New Rules For Life

by Lance Ekum on · 122 comments

Going Home
Creative Commons License photo credit: Kuzeytac

“How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

New Rules For Life

  • You are the creator of your life. 
    This is your life.  This is not the life of someone else…it is yours.  Your purpose for traveling on this earth, now, in your human form – is for you to experience this life.  

    You create your life.  This masterpiece of you…create something beautiful…for YOU.

  • You have this moment.
    Life is made up of our moments.  Moments – just like this very second, right now, that you are here, reading.  You have chosen how to use this moment.  And even when we are in a place that is not our choosing, we still (always) choose our response.  That response – ALWAYS – is yours.  In every moment. 
  • You are a spiritual being having a human experience.
    Stop.  No, really stop.  Stop and be still.  Silent.  Just you and your breath.  As thoughts come, just let them go.  How amazing is this!  This physical body of ours – bones, skin, muscles, tissues, organs – all make up your being.  There is just still so much more to you, though.  So much more than this physical body that you are in!  There is something just so much deeper about you – and who you are!  Your soul…that which makes you YOU!  It's not something we can see (like our fingers or toes).  Our soul…our spiritual being…that deep part of us that is both mysterious and known…beautiful and amazing…
  • Love matters.
    Do you have a pet?  Have you held a tiny baby?  In its purest form, these are beings that love.  And accept love.  Think about this.  Or, even more importantly – feel this.  Feel this in your soul.  That thought of holding a tiny, unprotected baby.  Love. 

    Now, feel that in everything you do.  In everyone you encounter.  In your being.  Love. 

    And imagine, if you will, for a moment – a world filled with this.  Love, which is already at our core,  Love…that connects, that breaks down barriers, that lifts up, that cares, that feels, that shows, that touches, that understands…that matters…

  • Everything else is negotiable.
    You make the rules.  This is YOUR life.  This life of yours – it is not the life of your boss, your lover, your parents, your employer, your customers, your friends, your foes, your government, your religion. This life – the one you are living right now – is for you. 

    Reclaim your life.

    Create your own rules.

    Don't let this amazing human experience slip away…

Live from your heart, connect to the beauty of your life, soak in the moments of your day as much as you can, love from your soul, and believe in the magic of what is possible!

You are so worth it!

So, so worth it…

Lance writes stories from his heart, aiming to inspire and motivate, as you align more fully with YOUR true peak. When he's not here, you can find him hanging out with his family, riding a bike, or just generally acting goofy.   Sign up for the Thoughts from the Treehouse newsletter and get additional inspiration in your email inbox!
Lance Ekum
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{ 119 comments… read them below or add one }

Keith December 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm


I love this! Every word you’ve written here resonates within my heart and spirit. We DO create our lives. What we experience and how we experience it is up to us!! How totally mind- boggling-awesome is that?!

Thank you a million times over for posting this. You have impacted me in such a wonderful way!


Lance December 16, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Creators…we all are. To what depths we choose to create, that is the question…


Suzie Cheel December 15, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Love the new rules, Lance, How true each one is and how powerful we can become when we embrace each on of these?
with love
Suzie Cheel´s Last Fabulous Post ..What Makes You Beautifully DifferentMy Profile


Lance December 16, 2010 at 9:36 pm

And that’s it…do we make that commitment to embrace these? Do we really live these in our lives?

…living with intention…

Much love to you,


Patricia December 15, 2010 at 10:06 pm

This is truly a beautiful writing and it touched my heart deeply. And all the folks in my life are saying live fully. Do what brings u joy-ONLY. You will know what to do next. I must be deaf for I do not know what to do next not even the next step. How does one discover the next step? This is my curious question of the day- everyday now. What brings me joy? I am working on a list. Thank you for these words and sharing them.


Lance December 16, 2010 at 9:40 pm

You bring up such a great point – it’s so easy to write this, it’s so easy to nod in agreement with this – is it easy to live this, though?

How do we know what that next step is, for us? I suppose it’s part of this journey we’re on…and there are so many paths that journey can take us on. You know what – I think I’ll write an article about this – about those “next steps” . Thank you, Patricia, for this deeply thought provoking question. More soon, I promise!!


