Today I am honored to have as our guest, Megan Bord, from It’s All About Joy. Megan writes deep and meaningful pieces that touch very much upon that spot deep within us all, that connects us to our soul. And in that spot, she seeks to explore the joy we all have within us.
Read anything Megan writes, and you’ll quickly get a sense for just how deeply she believes this, that there is joy within us all. And that this joy is something we’re all entitled to. Isn’t that a refreshing thought! Joy is there for all of us, no matter where we are in our life journey. No matter what our past has been. A wonderful example of this is a recent piece she wrote, entitled Being The One, all about accepting ourselves as we are, today – and that being just where we should be – that there’s something very good about this place we’re in. I find that thought so life affirming!
Megan is a great friend, and writes words that come deep from within her soul. To keep up with what she’s doing, subscribe to her blog right here.
Today, Megan shares…
The Evolution of Our Heart’s Desire
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” ~ Vincent van Gogh
Lance recently wrote a post entitled Detours on the Path of Life, which discussed life’s unplanned detours that force us to take a different path than what we may have intended. Davina at Shades of Crimson also wrote something compelling recently that ties in with what I’ve been thinking about related to my heart’s desires. (See her post entitled, A Sinking Feeling)
In my mid- to late-twenties, I had a lovely vision of how I wanted my life to go. I could see my big Victorian house on the New England coast, the partner I’d chosen to spend my time with, the one cat I would assuredly have, the career I’d excel in from the comforts of a home office, the car I would drive, the places I’d travel… You get the idea.
Like many spiritual seekers and students of a happier mind, I learned to mold my reality through the thoughts that I’d think. The more positive my frame of mind, the more positive my life turned out to be. I began this quest at age 25, and by the time I reached 30, I had read and studied a lot about law of attraction techniques. A couple years later, I became what some of my friends called a master manifester to the point that I could think a wishful thought and within hours or days, it would come true. Suddenly it’s as if in the blink of an eye I could have anything I wanted.
A funny thing happened, though, just after honing that ability: I became less inclined to seek things and more inclined to seek inner peace, gain a better understanding of my God-self, and come from a space of love in all that I do. The dreams I once had, while still lovely in their own right, no longer held the mysterious appeal they once did.
I think the shift took place earlier this year. In comments I’ve left on Kaushik’s blog Beyond Karma, I’ve talked openly about a moment of surrender I had this past spring. For ten months, from last year through the beginning of this year, I relapsed with an addiction that got the best of me. I fought it tooth and nail, too, arguing against everything it represented and pulling out every manifesting trick in the book to get beyond it. My dream at that time was to escape addiction once and for all.
The thing I hadn’t thought to do, though, was surrender. I was so busy trying to quantum leap my way past addiction using various visualization techniques that I never acknowledged the truth of the moment I was in. My denial kept me stuck, and that gripping feeling of being stuck petrified me. As a result, I kept spinning my wheels more and more until I was so jammed into the very state I tried to get out of that I had a minor breakdown.
One day in a flash, I spontaneously woke up to reality. I sort of fell to my knees in an all-out surrender, and for the first time in nearly a year, saw clearly the person I had become. I saw not what my conscious mind had been trying to portray I was all that time (the dream version of me), but instead I saw very clearly who I actually was. I saw what addiction had done to me, how I fooled myself into trying to dream my way past it, and how scared I was to face the facts.
In that very unmistakably awakened moment, I was freed.
Since then, recovery has been effortless. It seems less like something I do, and more like something I am.
And the same goes for those dreams of mine. I used to look at my dreams – the things I thought I wanted – and see them as something to strive for; something outside of me.
But now, as I look around with a fresh set of eyes which love the very moment I’m in no matter what that moment is, I see how my heart’s desires have evolved. Wherever I am is exactly where I want to be; however life is going is precisely what I want for myself right now. The day I woke up and embraced my addiction is the day I could finally release it. What a gift, since the process I went through helped me to realize that I’m living my dreams every second of every day and there is nothing I must wish into reality in order to be happier than I am right now. Whatever is, is my dream. And more simply than that, I am the living, breathing, walking and talking evolution of my heart’s greatest desires.
What about you: what do your dreams look like now compared to even a few years ago? Have your heart’s desires evolved over time?