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What’s On Your Plate?

I was taught to approach con­sump­tion from the per­spec­tive of moderation.

“Every­thing in moderation.”

Hoo boy, how I hated being told this as a child. Mod­er­a­tion is so….MODERATE. Puri­tan. Buttoned-down. Laaaa-aaame.

“Yes, you can watch TV, but just a lit­tle.” “Yes, you can have a cookie, but just one.”

It’s a qual­i­fied “yes, but”.

And while we all love a “yes”, nobody likes a “but”.

It became appar­ent that this ver­sion of mod­er­a­tion was all about going with­out, based on cul­tural mores rooted in glut­tony, politesse and virtues. It made for some com­pli­cated rela­tion­ships: I want this, but can only have a lit­tle, which has me want­ing it more.

It is the “more” that was — and remains — the problem.

For me. (And maybe for you?)

More food. More con­ver­sa­tion. More oblig­a­tions. More infor­ma­tion. I had lost the sense of how I wanted to FEEL dur­ing and post-consumption. Back then, it was about fill­ing up, not fuel­ing up.

Big dif­fer­ence.

I wasn’t savour­ing, I was shov­el­ing. A bulging cal­en­dar meant a life well-lived. A heap­ing plate meant abun­dance. A full closet meant affluence.

So why was I feel­ing so depleted?

You know the answer: I was choos­ing quan­tity over quality.

In choos­ing dubi­ous qual­ity, I was pro­duc­ing dubi­ous qual­ity in my rela­tion­ships, work and art.

Crap in, crap out.

There is this truth: there is only so much room, and there is only so much time. And mercy me, this truth becomes more and more acute with every pass­ing year.

I now approach MOST con­sump­tion from the per­spec­tive of a small plate at a large and sump­tu­ous buf­fet of life.

I’m not talk­ing about scarcity here. I’m talk­ing about INTENTION, ’cause, Dar­lin’ I don’t doubt for a nanosec­ond that you have the capac­ity to receive many more gifts, much more wealth and much more joy in your life. And don’t you dare doubt that either.

What I am advo­cat­ing is crystal-clear clar­ity about your inten­tion as you approach that buffet.

What do you want from this meal, con­ver­sa­tion, hour, visit? Do you want to feel ener­gized? Inspired? Alive? Accom­plished? Comforted?

Let this inten­tion inform your every choice.

Will you be sati­ated with filet or filler? Fact-finding or Face­book? Meet­ing your mother or “How I met your mother”?

You get to choose.

And if you find your­self becom­ing over­stuffed, over­whelmed, over­sched­uled or over­weight, notice what — and how much — you’ve invited onto your plate.

Believe as I do that you can han­dle it AND choose dif­fer­ently the next trip to the buffet.

Mind­fully.

So go ahead and fuel up. Just don’t for­get to leave a lit­tle room for dessert.

by Tanya Geisler

Clar­ity. Action. Achieve­ment. Joy. Tanya Geisler is a CTI-certified coach (a.k.a. “cat­a­lyst, not ther­a­pist”) and speaker who believes that life is a grand production…and it’s time for you to step into your star­ring role. And radi­ate. Right now.
Tanya Geisler
View all posts by Tanya Geisler
Filed Under: Creative Expression, Jungle Writers

Comments

  1. Jen says:
    November 22, 2011 at 8:22 am

    Love this Suzie!
    You had me smil­ing and reflect­ing all at the same time. And you are oh-so-right about INTENTION!

    A great post to pon­der as we head into the Thanks­giv­ing week­end, where I will think care­fully about inten­tion as I inter­act with rel­a­tives, food, and fam­ily:)
    Love,
    Jen

    Reply
  2. Carrie says:
    November 22, 2011 at 8:41 am

    This is bril­liant and beau­ti­ful. I think I’m going to eat a sin­gle gourmet cup­cake now. x0

    Reply
  3. J.D. Meier says:
    November 22, 2011 at 11:37 am

    > crystal-clear clar­ity about your inten­tion as you approach that buf­fet.
    Well put.

    I used the “what’s on your plate” metaphor in my book because it really hits home. It’s such a sim­ple ques­tion, and yet, how we answer that is so reveal­ing. If we can’t eas­ily see what’s on our plate, it’s prob­a­bly over-flowing and mak­ing a mess.

    One of the best ways to fix it, is to decide what’s on your plate (going back to your point on inten­tion), and then deal with it. My Mom taught me early on to take two trips, and I later real­ized that same wis­dom applied to how I fill my plate. It’s bet­ter to fin­ish what’s on my plate before tak­ing on more, or at least be very delib­er­ate about what I’m let­ting go or trad­ing up for.

    Reply
    • Tanya says:
      November 25, 2011 at 9:01 am

      Thanks J.D.! “If we can’t eas­ily see what’s on our plate, it’s prob­a­bly over-flowing and mak­ing a mess”. YES.

      Also brings to mind a client’s A-HA (I share with her per­mis­sion). She real­ized that she was treat­ing all aspects of her busi­ness as equally impor­tant and on the main plate, but then real­ized that some aspects could go on the less cov­eted side plate. (like, does any­one really care if you don’t fin­ish that roll?) It was very pow­er­ful for her and helped her to rec­og­nize the impor­tance of prioritizing.