Lady Fi December 15, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Beautiful thoughts – such an inspiration!
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 9:40 pm

Thank YOU!!


Zeenat{Positive Provocations} December 16, 2010 at 12:05 am

Dearest lance, If i could jump on a plane right now and come there and *bow* to thee I would…I really really would…cause you are so worth it!
I love every word…speaks volumes of you, your amazing heart and your beautiful soul.
Heart centered living is the way to truly LIVE!
Thank you sweet friend for always stirring me in the right direction….
Lots of love,


Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:02 pm

You are so, so sweet!! And…I want to jump on a plane…travel to YOU…and give you that big hug (even bigger now!!).

Living from our heart-center…it’s such a beautiful place to be…

Much love to you,


~ Bern ~ December 16, 2010 at 2:06 am

The geese love their way to their southern or northern outcome. They see within where they want to go, and they feel their way along their path talking to that which speaks to them along the way. Sign Posts are everywhere and are the things that grab our attention. We can investigate our way then, moment to moment, to our intentions conclusion.

Your goose quote spoke to me Lance. It must be time to migrate south for the winter.
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:04 pm

That’s it…the geese…they “feel” their calling from within – and are drawn to that place. And we, too, can do that – when we “feel” that calling within us…and travel toward that “place” of meaning for us.

Now…about migrating south for the winter…I’m thinking that sounds pretty good about right now (as we are deep into a cold and snowy period!!).


Rachel Denning December 16, 2010 at 2:08 am

This is very beautiful. I love to have these reminders. Thank you!


Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:06 pm

So, so good having you here. And…thank you for your wonderfully caring words…


Katie December 16, 2010 at 5:49 am

Lance, this post is a mantra for all of us, and it is a genuine reflection of the wonderful human being you are and the wonderful and fully realized human being we can all strive to be, we can all create. Very empowering and loving. Thank you for all your beautiful posts. This one feels like a cornerstone of your entire philosophy, like an epilogue to a wonderful book you are about to write. Thank you.
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:11 pm

I’m touched by your deeply thoughtful and caring comments. Truly, they are landing upon my soul tonight, as I re-read them for the second time.

A mantra…I love that!

Now…about that book…it’s most definitely floating about in my heart (and even a bit on paper)…

Much love,


Katie December 22, 2010 at 7:26 am

I think I meant to say prologue not epilogue. Regardless, I’m happy to hear you’re writing a book. Wonderful.
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Lance December 22, 2010 at 9:23 am


Happy Holidays to you and your wonderful family!!


Jay Schryer December 16, 2010 at 6:46 am

Well said, Lance. Well said, indeed.
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:11 pm

You are simply awesome!! Thanks, my friend!


Teresa Thompson December 16, 2010 at 7:32 am

Thank you so much for this post, Lance. It is beautiful! I loved the quote at the beginning… and the reminder that no one else chooses your life.
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:13 pm

So, so GREAT to see you here!

I know this is easy for me to say – as I’m living a far easier life than many – but I really do believe it – even in the worst of situation, we still can choose our response….we can still choose love…we can still choose life…

And, Teresa, I just want you to know – I LOVE your avatar…my tree-hugging friend!!


DareToBecome December 16, 2010 at 7:51 am

What a wonderful way to start my morning by reading this!
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Lance December 16, 2010 at 10:14 pm

So good to have you here…you brighten MY day!!


Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord December 16, 2010 at 8:24 am

Lance, your point on love is well taken, and reminds me of the John Lennon song “Love.” In that song, Lennon sums up love’s essence: love is real, real is love; love is feeling, feeling love; love is wanting to be loved.

Love matters. In my most joyful moments, and in my darkest, the one energy that’s always present is love. It’s either there celebrating with me, or there supporting and encouraging me. Love is all.

I love you, my friend.
Happiest Day today!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s Last Fabulous Post ..The Blessings of Each New MomentMy Profile


Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:17 am

You shine love in ways that reach me deeply. And the thing is – because of that, I just feel this very meaningful connection to you. To you. To the essence of your soul…and that amazing goodness of your shining presence.

I love you, dear sweet friend….

