sor­row,  grat­i­tude is the emo­tion that over rides all the oth­ers.  I’m grate­ful that Diane Pow­ell cast me in this play.  I’m grate­ful that I was able to work with Ethan, Mason, Amanda,
Con­nie and Lance as well as the rest of the cast and crew.  I’m grate­ful that we had good weather for all of our pro­duc­tion dates. I’m grate­ful to the audi­ence who usu­ally laughed at the right times. I’m grate­ful to my body and brain for hang­ing in there and allow­ing me to phys­i­cally and men­tally han­dle the part.  I’m grate­ful to my wife, Brooke, for sup­port­ing me in a very per­sonal endeavor.  I’m grate­ful to Face­book because it allows me to know some new friends even if they turn out to be temporary.

Well, on to the next audi­tion.  I’ve just been cast in a new one act play, but I’m con­fi­dent that this pro­duc­tion of “Our Town” will stay with me until I play in my own real life funeral scene.

You can keep up with Greg at his per­sonal web­site — Our Next Thing, and on Face­book.

“Life isn’t about find­ing your­self. Life is about cre­at­ing your­self.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Ear­lier this month I wrote about my word of the year for 2011 (SHINE).  This has become a very mean­ing­ful prac­tice, as I really focus on one word, at a deeper level.  As mean­ing­ful as this has been, it is also a won­der­ful expe­ri­ence for me to reflect back on the pre­vi­ous year, and really “see” how that cho­sen word man­i­fested itself in my life.

Today I’m doing exactly that, as I review 2010, and my word that I chose last Jan­u­ary:  SPLASH!.

It’s an honor to be shar­ing these thoughts with Stacey Curnow, some­one who really embraces the idea of liv­ing life from a place of deep mean­ing.  So, today I invite you to join me over at Stacey’s site, Mid­wife For Your Life, as I review 2010 and the word SPLASH in my life. 

Hint:  I don’t think any of my splashes looked exactly like that up above (although I cer­tainly have some crazy kids around here who find that this is a great way to greet the water!)

~ Com­ments Closed ~

This arti­cle is from Evita Ochel, writer at the Evolv­ing Beings web­site.  Evita writes very deeply from a place of mean­ing and pur­pose.  Today she shares her words and insights here.

Life Hap­pi­ness Lessons: What I Learned From a Duck

“The pur­pose of learn­ing is growth, and our minds, unlike our bod­ies, can con­tinue grow­ing as we con­tinue to live.” ~ Mor­timer Adler

Liv­ing on a water­front, in a more nat­ural envi­ron­ment, I have the plea­sure to observe and inter­act with nature in many ways. Whether it is the sun, the wind, the water or any of nature’s immac­u­late liv­ing species — Nature is an amaz­ing teacher. If we allow our­selves to fully see, hear and expe­ri­ence what she presents, we open our­selves up to a wise and infi­nite teacher.

In doing so, we open our­selves up to learn­ing about our­selves, our envi­ron­ment and all that is in it. We invite into our­selves learn­ing oppor­tu­ni­ties that can nour­ish our being and soul, and move us for­ward along the path of our per­sonal growth and evolution. 

One of my most recent teach­ers has been a lit­tle vis­i­tor to our prop­erty, whom in allow­ing myself to observe, I learned more from, than per­haps any book or guru. I named our lit­tle vis­i­tor Ethel — and Ethel is a duck. I warmly share with you here today, in Lance’s won­der­ful space, four things that I learned from Ethel for liv­ing out a happy life.

1. Enjoy the Full­ness of Each Moment
It only takes a few min­utes of watch­ing Ethel, to tap into a com­pletely dif­fer­ent space and time. A space in fact, where time does not exist — where there is sim­ply — now — this moment.

Ethel knows how to enjoy her being, her life and her envi­ron­ment. She is never in a rush to do the “next” thing. She is fully immersed in being. She fully takes in each moment.  With Ethel, there is no multi-tasking. When she is swim­ming, she is in the moment of swim­ming. When she is groom­ing, she is fully focused on groom­ing. The same goes for her rest and feeding.  

May you always remem­ber, to enjoy the full­ness of each moment of your life. Each moment is pre­cious and holds a gift for us, in what it can allow us to be, feel and experience.

2. Be Open To Receiv­ing
On a few occa­sions, I allowed myself to offer Ethel some food. It was a per­sonal expe­ri­ence that I felt was right for me, and allowed me to inter­act and con­nect with Ethel on a dif­fer­ent dimen­sion. Each time, Ethel received passionately.

