There is a well-worn path for people in their 20’s and 30’s. After an education has been completed it is time to build a career, find someone to marry, and start a family. This often involves dating sites, speed dating events, meet-ups for singles, and blind dates from well-meaning friends.
For those whose marriage ends in divorce, there is another well-traveled path often followed: a rush to the altar a second time. Too many times this happens quickly after a divorce is finalized with little time spent contemplating what went wrong the first time and what a good partner should possess for a successful relationship to be possible in the future.
The expectation that life is not complete until there is a spouse and children often leads to making bad decisions in choosing a life partner. Similarly, the pressure post-divorce to do it again is often not a wise path to follow down a second time.
So how is it possible to make better choices, leading to more rewarding, longer-lasting relationships?
Step off the beaten path and date yourself first.
In a rush to follow where others have tread before, there is not often a well thought-out plan or criteria for the ideal partner. This is impossible to accomplish without first knowing yourself well.
- Get comfortable being alone.
- Take yourself out to dinner and a movie.
- Enjoy your own company.
- Spend time thinking about who and what makes you happy.
Once you are happy and comfortable dating yourself, you are ready to date others. When you begin to date again, be mindful of what you like and dislike in each dating and relationship experience. This will help in choosing the right partner. Also, the time you spent dating yourself will ensure the fear of being alone will not be the determining factor in finding a partner.
Step off the path and seek happiness first with yourself and then with a partner.
It’s the best path to choose for a fulfilling relationship and happy life.