Sending hugs and rays of sunshine,


Robin Easton December 16, 2010 at 8:59 am

Dearest Lance, this is SO beautiful. I mean, REALLY beautiful. I love the whole bases for it, that alone brought tears to my eyes. It also is something I REALLY needed to hear right now in my life. Thank you so much dear dear friend. I am thinking of you and sending you warm love this holiday season, and of course….ALWAYS. Thank you for being my friend all these months and years. You are one of the great gifts in my life. I know we will meet one day in person. All my love to you, and more gratitude than I could express here. Thank you for taking me under your beautiful wing. Love, Robin


Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:23 am

You exemplify love, and even more – love in action. What a wonderful gift that is, in my life.

Today, again, I feel that very deeply. And in that, know that your presence is with me, the gift of your spirit…reaching to my soul.

So, until that day comes…that day when we meet in the physical – this deeper connection to our souls is nourishment for me. So, so beautiful.

Love you…always,


Tess The Bold Life December 16, 2010 at 9:08 am

Simply beautiful. I love the photo and the quote but your heart felt words top both. The best is no. 8 “everything else is negotiable.” I also loved what everyone wrote in their comments. Thanks for creating a beautiful phiolosophy for all to share!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:25 am

The comments here are what really make this come to life – just feeling the depth of thought and care from so many amazing and caring souls.

…and all else truly is negotiable…

Love to you,


Lynn December 16, 2010 at 9:42 am

Thanks Lance – I needed to hear that this morning.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:25 am

Thank you Lynn!!


rob white December 16, 2010 at 9:46 am

Hi Lance,
Your sincerity and compassion shines through in every article. Indeed we are the creators of our lives. We are all superlative creators; this hidden talent is seeking to express through us all… What we are seeking is seeking us. A great definition of happiness is to have the freedom to live our dreams.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:29 am

We ARE the creators…even when we choose to passively allow our lives to be led by others – we are creating that choice. Not that every situation is as easy to move toward, but we can still focus on our responses, and how we choose to live in those.

…the freedom to live our dreams…that IS a wonderful definition of happiness!!!

Rob, thanks, as always for the deeply meaningful thoughts you bring…


Ewa December 16, 2010 at 10:01 am

Beautiful rules to live by. Difficult rules to live by.
I wish I knew why so difficult. Is it our upbringing, is it our genes? It seem easier to let go of our controls over our lives than to live by thoughtfully making one’s own rules.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:32 am

You know, that’s a great point – as easy as these are to look at and nod in agreement, it’s then about living by them. And that part is not always so easy.

I’m thinking about your thoughts right now – and as I let this all soak in – I’m also planning to write an article about this, and then open up the comments so that we can all share and learn from each other. More to come soon!!

And – thank you so much, Ewa, for these wonderful thoughts.


Tim December 16, 2010 at 10:01 am

Hi Lance:

This is a great dose of inspiration. One thing all of us need to remember is that we are the creator of our life and experiences. I think, many times, we forget about this. Great job writing these important, poetic words. By the way, I enjoyed listening to you on the blog talk radio the other day…great job!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:35 am

Yes, I think, too – that all too often, we forget just how we are truly the creator of our life. We let our senses become dulled to the daily repeating things that have become our days…until we look back with regret…at missed experiences, missed connections, missed truly living….

And, Tim – thank you so much for listening to the blog talk radio piece – it was so much fun to do this with Peggy and Teresa – and know that your words on this have special meaning for me.

So great having you here!


Audra Krell December 16, 2010 at 10:50 am

Hi Lance,
I love this content as well as the way it’s written. Breaking our lives down into smaller pieces made me stop for a second and just breathe like you said. It was a glorious mini-retreat for my soul. Thank you!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:36 am

Mmmm….a mini-retreat for the soul – I just love that thought!!

And, Audra, know that it’s a gift having your presence here…

Much love,


Aileen December 16, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Such wonderful new rules! It’s a life upgrade 🙂
so beautiful, so inspiring – and so right on!


Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:37 am

A life upgrade!! Wow – what a sweet (and fun!) term!! From such a sweet (and fun!!) soul!!


Steven | The Emotion Machine December 16, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Thanks for this Lance – all very worthy reminders. It is so important to remember that we have responsibility to our own life and that we can create love and understanding.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:42 am

The thing is – do we always accept that responsibility?

When we do – and when we align ourselves with a deeper connection to our soul…love, I believe, is that natural product of that. And what a beautiful thing it is….