How many times are you open to receiv­ing, when another being is offer­ing you their help, kind­ness, hos­pi­tal­ity or any other pos­i­tive ges­ture? How open is your heart to wel­come in their per­sonal expres­sion of love?

May you always remem­ber that ‘in giv­ing, you receive’ — and ‘in receiv­ing, you give’. It is only when we allow for this bal­ance within our hearts, that we allow our­selves and oth­ers around us the fullest expres­sion of love.

3. Have a Per­sonal Enough
In those few times that I fed Ethel, one of the most remark­able things was watch­ing Ethel know when she had enough. Ethel may not know when or where her next meal will come from, but she knows that fill­ing up too much at one time, is not going to help her.

Do you have your own “enough”?  Whether it is hav­ing “enough” food, or drink or of an activ­ity, a healthy bal­ance is one of the surest way for a happy life. In our soci­ety, we are not always so good at our per­sonal bound­aries of “enough”. We overindulge in var­i­ous things.

Whether it be some­thing phys­i­cal, emo­tional or spir­i­tual, may you find that sacred space within of know­ing when you have had “enough” — as over­fill­ing on any­thing leads us out of bal­ance, and away from liv­ing out the hap­pi­est life ever.

4. Know When To Move On
As of a few days ago, I stopped see­ing Ethel, but I caught glimpse above head of the ducks fly­ing off in groups. Ethel knew that it would not serve her to stay here forever. 

Although a long flight to a warmer cli­mate is going to take time and effort, and the jour­ney holds a lot of unknowns, Ethel knew that ulti­mately this would be for her high­est good. She knew when her present envi­ron­ment no longer served her, and when it was time to move on.

In the same way, we can look at our own per­sonal rela­tion­ships and places where we reside. Are we open to change and know­ing when it is time to move on?  Are we will­ing to embrace a bit of the unknown, to ben­e­fit our high­est good?

Whether it is a rela­tion­ship with some­one, a work­place, a neigh­bor­hood or a per­sonal ven­ture, may you always know when it is time to move on for your high­est good. Trust that in let­ting go and mov­ing on, you too, will find ‘bet­ter cli­mates’.

“Those who con­tem­plate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.” ~ Rachel Carson

You can keep up with Evita by sub­scrib­ing to her blog, and fol­low­ing her on Twit­ter.

I have a spe­cial guest vis­it­ing today.  Vanessa, from Vanes­saLeigh, is here and shar­ing a deeply per­sonal part of her own life journey. 

I approached Vanessa about shar­ing this part of her jour­ney, and what love means to her, know­ing fully that this is a sub­ject that can some­times be a chal­leng­ing discussion.

Love.

And I won­der, who are we to judge another?  Who are we to think we have all the answers?  Who are we to ques­tion the deep long­ings and beau­ti­ful con­nec­tions of two souls brought together?

So, it is with my deep grat­i­tude that I share with you Vanessa, who she is, and what love is.  And, as I read this, I can only believe that my place is not one to judge another because they are some­how dif­fer­ent from me.  In fact, as I think about this more deeply, are we not all dif­fer­ent?  And are there not things in our heart that would speak love even more beau­ti­fully if we lived that place with even more com­pas­sion and care?

Vanessa, thank you for so openly shar­ing, and for speak­ing the truth in your heart.  You are a shin­ing and beau­ti­ful soul, and it is an honor to have you here.

I Am NOT An Abom­i­na­tion

photo credit: indrarado

“We say we love flow­ers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And peo­ple still won­der why some are afraid when told they are loved.” ~ Anony­mous

I feel com­pelled to write about this due to the strong feel­ings asso­ci­ated with this topic:  HOMOSEXUALITY.  I don’t get angry about the topic much any­more, as much as become deter­mined, almost indig­nant, on need­ing to firmly state why I feel the way that I do about this.  And, I have to say, I would feel firmly that homo­sex­u­al­ity is as nat­ural in human­ity as het­ero­sex­u­al­ity, even if I were not a les­bian.  But I am a les­bian, and I know in my heart of hearts that I am EXACTLY as God intended me to be.

Now, I am not writ­ing this post as a tes­ta­ment to what sci­ence is prov­ing in terms of sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion and genet­ics.   I am not writ­ing this post as a way to quote pas­sages of Scrip­ture, to defend why they are mis­in­ter­preted.  I am writ­ing this from a feel­ing, human per­spec­tive.  It is just the way that I do things, try to bring the per­sonal per­spec­tive to the table, which is not always con­sid­ered when the var­i­ous sides of this issue take their posi­tions and refuse to see another point of view as valid.