      Reply
  4. Ann McDonald says:
    November 22, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    This is the type of arti­cle that makes you THINK & say “I never thought of it that way!” Thanks Tanya for shar­ing your words of wis­dom!
    Ann

    Reply
    • Tanya says:
      November 25, 2011 at 9:03 am

      Ann…am so thrilled this res­onated for you. Makes me feel that lovely qual­ity of sat­is­fied but not stuffed. Like the per­fect and sat­is­fy­ing amount of food. XO

      Reply
  5. Nick Sotos says:
    November 23, 2011 at 4:54 am

    I loved this arti­cle Tanya. Your writ­ing is so touch­ing and ten­der, that no one can remain unmoved by your words, by your thoughts. I haven’t reflected before on what you define as inten­tion. Thank you Tanya.

    Reply
  6. Megan Bord says:
    November 23, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Holy crap, this was ter­rific! Man, where have you been all my (blog-reading) life, Tanya?! I love your style, but more so loved the words you used here today: “And while we all love a ‘yes,’ nobody likes a ‘but.’”

    I look back on when my own “yes, but” fear-reaction devel­oped, and it was in child­hood, when my dad left. He left and my entire life changed: I went from a con­tent lit­tle life-lover, to a much more fear­ful “never gonna have enough” type per­son, espe­cially when it came to food (mostly, actu­ally). Although, truth be told my desire to eat more than I needed was sort of an f-you aimed squarely at him. He used to restrict what or how we ate, so when he walked out there wasn’t any­one to tell me “just one.” So I went from “just one” to “just as many as I want!” (Take THAT, Dad.)

    Today, though, those knee-jerk responses to deep-seated emo­tional scars that are trig­gered by daily or weekly events don’t serve me. And no one suf­fers but me. It’s in my good hands, and while I work to bring more mind­ful­ness and inten­tion to what I do, the way you’ve framed it here gives me renewed inspi­ra­tion. What’s my inten­tion? How do I want to FEEL when I’m done doing X, Y, or Z?

    I pray I can keep your words with me from here on out.

    Thank you, Tanya. Thank you so much!

    Reply
    • Tanya says:
      November 25, 2011 at 9:14 am

      Oh YES you can keep them close at hand, Dear Megan. It’s all in your good hands, as you so beau­ti­fully state. And they are REALLY good hands. You’ve got this.

      Here’s my hippie-dippie pre­scrip­tion: have set­ting your inten­tion be EASY. We like to make it com­pli­cated (that’s the “more”, right?)

      Because com­pli­cated = impor­tant. Easy = pedestrian/unimportant.

      Let’s call BS on that one, shall we?
      XO
      TG

      Reply
  7. suzen says:
    November 23, 2011 at 8:28 am

    Won­der­ful! Love it! Great advice any­time, but espe­cially now with the hol­i­days — wow, yes, this is sure a good time to start being mind­ful of what we eat!
    Hugs
    SuZen

    Reply
  8. Jody - Fit at 54 says:
    November 23, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    I think the hard­est thing for peo­ple to learn is that to say NO to cer­tain things makes them a bet­ter per­son because when you are over sched­uled & over­stressed it is not only unhealthy for you but those around you. We all need to know that it is OK to say NO & just step back & breathe!

    Reply
  9. Jimmy says:
    November 25, 2011 at 12:29 am

    Hi Tanya,

    Thank you for giv­ing us the per­mis­sion to take beyond the level of mod­er­a­tion. When we look at things from the per­spec­tive of our inten­tions, it really becomes eas­ier for us to decide when and what is enough.
    Jimmy´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..What Nav­i­gat­ing in the Jun­gle can Teach you about Cre­at­ing Your Life?My Profile

    Reply
  10. Tanya says:
    November 25, 2011 at 9:20 am

    YES!!!!! Nailed it. Thank you, Jimmy.
    Tanya´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..Today’s Thing Find­ing Thurs­day is brought to you by the word: EaseMy Profile

    Reply
  11. Angela Artemis/Poweredbyintuition says:
    November 25, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Tanya,
    I really appre­ci­ate this reminder to set an inten­tion before­hand. I wish I had read it before I attended Thanks­giv­ing though. It’s a great remind me that I have the power to shape my expe­ri­ences.
    Angela Artemis/Poweredbyintuition´s Last Fab­u­lous Post ..A Day for Grat­i­tude and ThanksgivingMy Profile

    Reply
  12. Colleen Kelly says:
    November 25, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    I LOVE this ! I got it from a link from Twit­ter. Wanted you to know it got around :) I like your atti­tude . I feel the same way and it helped me remem­ber I do..lol Thank you for your insight and for shar­ing it with us .

    Reply
  13. Naomi says:
    November 27, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Beau­ti­fully said, Tanya! Thank you for the timely reminder to be mind­ful. I shall take it to heart :-)

    Reply
  14. Foodnap says:
    November 28, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    Awe­some post, crap in crap out!

    Reply

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