Jody - Fit at 53 December 16, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Lance, you always have us thinking & working to be better for us & others! Thank you!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 5:42 am

…and it gets me thinking more deeply about my own life, too…

Thank so much for your continued and caring support!


Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife) December 16, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Hi Lance,

These are such beautiful, moving words. If everyone adopted these Rules for Life, the world would be a different place for sure. But what we can do is remember them, feel into them, and let them permeate our lives. Then we each become a living testimony of what you describe here and everyone benefits.

You are a treasure, Lance. Much love to you…
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 6:00 am

And perhaps it’s in even taking baby steps in the direction of more fully being love, in creating from a place of deep connection, of feeling the moments…

If we think of life as a journey – these steps (however big or small they are) are ones that are so worth taking….

Gail, thank you so much for your wonderful and caring presence…

Love always,


Julie December 16, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Lance, you can’t possibly know what this means to me. It’s as if you took a peek inside my heart and put words to my own feelings and beliefs. The simplicity of your phrasing became pure power, fueled by Love. In stating all this here, you’ve gifted me with the greatest reminders (so very welcome right now) of who I am and why I am and what the gift of every moment really is: a treasure to be unwrapped with love and joy. I’m left with a soul-emotion so deeply felt that there are no words, only the most awesome feeling of Love so overwhelming that only tears can speak… Thank you for such generosity, such love… You are Love… ~Julie
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 6:04 am

LOVE. Such an amazing, caring, connecting, being word….action….feeling…

And Julie, I feel this so much in your being – and in who you are…at a deep and soul level. What a gift that has been for me – for your presence in my life, for the love you exude…so freely….

As I write this today, I feel your presence with me….guided by love…mmmm….and it is so, so wonderful.

Much love to you…always…dear and caring friend,


Lauren December 16, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Dearest Lance,

Words of truth spoken with such beauty – so like you! You continue to uplift and remind us of the precious opportunity we have as we walk through life in our magnificent bodies that allow us to have life experiences.

Life is an incredible gift and mine improved dramatically when I recognized that I get to create the quality of life I choose. And as you say, we always get to choose how we respond to life. What freedom we have.

Thanks for keeping us inspired and may you and your family enjoy the holidays.

Big hugs and love,
Lauren´s Last Fabulous Post ..Holiday Advice 101- Grant Me The Balls To Change The Things I CanMy Profile


Lance December 17, 2010 at 6:08 am

The experience of being alive…really and fully alive…what an amazing experience that is!! And the more we connect to love, to the power of our own creation, and to living from a place of deeper connection – the more beautiful and alive our lives become.

Lauren, you are a gift – with the depth at which you connect to love. Know that I feel this very much in my life – this love you freely give. And it is such a blessing…

Big, big hugs back to you…sweet friend….

Love always,


Dandy December 16, 2010 at 4:34 pm

This is one of the most lovely posts I’ve ever read. Thank you! Our journeys are so fleeting. We are here such a short time with our loved ones. You are right…love does matter. It is everything. Nothing comes close to measuring up to it. Nothing. Thanks so much for this gorgeous peice. You’re a terrific writer!

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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:31 am

You are so, so sweet (thank YOU!!)!!

LOVE. If there’s one thing that really matters…that’s it. Even if we have nothing else…if we have love…we’re rich beyond measure.

So, today…I wish you much love…I send you much love…and I care…



Jannie Funster December 16, 2010 at 5:00 pm

This makes my day, Lance! Thank you. I AM the captain of my heart and thoughts. And it’s amazing how we create exactly what we want in life.

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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:33 am

Captain Jannie,
You shine AWESOME…everywhere you go!! I feel that so deep here today…and from you always.

Keep on creating those beautiful masterpieces that speak directly from you heart…

Love you…sweet friend…


Amy MacLeod December 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Yeay! Yes! Yep!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:33 am



Rebecca December 16, 2010 at 6:14 pm

You hit it right on Lance. Our lives are OURS to live, not to live it by anybody else’s standards. Therein lies the wisdom and guide to life, yet one cannot dispense the reality that for many this is so very hard to do. I think fear in the “what ifs” is what holds many back. What if they don’t like me if I decide to do/say/live like I want to? What if I’m let go because I dared to speak up or disagree on a point or not follow like a sheep? What if, what if, what if?