I feel firmly con­fi­dent in the fact that God has cre­ated me, as well as mil­lions of other gay, les­bian, bisex­ual, and trans­gen­dered per­sons, in His image, and exactly as He wanted us to be.  I would, and do, believe that regard­less if sci­ence seemed to indi­cate that there are genetic dif­fer­ences or not, that God meant for this to be.  I feel fully con­nected to God and to my spir­i­tu­al­ity, not in spite of being gay, but because I am gay.  I am a kind, gen­er­ous human being, I give will­ingly to oth­ers, I try to be fair and not waste­ful, and I have a com­mit­ted, life­long part­ner whom I am devoted to.  We are rais­ing a well adjusted, beau­ti­ful daugh­ter and doing a fine job.  God has blessed us in so many ways, because of who we are.

This is usu­ally where the con­ver­sa­tion goes to the area of “love the sin­ner, hate the sin” kind of state­ments, refer­ring to being gay as being a “choice” or “lifestyle”, and that we are “giv­ing in” to “sin­ful urges” with­out restraint.  While I will not be dis­cussing my own sex­ual behav­ior here, since that is just not my style, I will say that sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion, or in my case, being a les­bian, is about SO MUCH MORE than sex­ual behav­ior, sex­ual activ­ity, sex­ual inti­macy.  Yes, that is part of it in most of the cou­ple rela­tion­ships that I am acquainted with, as in most com­mit­ted rela­tion­ships.  That is PART of what con­nects two per­sons to one another.  But, think about it for a minute: when you meet some­one that you know may be a sig­nif­i­cant per­son to you, one to whom you are attracted, how would you describe that attrac­tion?  Some of us have had the expe­ri­ence of being attracted to a per­son phys­i­cally or sex­u­ally only, with noth­ing else much there.  That has not been my typ­i­cal expe­ri­ence, and that is not what I am talk­ing about here.  I am talk­ing about falling in love, being attracted to a per­son on all lev­els:  phys­i­cally, sex­u­ally, emo­tion­ally, psy­cho­log­i­cally, soul­fully, prayer­fully — the heart to heart con­nec­tion that comes with those that we fall in love with madly.  THAT is what ori­en­ta­tion is about.  If I were to describe a het­ero­sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion as only about sex, or sex­ual attrac­tion or inti­macy, I would be dimin­ish­ing it and leav­ing out so much else that describes and defines a cou­ple relationship.

And, just as there are messed up per­sons in this world who are het­ero­sex­ual, mar­ried or not, so is the case in the homo­sex­ual world as well.  Not much dif­fer­ence there.  How­ever, there are many of us that are monog­a­mous, in com­mit­ted, long term rela­tion­ships, who are not unfaith­ful and want to spend the rest of our lives together, God will­ing.  Would there really need to be a focus on what it is that we do inti­mately if we were allowed to be mar­ried?  If that were to sanc­tion our com­mit­ted rela­tion­ship, then really, who would care how we con­duct our­selves?  And, for those that think that the insti­tu­tion of mar­riage will be ulti­mately destroyed, and the foun­da­tion of our soci­ety shat­tered if homo­sex­ual per­sons are allowed to marry one another, wouldn’t you agree that mar­riage could use some help these days?  I mean, the most recent sta­tis­tic is that almost half, if not half, of mar­riages end in divorce?  How can we worsen those types of num­bers? Isn’t it remotely pos­si­ble that we might boost the chances of happy marriage?

I know some peo­ple, many peo­ple actu­ally, some of whom are gay, some not, who were raised in house­holds and com­mu­ni­ties and churches, that told them that being a homo­sex­ual was against God, unnat­ural, and an abom­i­na­tion, and who believed it for much of their lives.  Some of those same peo­ple have had changes of hearts and minds over their life­time, by real­iz­ing that being gay and being in God’s image could co-exist.  I am so grate­ful for those per­sons in my life.  I am so glad to know that instead of bring­ing out fear and loathing in other human beings, that I can illicit appre­ci­a­tion, com­pas­sion and joy at who I gen­uinely am.
 
I am gay, I am wor­thy, I am loved, and I am a child of God. Amen.

UPDATE:  The con­ver­sa­tion on this con­tin­ues, as Evita, from Evolv­ing Beings, dis­cusses Expand­ing Our Evolv­ing Views of Homo­sex­u­al­ity. 

Spe­cial note:  I am deeply grate­ful to Vanessa for shar­ing as openly as she has here, and for Evita beau­ti­fully shar­ing her com­pas­sion­ate views on sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion.  It is with these con­ver­sa­tions, that con­tin­ued love and under­stand­ing can be more openly expressed in all aspects of our lives.  Thank you, both of you, for being light and love in this world.