Yet, it is our life. At the end of our life when we are at the point of crossing from this world to another, it is then that we will question our fear to have lived our truths and sadly will find then that we had nothing to fear at all. The world would not have ended and those that love us and mattered would still be there.

I need to come back and read this again. This was a great post. Thank you. It is food for fodder and so I shall make a conscious effort to begin stripping away the layers that are holding me down and begin living more closely to my truth. Thank you.


Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:42 am

You have touched upon so much in your comment…all so, so meaningful.

The “what if’s” and the fears around those – that hold us back. And for what? So that we miss out on the most amazing part of our being – all in the name of “not looking foolish”? (and I know this, too, as I have been there – hold myself back from what is truly possible)

In the end – when our time here on earth is done – it will matter not what others thought of us. It will matter how we have lived in congruence with our soul…

Thank you so much for sharing all you have in your comment – it’s so deeply good to read.

Much love,


Lori December 16, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Hi Lance,
Hey, awesome rules! (I wish I’d had these at my fingertips a few decades ago…)
Well done, Lance. You’re a perfect example of not letting *your* human experience slip away.
I love that about you. _/|\_
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:44 am

Hey, thanks!!!! (and I wish I had these rules a couple of decades ago, too…)

This experience of ours…here on earth…what an amazing experience it can be – when we allow ourselves to be truly open to your deeper being…

Love always…dear friend,


Henway December 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm

Inspiring stuff… when I feel down and depressed i need reminders like these. No matter how bad I have it, I know that I made the choices in my life and that I can always make new choices.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:46 am

Being sad or depressed…these are normal emotions…and ones we all have. The thing is, we still always have a choice – even in those moments – in how we respond. So, even when we are not at what feels like our best – we can still choose love….

Thanks for this – it’s reminding me how important self-love really is…


Evelyn Lim December 16, 2010 at 9:54 pm

That you are a spiritual being having a human experience is so beautiful. Tuning into this consciousness of who you really are is life-changing because it is profound knowing. With the knowing, there is no need to go looking for something outside ourselves. Love your rules of life – more like truths I would say!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:50 am

It truly is life-changing, when we fully see the spirit, the soul, within us. And from that place within – much beauty and personal wisdom lives….

And – I love that word “truth” here, too (now…why didn’t I think of that!?!?)

Love to you!


Farnoosh December 16, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Beautiful, profound, powerful as always – basically, what I expect from Lance and somehow, every single time you deliver, dear friend. I am writing a post on meditation and with permission, I am going to link to this because it fills a gap in my writing far better than I can hope….and my favorite phrase: “Don’t let this amazing human experience slip away… ” – thank you for shining this ray of sunshine in the midst of winter our way, dear poetic and authentic Lance! Much love to you!!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:53 am

You are too, too sweet (don’t stop, though…I love it!!).

This is our time – right now…this human experience that we are having. And whatever that is for each of us, we can choose how deeply that connects to our being. And that…that is what makes this life so amazing.

Farnoosh…you have my permission to use whatever you want, whenever you want to. What you have created, and what you continue to create – it is all such a beautiful gift to this world. That I can in some way be a part of that…it’s truly an honor.

Much, much love to you…sweet friend,


Hilary December 17, 2010 at 12:59 am

Hi Lance .. words of wisdom burst out – reminding us of our mortality and our spirit – we can be all .. we can do, we can overcome, and we can live with peace and love … love is all – open our hearts .. as you do .. with love to you and your family – have wonderful times together .. Hilary
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:55 am

“love is all”…those three words, right there, sum this all up so beautifully.

So today I choose to love with my heart open….in every path I travel…

Much love to you,


Mukku December 17, 2010 at 4:42 am

New Rules new Life
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 7:56 am

Ahhh….yes, when we allow these rules to become a deeper part of us, it does lead us toward new life…


Arvind Devalia December 17, 2010 at 8:45 am

Lance, I must have been hiding on another planet, as I have only just discovered your blog (thanks to Aileen of KaizenVision who mentioned your blog on Facebook)

Thanks for a timely reminder of what’s really important in our lives and how we should fully live each and each moment.

Wishing you all the best – because you are worth it:-)
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Great to have you here! And – special thanks to the very wonderful Aileen for sharing this with you!!

And to you, too…may all your best dreams come to be…because YOU are so worth it!!


Peggy Nolan December 17, 2010 at 9:31 am

Dear Lance,

I think I can sum up in one word my otherwise novel length response would be…


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Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:03 pm

…and to you, with love…



Dr. J December 17, 2010 at 11:35 am

Of course these are beautiful and inspiring words, Lance! I have to say, however, that recently I have been focused on what people do not what they say. That is what defines us.


Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:08 pm

Dr. J,
Mmmm…actions….they speak louder than our words.

And that’s the challenge, to really “do” this… Because that is our legacy…

Great, great thoughts!


Jean Burman December 17, 2010 at 3:05 pm

So beautifully inspiring Lance! I loved every word for its “beauty” and “grace”. Thank you dear friend for sharing this here.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm

And thank you, sweet friend, for being here…and for letting these words soak into your soul.

Beauty and grace…two characteristics which describe YOU so, so well…


Michelle @ Following Your Joy December 17, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Hi Lance,

Okay, so have you ever thought of being a speaker? You’ve consistently got this powerful message that you share so eloquently and succinctly. Just needed to say that!

Everything you said here resonated with me deeply…and the one part that struck me the most was the “This is YOUR life” statement. Excellent. It’s easy to forget sometimes, though, isn’t it? Occasionally I do have to remind myself that oh yeah – “I” get to make the rules for my life! And I think it’s the greatest gift we have – the power and the beauty of choosing how we show up in the world. We are so blessed!

Thank you, again, for your inspiration and wisdom. Happy weekend!



Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:22 pm

Hmmmm….you know what…that “speaker” thought has crossed my mind (and even gets me “out there” once in a while!). And…thank YOU for saying that – words that touch my heart…

Yes, it IS easy to forget that this is our life…now. Not when we retire, or when we get a new job, or when we meet the perfect soulmate, or when the kids graduate, or when …{a never ending list}. And that’s it – reminding ourselves about the amazing beauty of our life…today! – and then living that life, basking in that beauty.

Michelle, I just want you to know that I see this so much in you – this LIVING of your life. And it is so refreshing, so soul-touching, so beautiful…

Love and big hugs,


J.D. Meier December 17, 2010 at 7:12 pm

I like the way you brought the feeling of love to life.
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:22 pm

Love…brought to life…it is such a wonderful thing…


Andrea DeBell - britetalk December 17, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Hi Lance! I love all your points. “You are the creator of your life” is a very empowering one. The ability to understand that we have control over what we choose and experience is freeing. It allows us to move from being victims to active creators.
Thanks for this inspiring post. Loving blessings!
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Lance December 17, 2010 at 11:25 pm

The word “create” is such a wonderful word – and one that is also so empowering. We can all create, we all ARE creators of our life. Now – it’s to create that which has deep and caring meaning for us.

So, so good….

Much love,


Stacey December 19, 2010 at 2:31 am


This is just a beautiful post all the way through! I love each of your reflections, they hold so much truth!

“Live from your heart, connect to the beauty of your life, soak in the moments of your day as much as you can, love from your soul, and believe in the magic of what is possible!” First of all this is the line that touched me the most! This is the essence of life! Love from your soul, and truely, deeply believe in the magic that fills each moment!! This one line of your holds SO much power for me.

I too love the “spiritual being having a human experience”. Sometimes it is easy to forget what a treasure it is to have this experience, and feel everything that being human is! I try to remember to be deeply thankful to my body for all the amazing things it does for me each moment!

Thank you for sharing these pearls of wisdom! What a treat to read your words!


Lance December 19, 2010 at 6:16 am

When we truly stop and listen to our heart, it’s so amazing how life transforms. And the thing is – that transformation may or may not be something that’s visible – still, it’s there.

Know that I see this so beautifully in you, and in how you live your life. You just shine so wonderfully to the power of soul…to that connection with the “spiritual you”….

So, as you go forth in the moments of your days…may you continue to shine your amazing light…and know that this light of yours…from your soul, it reaches to mine…

Much love,


Ricardo Bueno December 26, 2010 at 1:16 am

Love these Lance!

Wanted to drop in and say Merry Christmas to you and yours!!


Lance December 31, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Great to see you here!

Merry Christmas AND Happy New Years to YOU!!

And…here’s to an amazing 2011 in all your journeys…


Lauren December 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Dear Lance,

Beautiful words and as you remind us, life is precious and we are more than our bodies. May our soulfulness thrive and live on!

And to you, Lance, ROCK ON! I know you will as you share your inspiring words with us. Can’t wait to see what you bring to us in 2011.

Big hugs and may you and your loved ones have a fantastic upcoming year!
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Lance December 31, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Our soul…it’s the true voice of each of us. And that’s just such a great place to come from…

Lauren, thank you! Thank you for your amazing support, for your caring friendship, and for YOU. I’m blessed by your presence…

Much love to you always,


arina nikitina December 28, 2010 at 10:00 pm

I am speechless. With a smile on my face. A reflective gaze to afar, but the smile is still there. This is one true example of “thought-provoking” piece. One that pokes the soul into true marriage with life and living. Keep it up, Lance. I am still smiling. Peaceful.
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Lance December 31, 2010 at 1:59 pm

Mmmm…and I’m smiling too….

So good to have you here.

May the new year ahead be one that is filled with much connection to your soul…

Peace and love,


Chris Edgar March 23, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Hi Lance — I liked it when you talked about how extraordinary our bodies are, even if we don’t focus on what we are beyond the body or anything like that. We are designed with such attention to detail and have such versatility and symmetry and beauty, and that in itself is something to be in awe of.


Lance March 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm

It really is so amazing…these bodies we’ve been given – and what they do (we breathe, pump blood, have bones and muscle that support us, and so much more)!! We are extraordinary…each one of us!!


Jk Allen March 24, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Hi Lance,

This was really really really good!

I believe that we call the shots. We’ve been gifted the agency to chose whatever we want. This life is for us and directed by us. We own our own conclusion. So, we own our own journey to that conclusion.

Wise words.

I should my wife the vid of you and your family behind the tree. She loves it too!
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Lance March 24, 2011 at 10:05 pm

It’s great having you here!!

YES!! And that’s a yes, whatever we choose – because it is our choice to hold ourselves back, as much as it is to push ourselves toward new heights. And in that, the journey is uniquely ours. Jk, I love your attitude toward life – and the enthusiasm with which you seek to make this journey of YOURS deeply meaningful to you.

And…thank YOU!!! (on the video!) As much fun as it was making that…it was also quick…as the mosquitoes were everywhere that day!!


Happiness is Your Right March 27, 2011 at 3:03 am

Hi Lance, I love this. Thanks for sharing.


Lance March 27, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Thanks for being here!


Riley Harrison March 30, 2011 at 3:36 pm

That was beautiful and succinct. Thomas Jefferson (who was a pretty fair writer) once said (and I paraphrase) sorry for the long letter, I didn’t have time to write a short one. Wish you the best.


Lance March 30, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Thanks for the visit…and compliments! It’s great having you here and part of this community…


Aybi March 31, 2011 at 4:14 am

With your post I’ve realized that a life we live is a story! What’s done is done! Where it goes from here is totally up to us. We are the one’s who should write our own ending! Thanks for these motivating words! 🙂
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Lance March 31, 2011 at 6:02 am

….and that story of our life, for each us, is deeply unique. The story of our past is written and yet the thing is – the story of our today (and forward) is open to what we want that story to be. Not that it’s all going to go exactly as we planned – but that we have the choice in the direction that story takes. And I find that very liberating – that we don’t have to be tied down to the story of our past…we can choose to write something completely different if that’s what we choose!

It’s great to “meet” you, Aybi, and I look forward to having your voice continue to be a part of this place…


Caroline April 1, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I think your feed into my blog is not working…my goodness I have missed your words of wisdom! Thank you for this post today…I really needed this. Hope all is well!
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Lance April 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Hi Caroline!!
It’s so awesome having you here! (…it always is…)

Actually this is a post from a while back – I’ve been on a bit of a break from writing, so everything is probably working just fine.

And, thank you – yes, all is very well….


Terie April 2, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Oh Lance how I’ve missed your inspiration. I’ve been so absent in my slow internet world that I didn’t even see the metamorphosis of your jungle. First, thank you for this great message. New Rules for Life – how great to see them in writing and to be reminded that the only one responsible for my happiness is ME! Thank You, thank you!! I hope to get inspired to write again, I have lost my inner light somehow somewhere but I’m working on finding it again!!
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Lance April 2, 2011 at 8:58 pm

It’s so, so great “seeing” you here today (you ALWAYS bring a smile to my face).

I’ve loved reading your message about life in Cuba (so awesome to have your family visit, huh!).

Happiness starts within…and when we’re at that place (internally), it then flows outward so authentically….and that’s such a wonderful thing…

Terie, know that I’m sending love, hugs, and caring thoughts….

Much love,


Delena Silverfox April 4, 2011 at 9:19 pm

This made me break into a huge grin. I would’ve laughed aloud when you said to imagine holding a baby; I’ve been doing that for almost 8 months now (wow that long already??) every day. Lately it seems the moments with her –when I’m focused on nothing else– are the only moments when I have peace and happiness.

On the other hand, it’s a new opportunity every day to show her absolute love and security, and to learn to have fun with the everyday as she discovers new things.

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Lance April 4, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Mmmm….having a little tiny life in your arms, what a feeling of peace that is. Reading your comment, I’m reminded of when my children were babies (yikes! several years ago now!) – and that sense of peace and joy there was in having them in my arms…falling asleep together…experiencing there deep and true smiles…

May these moments with your little one be moments that continue to bring you peace and love in your heart…


Brett Walker April 5, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Lance, I love your post. You’ve made some great points there which will help us to live a better life.


Lance April 5, 2011 at 8:52 pm

It’s great having you here!


Jon Mertz March 1, 2012 at 6:29 am

Excellent post, Lance! Something as simple as “you have this moment” is so powerful. We, too often, forget that point. We need to make our moments stand for something and link our moments together to live a life of meaning. Thanks for the reminder! Jon
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Lance Ekum March 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm

…moments…it can be so easy to not fully realize that the moment we are in – which might seem like just another normal, ordinary moment – really is an amazing and incredible moment (each one of our moments are…). And when we view our moments like this – for how amazing they are – life just becomes more precious and meaningful.

Thanks Jon, I really appreciate your being here…


ALi Davies March 8, 2012 at 5:47 am

You beautifully nail it on the head here – we need to step up and take personal responsibility for creating the life we really want. As you put it “create your own rules”. For me, it is all about designing the life we really want based on our core values and our own definition of success. So many people are chasing other peoples definitions of success and then ending up with a life of mediocrity and feeling unfullfilled. A book that does a great job of showing us how we are living not by others rules and what we can do about it is “The Four Agreements” by Don Migual Ruiz. I highly recommend it if you haven’t read it already.


Lance Ekum March 8, 2012 at 7:53 pm

…it is our life, after all, isn’t it. When we own that – that this is our life – and then go out there and live it – we ARE taking personal responsibility.

Very awesome – YOU, defining your life by your core values. That is so key to real joy in this life…

And – “The Four Agreements” – one of my favorite books – I read it for the first time a couple of years ago, and refer back to it often. It’s the second agreement – “dont’ take things personally” – that has been such a good one for me to soak in (and come back to often)…

Great having you here today!


Callie December 31, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Ahhhh this is SO true! I only wish I’d followed my heart and followed these Rules, before needing my life to be given a huge shake-up in 2011/12! Happy New Year, Lance!
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Lance Ekum January 1, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Thanks for visiting (and commenting!), Callie!!

I think that’s what it sometimes takes – is us, out there, having the experiences that are our life (whatever they are) – which help us to more fully understand self, and then be able to live more fully from that place within that speaks to us. The key, I believe, is in really be open to that self listening….

And it’s great that you’ve gotten to that place, and are now following your heart!

Happy 2013!!


Alex Iacob January 19, 2013 at 1:35 am

Love really does matter. I think it’s important to recognize that in order to see, feel, and appreciate love, one must also embrace its opposite. Sometimes we have to fall to the bottom before we want to climb to the top. By experiencing negative people and situations, we can earn our gratitude for the positive things. We can learn to love LOVE.



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